Chapter 17

Edwards POV

So many things had gone awry in this discussion, I didn't even know where to begin. Oh, wait. I did know where to begin. I'd begin with killing Emmett. Most of the time Emmett Neanderthal humor was endearing, but today it had been mortifying. Bella is Italian for beautiful, really, Emmett? REALLY? I shuddered at the memory. It was times like these that I actually wished that I could read Bella's mind to know what she actually thought of me and my family. She probably thought we were freaks. And boy was she right! And Rose being all persistent, making the camping trip sound more like a hostage situation than an outing with friends. Or whatever we were. Bella had seemed so hesitant about the matter that I'd just wanted to scream "You're off the hook, run while there's still time!" and drag her away from my awkward family.

But then there was this other side of me that was actually quite excited about the prospect of getting to go camping with Bella Swan. I still hadn't quite figured out what it was about her that interested me, but I could sense it growing every day. Every little thing she did seemed to spark my interest. I suppose this is how normal people feel every day, never quite understanding what the other was thinking? It was mind-blowing but also a bit scary. I was still struck by the fear ever so often that she really thought we were the town weirdos and that she hung out with us because she lacked options.

"Hey, Romeo", Emmett said and threw a book at me that had been lying on the living room table, "Writing little love poems in your head, are you?" "You're dead to me, Emmett. Don't even talk to me", I grumbled and threw the book back at him, hard. He caught it with both hands and just kept on laughing. "What you did today was so not cool and you know it!", I said, still infuriated by the mere thought of what had happened earlier today. "Take a chill pill, bro! I was only trying to have your back", Emmett said, now a bit more serious and trying to justify himself. "Well, you ended up making her awkward and hesitant about going with us so great work. Really, Emmett", Rosalie said sourly as she entered the living room,"I know you think your jokes are top notch, but not all do. That was so uncalled for, couldn't you tell you made her uncomfortable?"

Emmett suddenly started looking guilty, maybe realizing his jokes hadn't been as on point as he'd hoped. And he never could take a scolding from Rose. "You really think she was uncomfortable?", he asked hesitantly. "She was", I said shortly, "VERY uncomfortable. I wouldn't be surprised if she dodged out of the camping trip. Which I by the way never wanted to suggest to her in the first place. But oh no, Bella just HAD to come with us. That turned out just great, didn't it?" I was so mad I couldn't think properly. I had thought that maybe, just maybe, I could have a chance at some normalcy with Jasper out of the house, but apparently I didn't have one idiot brother but two. Great, just great.

"So, the bad vibe from the living room is seeping through every fiber of this house, what's up?" It was Carlisle who entered the living room with Esme close behind him. "Just Emmett blowing our chances of having any kind of social circle what so ever", I grumbled without looking at any of them. "Ah, nothing out of the ordinary then?", Carlisle said and proceeded to sit down on the edge of the couch were I was lying down, resenting my existence and this entire family. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the latest addition to the Fork's student body? A certain miss Swan?", Carlisle continued and I wanted to sink through the floor. On top of my brothers I also had a dorky father. Great, just great.

"Edward likes her and we're trying to get her to go out with him eventually. So I and Emmett thought it would be a good thing to do a camping trip, you know, so everyone could get to know each other better. But Emmett went a bit too hardcore on the invitation and I think he might have scared Bella away", Rosalie said. Carlisle got a concerned look on his face. "I see… Well, I know I don't have to lecture you on the subject of taking caution, but I think this is a good opportunity to rehash the subject for a bit. We have to be careful. Always. I know the people of Forks think we're a bit odd, but I think we've all learned to deal with that by now and it's not really a threat to our existence. I know you might think that's it's interesting with a new person in town who doesn't yet have any prejudices about our family, but I urge you all to act with care around Isabella. Her father is the sheriff and we could be in a heap of trouble if she knew our secrets and didn't keep them to herself. Be friends with her, I'm sure she'd appreciate that as much as you appreciate her friendship, but perhaps you shouldn't let her in too much just yet."

"It's not like I was planning on telling her anything about our messed up family, I'm not stupid!" I was so mad. How could Carlisle think I'd risk our secrets so easily? I'd lived this life for more than a hundred years and I knew what could happen if we weren't careful. I knew all too well. "I just wanted to make one friend, ONE friend, who isn't already a part of our world. Is that so crazy? You all have each other, and I don't have anyone. No one, and I'm sick of it. Is that so crazy?" If I still had had the ability to cry I probably would have at this moment. I was so sick of being confined in this house with these people. I just wanted something of my own. Carlisle stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's not crazy at all, Edward. It's not. I think we could all be a bit more understanding of where you're coming from, I know we've all been lacking in that department lately". The rest of my family hummed in unison. So they too had noticed that everything had been about Jasper lately? I suddenly felt a bit of relief. "If you want to try to get to know Isabella Swan, for whatever reason, we'll all support you." "Of course we will, Edward", Esme said and smiled at me. "We'll be supportive too", Emmett said and the rest of the family started laughing as I glared at him. "I'd appreciate it if you could be a bit less supportive, okay?", I said. But I had to admit, deep down I was feeling a bit more positive about the whole thing. Maybe I did stand a chance with Bella?