Chapter 24

Edward's POV

How was it even possible to snore this loud? I'd been totally fine reading my book in my sleeping bag before Emmett and Jake went to bed, but as soon as Jake had fallen asleep it was like being under a bridge with a freight train passing under it every 3 seconds. It was horrible. Emmett seemed to be unaffected by Jakes snoring, only plugging in his ear plugs and watching a movie. I on the other hand couldn't ignore Jake's snoring so easily and even though I focused as hard as I possibly could on getting through "Grapes of wrath" for the umpteenth time I just didn't seem to be able to block him out. After a good 15 minutes of trying to focus I gave up and climbed out of my sleeping bag. "I'm heading out for a bit", I mouthed to Emmett and he responded me just by nodding his head and then returning to his movie.

I unzipped the tent as quietly as I possibly could and climbed out into the darkness of the night. I walked over to the fireplace, that was now only ashes, and sat down on one of the logs we'd placed around it. I clasped my hands tight, folding them in my lap and then turned my gaze to the stars. Even though I'd seen it a thousand times by now the beauty of the night sky always seemed to be able to take my breath away. The sky was an endless dark sea tonight, sprinkled with tiny diamonds. The stars shone bright out here in the wilderness and I could make out countless constellations of stars across the sky. I could still hear Jake snoring back in the tent, but it wasn't as overwhelming as before. Praise the Lord…

As I sat there in the dark my thoughts began to wander, all of them ending up at the same place in the end. Bella Swan. If I'd been uncertain before I was more than certain now. I was falling head over heels for Bella Swan. I couldn't really tell what is was about her, if I was just in love with the fact that I couldn't hear her thoughts or if it was that she still was a bit of a mystery to me or if it just came down to her great personality. Either way, I'd sensed it more than ever today and I'd come to the conclusion that falling for Bella Swan would be inevitable if I kept hanging around her at this pace. And was that really the end of the world? Probably not. To begin with I didn't seem to stand much of a chance, seeing as she was "off the market" for reasons I still hadn't quite grasped. Second, and maybe most important, she'd shown no sign at all of returning my feelings. Sure, I was used to girls throwing themselves at my feet but that certainly wasn't happening here, quite the opposite. She was pleasant enough, as long as I didn't try to step over the invisible limits she'd drawn, and she always listened with interest when I talked. But the same thing went for Emmett and Rose too, so probably it was just the effect of a good upbringing.

So what would falling for Isabella Swan result in? It would result in me pining over her, probably without any response, and in the end it would probably break my heart. Even though things were not looking too good the thought of heartbreak still didn't scare me as much as it should have. I'd walked this earth for more than a hundred years, never risking even an inch of this unbeating heart. Maybe this was the time and the place? And if I was lucky, and that was a very big if, maybe just maybe I would be able to win her over and make her forget whatever it was in her that seemed to be haunting her. Because that was one thing I was sure of by now. After Rose's remark about Bella's heart beats I'd listened closely to them whenever I'd asked her questions about Phoenix, trying to conclude if it was just a coincidence or if it was a fact. And sure enough, as soon as I'd started paying attention to her heartbeats I'd noticed an increased heart rate whenever the subject of Phoenix came up. So yes, I was sure by now that something, or rather someone, back at home was causing Bella to shut down emotionally. This fact was indeed a bit disconcerting but it didn't do much to scare me off either. Phoenix was a long, long way from Forks and since I'd never picked up on her talking to or about a boyfriend back at home I reckoned it was old wounds that just needed time to heal. Suddenly I couldn't help but laugh. God, Edward Cullen… You are such a stalker! You're imagining a future with a girl that doesn't even seem to be comfortable with being alone with you for five minutes. What makes you think you could actually make this happen? And even if it worked out there'd be lies. A lot of lies.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a zipper. As I turned around I could see Bella peeking out of the tent. I must have been very lost in thought to have missed her getting out of bed and sneaking up on my like that.

"Edward, is that you?", she whispered.

"Yes, it's me", I said softly.

I observed her through the obscurity of the night and I could see that she looked frightened. As I listened I could hear her heart racing. Way to go, Edward, scaring the girl you're sweet on.

"I don't know if you've noticed, or if I'm the only one, but Jake could probably wake up a whole house with his snoring", I continued and smiled at her.

I could see her face break into a smile and I noticed her posture became more relaxed than before.

"Yeah, I remember his older sisters making fun of his snoring when we were younger", she snickered. "I suppose that is one of his qualities he hasn't managed to outgrow, even though I've never experienced it myself".

As I watched her I could tell she was still smiling and she looked at ease. Suddenly I realized I was staring. Come on, Edward. Snap out of it!

"So you couldn't sleep either?"

"Nope. I'm not a scaredy-cat or anything but I just find it hard to sleep with all the sounds from the forest. Twigs breaking. Animals. The wind. Everything really".

And stupid guys making noise outside of your tent at night I suppose… Well, this was my shot to have her alone for a while. Here goes nothing!

"Would you like to come and sit for a while?", I asked her, trying to sound as casually as I possibly could, even though I suspected my heart would have burst right out of my chest had it still been beating.

She looked at me hesitantly, not making a move to get out of the tent.

"Um…"she began.

"I'd really appreciate the company, if you didn't mind. I'm not a big fan of sitting alone in the dark, even though it's preferable to having to sleep next to Jake", I lied, yet again trying to sound like I didn't care what she did. Even though I was dying to have her company.

And those seemed to be the magic words because now she got outside and started walking over to me.

"I'm not a big fan of solo insomnia either", she confessed and sat down on the log opposite of the one I was sitting on. She was wearing a pajama with some quirky cartoons on it and a parkas on top of it. She craned her neck and directed her gaze towards the stars.

"Whoooa", she said, looking dazed and amazed by the mere sight of the night sky, "Do they even make skies like these anymore?"

I had to restrain myself from laughing at her reaction. It was endearing. I'd seen night skies all over the world and this one was hardly the most spectacular I'd seen. But I imagined, Bella being a city girl and all, she hadn't been in a lot of dark places watching skies like these.

"Yeah, it's pretty neat. They don't make 'em like this in Phoenix?"

Once more I caught her heart thumping wildly and I cursed myself for bringing of that god damn town again.

"Um, no. Not really. I suppose the smog and the city lights ruin that for us", she said, not sounding all that chipper anymore. You are hopeless, Edward Cullen… Now save this!

"I remember, a couple of years ago, me and my family went to Greece and we went to this far off island. I can't recall what its name was, it probably ended with ymnos or something. Well, that's beside the point, anyhow. On that island you could see every little star in the night sky and they would also reflect in the ocean. You couldn't tell the ocean from the sky, it was like they had merged together. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

When I was done rambling about that greek island that I'd actually visited 20 years or so ago I noticed she was looking at me. I couldn't read her face at all, but that was nothing out of the ordinary I suppose.

"You and your siblings are so lucky to have visited all these places", she said at last, still observing me.

"Yes, we've been very privileged. I'm aware of that", I answered her. But all I wanted to tell her was that you could travel every country in the world and you might still never find what you were looking for. You could to every city of the world and you might still never find the inner peace you were looking for. And yet again, you could go to a far off place in the woods and then, just maybe you'd find it there. I looked at her and tried to stop myself from drawing a deep breath to inhale her scent from across the fireplace. Yes, you certainly could find that.

"How come you ended up in Forks to begin with?", she suddenly asked.

Her question threw me a bit. We'd been living in Forks for so long that people rarely asked that question anymore and I'd pretty much forgotten the official reasons we'd given upon being asked in the beginning.

"Um…", I started. And then I decided to go with it. "Well, it's complicated to be honest. My parents just figured we'd be better off in a smaller town rather than in the big city, for a lot of reasons. It's all in the past now anyhow, it doesn't matter now."

By the way I knew Bella I imagined that kind of answer would spark a hundred questions but unlike most people Bella respected other people's boundaries and she wouldn't come prying for answers. And just as I'd suspected she just nodded in my direction and then turned her gaze to the stars again. Thanks to my super vision I could see the stars reflecting in her eyes and it made my mind overflow with affection for her. God, you've got it bad, Edward. So, so bad.

"Yeah, I know all about that", she suddenly said, still without taking her eyes off the stars.

Whoa, was this the same secretive Bella Swan I'd known for a couple of weeks now? Was this the part when she started opening up to me? I was afraid to even open my mouth but at the same time I didn't want to let this moment go.

"You do?", I croaked. Man, I'd been dying to hear this for weeks, but now I wasn't so sure anymore if I wanted to hear it. Without any warning she turned her eyes from the sky and directly towards me and now I was more certain than ever that I did not wanna hear this.

"I think you've figured out that I didn't just move to Forks because my mom started dating a pro baseball player by now. Right?"

Her eyes pierced right through me and I knew there was no point in lying to her. Of course she'd noticed all the times I'd subtly, and not so subtly, pried in her past.

"Yes, I think I've grasped that", I said, trying to keep my cool.

"I can tell the story if you'd be interested in hearing it?", she said, her voice totally toneless.

"Yes", I said, without hesitation. "I would."