Chapter 30
Edward's POV
So what if she wasn't romantically interested in me? Lying next to her like this must be the next best thing. I stroked her pale skin as she lay next to me sleeping. I couldn't even fathom what had happened tonight and why she'd suddenly chosen to jump me like that, but you wouldn't hear me complaining anytime soon. She drew a deep breath and I was struck by it all over again. Bella Swan was lying here next to me in all her glory and beauty. I'd never done anything like what we'd done tonight before. Yes, reader, I was in fact a virgin before Bella Swan came my way. But being with her everything just came naturally and I could still feel my thoughts go dizzy when I thought of her climaxing at the touch of my hand. If this wasn't heaven is there really a heaven? I traced my fingers along the curve of her hip and gently pulled up the covers around her. Her beautiful brown hair spilled all over the pillow. Were there streaks of gold in it? That must have been Rosalie's doing I suspected. It looked good on her.
So what would be the outcome of what had happened between us tonight? I could already envision how Bella would wake up in the morning, not quite regretting what had happened but still panicked about what I'd be thinking about it. Us. Her. She'd try to distance herself from me more than ever after this. But I wasn't about to let her do that, no chance. I was going to be all casual about it and pretend that I had let my sexual urges get the best of me. I would tell her that I'd gotten the message last weekend when we'd gone camping and that I'd understood that she wasn't looking for a new boyfriend. But that I'd be glad to keep doing what we were doing, no strings attached. No way in hell was I about to tell her that I never had been doing what we were doing before and that I was glad that it was her "popping my cherry". If I told her that she'd know I was about to get clingy and territorial as fuck. And I wasn't going to either way. Being clingy and trying to force myself on Bella emotionally would only lead to her distancing herself from me even further. Suddenly I realized she was watching me.
"Uhm… hi", she started.
"Hi", I said and smiled at her, trying to sound as casual as one can be in situations like these.
"I hadn't planned on falling asleep. I better get back to Rosalie before she notices that I'm missing", she said and started getting up.
"Don't you think we should just have a brief conversation about what happened here last night? No avoid any awkwardness, I mean", I said and put my hand on her arm.
I could tell her heart was beating really fast and I could see her blushing through the dark. She was about to distance herself from all of this, just as I'd suspected. But I was going to beat her to the punch.
"Okay, so I'll be blunt. I know that you're not shopping for a new boyfriend and I'm not in the business of pining over a girl that has some other guy on her mind, that's not what this was. So you don't have to look so worried, I'm not about to start writing you poems or bring you chocolates."
Boy, did I want to write poems about this girl? Sure did.
"I got the message last weekend and I don't want you to think I'm disrespecting your wishes, not at all. But I am a man after all, and you're a beautiful woman, and I just couldn't help myself when you got that close to me. I don't want things to get awkward between us because of this, but in my opinion this was really awesome. We've got chemistry and I'm really turned on by you, and I don't see why we shouldn't do this again if we're both comfortable with it?"
I looked at her intently, waiting for her response. Please don't be weirded out by what I just said, please don't be weirded out by what I just said, PLEASE DON'T BE WEIRDED OUT BY WHAT I JUST SAID!
"Okay…"she finally said. "I can do that. I don't want things to get weird between the two of us either, and I don't want to be weird around Rosalie and Emmett. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell them about this?"
"I won't, trust me. The last thing I want is Rose and Emmett joking about this. And I don't think my parents would be overly excited about… or Charlie for that matter."
I could see her shuddering at the thought of Charlie knowing.
"No, I'd prefer if everyone around us didn't learn about this" she said and then continued. "But you're right, we do have chemistry it seems and I for one thought this was really great, actually. I had almost forgotten about how nice sex is."
"Yeah, it's been a while for me too" I said, trying to be convincing. More like a lifetime of no sex, Edward Cullen.
Then we were both silent for a while.
"Okay then" Bella said. "So we're friends with benefits now I suppose?" She had a broad smile on her face.
"Well, speaking of friends with benefits…" I said and stretched out my arms towards her. I embraced her and dragged her over to me, but she didn't resist.
"There's something I've been wanting to try", I whispered in her ear and then I let my fingers start wandering down her stomach.
With her face next to me she smiled at me and gave me a kiss.
"Then do it..." she answered and pulled the covers that were wrapped around her away.
After we'd finished our second round Bella kissed me goodbye and went back to Rosalie's room. I felt a bit bad for Rosalie having to listen to our sex marathon all night, seeing as we don't sleep and have super hearing. But I'd endured quite a few marathons from her and Emmett through the years so I figured it was fair. Bella had seemed fine with our agreement when she'd kissed me goodbye and I hoped that feeling would stick with her. Sure, I wanted more from her, I wasn't going to lie about that. But if this was what I could get right now then so be it.
After a couple of hours I could hear her and Rosalie getting up and heading downstairs. After waiting a good 20 minutes I figured it would be fine to make my presence known. I got dressed and went down to the kitchen. Bella was sitting by the counter, eating scrambled eggs. Rose was sitting next to her, pretending to do the same. We'd all perfected the art of pretending to eat through the years.
"Good morning", I said casually and opened the refrigerator, pretending to look for anything edible.
"Are you home already? I didn't hear you get in" Rose said, cocking one eyebrow at me. Yeah, she'd definitely heard us.
"Yeah, I got depressed being in Denali. So I decided to head back before the others", I said casually. "Did you guys have a good time yesterday?"
"Yeah, we watched a couple of movies. And Rose gave me a bit of a makeover" Bella said and ran her hand through her hair. I was amazed by how casual she managed to sound around me. I was happy that she'd bought my whole friends-with-benefits-speech, but it did sting a little that she seemed so unaffected by my presence. You only have yourself to blame for this, Edward. You're the one who signed up for friends with benefits.
"Looks nice" I said and smiled at her as I poured a glass of orange juice.
"So when will mom and dad be home?" Rosalie suddenly asked.
"I think they'll be home for dinner" I said, not too enthusiastic about it. Both Carlisle and Emmett had been disappointed in me for leaving early, but I just couldn't stand being around Jasper when he got his fits. We'd be having a normal conversation being a family and suddenly you'd just see his eyes go blank and he'd lose himself. It had only happened once this visit, so probably it was true what they said about him getting better by the day. But once was enough to remind me of all the damage he'd done to our family back in Tacoma. The others seemed confident that he'd be good enough to come back to Forks by summer, but I wasn't going to let him anywhere near this town as long as he was anywhere near having one of his bloodcrazes. It just wasn't safe. I looked at Bella who was staring out the window, her head in the clouds. No, I wasn't about to let anything happen to her.
