Thank you so much IamTheAlleyCat for beta'ing and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I am happy to be back in the world of Twilight with you all. It's been a long time and I had almost forgotten how much fun it was to be here. It was great to see so many familiar names and old friends in my inbox, too. Thank you for the reviews, faves and follows. I was truly overwhelmed by the response the first chapter got. I've been itching to post this chapter as I wanted to chat with you all again. It's finally Saturday so here you go x
I realized too late that I was replying to some reviews from my Supernatural account after the last chapter. I'm sorry for any confusion. I can't promise it won't happen again as I am still logged into my SPN account as I have stories still posting in that world. It's always me, though, no matter which account it comes from.
Thanks to Goldielover's review, I realized I'd failed to put the pairing and characters in the post after my first failed attempt at posting - I hate captchas. It's a Bella/Edward pairing. Incidentally, it started out as a Bella/Carlisle but I came back in 2016 and realised I couldn't make Carlisle do it to his son. I'm sorry if that disappoints any of you. If it helps, I have an idea for a Bella/Carlisle story that I am outlining now for when I finish my current Bella/Jasper WIP.
Chapter Two
Carlisle
I did not see Bella again for the rest of the week, though I thought about her often. I considered seeking her out through the police department, but I decided against it. She may not want see me again.
When we had met, she had been so casual, so blithe, that it could just have been her way to save me face in front of other people, pretending she actually wanted to see me again. I didn't want to force my company on her if it would be unwelcomed. There was a time in which I would have gone to her without hesitation, back when we had been family, but that time had come and gone.
Having lived for three centuries, I had gained many regrets, but perhaps the biggest was the night I had stood with my son against others in my family and agreed to leave Forks. I regretted that night not because of Bella, for she had blossomed and seemed to bear no ill marks from their parting. It was all for Edward. He had destroyed himself thoroughly with that choice, made in the heat of the moment, mere hours after she had almost been killed.
But he had been so desperate for us to go. He had come back to the house that night, after seeing her home, and his careful façade of calm had still been in place. He had merely called us all together in the dining room, the first time since the day of another near-death experience for Bella, and decreed that we had to leave. Naturally, we argued with him. Esme, Alice, and Emmett, the ones were most open with their love for the sweet, fragile human that had stumbled into our family, were the strongest opposers.
Esme had been the first to come around. Edward needed but a handful of words to gain her agreement, "Think, Esme, she could have died tonight."
She had been moved out of love. She wanted Bella safe.
Emmett and Alice had not been so easily persuaded.
Alice had loved Bella before she had spoken even a word to her. She'd seen them become the best of friends in her visions, and that was all she had needed. Then they had spoken, and that was all Alice had needed to cement it in her mind that Bella and she were forever linked. They were best friends. She hadn't wanted to leave her behind, and she hadn't wanted to see her brother destroy himself as only she could see how terribly he would. She didn't tell us what exactly she had seen for him, but it had been spelled out in the look on her face. It wasn't until months later that I saw for myself what her vision must have shown her.
Emmett had been persuaded by Rosalie that leaving was right. She had used the right words. "She deserves a human life, Emmett. She will be safer without us here. You have to let go of her for her own good."
I knew, as did we all in our hearts, that Rosalie had been less concerned about Bella than she had been herself. She envisaged life returning to normal for us all without Bella. She wanted her brother back the way he had been. She had been foolish in the extreme. Without Bella, he would never be the same.
But I had stood with him, supported his decision, as I believed it was his to make. After so many years of obliging the rest of us when it was time to move on, I obliged him. I hadn't known, God forgive me, I hadn't seen, that I was making the greatest mistake in allowing him this choice.
I had allowed my son to break himself.
We had packed what was needed that night and stolen away into the darkness, headed to Alaska. The plan was for Edward to join us there when he had settled things with Bella. We would then make plans for where to go next.
We waited a week, but he didn't arrive, so I broke the vow I had made myself to allow him time and called him. I hadn't expected to find him happy, I knew him better than that, but the man that spoke to me was devoid of all animation. His voice was a dead thing, monotone, empty, lost. It hurt me in a way no physical wound could.
Since their parting, I had asked Edward if he had made the right choice on two separate occasions. He had assured me he had. The second time he had not been so sure, but it had been too late then.
The first time had been on the phone. I had left the room the family were gathered in, not because walls could block my voice from them but because they would allow me privacy then out of respect. "Son, are you sure you have done the right thing? It's not too late to go back."
His reply had been quick, prepared. "I love her enough to let her go."
I knew he did, I just wished for them both that he didn't.
Then he broke my heart a little more. "I am not coming with you, Carlisle. I can't. I am going after Victoria."
After Bella had left the hospital in Phoenix, Edward and I had discussed Victoria and the danger she posed. He was certain that he himself would be a target, as it had been him that James had intended to lure by killing Bella. She had no way of knowing that the actual killing had been done by Jasper and Emmett and not Edward. At that time, the conclusion we had come to was that she would strike at some point, Alice would see it coming, and Victoria would be dispatched with in short order. He would have gone after her then had it not been for Bella. Now, without Bella, there was nothing holding him in place . He had a mission, a distraction.
When they learned what he was going to do, Jasper and Emmett offered to go with him, but he refused their company. He didn't say it to them, but he confided in me that he wouldn't separate them from their mates now he knew how that felt.
A week after our first meeting, I finished an early shift at the hospital and was just making my way through the halls to the exit when I caught Bella's scent. I considered for a moment, wondering whether to follow it and see her again or let her be, when the decision was made for me by the fates as Bella appeared at the end of the hall.
She looked distracted, annoyed even, and for a moment I stood poised on the verge of ducking into a room to let her pass untroubled, but she looked up then and saw me. Her reaction caught me completely off guard. She beamed and hurried her pace towards me. I found myself returning the smile.
"Carlisle," Bella said happily, coming to a stop in front of me.
I was momentarily stunned wordless by her reaction. I had spent a week fretting over whether or not she would want to see me, and here she was, her smile saying it all. My inertia lasted less than a second, too short a time for her to notice, before I was smiling back at her and saying, "Bella, how are you?"
She grimaced. "I'm having a reasonably awful day so far, but it's looking up now."
"Is it anything you would like to talk about?" I asked, and as I did, my thoughts traveled back through the years to the summer of Bella and Edward. She would come to the house, even when Edward was away hunting, to spend time with us all. Alice often monopolized her time, but Bella did her best to be with the rest of the family in turn. We would talk about the things she loved and worried over, the most dominant of which was Edward.
Perhaps she was remembering the same as she smiled slightly. "Only if you have time."
"I have just finished my shift. I have all the time in the world to talk."
"Brilliant," she said, then she glanced out of the window at the pouring rain. "Okay, the park's out. How about we meet at Starbucks and you can pretend to drink a coffee while I indulge?"
"That sounds perfect," I said, wondering at how easy it was with her still. How, for all my worry about her not wanting to see me, I was slipping into comfort without even realizing it.
"I've just got to run by the station and drop something off," she said, waving an envelope. "Give me fifteen and I'll be there."
I nodded, and she carried on along the hall. I turned and watched her go, noting the bounce in her step that hadn't been there before. She had said it was a reasonably awful day, and I had made it look up.
It made me happy.
I only had to wait five minutes after my arrival, long enough to purchase a coffee I would not drink and find a table, before I spotted her through the glass door of the store. Bella didn't have the same bounce in her step as she had when I had left her at the hospital, but she looked happy still. She pushed open the door, and her eyes roved around until they fell on me at a corner table. She shook her umbrella out the door and then folded it and stowed it in the bucket with others.
Bella held up a finger to indicate she would be a minute and then joined the short queue at the counter. I watched as a young man with sandy blond hair approached her, welcoming smile in place, and said, "Officer Swan. The usual?"
"Yes, please," she said happily.
"Donut?" he asked, laughter twinkling in his eyes.
"Ha-ha. No, thanks."
He nodded and smiled. "Coming right up."
She rooted through her purse while he fixed her drink. She was evidently known to more people than the young man, as the other staff greeted her between serving people and asked after her. When her drink was ready, she paid and then carried it over to me and sat down. She took a sip, closed her eyes with apparent relish, and then set the mug down.
"Is that nice?" I asked, amused by her expression.
"Caramel macchiatos are better than nice," she said. "They're…heavenly." She frowned. "Oh. I didn't think. Is this okay? The smell not bothering you?"
"It's fine," I said. "Not a problem at all." Coffee didn't smell as bad as some human beverages, but it wasn't something I would enjoy drinking the way Bella seemed to.
"Good," she said. "I haven't had to think about things like this in so long."
"I appreciate your consideration."
She waved it away. "No problem."
"So, you said you were having a bad day. Would you like to talk about it now?" At her shake and gentle smile, I continued, "You don't have to."
"It's not that. It's just you're still so…Carlisle. I don't know why I expected you do be different. Intellectually, I knew you wouldn't be, but I guess I did anyway. Crazy."
It wasn't crazy to me at all. It was endearing. She was thinking of me as human, constantly changeable. I liked it. She had always seen us as people first and vampires second. I was happy that hadn't changed.
"And yet you have changed so much," I said.
She nodded vigorously. "I have. I don't think I realized how much until recently."
"Your bad day?" I prompted, wanting to know what had made her unhappy in hopes that I could do something to ease it.
"What happened when I last saw you has its consequences. I was at the hospital today to see a shrink." Her lips pressed into a thin line. "I am on administrative leave until they finish the official investigation. I get why they have to do it, but it sucks that they're all questioning it when I know I did the right thing."
I knew a little about police procedures as it affected me in my work, but I didn't know much. I would have to rectify that for future reference so I could help her.
I was brought up short by my thoughts. It was one coffee, not a promise of contact, and here I was planning things that definitely indicated hope for more. It was unlike me.
"Anyway," she said firmly. "You don't want to hear about that, and I want to hear about you."
"What do you want to know?"
"I want to know everything! Where have you been these past years? What have you been doing?"
I laughed at her enthusiasm. "I recently moved here from Ithaca. I had been working and teaching part-time there for the past five years."
She held up a hand. "You were teaching? Like Cornell teaching? Seriously?"
"Yes."
"Wow. That's brilliant. Those students, getting to learn from you… They were so lucky."
"Thank you, Bella," I said, heartfelt. "What about you? I know you must have passed through the academy, but did you study elsewhere?"
"I did." There was a strain of pride in her voice. "Southern Oregon University. Associates in Criminal Justice."
"That's wonderful," I said. "But I have to ask, why law enforcement? It is not the career I would have imagined for you."
"It wasn't what I imagined for myself either when I was eighteen," she admitted. "And my initial motivation seems silly, but when I started considering it seriously, I knew it was the right path for me."
"What was your motivation?" I asked.
She shook her head. "That's a topic for another time. Now, it's my turn." A wry smile crept across her lips. "How is everyone else? How's Alice? And Esme, and Emmett?" She sounded almost longing.
"They are well," I said. "Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper are in college again at the moment. Esme is in Alaska, visiting with our extended family there."
"That's great. I bet they're enjoying college a lot more than high school. I know I did."
"I can imagine," I said. "How are Charlie and Renee?"
"They're both great. Happy. Renee is teaching again now. She and Phil seem to have settled in Florida for good. Phil is enjoying his coaching job. Charlie is still living the Forks life, keeping the good people safe. He's married now, Sue Clearwater from the reservation." She laughed softly. "I'm not an only child anymore. Sue has two children: Seth and Leah."
"Do you get on with them?"
"My turn to ask a question," she corrected. "How is Edward?"
I had intentionally not mentioned him when I told her about the rest of my family because I didn't want to upset her. But she seemed calm, curious perhaps. There wasn't the pain in her voice that I was expecting. I had only Edward for reference when it came to the cost of their parting, and he was broken. She was clearly not. I shouldn't have expected her to be, really; she was human, and it had been a long time since they were together.
"Carlisle?" she prompted. "He is okay, isn't he?"
"He is well," I said. This was as honest as I could be without risking hurting to her. "He is currently living in Italy with some friends of ours, studying in his own way."
It was the vaguest way possible of telling her Edward was living in practical seclusion with the Volturi. He had an apartment in the city but from what I understood he was rarely there. He preferred to stay ensconced in the library of their castle, reading everything in the vast collection in an attempt to distract himself.
"That's good," she said. "I wonder sometimes. I'm glad he's happy."
He wasn't remotely happy, but I didn't correct her. I was distracted by what she had said, "I wonder sometimes." How could it be that the bond I had once thought was everlasting, absolute, between them had come to this? The answer was formed as quickly as the question. She had grown up without him. I had no doubt that had he stayed, she would have loved him as long as she lived, whether it was as a human or as a vampire. He had removed himself from her life, though, and the price of that had been her love.
I hoped he never found out. Though how that would be possible, I didn't know.
"Are you happy?" I asked.
"Yes. I haven't always been. Life was sometimes very hard, but now I am. I have friends, family, a job I love, and I am settled here." She paused and seed to consider something. "I think that's the same for most people. You suffer, and it makes you stronger."
"You always were strong."
She shook her head quickly. "No, Carlisle, not always. Sometimes I was selfish and weak, and I hurt people I love."
"We all have," I reassured her. "It is not a crime."
"Perhaps. It's too late to change now, though, isn't it?"
I nodded a little sadly. It was too late. My regret was torn now. On one hand, in agreeing with Edward that we should leave Forks and Bella, I had played a part in him destroying himself. On the other, I looked at Bella and saw the wonderful woman she had become, and I wondered if that would have been possible had we stayed. She would have been wonderful still, but she would not have been the same.
"Are you happy, Carlisle?" she asked. "You seem it, but your eyes… I don't know. They're not the same somehow."
I was as happy as I could be in my situation. The loss of happiness in my eyes was the price of Edward's loss. The loss of his Bella.
I forced a smile. "I am happy right now. That is what counts."
"Yes," she said. "It is."
And so I relaxed and enjoyed her company and allowed myself to rejoice in the moment. We parted ways after a long and very pleasant conversation, promising to see each other again soon. Then, I went home and allowed the sadness and grief to take over me.
My son had his wish; Bella was happy and human, and it had cost him everything.
So… That was the first step of the story really coming together. I loved writing this scene as I've always loved these moments—the catching up on each other's lives—in New Moon stories. The only thing I enjoy more is when they're all together to talk.
Until next time…
Simaril xxx
