Thank you so much IamTheAlleyCat for beta'ing and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Edward
When the wolves were out of sight and I could no longer hear their thoughts, I spoke Bella's name quietly.
She seemed to brace herself before turning to face me and letting me see her changed face with my own eyes for the first time.
She was stunning. Her beauty, which had always been unparalleled to me before, was impossibly enhanced. Even her vivid crimson eyes were beautiful, as I could see my love's awareness in them. Even perfectly still, she exuded grace. I had never been more awed in my life.
She looked back at me, and her expression was just as marveling, as if she saw something in me that reflected the wonder of her.
"Bella," Carlisle said quietly, and her gaze snapped to him. She seemed just as shocked by his appearance as mine. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, her voice uncertain. "I mean, I feel like me, and it doesn't hurt anymore, but at the same time, I feel different." She rolled her shoulders. "Like I need to control myself."
"You're doing remarkably well," he said.
"Very controlled," Jasper added, sounding almost disapproving.
"Is that bad?" she asked.
He considered before answering. "No, it's just…different. I have never seen a newborn like this before. You should never have been able to talk rationally with the wolves instead of attacking. You should be out of your mind with thirst."
Her hand came up to cup her throat, and she sounded almost annoyed as she said, "Well, I am now."
"Come on, love," I said. "We can hunt."
Her eyes widened, and she bit her lip, a trait I thought had been banished with her enhanced confidence. It pleased me that there was a sign of the Bella I had first grown to love in her still, not that I relished this uncertainty she was feeling.
"I don't know how."
"It's instinct, love," I said, reaching out a hand to her. She hesitated a moment before taking it, and I smiled as I registered our matching temperature for the first time.
She seemed just as surprised by it as I did. She lifted our clasped hands and looked at them, a smile quirking her lips.
She's got to be in pain, Carlisle thought then, and I winced.
I remembered the pain of the burn of the thirst immediately after my change, how I thought I would go mad because of it. I was neglecting her needs in favor of my own pleasure in her change.
"Bella?" I questioned. "Are you ready?"
Her hand came back to her throat. "Yes," she said, sounding certain now. "Where are we going?"
I waved a hand at the forest and said, "Wherever you wish."
She took one quick step, and then another, and then she broke into a run. I watched her go, her hair billowing out at her back and her movements like flowing water, and then Alice cleared her throat. "Uh, Edward, you might want to go with her."
Emmett snorted.
Thankfully, I was still the fastest. I raced to catch up with her, reaching her side within a second.
She glanced at me and smiled. Then, with a wink, she pushed herself faster, using her immense strength to get ahead of me. I ran after her and grinned as I heard the tinkling laugh bubble from her.
We ran deep into the forest, deeper than we really needed to go, but I was enjoying her excitement as we ran.
It was with great reluctance that I called her to a halt. She stopped immediately and turned to face me.
"We can run forever soon, but I think you should hunt first," I said.
"Okay. What do I have to do?"
She didn't sound unsure; it was more like she was giving me the chance to impart wisdom.
"Close your eyes," I instructed. She obeyed immediately. "What can you hear?"
She concentrated for a moment, her brow furrowed. "Heartbeats."
"What can you smell?"
Her nose wrinkled. "Blood, but it's strange. It doesn't smell like the wolves. It's earthy."
Thankfully, nothing we ate smelled as bad as the dogs. We would never be able to feed otherwise.
"Good," I said. "Can you tell where they are?"
"East."
"Are you ready?"
She nodded and then flew away from me, her footsteps almost silent on the forest floor. I took a moment to admire her and then followed.
Carlisle
I stood on the porch and watched my son and daughter run out of sight into the trees, and I felt a wave of relief so intense it was heady.
Though I had concealed my thoughts successfully from Edward, I had been terrified Bella wasn't going to make it through the change intact. I'd had a very real fear that she was going to be changed only to never wake again. I had thought I had said my last ever words to her, and they hadn't been what should have been said.
"Try to be calm."
What was that worth when I had never said anything that I needed to?
I hadn't told her how happy I was to have her in our lives again. How much I loved her. How she was my daughter in every sense of the word that mattered. How proud I was of the woman she had become.
I had missed that opportunity to make things right. But here she was incredibly alive, free, and powerful. She was one of us now, and I would be able to say all the things she needed to hear from me, that I needed her to hear.
Esme's hand slipped into mine, and she gave it a brief squeeze. I smiled. My wife knew me so well, knowing exactly what I needed in that moment—the comfort of my mate.
In contrast to my sober thoughts, Alice and Emmett were practically alive with happiness.
To their minds, Bella's change was the best outcome of them all. Alice remembered nothing of her human life and so didn't understand the concept of loss in that context. The only loss she could remember suffering in her life was the loss of Bella years ago, and now they were together again. Forever.
Emmett also had different views on humanity. He loved being a vampire as he had loved his life as a human. He was one of the rare people that could find joy in almost anything. He had his mate at his side and family around him. He was content with his lot in life.
Jasper, on the other hand, was exuding tension quite literally as he stared at the spot Edward and Bella had disappeared.
"Is something wrong, Jasper?" I asked.
He looked up at me and his expressive eyes were solemn. "I'm not sure yet. We need to talk," he said, turning and walking into the house.
We trailed in after him, and each took a seat, Rosalie choosing an armchair where she could be alone. Emmett frowned at her and then threw himself down on the couch beside Alice.
Jasper sat forward in his seat, his hands clasped between his knees.
"What is it, Jasper?" Esme asked.
"Bella," he replied.
"Yeah," Emmett said gleefully. "She's awesome. Did you see how she handled those wolves? They didn't stand a chance when she started threatening them. And how clever was that? 'We have friends'. I mean obviously we do, but none of us would have used them as a tactic." He considered. "Except maybe you, Jazz. You've got competition, man."
Jasper nodded thoughtfully. "It was impressive. All the more so when you considered she was moments after waking. The sensory overload should have still been rocking her mind, but she was calm. And the thirst. I was out of my head with it when I woke up, all newborns are, but it was like she didn't notice until we spoke about it."
Emmett nodded eagerly. "Yep, she's awesome."
"For now," Jasper said ominously.
"You don't think it will last?" I asked.
"I don't know. I have seen probably thousands of newborns, and yet I have never seen anything like I saw today. She was amazing. And then there's what she did to the wolves. It was incredible. How did she do it?"
"She's gifted," Emmett said. "Duh."
Jasper rolled his eyes. "I figured that part out, thanks. What I mean is how is it possible that, in the instant after waking, she was able to manifest that… I don't even know what to call it."
"A shield, I think," I said, my tone musing. "It's a little like Renata's gift—she is Aro's personal bodyguard. She works differently, but the ultimate result is protection. When you approach her while she is focused on her shield, you're diverted. It's as if you forget why you're there and what you're doing. I saw it in action in Volterra. A nomad brought in for judgment attempted to attack Aro, and the next moment he was heading in the opposite direction."
"Only a little like it, though," Alice said. "The wolves looked like they had hit a brick wall."
"Incredible," Jasper said again.
"It must have been instinct," Esme said. "We were under threat, Edward was under threat, and her gift protected us and him automatically, the same way Alice's visions manifest automatically when there is something to see that's important to see."
I considered. I thought she was right, which begged the question of whether Bella would be able to do it again.
"You know, it makes sense that her gift would be about protection," Alice said. "Remember what she said when she was talking about why she became a cop? She wanted to protect people. Now, she can not only protect herself but other people, too."
"Do you think she could do it again?" Esme asked me.
"I don't know," I said honestly. "I suppose the gift is there, that won't change, but whether she can manifest it so easily, I don't know. Gifts take time to develop and practice to control. She may need time to master it. The fact she's as controlled as she is amazes me as much as her possible power."
"It is amazing," Alice said. "It's like she was born to be a vampire."
Rosalie scoffed.
I turned to look at her. I had wondered when my first daughter was going to join the conversation, when the need to share her opinion would become too much for her. Now, it seemed, was the time.
"Born to be a vampire?" she said scathingly. "No one is born to be a vampire. We are born to live. Edward ruined all that when he sank his teeth into her."
"When he saved her, you mean?" Alice said, anger bleeding into her tone. "Because that's what he did. She would have died otherwise."
"Not necessarily," Rosalie said bitterly. "She might have lived if you'd gotten her to the hospital in time."
"You weren't there, Rose," I said reasonably. "You didn't see what we did. Had Bella lived, and I do not believe for a moment that she could have, she would have been ruined regardless. She would have been brain damaged to a devastating degree."
"Better that than a vampire," she replied.
Emmett winced at her angry words.
Alice's hands fisted on her lap, and I was sure she was resisting the urge to strike her sister. "Bella deserves life," she said in a controlled voice. "She deserves the chance to do all the things she dreamed of. Maybe some of them will be different now, but she will still do them."
"She has lost everything!" Rosalie snapped. "Her friends, her family, her life."
"She has gained forever," I said quietly. "And she still has us."
"Besides," Emmett said, a falsely cheery note to his words. "She said she wanted this anyway."
Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "Do you really believe that? Because I don't."
"She could have changed her mind," Esme said hopefully. "She wanted it so much before."
"I hope she did," Jasper said, sounding ominous. "Because if she didn't, we have a newborn that doesn't want to be a vampire to deal with."
Bella
The deer I had taken down had tasted wrong. I knew, though I had never tasted it or even smelled human blood, that there was something in the world that would be far more appealing, something that would help quench the burn in my throat that I still felt, despite the fact I had fed greedily.
Edward seemed pleased, though. As we walked hand in hand back to the house, he raved about my control and ability.
I thought I was a mess, personally. My clothes were stained with blood and dirt, and my hair had twigs in it. I didn't feel particularly able.
In truth, I felt overwhelmed and confused. There was so much to take in that even my new ability to think of many things at once wasn't enough to help. I wished for silence and solitude. If I could just have an hour to think and process, I thought I could gain control of myself mentally as well as physically. I didn't think that was going to be a possibility for a while, though, so I had to suck it up and remember who and what I was… Who I had been. What I had been. I wasn't a cop, anymore. I was a vampire now. That life was over.
"Are you okay, love?" Edward asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. Fine."
He frowned, undeceived, but he didn't push the topic, for which I was grateful.
"How did you like running?" he asked, instead.
I smiled, only slightly forced. I had loved to run. It felt like I imagined flying would. Even as I moved at incredible speed, I could see everything around me in perfect clarity. It was a heady experience. And there was the way the air felt against my face: like a lover's caress instead of the rushing wind it had been when I had run with Edward.
"It was fantastic," I said.
"Do you feel like racing back to the house?" he asked.
I grinned. "Sure."
Before he could say another word, I was in motion, racing back along the scent trail we had created on our way away from the house. Edward kept pace at my side, and I suspected he was checking his speed for me. I pushed harder, wanting him to do the same, and again, he stayed at my side.
Then, when we were close enough to the house that I could smell the scent of the wolves again, I heard the sound of a car's engine.
"Bella, stop!" Edward shouted.
I did, sending up a plume of dirt and leaves. Edward grabbed my arm and held it tight. I was aware in a peripheral way that the force he was using would be enough to crush my bones had I been a human.
I stayed perfectly still, listening as the engine cut off and two doors opened and closed a few seconds apart.
"Hold your breath," Edward said.
I obeyed again, but I made a mistake, a stupid, human mistake—I took a deep breath first.
The scent was like nothing else I had ever smelled. It sent my throat into flames again and drew me like a magnet. I knew this was what I needed; this would quench the thirst in a way the deer had been unable to.
I yanked my arm out of Edward's grip and ran again.
"Bella, no!" he shouted after me.
While I recognized the words and the need in them, I couldn't stop myself from racing towards the scent. I was an animal in that moment, only occupied with what I needed to survive.
I registered two other scents, and Jasper and Emmett appeared, racing towards me. I zigzagged away from them, diving under Jasper's arm successfully before someone tackled me. I growled and snarled as Emmett tried to pin me with his knees on my back. It was easy, though, with my new strength, to buck him off and scramble to my feet again. I felt Jasper forcing his influence on me, and I shoved it away, feeling the calm leave me at once. I heard a shocked gasp and Jasper's voice shouting. "Hold her, Edward."
Arms wrapped around me like iron bands, and Edward spoke in my ear. "I'm sorry, love. I am so sorry. Please don't fight me."
He had no chance of controlling me though. I was stronger. I broke from him and ran. I could hear them following me, and I threw out a hand as if to stop them. I felt something fly away from me and then the pressure against my mind the way I had when I had been facing the wolves.
There was a roughly spoken curse and someone growled. Edward called after me, "Don't do this, Bella. You will never forgive yourself."
I heard the lub-lub of a heartbeat before I was within sight of the house, and I forced myself faster. Then, I caught a new scent, closer and different from the burning temptation.
It was Alice, I recognized it from waking, lilies and peach. I looked through the trees and saw her perched at the top of one close to the house. I knew instinctively that I couldn't hold her and the others at the same time, so I didn't try. I just ran.
When I was almost through the trees, I could see the source of the delicious smell, and I skidded to a halt again.
I knew those faces. It was the Chief and Frank. They stood on the porch of the house, Frank's hand raised to knock.
The sight of them doused me like cold water. I knew them. They were my friends, more important, they were humans with human lives. They had wives and friends that I cared for, too. Frank even had a child on the way.
I couldn't believe I had nearly attacked them, killed them. I would have murdered them.
"Bella," Alice said softly. I looked up at her, and she gestured me up.
I jumped to her side, perching in the tree beside her.
"You're okay, Bella," she said. "You can let the others go. They won't interfere now you've been tested."
"How have I been tested?" I asked.
She smiled at me. "You've made it here without attacking."
"I know them," I said. Would I have attacked if I hadn't? I wasn't sure. I didn't think so.
She laughed. It was softly enough that the sound had no chance of reaching the house.
The front door opened then, and Carlisle appeared on the threshold. "Chief Bennett," he said solemnly.
"Doctor Cullen," the Chief said. "This is Officer Green. May we come in to speak to you for a moment?"
"Of course," Carlisle said, stepping back and gesturing them into the house. They disappeared inside and Carlisle closed the door behind him, his eyes searching the trees and a small, uncertain smile on his face.
Alice shifted along the branch, and I slid along with her so I had a view through one of the large windows into the lounge.
The Chief took a seat on the couch, and Frank sat beside him.
"What can I do for you?" Carlisle asked.
"We're just making some inquiries about Bella," the chief said, his eyes sad but his expression neutral as he had trained it to be over long years in the service.
"Is there evidence of foul play?" Esme asked, a subtle note of worry in her voice.
"No," the Chief answered. "We just want to build a picture of what happened. When did you last see Bella?"
"That afternoon," Carlisle said. "She came to the house after work, and we had a coffee before she went for her swim. I understand she was training for a triathlon."
So, my death was drowning. I guessed that was as good a story as any. It explained the fact there would be no body for them to find. It would offer as much closure as was possible for Charlie and Renee.
A felt a wave of sadness for my parents. I would never see them again. Charlie would be under the wolves' protection as long as he lived, now, and Renee… I didn't think I could bear to see her and have the strength to walk away again.
Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be away from there, away from my friends, my family, and their conversation. Turning my back on the house, I began to jump from tree to tree, getting away from them and the reality they were pressing on me, the reality that my life as a human was over now for good.
So… That's Bella's first realization. I wanted there to be a bigger cost for her in this story than there was in canon. She gets forever, but there's a price. Not to mention the fact she didn't want it.
Until next time…
Simaril xxx
