AN: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy some fluffy Creek in celebration. Heads up there is a pov switch halfway through! This chapter is dedicated to the anon on tumbler who requested some more Kenny/Tweek!
Thursday is my one day off from the shop this week. My plans consisted wholly on sleeping all fucking day. So when a five foot four shit head by the name of Ruby Tucker stormed into my room at nine in the morning I was not happy.
"Craig get your ass out of bed. You're taking me and Karen to Denver today." Ruby shouted. She's all stomping feet and huffy breaths. I groan very loudly to make sure she realizes exactly how unhappy I am at this all. When my warm cocoon is ripped off my back I groan even louder, trying to be as annoying as possible. "Seriously Craig. Get up now! We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago."
"Shut up." I refuse to open my eyes. I reach out and blindly reach out to seize my blanket back. "What're you 'ven talking 'bout?"
"Mom told you a million times; you have to take me and Karen to Denver! Now!" My eyes snap open and I bolt up in bed. Ruby is staring at me with crossed arms and narrowed gray eyes. Her red tinted hair is pulled back into a high ponytail and tied with a black ribbon.
For a second I'm colossally confused. I'm really fucking tired and for a long moment I forgot that my sister is like thirteen or something. She's starting to look really fucking grown up. She's wearing a maroon shirt and a black leather jacket with black skinny jeans. Oh shit. She's even wearing black heeled boots. When did this happen, again?
Ruby is like the number one thing in the world that makes me feel old.
"I swear t'god that's not t'day." I mutter groggily. I rub my eyes and slowly sit up.
"Oh yes it fucking is. Get your ass out of bed and let's go Craig. Karen is waiting for us." Ruby storms out of the room and I'm left half-awake in my dim room. I slowly get out of bed and flip on the light.
I don't want to know what Ruby will do if I'm not ready in the next ten minutes. I only vaguely recall my mom saying something about Dever. Was that really today though? God damn it all.
Since working at the shop I've gotten pretty good at going through my morning routine while still being virtually half asleep. Unfortunately, since working at the shop I don't actually start waking up until I start getting caffeine into my system.
I'm actually starting to like coffee. Some are gross but others are actually pretty damn good. I guess working at a coffee shop for two weeks plays a big part of that.
I put absolutely no thought into what I'm doing. I throw on black jeans. I pull on a ratty old Red Racer t-shirt. Feed the guinea pigs. Pull on mismatched socks. Shove my feet into a pair of vans. Open the curtains. Grab the cleanest smelling blue hoody. Grab my phone. Put on my hat. BOOM. I'm done.
Easy as pie.
Tweek gets all angry when I say that. He gets kind of red, narrows his eyes and crosses his arms with a stomp of a foot. He insists pies are not easy to make so it's being deceitful when you declare something being as easy as pie.
I'm pulling my door open right as a small hand starts pounding on it. I open it to face Ruby staring at me while looking mildly impressed. She steps back so I can step into the hallway. "Good, you're actually kind of on time. Now let's go." I want to sass Ruby for expecting me to take a while but usually I do and I don't have the energy to argue.
I follow Ruby down the stairs to where my mom is waiting in the kitchen. She's holding an envelope full of money which is probably for Ruby to blow. They all claim Ruby 'earns' the money by helping out around the house. I know for a fact she does jack shit. Lucky for her my parents just like to spoil her because she's a girl and she's younger.
"Craig, don't tell me you forgot you're taking your sister to Denver today?" Mom asks as soon I step foot into the room. What do I get from my parents? A shit ton of criticism, that's what.
"No, mom. Ruby just forgot to wake me up." I open the pantry and grab a granola bar.
"That's bullshit. He forgot." Ruby pipes up, sounding way to happy.
"Craig, I reminded you last night." My mom crosses her arms and fixes me with a disapproving stare that only moms are capable of. "What did I say about you getting a job? I think it's great you're finally growing up but you can't just ignore your family. Family is priority. You have to contribute. We're not going to just let you bum off of us. Damn it Craig, seriously."
"Mom! I just slept in, okay? Drop it. Fuck. We're going, aren't we?"
"Craig Tucker watch your attitude." I groan and grab Ruby's wrist.
"Yep," the 'p' is popped and Ruby elbows me. "We're leaving!" I call as I throw open the front door. I grab the keys to our family's shitty old Chrysler Lebaron. The piece of shit is a good bump away from crumbling at the seams. We own a nicer Hyundai, which is more of a family car, but dad refuses to let me drive it.
"Bye ma!" Ruby calls out, all sickeningly sweet. She's such a little suck up.
I start up the car and it sputters to life. Ruby is already reaching forward to turn on her shitty pop stations. "We picking Karen up at her house?" I ask as I pull out of the drive way.
"Yes Craig."
"You wanna pick up coffee on our way out of town?"
"Coffee? You mean at Tweak Bros.?"
"Fuck Ruby, yes. At Tweak Bros."
"Does that mean I'll get to see Tweek?"
"Probably. What the fuck. Don't ask me things like that. It's creepy. Why do you like Tweek so much?" Thinking about Tweek makes me want to squirm. It brings back memories of last Sunday and walking home in the dark while holding hands. Nothing has really happened since then and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
"Tweek is adorable. Don't be a hater Craig. All the girls in my class love Tweek."
Wait- "What?" I make a left turn and then I'm driving over the rail road tracks a block before Kenny's house.
"Oh yeah, everyone secretly loves Tweek. Well actually it's not really a secret. He's like a little helpless puppy or something." Ruby pauses when she sees the look on my face. "Did you really not know that? He's like an idol to all thirteen year old South Park girls." Wait until I tell Tweek this…
"Just go get Karen." Ruby jumps out of the car and slams the door behind her. I pull out my cellphone so I can text Tweek.
Craig: Did you know you have like a thousand twelve year old stalkers?
I can't help but smile when I imagine Tweek's reaction.
Soon enough two tweens are climbing back into the car and we're making our way downtown. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket not once, but a total of seven times. The two girls are sitting in the backseat gossiping and when I park the car they're gone in seconds. I take my time turning off the car and getting out.
I pull out my phone and sure enough, right there is a notification for seven text messages, all from Tweek. I stifle a burst of laughter with my arm and shake my head. I climb onto the sidewalk and push my way into the shop. Ruby and Karen are at the front counter talking to Tweek who looks absolutely terrified.
I hear the word 'cute' or something coming from the girls and I try really hard not to laugh. When Tweek glances up and sees me, he looks so relieved he could cry. "Craig!" He shouts. I finally actually laugh as he runs around the counter and runs straight to me.
He grabs my sleeve and tugs on it. He glances over his shoulder at the girls who are whining about something. "Tweek you slacker. How dare you abandon your work station." I tease lightly. Tweek whimpers and pulls on my sleeve again.
"Craig! W-What did you mean t-that I have a t-thousand s-stalkers!" Tweek leans closer and sends the girls a paranoid look. "Are R-Ruby and K-Karen two of them?" It's only a mild surprise to me that he knows the girls names. After all one of them is my younger sister and the other is Kenny's little sister.
"Yes Tweek, be careful. They might kidnap and rape you. Twelve year old girls can be downright vicious like that."
"C-Craig." Tweek moans. He buries his face in his hands and I snicker. His head jolts up at the sound leaving my throat and he glares at me. "Y-You're messing w-with me! Craig!" He hits me on the shoulder pretty damn roughly. "D-Don't do that m-man. H-How am I supposed to know when I'm a-actually in danger?"
"Don't worry Tweek I'm pretty sure my sister won't kill you. She might kill me though, keep an eye on the obituary. I demand you bring my grave flowers at least weekly when she kills me. I think I want black roses. You know, black like my soul?" I try my best to wink as casually as possible.
"Not f-funny."
"No I'm serious. Ruby has it out for me. If they find my body tell the cops it is definitely her. Absolutely all her. Actually, Karen might be her accomplice but it's definitely mostly Ruby." Ruby overheard me and stomped her way over to us.
"Craig, don't be spouting bullshit, you jackass!" She flips me off and Tweek looks surprised. Ruby then turns her attention to Tweek with a smile. "Hey Tweek! Can you start making our drinks? We're going to Denver today! We gotta get going soon." The way Ruby talks to Tweek all sweet and innocent-y makes me want to vomit. That demon spawn is anything but sweet and innocent.
Tweek stares at Ruby for several long moments before nodding blankly. He gives me a quick glance before moving back behind the counter. I wait for Ruby and Karen to order their drinks before leaning against the counter. Tweek is making their drinks and doesn't look up at me as he speaks.
"Today is t-the first time I've s-seen Ruby in a really l-long time." Tweek points out. I hmm and watch as he continues to work. "I d-didn't recognize her at f-first. She's so b-big!"
"You know I'm pretty sure she's taller than you." Tweek looks up at me with a jerk.
"N-No way."
"Actually I'm positive she's taller than you." Tweek drops his face into his hands and groans. "You had it coming dude. You drink like a gallon of coffee a day. It's a miracle you're over five feet."
"Don't make f-fun of me… or e-else!"
"Or else what? You don't scare me Tweek."
"I-I'll… spit in y-your coffee!" I laughed. I just laughed so loudly people turned to stare at me. Tweek turned red and distracted himself by continuing to make the coffees. "W-What kind of c-coffee do you want anyways?" Tweek asks quietly after I've calmed down enough.
"Hmm, I thought I was getting a Tweek flavored Mocha?" Tweek 'eeped' and turned very, very red.
"C-Craig!" I laugh again and Tweek mutters something about giving me a boring old Vanilla Latte for that attitude. He's being really damn cute today. It's kind of too bad I'm not working today...
"So what are you gonna do all day while I'm away in Denver?" I ask to fill the silence.
"O-Oh yeah! My p-parents are actually g-gonna g-get home tonight. I t-told them we'd still open tomorrow but i-it'll be a short shift before they'll t-take over."
"Oh shit, really?" Tweek nodded. Does Tweek's parents coming home change everything? "Can you still go to the party tomorrow night?" I really hope I can get Tweek drunk. Just imagine…
"Nngh, I d-don't know. I c-can't go home l-late! They'll q-question me! A-And what if they s-smell the teenage mischief on me!"
"Really Tweek? Teenage mischief? I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. Anways, just stay the night at my place or Token's or whatever." Tweek is starting to look a little red again.
"O-Okay." Tweek caps the three coffees and slides them across the counter to me. "They're on the h-house, by the way."
"You sure?" Tweek nodded and I gather up the coffees into my arms. "Well I should probably get going. Keep texting me, k? Today is going to be sooo boring with those two dragging me around everywhere." Tweek smiled.
"O-Okay. Have fun! T-Try not to get k-killed by Ruby." Tweek giggles as I flip him off. I head towards the door and shout at Ruby and Karen to hurry up.
Pretty soon we're all back in the car and I don't really mind as much that I'm being dragged to Denver.
(Tweek POV)
Two of the lights in the shop went out and another one is flickering. The effect is terrifying. It feels like I've been tossed into a horror movie and I'm just waiting for my inevitable death. The cheeriest ukulele music I could find is playing on the sound system but it can't change the fact that I'm seriously going to die.
When my phone chimes I'm so startled I actually scream. I was in the middle of chugging a coffee too so now there's coffee on the floor to be cleaned. I had texted Craig to warn him about my soon to be death and I'm guessing he texted me back.
Craig: Tweek you're not going to die. I'll fix the lights tomorrow just hurry up and go home
Tweek: U DON'T KNOW THAT OH GOD TELL MY DAD I ALREADY ORDERD THE NEXT ORDER OF COFFEE GROUDNS THNKS
I like texting 's always on going and it's entertaining.
Craig: That's seriously going to be your dying wish?
Tweek: yes Craig plz don't forget
I get back to cleaning because while Craig's texts are a nice distraction, they can only do so much to mask the fact that I'm going to die. I might as well finish cleaning before I die.
It's too bad. This summer has taken a nice turn. I like hanging out with Craig. He makes me feel calm and kind of normal. He makes me feel okay to be Tweek Tweak. I like hanging out with Token and Clyde too, even if Clyde is kind of crazy. Are they my friends again?
I put away the mop and then with a relieved sigh I cross the room to the front door to lock it. It's reassuring that I've-
"HOLY MOTHER, JESUS CHRIST- I DON'T WANT TO D-DIE!"
Two hands are slapped onto the door, right in front of me and a pale face with a wide wicked grin is pressed against the glass. There is dark red smeared everywhere. I knew I was going to die…
It takes me a moment of total freak out to realize that all of this belongs to one Kenny McCormick who's laughing so hard I hope he actually dies because of it.
Kenny throws the door open and steps inside while continuing to laugh.
"Tweek! You complete my life! That was fucking beautiful. Absolutely marvelous; ten out of ten. Bravo! Encore!" Kenny closes the distance between us. He flings one of his arms over my shoulder and directs me towards the back door. I pull away so I can lock the front door and close the blinds.
"W-Why are you here Kenny?" The mischievous pervert puts his arm back around me.
"Why? Aren't you happy to see me, my little Twinkie?"
"Ngh, don't call me Twinkie." I mutter, pulling myself away from the blonde for the second time now. "And g-go ahead and leave while y-you're at it." I'm pretty sure Kenny didn't hear the second part.
"You see Tweek, I was hanging out with a bunch of swag fags. They're paying customers of course. And someone just passed me the bong and I was like wait- I haven't smoked with my little Tweekers in way too long. So I ditched the swag fags to come hang out with you! Are you honored?"
"No."
"No need to be shy, I know you're honored. Let's get going to your house to get hiiiiigh, aye?" Somehow in the span of time from the front door to back door Kenny managed to sneak his arm through mine once again. I pull away at the mention of smoking at my house.
"J-Jesus! No way m-man! My parents j-just got home! Like r-right now!" Kenny rolled his eyes at me and chuckled.
"Oh c'mon Tweek. I'm like ninety percent sure your parents are secret stoners anyways. Do you really think they'll care?"
"Y-You don't know that! Jesus C-Christ. What if they f-found us and s-sold me off to be a slave!"
"Tweek, I've heard your dad go off on his weird coffee rants. No sober man says that kind of shit."
"We're n-not smoking in my house!" I insist. I flip off all the lights and we step out into the brisk night air. I start locking the back door.
"Well can I at least come over? Mama Tweak probably misses the shit out of me."
"Only if y-you promise to never c-call my mom M-Mama Tweak again."
"Deal."
When we arrived at my house it's kind of weird to see all the lights on. I always get used to staying alone when my parents leave for an extended period of time. Kenny bounded up the front steps and entered my house before me.
I'm not sure if I love or hate the fact Kenny treats my home like his own. I mean, it's not like he even comes over that often…But besides Craig just recently coming over he's the only one that visits.
"We're home!" Kenny happily shouts. I slam the door behind me and lock it twice to ensure it's really and truly locked. I don't want to be the idiot who forgets to lock the door and gets killed because of it.
"We're in the kitchen!" My mom answers in response to Kenny's shout. Kenny and I walk into the kitchen where both my parents sit at the table drinking coffee.
"H-Hi mom, dad." I greet. I take a seat at the table while Kenny helps himself to the fridge.
"Tweek, Kenny. Good evening. Welcome home. Home is the warm embrace of freshly brewed coffee grounds, after all. What else could you ever want when you can smell the sweet aroma of home?" My dad says, looking up from the newspaper in his hands. He picks up his mug of coffee and holds it towards me with a knowing smile and a nod.
My dad manages to absolutely never make any sense; which is something I'm actually used to. Kenny shoots me a look that screams, 'I told you so', in reference to his earlier comment of them being stoners. I ignore Kenny. With the sight of my mother and father drinking coffee while my dad reads the newspaper, it feels like it should be eight in the morning. Instead it's nearly ten at night.
"Tweek, have some coffee, sweetie." My mom slides a coffee mug to me that I take without a moment of hesitation.
"T-Thanks."
"So Tweek, how's the shop? You like your new shift buddy?" For reasons unknown to me I feel my cheeks warm at the mention of Craig. Which reminds me… I haven't texted Craig back in quite a while.
Craig: I won't forget. I promise I guess. I'll tell the entire world your dying wish
Craig: You at home yet? I just got home and im already dying of boredom
Craig: DYING OF BOREDOM TWEEK AND :ITS ALL YOUR FAULT
Craig: Hello?
Craig: Shit dude. You dead?
Craig: tbh if you did actually die I'm just going to laugh because that's kind of ironic as shit or whatever
Craig: okay did that piss you off? Whoops. Sorry.
Craig: jk I'm not sorry
Craig: okay seriously. You alive?
Craig's texts made me laugh and I was so absorbed over reading them I didn't even realize Kenny was talking to my parents for me.
Tweek: yes I'm alive jesus. Kenny showed up at work and dragged me home. Thanks tho. I'm glad you'd just laugh if I died. I hope you do die of boredom so i can laugh at you instead
Tweek: that's not an actual way to die tho, right?
"Aw, that's fantastic sweetie!" My mom patting my arm forced me to focus back on that one thing called reality. My dad was smiling and nodding slowly with his eyes closed. Kenny was sitting next to me and looked really fucking smug. And then my mom was just smiling delightfully.
"W-What?"
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak, I think Tweek and I will be getting upstairs now! It was nice talking to you!" I'm continuing to voice my protests as Kenny grabs my arm and pulls me out of my chair. I barely manage to grab my mug of coffee before I'm being dragged up the stairs.
"W-Wait, what j-just happened?" Kenny just smiled at me and continued to lead me to my room.
"Don't worry your little gay heart Tweek."
"D-Don't call me gay. Ngh, s-seriously though! What d-did you tell my m-mom?" We made it to my room and I sat down on my bed as Kenny closed the door behind him.
"Oh nothing much. We were just talking about weed. I told her we'd be smoking up here and she thought it was cool. She even suggested her and Richard might come up here and join us." Kenny winked and I screech in horror.
"N-No!" Oh god. They knew. She's only pretending to think it's cool…. She's going to come in here tonight and kidnap me! Then they'll sell me to-
"You're right, that was a lie." I groan and cover my face with my hand. I set my coffee down and flop backwards onto my bed. Kenny sheds his backpack and places it onto the bed right next to me.
"W-What did you r-really tell her?"
"Oh, nothing much." Kenny sounded way too innocent. That's never a good thing. "I just told her about how much you loveee Craig."
"WHAT!" I bolt up in bed and stare at Kenny shocked. I feel my face warming up again and I cannot fathom why. Why does Craig make me feel so fucking… ugh. "I d-don't love Craig!"
"Oh chillax Tweek, it's fine. Don't get your panties in a twist." Kenny winked. He's unzipping his backpack and pulling out weed, a lighter, and a pipe. "If your panties do get in a twist though I can help you fix them. I'm just caring that way."
"Ngh, not funny. W-Wait, hey! I s-said no smoking i-in here!" Kenny always tries to get me riled up enough so that he can get his own way.
"Okay, how about this. We smoke and have a good time and relax or I'll tell your parents all about your infatuation with Craig."
"I'm not i-infatuated with Craig!"
"Denial isn't cute Tweek. Seriously though. I'm sharing my weed and my love with you. Just accept it and be happy." I groan and realize solemnly that there was no getting out of this one.
So I decided I'd just have to go with Kenny and hope for the best. To distract myself I pull out my phone to respond to Craig so I wouldn't over worry. Bentley always said the best thing to do was to stay busy…
Craig: Thanks Tweek, now you're making me feel like an asshole
Craig: Wait
Craig: You're hanging out with Fuck Face McCormick? Why?
Tweek: a) you are an asshole
Tweek: b) Kenny showed up at the shop and DRAGGED me home. Now he's making me smoke in my house WITH MY PARENTS HOME by threatening me
"Awww, you texting Craigy-poo?" Kenny teased from beside me. I ignore him as he smokes and purposely exhales right into my face. I stand up and open the windows and block all ventilation.
Craig: wtf He's threatening you?
Tweek: empty threats
Craig: want me to beat him up?
Tweek: WHAT NOO WHAT IF YOU DIE OR HE DIES OR SOMEONE DIES I COULD DIE NO
"TWEEK!" Kenny shouts, probably not for the first time. I glance at him and he's shoving the pipe in my face. "Stop texting your boyfriend and take the freaking pipe. Jesus Tweek."
"He's not my b-boyfriend!"
Craig: dude
Craig: im 90% joking. That sounds like waaay to much work. Im to busy chilling with Zig and Zag
Tweek: whos zig and zag?
"So you excited to party tomorrow?" Kenny suddenly asks as I exhale smoke very, very slowly.
"NO."
"Why? It'll be so fun. Don't worry Tweek, I promise nothing bad will happen. You've been at such a good place too lately. All because of Craig, huh?" Kenny winked and I blushed.
It's true though. I don't know if it's my new medication kicking in or if it's Craig but I've been feeling substantially better. My arms were nearly healed and I haven't felt the urge to return to the blade in way over a week. It's kind of a miracle…
"If I d-don't like the party I-I'm leaving."
"Oh c'mon. You have to give it a shot. At least stay for like an hour then decide."
"O-Okay, I guess. You o-owe me!" I glance back down at my phone, eagerly wanting to see Craig's answer.
Craig: Stripe 3 and 4. After Stripe 2 died I got two more and named them Stripe 3 and 4 but Ruby got pissed. She and mom threatened to get rid of them unless I named them something different
Tweek: so you named them zig and zag?
Craig: as close to Stripe as I could get. Clyde and Token laughed for a solid hour when I told them that
That was funny. I was starting to giggle. I didn't even notice Kenny leaning over my shoulder reading our conversation until he very loudly 'awed'. "You guys are the cutest couple ever." I elbow Kenny harshly and snatch the pipe away from him angrily.
"S-Shut up." This isn't the first time Kenny's teased me like this. Earlier this year when I was briefly friends with Michael he did this same thing. Kenny grabs my laptop off of the shelf by my bed and I watch as he opens up Netflix. "Y-You gonna stay the n-night?" I ask him, kind of hoping he'd say yes. I miss working with Kenny even if I really like working with Craig.
"If it is okay with you, I'd loveee too. Sharing a bed with my Twinkie is always my favorite." Kenny winks and I roll my eyes.
"Y-You know I can't sleep."
"OH! I didn't mean we'd be sharing the bed for sleeping." I gasped and elbowed Kenny again. He laughed hysterically. "Afterall, we're going to have a shitty horror movie marathon!" Kenny justified this by opening the horror section on Netflix. He gave me a look as I groaned and turned slightly red. "What were you thinking, you pervert?"
"S-Stop messing with me you a-ass!"
"Speaking of asses, how about we start with the Human Centipede? OH! OR even better the Human Centipede 2, OR Human Centipede 3! The third includes an entire prison. That's a lot of ass Tweek."
I groan very loudly and chose to ignore Kenny. I could feel the marijuana seeping its way into my head and it made me smile. I start to hold the piece out to Kenny for him to take. As he reaches for it I laugh maniacally and pull it back with a sudden jerk. I then proceeded to take another hit.
"Hey! You sneak! You really wana go there? Bring it ooon!" I scream as the laptop is forgotten and Kenny tackles me.
AN: I hate joking about rape but I feel like it's something the boys do :/
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Comment with all your guys' favorite head cannons for Craig/Ruby!
PS: Thanks for so many comments! I try to respond to them but then panic because I don't know what to say ;A; but I'm extremely thankful because they're all so lovely and make me want to cry. Seriously thank you everyon. You guys are all the cutest little things ever.
