A/N: particularly long come back chapter. I have planned to bring this back the past 6 months, and working on looking through house for all of the interactions Emma (Cameron) and House had, and significantly Emma like behavior that Cameron displayed. and separated those years she was in Princeton Plainsboro Hospital by segmented experiences. because I think that Emma is good at compartmentalizing. I use a lot of house dialogue. But there is bit of Emma's thought processes inputted. Thank for the few readers that reached out to me to remind me this story was there... S.K. Ps... Sorry I am a hard core SQ shipper, we are leaning that direction, though I may not even go to the romance of it... not on this story, this is after all the story of the years between giving Henry up and Seeing Henry again. Maybe I will write in this universe again... somewhere about the one year they were gone from SB.


House's girl


I changed my hair. I saw how House reacted to my hair color and dyed it the most boring shade of brown I could find. Even if it just faded within a few weeks. My blonde hair always seemed to peek through.

My princess blonde hair made people around me treat me like either a moron or some sort of privileged twit.

Now I'm in Princeton and I'm officially one of Dr House's Ducklings. That is what he calls us as part of his team. It was me, a black guy named Eric Foreman, and Dr. Robert Chase.

Chase is this Blonde Australian rich boy whose daddy made a phone call and made it on the team… literally the Reason I changed my hair. He is also a talented surgeon so he kinda belongs with us.

Forman was a neurologist. Brilliant. Graduated at the top of his class at Johns Hopkins.

The shit that got to me, was while out on one of our home visits. Forman told me that none of that mattered. He got hired because he was once arrested for breaking into someone's home.

I panicked… his records were sealed. My records are also sealed. What was the difference? My name… still, why was I there?

The next day I sat in his office. Just… I needed to talk to him, to know why I was even here if someone as talented as Forman was only here because of his criminal record.

When he walked in, I got up and just asked him.

"Why did you hire me?"

He hardly acknowledged me and just sat at his desk. "Does it matter?"

I shrugged and stood in front of his desk. "Kinda hard to work for a guy who doesn't respect you."

"Why?"

"Is that rhetorical?" I asked incredulously.

House shrugged. "No, it just seems that way because you can't think of an answer. Does it make a difference why I think I'm a jerk? The only thing that matters is what you think. Can you do the job?

"You hired a black guy because he had a juvenile record."

"No, it wasn't a racial thing," he said sitting back to look at me. "I didn't see a black guy. I just saw a doctor…with a juvenile record. I hired Chase 'cause his dad made a phone call. I hired you because you are extremely pretty."

I stopped short and looked at him incredulously. "You hired me to get into my pants?!"

"I can't believe that that would shock you. It's also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby."

I scoffed, "I was at the top of my class."

"But not THE top."

"I did an internship at the Mayo Clinic."

"Yes, you were a very good applicant."

"But not the best?"

"Would that upset you, really, to think that you were hired because of some genetic gift of beauty not some genetic gift of intelligence?"

I took offense to that. "I worked very hard to get where I am."

"But you didn't have to. "he got up to go again saying, "people choose the paths that gain them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's a law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You could have married rich, could have been a model, you could have just shown up and people would have given you stuff. Lots of stuff, but you didn't, you worked your stunning little ass off."

"Am I supposed to be flattered?"

"Gorgeous women do not go to medical school. Unless they're as damaged as they are beautiful. Were you abused by a family member?"

yes

"No!"

"Sexually assaulted?"

Yes

"No."

"But you are damaged, aren't you?" He looks at me. Right through me. How can he tell? I hesitated a moment

My pager saved me.

"I have to go." I said and walked away. Thus began my utter fascination with the man.


I hung back from our differential meeting, as the other guys walked away one morning. I had found something delicious that I just knew would get me in house's good graces. House was opening up the wrapper, munching into a sandwich. Sure it was weird I was kinda staring. "Don't worry – no pickles." he stated taking a bite.

"Happy birthday." I said

House acted dumb and said, "OK… whose?"

I rolled my eyes and came close to him. "I was going through your mail, and it was on a form. Happy birthday."

"Oh." he stated… he had seriously forgotten. He just sat back down on his chair and kinda looked dumbfounded. I decided I was going to do something fun for him.

I walked into House's office later that day as he was typing away on his computer; he noticed her and stopped

"You really didn't know." I stated letting him know that I did indeed realize that he hadn't remembered.

"No. I didn't. And frankly I'm angry. Which I'm guessing is the correct response. 'Course I'll know better once you tell me what you're talking about."

"Your birthday."

"Oh. Anger was a bad guess." he said bemused. "Well, normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the earth has circled the sun one more time. I really didn't think it was gonna make it this year, but darn it, if it wasn't the Little Planet That Could all over again."

"It's a birthday," I said with a shrug. "It's an excuse to be happy. You think that's lame?"

"Why are you here?" he questioned. "To buy me a pony?"

"I'm just waiting for the surgery."

"Yeah well, go scrub in." He groused and we both headed to the operating room.

I didn't do anything after that. I just let it go… kind of. I was a little girl with a crush. I felt it about as deeply as I had for Neil. and the feeling was beginning to drive me insane.


Eventually I let him know me a little better. One night after a really tough day I went to the lab for some alone time. I allowed tears to slip out of my eyes. I mean. It was hard to be with all these guys, and their stupid insensitivity. I hadn't grown into my adulthood yet. I was still just this hurt little girl that had lived in too many foster homes to count. Had lost her love and the people she considered family.

I had been feeling sorry for myself, and really just felt lonely. It was a rare moment of weakness that I had yet allowed time and hardness to squash.

House walked up behind me that night, "Mixing up some margaritas? Mines a double, Senorita. That's Portuguese, you know."

"Spanish." I corrected quietly.

"Uh-oh. What's going on?"

"I'm re-calibrating the centrifuge." I said taking a deep breath as I stuck the cylinder inside the centrifuge. The machine had been spinning a little off and it wasn't separating the blood cells appropriately.

The thing was, I was crying pretty intensely. I was trying to keep the sob from my voice. I had to stop the tears. But I didn't turn to face him. This patient had gotten to me.

"Turn around. He commanded. I sighed and turned to face him. "It's a very sad thing, an un-calibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too."

"I'm not crying."

"Ok." He said, and just left it there. He stopped talking so long that I felt the need to fill in the silence.

"I told the husband he was a jerk." I said as a form of explanation.

" Why?"

I hesitated, I mean why should I share this part of me. "When I was in college, I… I fell in love, and I got married. And…"

"At that age the chances of a marriage lasting-"

"It lasted six months." I interrupted. "He had a Glioma. The cancer metastasized. There was nothing they could do. I was 21, and… I watched my husband die."

"I'm sorry... But that's not the whole story." He stated looking at me with his analytical eye. It made me a little nervous, like he could see everything that was broken in me. And I loved him and hated him for that. "It's a symptom, not your illness. The Glioma would have been diagnosed at least a year before his death, you knew he was dying when you married him. Must have been when you first met him. And you married him anyway. You can't be that good a person and well adjusted."

"Why?"

"Because, you wind up crying over centrifuges."

"Or hating people." I groused, then House' pager beeped. He handed it to me. Our patient was Seizing.


I waited for him at his office one day. We had a patient that needed a kidney transplant. And we just were hitting walls at every turn. He needed the kidney, his wife was a match, but she was pregnant. I learned a lot about how House saw relationships. Sometimes our conversations enlightened me and made me like him and hate him at the same time.

He walked into his office that day, I looked up at him. "Foreman says we've got a problem with the transplant." I said to him.

House walked over to the bookshelf and searched it for something. I don't know what. "If she terminates the pregnancy," He said, "he's not going to let himself die on principle."

I paused and looked over at House. I didn't know that I would have given my son up for Neal… or Jay for that matter. " …Would you give up a baby for someone you love?"

House turned around and gave me a piercing look. "Please tell me I don't have to decide." disappointed yet again. "Depends, how long would they live?"

"Is this a pragmatic question for you?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Fifty years, no problem." he said with a shrug. "Six months, I say let 'em die. Well, I've actually given this a lot of thought, and my personal tipping point is seven years, eight months, and 14 days."

"I couldn't do it." I whispered.

"You found religion?" he asked.

"Do you have to be religious to believe a fetus is a life?" I asked standing and heading for the door.

"There seems to be a correlation." I looked away from him. He watched me for a moment then his eyes started darting around the room. "I'm, uh…Do you like monster trucks?" He asked and I found myself looking back at him in surprise.

"…I don't know what they are." of course I know what they were… I just wanted to know why he was asking.

"…Right." He said looking down at his hands. "I got two night."

I smirked, "You asking me to go with you?"

"Sure. Sounds good." He said awkwardly.

"Like a…date?" I asked.

"Exactly. Except for the "date" part." He said and turned away quickly. Was he embarrassed? "Forget it." he said and walked away as fast as his messed up leg would allow to sit behind his desk.

"No, I-I was gonna go to the oncology dinner…" I stated.

"'Course, you have to hear Wilson's lecture." He said.

"No. I just found out he canceled like, two weeks ago." I said leaning against the door frame. House's expression changed to shock and leaned back in the chair."So…what do we wear?"

The "date" was kinda fun. I hadn't seen Monster Trucks since I was a kid and one of the best foster homes the dad took me to see the trucks. House and I walked around eating cotton candy after the show. Just talking and I thought… yeah he's finally opening up to me. "That was amazing!"

"I'm telling you, Gravedigger never disappoints." He said with a smile on his face.

A couple walked by with their arms around each other. And I had a thought. "You ever been married?"

"Well now," He said, "let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal." He walked ahead for a while without saying anything. "I lived with someone for a while…" he paused and looked down at our cotton candy. "You gonna finish that?"

I handed him my cone and snatched it back playfully and walked away laughing. He managed to get a little piece. But that was the only sugar he was ever gonna get from me. "I'll race you to the car!"


A few weeks later the Majority stock of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Mr. Vogler had caused a stir and began the budget cut process. But Of course House's team wasted the most money… so one of us had to go. I had a lot of thinking to do. I had to figure out whether I wanted to fight for my position on the diagnostics team.

I sat in his office thinking, and House walked in the door. "They just stopped Carly's heart. And your dumb patient –" I started.

"They're all –" He interrupted me then interrupted himself as he realized what I meant. "oh, the guy who can't talk."

"Mr. Van Der Meer, he scheduled an appointment to see you."

"Oooh, goody."

I turned to leave then stopped myself and turned to face him again. "I wanted you to know Chase is worried you're going to fire him."

"It's bad enough that screw-ups cost lives." he said with a shrug. He sat down at his desk and played with his cane. "Now we've got Vogler, screw-ups cost jobs." He leaned forward, "I want Chase scared. I want him doing everything he can to protect his job."

I had been reading some self help books to help me assert myself with the Boys. I was tired of finding myself crying to centrifuges. These Men were accomplished but so was I. I sighed, "Dr. House, if you were in his position wouldn't you be more likely to perform well if you were reassured and –"

"Oh, will you stop it with the book! Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're manipulating everyone." He yelled at me.

"People… dismiss me. Because I'm a woman," I said back to him. "because I'm pretty, because I'm not aggressive. My opinions shouldn't be rejected just because people don't like me."

"They like you." he said with his arms wide open. "Everyone likes you." He started to walk away from me. I don't believe that he liked me at all.

"Do you?" I asked, he paused and stared at me blankly. So I pushed. "I have to know."

He turned away from me. "No."

"Okay." I said quietly and walked away in a different direction.


Later that day, at the MRI, I sat with Chase in the monitoring room. I glanced at him, then back at the monitor. "Did House seem weird to you?"

"Are you expecting him to be weird?" He asked absently.

"We spoke about how we felt." I mentioned it casually.

"You told him you liked him?"

I scoffed, "No, of course not."

"What are you talking about, then?"

I shrugged, "I asked him if he liked me."

Chase furrowed his brow, "Why would you do that?"

"Because I like him."

He turned to face me in shock. "You like him, like him?"

"Doesn't matter," I said with a shrug. "He doesn't like me."

"Hey, he doesn't like anybody." He said with a shrug. "And nobody likes him."

Later that day, I sat in the lab with Foreman. We were searching for the toxins that could be poisoning our patient.

"Cross off hemlock." I said switching slides.

"You thought he was being poisoned by hemlock?" Foreman asked. "Dr. Euripides tell you to check for that?"

"Grows wild by the highways out here."

He paused for a few minutes, "How much do you like House?" Forman asked.

I groaned, "Chase has a big mouth."

"Yeah. He's probably the one who ratted to Vogler."

"I don't think that he would -" I started.

"Does it hurt when you're with House? Little pain in the tummy, but it sort of feels good, too?" he teases.

"I don't have the right to show interest in someone?"

"You absolutely do," He stated with a chuckle, "and I absolutely have the right to humiliate you for it."

Just then, House walked into the Lab. "Anything?"

"White blood count's low;" Forman said, "probably a result of the illness, nothing to connect to the liver."

"Is he a smoker?" House asked.

"Let me check." I said and pulled up the chest x-ray.

House looked at it with his analytical eye. "Early signs of emphysema. He's been smoking at least a dozen years."

I was impressed, "18. You got that from the white count?"

"Nope, got that from the chest x-ray." He said coming to look over my shoulder. "White count just tells me he's quitting." I squirmed feeling his closeness to me. His breath gazing at the back of my neck.

"Two weeks ago." I confirmed. He nodded and left the room.

"How's your tummy?" Foreman teased.

I smirked, "Flat and taut."


While I was a doctor, I had the most interesting conversations in the Pathology lab. The first time I quit the Diagnostic team and Princeton Plainsboro, I was in the Pathology lab looking into a microscope. Dr. House walked in behind me and shivered. I know it was to tease me but I felt it. "Brrrr. Icy. Definitely think twice before correcting one of your mistakes again."

I didn't look up, I wasn't going to dignify this with a fired Chase, I was pissed because of some bogus mistake. "Correct all you want. Of course, it's a bit more productive if there's an actual mistake."

"Right, I always forget that part."

I turned to face him. I rose to the bait. "I gave her the heparin, which means the necrosis is not a reaction to the warfarin, which is probably why she's not responding to your treatment."

"Yet…" he paused, "If you didn't screw up, then what is it? You don't have an answer."

"Yet." I answered through gritted teeth.

"When you come up with something, let me know. I'll be in the clinic, warming up."

I stood and walked over toward dhim, "I'm the only one who's always stood behind you when you've screwed up."

"Why? Why would you support someone who screws up?"

"Because I'm not insanely insecure. And because I can actually trust in another human being and I am not an angry, misanthropic son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry, you said you weren't angry. Who would you fire?"

"No one.'

"Not an option." he answered and began to walk away.

"If everyone took a pay cut and put in a few more hours we could all stay for the same amount of money." I suggested.

He stopped to look back at me. "Figures you'd try and come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn't work that way just 'cause you want it to."

"Figures you'd stall and refuse to deal with the issue." I thew back at him. "Problem is, the world doesn't go away just because you want it to." He looks at me for a couple of seconds and leaves. I go back to my microscope. That was when I decided to quit.


I went to his office later that night. He was sitting at his desk looking though some pictures. "Can we talk?"

"What, no roses, no chocolates?" He said before looking up at me. He sat back in his chair. "If you're here to apologize –"

"I'm not here to apologize." I interrupted.

"Uh-oh, that means you're here for something more complicated." he said, popping one of those insidious little vicodin.

"Do you want to fire me?" I asked.

"Yes. I was just waiting for an excuse. Thank God Vogler came along. Phew!"

"It's the only reason I can think of that you're insisting that I made a mistake."

"Really? Because there is another explanation." he said standing "Perhaps not as much fun as your Freudian analysis, but maybe you actually made a mistake."

"You're doing this because you can't deal with your feelings for me."

"I believe that you are the only one to express feelings." He walked closer to me as he continued to talk. "And if we're going to look at this from a first-year psych point-of-view, maybe you want me to fire you. Maybe that's why you're acting weird. You –"

"You're the one being different!" I said squaring off with him. "You're always pushing things, pushing the rules, pushing us, but not this time. You just jumped on this idea like a life raft. Not one question about what else it could be, no riding us for other answers."

"I have the answer."

"Then why aren't you watching TV? Or playing your damn Game Boy, or whatever else you have fun doing by yourself?" I accuse, "Maybe I should just quit. Make it easy for everyone."

"Maybe you should." I stepped backward a few steps then turned and slammed his office door.


Of course I headed to the lab. Is pent a couple of hours there, and eventually House walked in. I looked over at him. I was no longer angry at him. I had decided that this was just something I had to live with. My stupid attraction to him.

But he just looked at me and didn't say anything so I stopped what I was doing and turned to face him. "What's up?"

"You like me. Why?"

I sighed and turned back to my work. "That's kind of a sad question."

"Just trying to figure out what makes you tick. I am not warm and fuzzy and you are basically a stuffed animal made by grandma."

I laughed… if he only knew. "I don't think that's why you're asking. I think it's because of the speech."

"Oh God, don't try and pick me apart." He muttered.

"Then why are you asking?" I asked standing and walking back toward him. "What do you want to hear?"

He looked at me for a long moment then walked away from me. I smirked . I couldn't believe he had actually come to me for clarification of my feelings. What did that mean?


Later I went to Cherrybrooke to listen to his speech. I had to convince myself that I was crazy for feeling how I felt about this man. Then he did the most… unselfish thing. He called Vogler out in front of an audience. He decided not to sell out just so he could keep his team together.

So I decided I was going to sacrifice myself. For him to keep being his houseness. I walked up to the door of his apartment. I could hear the sound of a piano playing behind the door. I took a deep breath to steel myself, and I knocked.

I could hear his unsteady gait approaching the door. He paused and then opened the door fully. And stepped back to let me in. he turned and walked away saying. "I'm sorry. I should have taken a couple of extra Vicodin and just held my nose."

I nodded muttering. "I'm guessing you did take a couple extra Vicodin.

"True."

I exhaled

"You don't need to worry about firing anyone." I said after a breath, "I'm leaving."

" Why?" He thought turning to face me. "Is this another noble, self-sacrificing gesture? You trying to protect Foreman?"

"No"

Not at all..

"So this is just, "Don't fire me, I quit." He asked.

I shrugged noncommittally. The only way he was going to understand this is if I made it very clear and logical. " I'm protecting myself." I walked closer to him, "You asked me why I like you. You're abrasive and rude, but I figured everything you do, you do it to help people. But I was wrong." I sighed and turned to look at how this man lived. He was so lonely and impersonal I don't want to live this way. "You do it because it's right." there are tears behind my eyes now. I didn't want to cry in front of him.

I extended my hand to House. He just stared at it so I took it back. "There are only two ways I can deal with things. One is in my control. That's to leave." He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again.. I added and turned to walk out of his apartment, "Goodbye, House." I said as I walked out of the door.


I stayed away for two weeks and I was on my treadmill at a full run one morning when there was a knock at my door. I slowed the treadmill down little by little and finally hopped off the contraption. I picked up my towel and dried off as I walked toward my door.

I don't think I was exactly shocked when house was standing there. Nether was I disappointed. "I saw the light on." He said to me in greeting.

I didn't let him in. I just stood there watching. "It's daytime."

" Yeah, it's a figure of speech. Always so literal." he joked then it was like he didn't know exactly what to say. So I looked to the object he had used to knock on my door with and attempted.

"Got a new cane."

"Yeah. Guy in the store said it was slimming." he said then demonstrated with his hand "Vertical stripe…"

I rolled my eyes "Why are you here?"

"Vogler is dead." He deadpanned. My eyes widened in shock.

"What?" I asked, "What happened?"

"Again with the literal translation." He said with a roll of his eyes. "Vogler the idea, Mr. Destructo, Mr. Moneybags, bow down before me; he is gone from the hospital, so things can go back to the way they were."

I folded my arms in front of me and leaned against the doorframe. "The way they were was kind of weird."

"Weird works for me." he said with a shrug.

"What are you saying?" I asked, my annoyance showing. "Literally?"

"I want you to come back." he said plainly.

I shook my head, "Why?" His pager went off and he ignored it. I could already guess something big was happening. I wanted to go back but I needed to get something out of this. I just didn't know what yet.

"Please unclench." he said when he saw my reaction to his pager. "You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench, and then it's the whole thing…"

"Could you look at your pager?" I ask and he does. He stiffens up. It was big, my super power was screaming at me now.

"It's no big deal, some sort of epidemic. Not my area." Now I understood why he was trying so hard. He really needed an epidemiologist on his side.

"You should go, it's important."

"What I'm doing now is important." He insisted.

I needed to hear him say it. He needed my expertise, or even that he actually wanted me I don't know I wanted to be wanted and I wanted it not to phase me. "Why do you want me back?" I asked

"Because you're a good doctor."

Never expected that.

"That's it?" I asked

"That's not enough?" it really was, but I wanted to hear the man grovel for me. I wanted to see how far he would go for me to come back.

"Not for me." I stated stepping back into my apartment. "Go deal with your plague." Then I closed the door and locked it behind me. My heart pounded afterward. As I leaned up against the door. I needed to make him work for this, but I knew I was going to come back. I just needed him to see me. The real me.. Well… the real Allison, though he is the only person that could see through my bullshit. Emma needed to come out to play soon.

Later that night I saw on the news thatPrinston Plainsboro had been in shambles with this Meningitis epidemic. Everyone was quarantined. It had to have been a madhouse. But I missed it so much. As I turned off my TV, there was another knock on the door. With the same wooden item I bet.

I sighed and headed for the door and opened it up. "I don't want to interview anyone else."

I quirked a brow, "You're interviewing? I thought you'd just have them send a headshot along with their CV."

"Hah." He said with his awkward head bob. I tries to look around me and into my apartment. "That's good. And why I need you around. To keep me in my place."

"I can't come back, I told you that." I said setting up for getting my way.

"Wasn't listening."

"Right."

"You want me to listen to you more?" He offered "I can do that."

Yes and...

"Right…" I folded my arms sin defiance. He had to give me a little more. "I already accepted a position somewhere else."

Lets see how sophisticated his bullshit-o-meter is.

"With who?" he asked his eyes narrowing.

Come on, guess...

"Yule, at Jefferson." My interview was the next day. I was sure that I would have that job by the end of that interview.

"Unaccept it." he said.

Oof your bullshit-o-meter is busted. Alright, lets see what I can get out of this?

"Why?"

"Because Yule is boring. He's pedantic and preachy. Because he's short. Because I want you to come back." he listed off.

nice...and?

"Not good enough." I responded.

"Want more money?" He began to offer. "A car allowance, better parking space?"

Yes… uhuh… and?

"Dinner." I added because he was just so adorable when he was groveling. "And not just a meal between two colleagues. A date." I set my terms.

"You'll come back to work if I go out on a date with you?" He asked dumbfounded.

"Yes, and all that other stuff you mentioned." I answered.

He took a moment to think about it. Then he nodded and extended his hand.

"Okay, it's a deal." He said and I took his hand and we shook on it.

"See you tomorrow morning." I said with a smirk straightening up at the door.

"Don't be late." he said as he turned to leave.

"I won't." I said and closed the door behind him. I grinned so hard I thought my face would split in two. I had a date with house. Finally.


The next day I walked into the Diagnostic office. Chase and Foreman were playing Catch with House's ball when I arrived. "So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit." Chase who was facing away from me said as he threw the ball to Foreman

"Lame." Foreman said as he lobbed it back toward Chase but I caught it instead.

"Hey!" Chase said in surprise.

"Yo!" Forman said at the same time with a smile on his face. He came to me and gave me a hug so tight I was glad I came back.

"What are you doing here?" Chase asked as we disengaged from the hug.

"I work here." I answered.

"What, here in this office?" he said with a smirk.

I Nodded, "House practically begged me to come back."

"Please tell me you took him to the cleaners," Foreman asked.

I shrugged, "well… got quite a few perks."

"Didn't you take issue with the way he is?" Chase inquired. "Then why'd you do it?"

"Cause this is the happiest place on Earth." House said as he entered the Diagnostics office, followed by Dr. Wilson. "21-year-old male, comes in with grinding of the teeth."


We all just went on as if i hadn't been gone. We did the differentials and then headed out to run the test just like always. As soon as the three of us were out in the hallway, Chase said, "What perks?"

"Nothing you'd be interested in.:" I answered.

"So it's not money, then?" Forman interjected. "Office space, insurance, parking… anything he could offer you, we'd be interested in."

"Not this," I chuckled, "He agreed to go on a date with me."

They looked at each other incredulously, "A date?" Foreman sputtered, "Date, dinner and a movie, naked and sweaty date?"

"He only committed to the first two." I answered.

"He's so, he's so old!" Chase said disgustedly.

I smirked and stopped a moment to face him. "And you're so young." I patted his cheek and continued to the patient room.

"It's a big mistake." Foreman warned.

"It's my boss. I'm allowed to sexually harass my boss." I shrugged. "I'll arrange for the EMG," Then I turned to chase. "You want to set up the angiograma? and Foreman, you get the blood samples, patient history, patient consent?" and walked away.

Before I turned the corner I heard Foreman say to chase. "Like watching an accident about to happen."

And I laughed.


I didn't get a moment's peace that day. This patient was a doozie so I didn't get to talk to House about our plans at all. Finally we were back in the diagnostics office. New differentials. I thought maybe right after would be my chance to talk about it.

"Oh yeah, we've all got perfect 20-20 hindsight." House said, and my chance to talk to him was coming as Chase and Foreman headed for the door. "Get a hold of Main in vascular, see if his surgical dance card is free for tomorrow."

I cleared my throat, and he stopped short turning to me. "About tomorrow night."

"You couldn't keep your mouth shut." He accused.

"I didn't see any reason to. Where are we going?" I asked, "I want to make sure I dress appropriately."

"That would be army boots and t-shirt." he sat at his desk chair in that cocky way he does. "It's the county paintball tourney. First prize is fifty bucks; I'll split it with you if you hold your end up."

"I'm not sure if that was the deal." I said afraid that really was his idea of a date.

"Relax. I made a reservation at Café Spiletto." He stated tossing his ball in the air. He paused and looked at me, "Regarding wardrobe: are you too young to remember spandex?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'll figure something out."


I was sitting at my desk later that evening trying to look at the differentials, and Wilson walked into House's office. He spotted me through the glass and walked into the diagnostics room, "Hi. Are you, uh, can we talk?"

I rolled my eyes, "Gee, I wonder what this is going to be about."

"I just want to make sure no one gets hurt." He stated, My brow furrowed.

"I will be fine. Everybody's acting like I'm going out with Jack the Ripper." I stated turning back to my paperwork.

"Oh, it's not you I'm worried about." I looked back at him, "It's been a long time since he opened up to someone, and I… you better be absolutely sure you want this because if he opens up again and gets hurt, I don't think there's going to be a next time."

I was floored. Really? That man could take care of himself. This was all really one sided. "You're worried I'm going to break his heart?"


At dinner the next night had finally come. Finally I had House where I wanted him. I needed this whether it would be the start of something or closure all together. He brought me a corsage. Really cute. He was being a gentleman. "It's beautiful." I said as he put it on me. Then I looked him over." And you look very handsome."

"Thank you." He stated and pulled my chair out.

I took a seat and sighed with a smile. "I've always loved this restaurant."

"Yeah. It's changed a lot since the last time I was here. It used to be a strip joint." I laughed at this. Because, well it was funny. "Nice earrings." He complimented me.

"Thank you." I stated with a smile.

"Nice shoes." He stated and now this was laying it on thick. "Comfortable?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not expecting you to be someone you're not."

"We're in a restaurant, we're dressed up, we're eating." House said, "If not small talk, what is there?" There was a seriously pregnant pause. There was nothing but medicine between us. No, I had to make this work.

I set down the wine list and looked at him. "According to Freud, and I'm paraphrasing, instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it. Like an eighth-grade boy punching a girl."

"I treat you like garbage, so I must really like you." He stated Given your Freudian theory, what does it mean if I start being nice to you?

I shrugged with a slight smirk. "That you're getting in touch with your feelings."

"Hmm." He said with a sip of his drink.. "So there's absolutely nothing I can do to make you think that I don't like you."

I chuckled slightly. I must be the most bull headed person in the world, but there really wasn't. I just n\knew that he liked me. He hired me because of my looks. Wel he should do something about it. Right? "Sorry, no. I have one evening with you, one chance, and I don't want to waste it talking about what wines you like or what movies you hate. I want to know how you feel about me."

House paused contemplating his words for once. " You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect." He leaned forward and looked at me intently as he spoke. "That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don't love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case. That's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice. What I am is what you need. I'm damaged." Then he picked up his menu and hid behind it. I was struck by his words.

My entire life was one of rejection, and me holding on to the one person place or thing that will allow me to take care of it. I didn't need it to love me back, I just needed it to let me be with them. No I was not okay with being alone, even if being alone was what I excelled at. Leave it to that sadist to bring that up the one time I am giving him a shot at being with me.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Wilson had been worried for House, but I had been the one to leave broken hearted. But I had to get myself together. I had survived worse than this. Allison was vulnerable… She had Let Jay soften her. So I decided. Emma needed to come back. I was going to stop hiding. Of course… I had to prepare myself for my return.


The next morning we barely looked at each other. I went on with my daily tasks and stationed myself at my station in the lab. Chase and Foreman found me there. "You look like shit." Foreman said sitting next to me. I huffed and shook my head.

"Well?" Chase said

I looked up at him. "Well what?"

"Did ye hurt you?" Chase said angrily.

"What? NO!" I said looking away, "the wine. Something made my eyes puffy."

" Yeah. Crying in your pillow can do that." Forman scoffed.

I rolled my eyes, "It was the wine. We had a nice, candid conversation."

"No snide comments?" Foreman asked skeptically.

I shrugged, "I guess, when we talked about you guys."

"You two going to do dinner again?" The neurologist asked.

"I don't know." I stated and both Chase and Foreman gave me incredulous looks. Like I was a completely different person all of a sudden. And I suppose I was, because I was never going to let anyone in like that again.