"What? Whaddya mean pregnant?" He caught her as she started to sway. "Kim, talk to me." She was catatonic as he led her inside, pushing the door closed with his foot, he tossed the bag on the table and took her to the couch before he lost his grip. Sitting her down he perched on the coffee table and reached for her hands.
Kim jumped and reefed them away. "Adam?"
"Hey, it's okay. It's okay."
"What?"
"Kim, take a breath." He was worried about her; he was worried about himself. The knot in his chest was making it hard to focus. "It's okay."
"How?"
"How what? How did I get here? How did you get pregnant?"
"I need to go." Kim made to get up but her legs wobbled and Adam made her sit again.
"Okay Kim, stay here. I'll get you something to drink. Take a moment and then talk to me okay?" He waited until she nodded. Quickly he found a glass and filled it from the jug in the fridge, he at least remembered that she always kept cold water in the fridge, she had an aversion to tap water. "Here."
Her hands shook as she took it from his hand and it was a comfort that Adam rested his hands on her knees while she took a few sips. "So?"
"God Adam, I don't know. Maybe I am just freaking out over nothing."
"Maybe." He didn't even realise he was rubbing his thumbs over her leg until he looked down briefly. "Are you sure?"
"No, not I'm not sure. It's not like…" She gulped at the air. "No plans, I don't know. I thought it was food poisoning and then I kinda realised….ya know. It didn't happen, it hasn't happened for a while."
"What hasn't happened?"
Kim cocked her head to the side. He could be so man dumb sometimes, although to be fair she wasn't making sense at all. "Well sex obviously and you know, my period. Maybe it's stress. Don't worry about it." She attempted to push it out of her mind. "I'm just freaking out. It's stupid. I'll be fine."
Adam ignored her, he wasn't just going to nod and say okay and walk out of there despite his every nerve telling him to run. He knew where this was going for him and in the blink of an eye he was in it up to his neck. Even if she was freaking out he knew it would eat away at her if she didn't know. Kim never did well with the unknown or surprises. "Better be safe than sorry, you need to take a test. There's one you can get from a pharmacy right? There's a CVS just up the road, I can go grab you one."
"Why are you being so calm?"
"Externally calm, internally freaking the fuck out."
Kim smiled a little ruefully. "I've got the internal and external thing perfectly in sync."
Adam grabbed his keys and wallet and shot down to the CVS and grabbed one of each of the three different tests on the shelf. Each one said they were the most accurate and that's what he needed, numbers and certainty. Never in a million years did he think he'd be here, buying pregnancy tests for a baby that wasn't even his and the problem with that was it wasn't his baby but it was for the woman who he just couldn't stop loving. This was gut wrenching though. He felt in knots but he pushed through, it was instinctive.
His knew one of his biggest flaws was his impulsiveness. He always jumped in feet first and then couldn't or wouldn't back out. He leapt because she needed help and because, let's face it he was still in love with her. If he turned his back on her now he was no better than everyone else that had turned his back on him, and that included her.
No matter how he tried to rationalise it she had let him down. Even to this day he shouldered the blame for everything when it wasn't all his fault and he let people think it was because it was easier. Being a female cop it was far too easy to get a reputation that you didn't deserve and would never shake. Fair? Not even close to being fair, but it was what is was and he wasn't going to contribute to that. His pride was hurt but he sucked it up because if that meant she didn't bare the blame on top of all the other stuff that swirled around about her actions then so be it.
And now he was holding her hand waiting for a pregnancy test result for a baby that wasn't his.
He was fucked.
Kim could sense his unease, even through her rampant anxiety. "Why are you here?"
"Because you need someone and I am your someone right now."
"But Adam…."
He silenced her with a look. "Just accept it for what it is, you've got bigger things to worry about."
"It's taking my mind off what's going on just over there." She pointed to the bathroom. Inside that tiny room right now was an innocuous piece of plastic that held the key to her entire future.
"Fair point." Adam nodded, checking his watch. They had thirty more seconds to wait. "So, Blair yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What are you going to do?"
"Oh God Adam, I don't know. I haven't…." she just couldn't find the words. "I just…." When the alarm went off she jumped out of her skin.
"You want me to?"
"No, I'll do it." Pushing herself up off the bed she took the few shaky steps she needed to cross the floor to the bathroom.
Adam didn't watch her; he just closed his eyes. He wouldn't call it praying, that wasn't his thing but he had hope. For what he wasn't sure. It wasn't fair to wish away a baby, if that's what this was but part of him didn't want this for her. Somewhere deep in his soul, if she really wanted to know he'd tell her, still to this day that he wanted this for them.
The silence was deafening.
When he opened his eyes she was standing in the doorway, clutching the little piece of plastic. "Adam." Her desperate sob propelled him out of his seat and he reached her just as her legs buckled.
"It's okay Kim, we'll figure it out."
