Adam had about twenty minutes to get his head straight. They'd caught a case and not only had Atwater messaged him but Voight as well. "You be okay?"

"Sure."

"Yeah? You going to make an appointment to see a Doctor? I gather these things are not like set in stone." He'd studied the box in the Pharmacy while he was deciding which one to get and they all mentioned that it needed to be followed up for confirmation. He didn't quite get it but what would he know. This was all new for him.

"Sure."

"Kim?"

"Adam it's okay, just go." She wrung her hands together. "Can you like, not tell anyone."

He kissed her forehead supportively. It was the most he could do. "Not my news to tell."

"Thank you." It wasn't just thanks for keeping it to himself, it was a thank you for staying and helping and not judging. Judgement was the last thing she needed right now; she was doing enough of that for herself.

Jumping in the shower as soon as he left she tried to wash away the clammy feeling she had. It didn't work. Drying herself off she decided to take the other two tests that Adam had bought. When he came back with them she thought he was mad but that was probably because one part of her believed that she'd take the first one, it would be negative and that would be it.

Now she stared at all three, all positive.

Atwater was waiting for him when he pulled up at the scene. Handing him a pair of gloves he asked about Burgess. Voight had told him that Ruzek had stopped by just to check on her because her message was weird. 'Can't come in, sorry. Sick.'

"She's crook as a dog. Looks like death warmed up. Cursing your name for buying her dodgy tuna."

"Poor girl. She'll be back tomorrow?"

"Yep." Adam ducked under the crime scene tape. "What we got?"

"Gang shoot-out, unfortunately a four year old kid got caught in the crossfire. Mom is on her way to Med, critical. Trying to find out if it's wrong place wrong time or what?"

"It's a kid, it's always wrong place wrong time." He snapped. Today of all days he didn't need a case involved with kids, it was too close to the bone. "Sorry." He caught Atwater's side-eye.

"You okay Dude?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just didn't sleep well. Those beers kept me awake peeing half the night."

"Old man's bladder?"

"Yeah, something like that."

It was a tough hard slog but once he got into it he pushed everything else out of his mind. It was a good thing that he didn't have a moment to himself. He had fired off a quick text and got a one word response. 'Do you need anything else?'

'No'

As the clock ticked past midnight it was way too late to message her or drop in after they had wrapped for the day but he found himself checking his phone every other minute. Not that that was unfamiliar, he'd spent way too many hours doing that before and the silence then was just as deafening as it was now.

He crawled into bed and then out again three hours later when a second related gang hit lit up the night.

Kim had spent the day alternating between sobbing into her mattress and walking around in a daze. She'd found a family planning clinic across town who did walk in appointments. It was insane to drive two hours across traffic to have a blood test but she wanted to make sure no one she knew saw her. Knowing her luck she'd walk out and smack into someone from the district.

The Doctor only confirmed her fears. Yes she was pregnant, about six weeks. They gave her pre-natal vitamins, a load of pamphlets to read and an appointment for two days' time if she decided this was not what she wanted. "You will need someone to drive you home afterwards, you may still be groggy and perhaps it might be wise to have someone stay with you overnight just in case you experience any complications."

She just nodded blindly. She had never felt so utterly alone and desolate in her whole life. Her sister, Nicole had never recovered from her rape, not emotionally anyway and Kim had reached out to her on so many occasions only to be shut out every time. Nicole didn't blame her for what happened but seeing her sister was a constant reminder of what had happened and she just couldn't get past it. Turning to Nicole felt like too much right now, if she shut her out again she had no idea what to do.

Who else was there? Platt, not an option. She'd be pulled from Intelligence before she could even catch her breath. The risk of anyone in Intelligence finding out was too great. It was bad enough that Ruzek knew but strangely she had faith in him to keep her secret.

Did she even want it? At some stage she always dreamt of being a mother, but not like this. The father of her child wasn't around, and not just not in the picture, he was dead. Murdered and for what? Politics. It was a waste but even if he was alive would she have wanted his child? They hadn't been together long enough to decide that. She knew she certainly didn't have the soul crushing desire for him like she'd had once before.

What about his family? Should they know, would they want to know? What if they wanted to be in the child's life? Would they want her to have it? Would they hate her if she didn't?

And what about Adam? He'd hurt her, a long time ago and now he was there. He knew her deepest secret and he knew her better than most. She'd been at her most vulnerable and open when they had been together because she thought it was forever. In the past he'd seen her at her lowest, and today, she'd hit a new low and he was there too.

Since then she'd turned back to him a few times when she felt lonely and he was always there. And then he moved on, and despite the fact she was and had been seeing other people the knowledge that he had moved on was like a fresh wound. A barely healed scab that once picked again started to bleed. She knew it was over with Hailey and neither of them seemed bothered by it but it bothered her and she hated that because she had no reason to judge, she'd done something similar hadn't she?

Yet, he was there again when she needed him the most. Like he'd done so many times before. Relying on him seemed to be too big a leap to take, at least right now but he was all she had. Three people in this world knew her secret. A Doctor she'd probably never see again, herself obviously and her long ago but never quite forgotten ex fiancé. Life couldn't have been more messy if she tried.

It all swirled around inside her and she sat in her car for a good half hour just trying to breathe.

Adam forced himself to keep his face neutral when they arrived back at the District, hauling themselves in just after 8AM and found Kim was sitting at her desk.

"Burgess? Tuna Sushi for lunch? My buy." Atwater patted her shoulder on the way to his desk.

"Very funny. Never again." Kim did an amazing job of appearing completely unfazed. "If you weren't such a tight ass and sprung for stuff that wasn't on markdown that'd be grand."

Voight bought up the rear. "Burgess, glad to have you back." He turned to the white board. "Where we at?"

They ran through the board and added the latest information they had gathered. No one was talking and that frustrated them, not that is was unusual, gangs rarely went running to the cops when a gang war broke out then tended to clam up and take matters into their own hands and that's what worried them the most. He doled out the jobs. "Ruzek, get Burgess up to speed while you pick up Leishman."

Grabbing her coat she didn't even wait for Adam, he needed to hit the head before they left. She was leaning on the car, flipping through the case notes when he jogged up. "Before you start, can we not, not here." Kim held up her hand to stop whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

"Okay." He unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat. "But before we go…are you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"I don't know yet Adam."