Well look...yet another total #Burzek fuck you from TPTB of Chicago PD...is anyone surprised? I think I'm close to putting the #Burzek ship in dry dock, and selling parts of it off for scraps.
Lucky this story is already written and finished because they have killed my buzz completely.
Be Good' His message was simple. He knew how nervous she was about meeting Blair's sister. Her own family had been shocked and a little harsh about her news which devastated Kim. Nicole just told her that's nice and then went on an anti-man rant and her mother gave her a lecture about safe sex, a little too late obviously. There was no offer to come help or see her, but they did tell her to call if she needed anything and to let them know how she was going.
Now her nerves were all over the shop meeting Ginny, Blair's sister.
Kim folded and refolded the napkin in front of her. It had been a good week or so since she'd felt nauseous but today she felt queasy.
"Kim?" A tall black lady come to a standstill beside her. "Are you Kim?" She was impeccably dressed with the same bright smile of her brother.
Nervously Kim leapt up and awkwardly hugged the woman, who seemed surprised. "Hi…sorry." Kim stuttered when the woman took a step back and offered her hand instead. Kim had hugged her because she didn't know what else to do.
"I'm Ginny."
"Nice to meet you." Kim offered for her to sit. "Please, sit down. Can I get you a coffee?"
"Thanks, long black for me." Kim waved the waitress over and added a coffee to her order.
"I really appreciate you coming out, this is all a bit awkward isn't it?"
"A little, Blair talked about you a bit. I was surprised when he talked about moving to Chicago and he admitted that he had met someone. He was pretty vague though." Ginny leant back, her long fingers clasped together on the table. "Tell me about yourself."
Kim suddenly felt like she was on the wrong side of the interrogation table. "Uhhh, I'm a cop, that's how we met."
"A cop, wow. Didn't expect that."
"No? I love it. I'm so lucky that I've got the opportunity and they have kept me working with my team, not out in the field as much but it's good, really good" Kim looked down at the table at the neatly folded napkin as she tried to fill the awkward silence. "This wasn't planned."
"I figured." Ginny gave her a tight smile. They were two woman who had nothing but at ghost of a man and an unborn baby between them. "So how are you and the baby?"
"We are good, it's going well so far. A little rough to begin with but I feel good now, just tired."
Kim sat back a little while the waitress delivered their order. She caught Ginny's slightly disapproving look as the coffee was placed in front of Kim. "Decaf." She offered to ease her mind.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to…." She trailed off and didn't finish.
"I hate that it's Decaf but I just couldn't give it up completely. A few of my colleagues have gone Decaf in sympathy. They aren't loving it either."
Ginny wasn't really the chit chat type, not with people she didn't know and this whole situation was a little surreal. "So Kim, I'm not quite sure how or what you want from us so I thought I'd just lay it out."
"Okay."
"We want to be involved. We lost our brother." Kim knew that Blair had two sisters and one of them lived in the UK and he hadn't seen her for almost ten years. "Our parents are still in shock, Blair's murder really destroyed them, especially at their age. They are sceptical about why now?"
"Why now? Because I am pregnant with his child, the timing is kinda taken out of my hands."
"I guess." Ginny reached into her bag and pulled out a sheet of paper and slid it across the table. "I know this seems strange but I was worried that I would forget something so I wrote it down."
"A DNA test?" It was the first thing on the list.
"Yes, I know that sounds harsh but we don't want to go to all this trouble if it's not Blair's baby."
"Sorry…but I've told you it is his baby. Do you think I would put you and your family through something like this if I wasn't sure?" Kim folded up the piece of paper. "I'll read this later. I don't think it's fair to go through this now. Frankly I don't think it's fair at all. I am not a liar. I am not a cruel person, you lost a brother and a son, only a callous cold and calculating person would deliberately inflict more pain. I'm actually offended and hurt."
"We don't know you." Kim reached for her phone. Adam had insisted that she have an out and he was sitting in a car down the block with Rojas. All she had to do was say the word and he'd come get her. Kim was rightly concerned about Adam appearing, not that he cared but he understood how hard it could make things for her if they thought she'd replaced the baby's father already. Not that he was anything other than a friend helping out. Rojas would come get her if she needed it.
"Kim, I'm sorry if this has upset you. This is a unique situation and we don't want to be taken advantage of. We want things to be fair for us." Not once did she mention that they wanted things to be fair for Kim. It was all about them, which she could understand a little but as far as she was concerned this was all about her right now and she was trying to do her best to let people in. It was hard and this was all she had control of right now, her baby and her body and she wasn't letting anyone take that away from her.
"No you are not." Kim snapped. "If you had one shred of decency you'd make the effort to get to know me before you accuse me of trying to manipulate and deceive you. I can't believe this. I am trying to do the right thing."
"I think this all came out wrong."
"You think?" Kim didn't hide her sarcasm. "I appreciate the situation, I really do. Trust me it's not easy for me either and I am still trying to figure things out. Do you think I want to be a single mom, do you think I wanted him dead? We had a relationship so I wanted you to know because it is Blair's baby but make no mistake, I will be making the decisions regarding my pregnancy and birth and my baby. You can be part of it, but on my terms."
"It's not about that."
"Well I wouldn't know would I?" She threw it straight back in Ginny's face. "I do understand that this is a big thing for your family, imagine what it's like for me. My career, my life going forward, raising a child alone and that's what I am focussing on right now."
Kim picked up her phone and checked the time, discreetly hitting send on the SOS message to Adam that she'd typed earlier.
"Look I'm sorry. I need to go; I've got to go to work. I'll be in contact soon, I have another appointment for a scan in a few weeks, I will let you know when if you'd like to come." Kim offered, hoping to soften the blow a little. She didn't want to cut them out, they deserved to be in the baby's life but she didn't want them controlling her either. She wasn't something that needed controlling, she needed people to be there for her, whatever she needed.
"I'd like that."
"Great, I'll send you some dates. It's pretty amazing." Kim softened a little but the list was burning a hole in her.
Ginny nodded. "You know what I find interesting. You've never said you loved my brother or miss him or wish he was here."
Kim was a little stunned, she wasn't expecting to have to answer to her feelings for Blair, they were all over the shop. "We hadn't been together long, I really liked him, love I'm not sure but I can tell you that his child will know what a good ,good man he was and how much he would've loved them. I knew that much about him. He was a good man."
"He was."
"He would have been a good father and I am sorry he's not here to meet his baby." Kim waved as Rojas tapped on the window and indicated that he had to go. "I've gotta go. Thanks for coming out Ginny, I really appreciate it and I hope we can work through all this. I promise I'll take care of this baby. It means the world to me too."
Vanessa fell into step beside Kim as she stepped out of the café and pulled her beanie down tighter over her ears. "How'd you go?"
"Great. Really good." Kim smiled tightly. She liked Vanessa, she had fitted in well and had been very sweet even buying her a little teddy bear one day because she saw it and thought it was cute. She had also organised an old friend of hers, who was starting up a new massage business focussed on Mom's and Bubs to give her three free pre-natal massages. Kim had been feeling tight in her back as her body started to change to accommodate the growing baby. It was perfect and Kim couldn't thank her enough.
Despite that Kim was wary about who she shared things with. It was such a minefield and she relied on just a few people. Adam, Kevin and Trudy were her go to people and she appreciated that everyone cared but it was hard to open up when she didn't understand what she felt most of the time anyway. They were her punching bags and they'd all taken a few hits. It was better this way, to keep her circle tight. That's where she felt safest.
"Burgess, where is my bagel?" Ruzek noticed her mood as soon as she got in the car.
"Sorry. You don't need it anyway; you are getting fat like me."
"I told you, I'm not letting you do this alone. I'm all in."
Vanessa just smiled from the backseat. They were cute together.
Kim had been the beneficiary of the first of Platt's 'chats.'
Platt spent the first twenty minutes of her 'chat' explaining all the ways you can 'not' get pregnant. How thought her wild younger years she had managed the feat with one hundred percent effectiveness. "And yet here we are. A single but not exactly young mother who let's face it doesn't make very smart decisions when it comes to men. Although he was hot, I will give you that and your little milkshake baby will be impossibly cute. But not your smartest move. I know I said go for it but I assumed you'd make sure he wrapped it good and proper."
"Ummm thanks, I think. Although the crack about not being a young mother was probably a tad too much."
"Are you a teenager?"
"No."
"Right, so what's the problem exactly?"
"Nothing."
Trudy hadn't actually been surprised when Kim told her that Adam had been there for her from the start, it had surprised her that he'd kept it a secret but the fact that he was supporting her was no surprise. She had actually scoffed when Kim told her. "Well duh, who else?"
"It's complicated."
"No it's not, you are pregnant, baby daddy is sadly not here, Rest in Peace but the guy who should have always been the one is here. You know, in case you were wondering that was one of your dumb decisions, not talking to him that is. So it's not complicated or rocket science and I would expect nothing less." Platt pulled no punches. "I will, however read him the riot act and I am not afraid of threatening physical violence."
"He's expecting nothing less."
Adam was next on her hit list.
The riot act started with three days of intense stares whenever he walked into the District but he was always too busy to stop and chat often pretending to be talking on the phone when he came through but she was on to him. Then he started coming in the back door and Platt was onto that and ambushed him. "Are you avoiding me?"
"Yes."
"Figures." She grabbed him by the elbow and led him into the gun cage. That was not lost on him. "Now, I will only ask you once. How long are you in this for?"
"No expiration date."
"Because I swear to god I will hurt you if you hurt her again."
He sighed. "Sarge." It was always a little tiresome that he copped all the blame.
"Yes, yes know she was a flake too." She held up her hand to silence his reply. "Doesn't matter now. You and Upton?"
"Dead as a doornail."
"Good. Do what it is you do then."
"What's that."
Platt looked at him like he had two heads. "Love her." Adam smirked at her, knowing full well it would piss her off. "How you remember to breathe some days astounds me."
"Good chat Sarge."
Platt winked at him. "Speaking of which, I will be setting up a Group Chat and you will participate fully."
"Can I invite a friend. Just so there is a trail?"
"Atwater?" she actually snorted.
"Who else?"
"I can make him go away too. Trails are easy to kill, but okay, if that makes you 'feel better'." The use of air quotes was slightly amusing and definitely terrifying. "Are you going to pick a safe word?" she mocked him.
"We've got this Trudy." Rarely did he call her Trudy, ever since their epically bad 'date' he hadn't dared. But this woman protected her chosen few like a lioness protected her cubs. She'd been there for him when he was jammed up with Antonio and had been rock solid when he scuttled off on an Undercover job because he couldn't work with Burgess. Despite that, she still scared him more than any other woman did, any other person really.
"Yes Adam, we do."
The message group started later that day and Atwater had been bemused and commented that he wasn't sure he wanted to be part of it and he was told, in no uncertain terms that he would be a willing member otherwise Platt would probably kill both of them.
Adam threw his coat over the back of the chair and accepted the beer that Kim handed him. He reached for the piece of paper on the table that had a lot of red markings on it. Kim loved a red marker, he had read pregnancy books that she'd made him study with copious notes and markings. Kevin had to read them as well and it was an ongoing joke between them, while Trudy just kept buying them and feeding Kim's habit. "What's this?"
"It's from Ginny."
"What the fuck?" He read the first two lines. "A DNA test and weekly written updates?" he was pissed. "A one-off payment of $50K in exchange for all medical costs covered at Advocate Christ Hospital and monthly visits to Washington. What the hell is this shit?"
"They are just trying to be involved."
"Involved or to control you? You haven't decided on a hospital yet?"
"I know."
"A Drug test and someone present at the birth?" He spluttered. "What to see if it comes out the right colour?"
"Don't be a dick."
"Why else then? So they can snaffle it and leave the state?"
"I don't know Adam; I was a bit stunned."
"Stunned, I'd be fucking furious, I am fucking furious. They want to pay you off, once they establish paternity of course, but want a say in everything. No fucking way."
"They are the baby's family."
"I don't care, I know you want them involved and to know the kid and I get that but they don't get to control you and your pregnancy Kim." Adam had looked into it. "They don't have that right, or any rights with regards any of this."
"I know."
"What did you say?"
"I only read the first line then told her I'd read it later. I didn't know what to do or say."
"Fuck off would be a good place to start."
"Please don't. Don't make this harder for me than it already is." Her voice wobbled and he felt guilty. He found it hard some days to know where the line was. Sometimes she made it very clear that it wasn't his baby and he had no say whatsoever and other times she would plead with him to help her make a decision.
"Sorry. I'm sorry Kim, I'm just angry, for you." He held out his arms and Kim gratefully accepted his embrace. There had been a lot more of this lately, they'd been getting closer physically. More hugs, falling asleep on the couch together, holding hands. Adam didn't know what Kim wanted, he was too scared to ask or push anything because he knew she'd baulk so he just went with the flow. He kissed her forehead, she loved the forehead kisses, it was his thing and she had felt the change in them. Once they were just supportive and now they were becoming more heartfelt, they lingered and she heard him sigh.
Tilting her head back she looked up at him. "I'm scared."
"I know, I won't let them bully you or hurt you I promise." Adam smiled. "I'll fight 'em."
"Can you?"
"Yep. Chicago's finest ready to serve and protect."
Kim's lips parted a little and he couldn't help himself. He kissed her, softly and when he pulled back a little she chased his mouth. It was sweet and painful and Adam pulled away first. "Sorry."
"No, it's okay. We can't do this."
"Why not?" It wasn't the first time he'd asked her why not when they got close.
"It's too complicated right now Adam, I can't do this as well."
"Okay." He nodded sadly. Kissing her forehead again. "Just so you know…" his words hummed against her warm skin. "…I'm here when it's not so complicated anymore."
