A/N: Hope you like this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
WARNING: it's a BL love and if you're not into those things then you probably don't want to read this.
Chapter 1: Prologue (Edited Version)
I don't know what really attracted me to him in the first place. I don't even have an answer to give if someone asked me.
But the thought of wanting to be by his side, always stuck with me since we were still young. His kind and warm personality, which was always overlooked, pulled me towards him. Warm fuzzy feelings always fill me up whenever I'm with him.
Since striplings, we have always been friends until our middle school year came around... Entering middle school, one by one all things around him change, including him. Gaining friends he can depend on, little by little he became independent, I'm more than happy for him but I started fading from him.
He misses our hangouts, always leaving me like an idiot waiting for him for hours. When he arrives or call, he always apologies but in the end, he can't continue our plan. He always gives excuses and won't give me the true reasons... I felt like I can't even know. But every time, I overlook it.
Days when he stops coming to school and arriving a few weeks later, looking like he was more disheveled and beat up, always made me worried. I can't help feeling left out and a small tint of anger building inside me as this started happening.
Is he leaving me out because he started gaining new friends? or he didn't consider that I'm his childhood friend from the start?
These thoughts played inside my head.
Then... I asked myself. Why do I even care so much about it in the first place?
Of course, I care because I stayed with him since we were kids, even if others called him no good, and now he's leaving me out. That would hurt even for anyone...
I could have ignored it, like anyone does in this situation, and have my own set of companions like him. Accept that some people would leave and never come back.
But why?
Why is he so important to me?
I never realized the answers to all of my questions until, one day, as I passed by him, I saw that genuine smile on his face.
And like one of cupid's stupid arrow miscalculated whom its target, it hit me with everything it had. I can't help but quickly hide my cheeks as they flustered, immediately running from that place.
I can't help but swear loudly in my head.
The realization made my heart beat loudly, my body feeling hot. Strange warm and fuzzy feeling swarming inside my stomach but, at the same time like cold water poured on me. I can't help but feel alarmed and panic, those warm feeling leaving me. My feet feeling cold, fear and anxiety made it hard for me to move my whole body.
I'm in love with my childhood friend, who is a boy like me.
If Tsuna found out about my infatuation for him, even if he's a kind person, he'll surely be repulsed at the idea of another boy liking him. At worse, he also likes a girl.
If it's in those mangas, a guy liking another guy, no matter what, they still fell in love at the end. I can't even imagine the idea of him liking me, especially with the way how things are going with the girl he likes.
Sasagawa Kyoko a school idol. Love by everyone, pretty, kind, full of sparkles and such innocent smiles. Short, delicate... fragile... honest, cute and a girl. From the very beginning, I did not meet those fulfillments. No matter what I'm still a man.
From all my denials and fears, I still want to be with him. My longing and to ease my ache for him, I still satisfied myself to be beside him.
Selfish, I know. Such disgusting thoughts but I can't help it. In the end, I despise myself for stooping so low. Not having the courage to confess but instead let my greed, to be with him as a friend even when I have such thoughts, even I'm disgusted with myself.
Then those delusions I've put myself in completely shattered one day.
Tsuna invited me to his house for a party of unknown reasons. But with my greed to see him, I still went.
Arriving in front of his house, there, in front of the window, I saw them. His hand on her waist, showing his possession and close to her as if guarding her as she snuggles and cheerfully smiles at him.
Even without any words, I already know why they are all celebrating and what I'm seeing meant.
Tsuna finally confessed and she accepted him.
Those greedy thoughts and delusion, I've put myself in almost made me choke from humiliation.
But like a program installed on me, my mind blanks out however my body moves on it own as I gave them my blessing and wishing them the best with smiles that I know were fake. Yet, it seems so flawless that no one notices it or that no one paid attention to it.
Leaving as the party ends, I walked home alone. Finally, the smile I have on my lips fell as I stared blankly. Images of how happy Tsuna throughout the whole party, kept repeating inside my head.
Slowly tears fell from my eyes as I bend in frustration. Silent screams came out of my mouth.
Seeing them, I can't help but think they suited each other but at the same time, it suffocates me. It just shows how pathetic I am.
I completely kept my distance from them.
Just seeing Tsuna with someone, I can't help but well up in envy and such longing, it's hard to keep it under control.
If I see him, I might spill myself, take everything out and tell him.
That I love him. I don't want anyone else.
I have no choice but to close my mouth and clenched it all.
This went on until one afternoon, a man in a butler suit with my parents face me and told me everything. Everything I had until now was nothing but a complete lie.
I have no choice but to go with the man who calls himself, my servant, to a country I don't know, people I have no idea were related to me.
And in the end, all I could think about was how much I want to see you and want you beside me. But such wishful thinking will end up nothing.
And now after years have passed...
Sawada Tsunayoshi, the appointed Decimo of the Vongola family, firmly gripped my hand, eyes frantic as he called out.
"K-Kaoru?!"
I can't help but stare at the man in front of me. Why did I meet you again?
A/N: Sorry for the wrong grammar that I have missed. Probably I missed all of them. Hahaha, I know, I know you might yell and scream at me that this isn't an update but a re-edited version but let me explain why I did it.
IT'S BECAUSE MY PREVIOUS WRITING IS AS CRAPPY AS HELL AND CRINGEY!
HAHAHA!
But seriously, I actually reread this a few days ago and let me tell you, it almost made me puke at how there were so many wrong grammars and so overdramatic speech*cough* this edit version is also the same *cough* but still, I think what I have right now is better than the other one though.
Gokudera: so it's like, you just want to write this to feel better, huh?
Lazy Calligraphy Master: Hush! MY READERS CAN HEAR YOU!
Gokudera:... Idiot...
Lazy Calligraphy Master: *look at my readers nervously* *cough* Uh... Well, to be honest, I just really want you guys to have something more enjoyable and easy to read since my writing is shitty. As such, I gave it a try to re-edit this prologue! and I hope that I gave it more depth than the previous one. Hopefully, this one is better than the other one! Your reviews and comments are welcome!
WELL! See you again soon in the next chapter! OH! by the way, the other coming chapter is another edited version of chapter 1 just to remind you since from now on, I'm going to edit and change things up because I don't really know the original plot and events that I have come up with.
And to be honest, I was young back then and I was the type of teenager to just want to write something awesome without even thinking about it too much because all I wanted was to write something about my OC being awesome and all and a love relationship with a character that I love...so pretty much the plot that I have back then is shitty. So I'm gonna disregard it. *throw old paper plot away*
Anyway, thank you so much for everything up until now for supporting this story even though it was only a prologue and a chapter only.
About Tsuna and Kaoru being who is the seme and uke is still debatable so if you want to tell me who is the uke and seme just comment since I'm not gonna put a poll on it. Thank you!
CIAO!
