The sun is low, the shadows lengthening, and he knows they should start to walk back, but he's having the best time of his life.

After drying off in the sun, they'd redressed, and he'd prepared their meal. It wasn't anything special, just bread, meats and cheeses. He'd offered her a piece of bread with cheese and she'd surprised him when she'd playfully opened his mouth. That had had him shifting, trying to ease the growing tension in his belly.

Then he'd been genuinely impressed. He's never seen anyone love food as much as Rey. She'd eaten more than him, which is saying something.

Now he's sitting with his legs outstretched with Rey lying next to him. Her hand is on his thigh and it's a bit hard to think clearly. She's looking up at the jungle canopy and they're simply enjoying the sound of the waterfall and a few bird calls. It's serene and oh so beautiful. Not as beautiful as her, though.

It's begun to get a little cold, however, and he sighs. He really doesn't want to go. But then she shivers.

"We should maybe head back," he says forlornly.

"No! It's so peaceful out here. Besides, I like being alone with you," she offers shyly.

"Yeah, the school can be a little much," he agrees.

"That's not what I meant," she says with heavy meaning and Ben's chest expands to try and fit the swell of feeling her words inspire.

He wants to tell her that being with her, just her, makes him feel like everything finally makes sense, but all he manages is, "I like being alone with you, too."

She shivers again and he makes a disappointed face. Rey being uncomfortable in any way simply isn't an option. He wishes he'd brought his robe or a blanket.

When she starts to rub her arms, he accepts that there's no other option but to return, so he gets to his feet and holds out his hand. "Come on, the wind is picking up. Let's go."

Then she pouts, she actually pouts, but she lets him pull her to her feet.

"But I don't want to go," she says, her lower lip jutting out and looking frustratingly tempting.

"You're cold," he points out.

Her eyes flit away, but then she's looking up at him through her lashes. "You could warm me up?"

He just blinks at her, trying to think through the immediate lust-filled haze at her insinuation. Then she draws closer and she places her hands on his chest, the heat of her hands burning right into his heart. Their bodies are almost touching, and Maker, he wants to think of just the right thing to say.

But he's still struck mute. She's so close that he can feel her body tremble when a gust of wind stirs her hair. That spurs him into action and he hesitantly starts to draw her to him, making sure not to cage her. She doesn't pull away, though. Instead, she returns his tentative embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist with the most delightful little mewl.

Before he's really caught up, he realizes he's holding Rey. Oh, Force, he's holding Rey! Something in him slides into place, like he's always been waiting for this moment. He knows it's not just because he's holding a pretty girl in his arms. No, this is something stronger, deeper. It's as if some part of her is twining around his heart and all he can do is surrender to it.

She lets out a soft sigh and lays her head on his chest. He's sure she can hear his heart thumping wildly, but he truly doesn't care. Let her know what she does to him. He could never find the words, anyway.

Realizing that she wants this, wants to be in his arms, makes him bolder, and he tightens his embrace, stroking her back, thrilled at the heat that travels up his fingers from touching her.

"A-are you warm enough," he stammers out.

"Mmmhmm. You're like a furnace."

"Good. Good." His lungs can't quite get enough air and he desperately wants to tell her what she means to him. But he'd just sound like an idiot, he's sure, so he keeps his mouth firmly shut.

He almost calls out in physical pain when she pulls back, but she doesn't go far, simply looking up into his eyes. She blinks slowly, and the dim light makes her eyes a deep brown, her lips an enticing red.

She's so kissable and the way she's looking at him, it makes him think that maybe that's what she wants? That's how this goes, right? That's the next step?

He just wants to get it right. Then the decision is taken from him as she goes on her toes and presses her lips against his. The desperate little whimper that escapes her makes him groan into her mouth and he's pulling her to him, trying to deepen the kiss.

He's had so little practice, he's not sure what he's doing. Plus, he's certain kissing Rey is entirely different. Then his trepidation is replaced with pure heat, because she's kissing him back with a frantic kind of fervor and he all he can do is try to keep up.

The rightness of it, the way it feels like he's drowning in Rey, overwhelms all of his senses. All he can feel is her, all he can smell is her, all he can taste is her, and all he can hear are the high little noises she's making.

Diving deeper, deeper into her, he draws his tongue along her lip, needing to be tangled with her completely.

But then she wrenches herself out of his arms and looks at him like she's terrified. Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt her? Oh, gods, has he forced himself on her?

That's when he notices the tears gathering in her eyes and she cries out. "I'm sorry! I—I—I can't do this!" Her tears break free and a sob is torn from her throat and she's running.

Running from him.

"Rey!" he calls after her. "Please, what did I do? Rey!"

She's already tearing down the path back to the training temple, leaving him standing next to the waterfall, his body still primed from her touch and his heart shattering.


He stands there for an age, numb. For a moment he'd thought he should go after her. But he'd sensed in the Force, strongly, that she hadn't wanted him to follow. So he sits back down on the rock, ignoring how his soul teems with the need to chase her down, hold her to him, make her understand that he'd never hurt her, that his devotion knows no bounds.

Wrapping his arms around his torso, he begins to rock back and forth, trying to find some hollow comfort in giving her time to make it back.

He won't make her see him.

But … what did he do wrong?


Ben doesn't go to the communal fire that night, avoiding all people entirely as he slinks to his hut. Master Luke will have words for him in the morning, but right now he truly doesn't care.

All he can do is go over their disastrous kiss over and over again. At first, it had been everything he'd ever dreamed kissing could be. He wishes he'd never kissed anyone else, because nothing had ever felt so right and he understands why he never could figure out all the fuss.

Because kissing Rey had felt like the sun cresting the horizon, light bathing everything. He'd been able to see for the first time in his life. It all finally made sense. Rey made it make sense.

Why had she run from him? Everything had been perfect, perfect and he had to go and mess it all up with his desire. He should have known she wouldn't want that. Want him.

But she'd kissed him first. Hadn't she?

That's when the tears come and he curls into a little ball, his heart crying almost as hard as his body.


She won't look at him at breakfast, sitting as far away as possible.

He doesn't even try to eat, just pushing his food around on his plate. Rey wolfs down her food like someone is going to take it from her. He tries not to stare, he really does, but he needs some sign that she doesn't hate him.

When she gets up to leave, he decides he's just going to follow her, ask her what happened, but Master Luke steps in front of him.

"You weren't at the communal fire last night. Neither was Rey," he says with an amused twinkle in his eye.

Ben's eyes close briefly in frustration. Not now!

"I'm sorry, Master Luke," he says obediently, hoping if he's contrite this won't last long.

"I know that I let the older students have a bit of freedom, but don't abuse that privilege, Ben."

"It won't happen again." Ben's whole body is vibrating with the need to find Rey.

Luke chuckles. "I doubt that, but do be a little more circumspect, hmm?"

The reminder that his uncle knows about his feelings for Rey knifes through him and he has the strangest desire to ask for his advice. But he doesn't trust Luke like that. He doesn't trust anyone like that. He thought he could maybe trust Rey, but that's all turned to ash.

"I will, Master Luke," he agrees as he bounces on his heels.

Luke smiles indulgently. "Go. I know it's time for your walk with her."

Ben flinches but takes his escape opportunity quickly, hoping that Rey will still be walking like she always does.

When he gets to their field, she's nowhere to be found. He lets out a bellow of frustration and heartache before slumping to the ground. His hands clench at the long grass and he breathes hard through his nose.

He just needs to understand! No, that's not true. He just needs her.


Ben can't even begin to focus on meditation. He's just full of self-recrimination. What had he been thinking, pushing for more? If he'd just left things as they were, he'd still have her attention. Instead, he senses her presence in the meditation clearing.

She's pulsing with sadness and it guts him. He did this. Somehow, he hurt her.

He just wished he knew how.


He's barely sleeping. He doesn't eat. Training has been a joke. Thankfully, everyone seems to know to stay the hell away from him.


"What's wrong, my boy?" the voice asks kindly.

Ben is so close to telling the voice. He's always confided in it before. But that strong sense that Rey must be protected rises in him, and he only responds with, "I'm just having trouble with my training." It's not precisely a lie.

"Hmmm, I think there's more to it than that."

"I'm just sick of it." And he is. The monotony of his days is making everything that much more unbearable.

"Yes, the life of a Jedi can be … trying."

"It's the same stupid stuff, meditation, sparring, more meditation. He never teaches us anything new!" His well-polished complaints about Master Luke come easily to him because they're true.

"Have you ever considered a different path?" the voice asks with a touch of eagerness.

"What do you mean?" Ben asks with confusion. "This is my life."

"But do you want it to be?"

Something in Ben snaps, because he doesn't. He wants to take Rey and make a new life, away from the cloying, oppressive, stagnant Jedi. But he can't. She won't even talk to him.

"I don't know," Ben responds hollowly.


Rey always manages to slip past him, avoiding him like he has a disease. After days of suffering, he finally can't take it any longer. He's going to make her talk to him.

That evening as the communal fire winds down, he manages to corner her as she's heading to her hut.

"Rey, please," he nearly begs.

She looks at him like she's terrified of him and tears instantly spring to her eyes. She shakes her head furiously and tries to move past him.

He knows he shouldn't, but he steps in front of her, trapping her between his body and one of the outbuildings.

"What did I do?" he asks the question that's been haunting him.

"Nothing. Nothing. I just … I just can't."

"I don't understand," he presses. "I thought … I thought we cared for one another."

Her face twists in pain. "I do, I do care, Ben."

"Then why?"

"I can't explain," she says, her moment of openness gone in an instant.

"Just tell me what I did wrong, this is killing me."

"I … I … I'm not ready," she finally stutters out.

Ben's lip curls. "Because of that other man."

She looks at him, a moment of confusion clouding her beautiful features. Then she looks away and says, "Yes."

"But he's not here!" Ben flares. And he is. He's right here. Wanting her.

Now fire fills her eyes. "I know! He's gone!"

"So, you'd rather a ghost to me!"

A tear trails down her cheek and she looks around as if trying to find something, anything to help her.

"I just can't explain."

"Why? Did you love him so much?"

Her face grows hard. "Yes."

Ben feels like he's been punched in the gut. Doesn't she know he'd do anything for her? On some level, he knows it's ridiculous to be jealous of a dead man, but right now he wants to challenge his rival, prove that no one could love Rey the way he does.

"But I'm here. I'm right here."

Her face breaks into a thousand pieces and she pushes past him with the most plaintive sob he's ever heard.

Hanging his head, he joins her in her tears.


A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, who is being a real champ as I flood her inbox with chapters of this and 'Tethered'.

Thank you, Readers! I'm having so much fun reading your reactions to this story! You may have noticed I've given up on making this short. I still hope it's not a another sprawling monster of a fic, but at this point, who knows? ArtemisBare thinks my muse found some cocaine and is gleefully keeping me up at all hours. Thank you all for giving this your time!