Pacing her rooms, he waits for Rey to return. He doesn't want to admit that he'd eavesdropped on their conversation, but he needs to know. There are so many unanswered questions when it comes to Rey and he's so tired of being kept in the dark.

Clearly, Rey had told his mother far more about herself, and the fact she doesn't trust him is like an open wound somewhere deep inside. He'd trust Rey with anything. Well. Almost anything. He's never told anyone about the voice, it had been very clear on that.

But if he were to tell anyone, it would be Rey. She didn't even believe in him enough to share where she grew up, for Force's sake!

Pace. Pace. Pace. He tries to remind himself of how she has been so fierce in her defense of him, so determined to stay with him. That means something, he's sure of it. Rey has to have her reasons to keep so many secrets.

Maybe he shouldn't push her. That hasn't gone very well for him in the past. No. No! This ends today, she's going to be honest with him. She has to; he's liable to go mad if she doesn't.

"What's troubling you so, my boy?" the voice wades into the chaos in his head.

"Now isn't a good time," Ben growls. This is the last thing he needs.

"You've been very difficult to find in the Force as of late; what's changed?"

Everything.

"Nothing. I'm just busy."

"With what, I wonder?"

Ben wants to scream. He's never wanted the voice to go away more in his life. Usually, it's a source of comfort. During his lonely childhood, the voice was his constant companion, keeping the solitude from swallowing him whole.

Now, though, now he has to focus.

"Come now, trust in me," the voice entreats. "Who else has supported you like I have?"

He wavers. Maybe the voice would know what to do? Maybe it even knows something about Rey? It's always known so much about him.

Then it's moot as Rey returns to the guest quarters, her face happy and bright and he feels the voice suddenly disappear.

Time is up and Ben loses his nerve for a moment when he sees her beaming smile.

"Ben, you were the cutest baby!" She throws her arms around his neck and pecks him on the lips.

How can she be so happy when she's obviously hiding so much from him? His frustration comes roaring back with a vengeance. "You should tell me what? What final step?" he asks with a hard voice.

Rey's face shifts swiftly and she drops her arms from around his neck. "How much did you hear?" she asks fearfully.

"Enough to know you confided in my mother but not me." His tone is laced with hurt.

"It's comp—"

"I swear to the Maker, Rey, if you say it's complicated one more time, I'm going to lose my godsdamned mind."

"I can't tell you," she evades, looking around as if she wants to be anywhere but here.

"But you could tell my mother? That's who you could tell?"

"I ... I …" Then she's turning away from him with a strangled sound.

Ben watches her fold in on herself, and much as he wants to hold firm, Rey is in distress and he'll always comfort her. Even if he wants to shake all the answers from her.

He huffs out a frustrated breath, then goes to her, pulling her into his arms. She clings to him like she thinks he'll wink out of existence.

"I'm so scared," she admits.

"Of what?" he asks softly. What could be so bad? Is she worried she'd push him away with the truth? "Whatever it is, it won't change how I feel about you."

She shudders in his arms. "I know. Nothing can change how we feel," she says with a certainty that surprises him. Would she want that?

He pulls back slightly, looking into her stricken face. "Why is that? Why am I so drawn to you?" he finally asks one of his thousands of questions.

She looks away and stays silent for a long moment. Then she takes in a steadying breath. "I want to tell you, I do. Stars, I wish I'd known sooner …"

"Known what? What is it? Please, I need to know. The way everything inside me shifted when you came into my life, I just need to understand," he pleads.

"I remember," she says with a faraway voice, obviously remembering how she'd felt when she first saw him. "I won't explain how I know this but … we … we share a soul."

"What?" he asks dumbly. He's never heard of such a thing. A Force bond, sure, even paired souls. But one shared soul? He must be missing something.

"We're a dyad in the Force," she elaborates. "Two who are one."

"We … what?" he repeats.

"That's why it's so hard to be apart."

A strange sort of calm comes over him and he says, "I know. Somehow, I've always known."

And it's true. He's known from the moment he saw her that she was meant for him. It had been like a star being born in his heart. Then his eyes narrow, because this doesn't come close to explaining anything about how secretive she is. And it makes her pushing him away that much more painful, because she'd done that to him even knowing what they are to each other.

"But … why wouldn't you just tell me? Why did you run from me after we kissed?" And what about that other man? "Why did telling me scare you?"

"I … I know things. About you. Things I shouldn't know. And I'm afraid of what they mean."

"What kind of things?" he asks, still keeping her in his arms, but stepping back slightly.

Her eyes close briefly. "I know how much you struggle with the dark side. I know it's far worse than you've ever admitted."

Now he does pull back completely. Does she know about the voice? Does she know how tempted he is to change his path?

"Because of our shared soul?"

"That's part of it."

"Stop evading! Just tell me, not just part of it, everything!" Is this how it's always going to be? Rey forever closed to him?

"You have to trust me! I'm so afraid if I tell you everything, you'll fall."

He returns to his place in front of her and takes her hands. "I would never leave you like that."

"No, you'd take me with you," she says with a clarity that chills him. Because she's right. He would never go anywhere she wouldn't follow. But the thought of her brimming with dark power does something to him and he looks away partially in shame, and partially to hide his spike of lust.

"Just tell me how you know all of this, please. The whole reason," he begs.

Rey looks up, her face the picture of anguish. "Gods …" she murmurs. Then she takes in a shuddering breath. "If I tell you, will you promise not to ask any more questions? At least for now?"

His jaw works. He doesn't like this. At all. It will keep the distance between them, and he yearns to be as close to her as possible, not just physically, but in every way they can. But if she'll give him this, maybe it will quiet his desperate need to know.

Against his better judgement, he nods as he says, "I promise."

"This is so hard," she says with a depth of struggle that makes him want to tell her that it doesn't matter. But it does. It feels like it matters more than almost anything else in his life.

"Please," he breathes out.

She looks into his eyes intensely. "I'm from the future. Eleven years, to be exact. That's how I know so much and also why I'm terrified to make the wrong step. I can't let it happen again."

"What, let what happen again?"

She gives him a warning look. "You promised."

"Right, I'm sorry … I wasn't thinking." But his mind is going a million parsecs a minute. She's from the future? How is that even possible? Obviously, it's the Force. It's always the Force. But he's not read anything about it being able to do that and he's read everything he could get his hands on.

However, he starts to make connections, swiftly. It explains so much, how she just appeared, seemingly out of thin air. Because she literally did. She must have known Luke in her time. That's why he'd trusted her so quickly. And his mother … did she know her?

Did she know him? Is he the other man?

Oh, gods. Does that mean in 11 years, he dies?

The questions are overwhelming him, and Rey is watching him closely. "Are you alright?" she asks.

He wants to tell her that everything is fine. That he's simply grateful to know this, but his brain just won't stop tumbling and he admits, "No, I'm really, really not. How could you keep this from me?" His voice is plaintive, revealing his hurt.

"Can you imagine what it's like for me? To know so much? What if even this is enough to make it all happen again?"

"So you came to avoid something horrible," he says, almost to himself.

She nods miserably and he realizes he'd essentially asked another question. But how is he possibly going to keep from needing to know the full story? What has her so afraid? It's clearly bad, and he can see how knowing what will happen could have profound effects on him. On her. On the galaxy.

He comes very close to taking her by the biceps and demanding to know everything, and that's when he realizes that he has to be alone, or he's going to bombard her with the questions he's promised to keep unsaid. He might even break into her mind, force her to tell him. And that urge terrifies him.

"I … I need some time."

Her eyes bulge with fear. "You want me to leave?" The way she's coursing with pain makes it clear she's asking if she should leave him.

"No! No, I just need to be able to think, on my own. Just for a little while. I never want you to leave." Especially now that he knows she's literally his soulmate. At least he doesn't have to worry about his mother trying to part them. But the dark is rising in him, and he has to get away, but he thinks he has enough control left to comfort her.

"I'll be back, soon. I promise," he says as he pulls her back into his arms and holds her trembling form. "It's alright. Don't be so scared." He says it to both of them.

"Sometimes I feel like it won't ever be alright again."

"How can it not be when we're together?" he soothes and she settles into his embrace, the trembling lessening.

She nods into his chest. "I'm sorry I hurt you so much. Before. I was just so scared."

"I know, I know, sweetheart. It's alright." But it's not. He has to think, bring himself back under control.

He pulls back and gives her his best smile as he retreats from her sitting room.

At first, he just goes to his own rooms, but his body is jangling with tension and he needs to move so he grabs his jacket and makes his way to the lift. Outside, he needs to be outside.


Thankfully, no one had crossed his path as he'd left his mother's apartment. He has no idea what he would have said. To anyone.

Walking swiftly, his feet pounding the ground, he heads straight for the park near his mother's building. He'd often spent time there at the man-made lake, hidden away by the trees. Just as it had helped his buzzing head as a boy, he hopes it will today, as well.

As he strides to his destination, more questions start to tumble out. If he isn't this other man, how could Rey have had such intense feelings for someone else when they share a soul? But she'd been so reticent at first, getting close then pulling away. Almost like she was making herself be with him.

If it was him that she loved, wouldn't she have simply been happy to see him? But she'd obviously been grieving when he was right there, so that has to be it. The other man can't be him. Besides, if he was, that means Rey loves him, and she's never said that.

He nears the lake and picks his way through the brambles and brushes until he breaks through into the small clearing he'd always thought of as his. Slumping to the ground, he puts his head in his hands.

His stomach turns at the thought of Rey loving someone else when she knew she shared a soul with him and he hates the other man. And he's angry with her. How could she? From the very first moment he knew she existed, he'd been hers.

He scoffs. Of course Rey wouldn't want him as much as he wants her. That's just the way his life goes, he should know that by now.

But … here, now … she seems to want to be with him, truly be with him. Perhaps that's all that matters? Besides, it's not as if he's told her he loves her, either. Maybe he should simply keep moving forward as if he'd never known. Let their future play out as it will. Let Rey have her secrets. He knows that he won't let anything bad happen to her.

Then he has a truly chilling thought. What if she's going back?

Before the thought is even finished, he's running, running back to Rey.


Breathing heavily, he slams through the front door of the apartment and rushing to her room. But when he gets there, she's nowhere to be found. Conservatory. She must be in the conservatory.

He walks swiftly to the other room, only to find his mother going over reports.

"Son? Are you alright?"

"Rey. Where's Rey?"

"Oh, she's with your father working on the Falcon."

He's off again before his mother even finishes speaking.


"Rey!" he calls as he runs out onto the landing berth. What would it do to him to have half of his soul ripped from him? He won't survive if she's only here for a short while. He wouldn't want to.

His father is soldering something or the other, sparks flying, and his head pokes up from atop the ship. "Hey, kid."

"Where's Rey?" he asks desperately.

"Damn, Son, you seen a ghost?"

"I just need to talk to Rey," he pleads.

"She's in the Falcon, working on the water main. 'Fresher's on the fritz again."

Ben pounds up the ramp, intent on finding her as fast as he can.


He finds her deep in one of the access ports, her tongue sticking out as she works.

"Rey!"

"Ben?" she asks, standing up.

"I know I promised not to ask any questions, but there's something I have to know."

"Ben, no," she says with a frown.

"Please, just one. I'll never ask anything else, I swear."

She starts to pull herself from the access port and he lifts her easily until she's standing in front of him. There's a smudge of engine grease on her cheek, and if he wasn't so frantic he'd think it was adorable.

Warily, she looks up at him and says, "I don't promise to answer, but ask your question."

"Are you going back? To your time. Are you leaving me?"

Her eyes grow soft and her expression affectionate. "No … no. I'm here for good. With you."

He crushes her to him so hard she squeaks. Then he pulls back and grasps her face with both of his hands and kisses her, hard. He has her, he has her. The torrent of emotion makes him lose his head and he's thrusting his tongue into her hot mouth before he can think better of it.

But, impossibly, she moans into the kiss, her tongue tangling with his. Oh, gods, he's never felt anything like this and his cock grows hard an insistent, straining against his trousers. She presses against him and the slight friction feels so good.

With as much intensity as the kiss began, he's pulling back and pinning her with his eyes. "You're mine, you hear me? Mine!"

She nods with huge eyes, and then he's kissing her again. Kissing her with all that he is, all that he's ever been.

Rey is his and he doesn't care about that other man. All that matters is she's in his arms and she's all his. He won't have to give her up.

She's his.


A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, my dear and precious friend!

Thank you, Readers! Clearly I have no self-control, as I keep writing even when I said I wouldn't. My hands are screaming but I don't care. Thank you so much for generously feeding my muse with your marvelous reviews!