"My boy," the voice whispers softly, pulling him from sleep. "Where have you been?" it asks with censure. It seems strained, even exhausted.

"I think it's time for you to leave; I don't need you anymore," Ben says, still groggy. He'd wanted to say something strong and clear, but the minute he heard the voice he'd felt young and foolish.

"Is that any way to talk to your only friend?" the voice asks, sounding almost hurt.

Ben wonders if that's really true. Tai and Voe had always tried to be his friend, but he'd shy away from them, convinced they didn't mean it. His history with the voice tumbles out in front of him and he sees, for the first time, how it has always nipped at his self-confidence.

"That's not true," Ben responds with more strength. "I have others in my life."

"Like your parents? Who shipped you off to Skywalker when they didn't want to handle you any longer?"

That hurts, because though things seem to be changing with his mom and dad, they had done that. He'd begged, cried, pleaded as much as his 10-year-old self could. He doesn't think his memory is that faulty.

"Don't you remember? Night after night I would stay up with you, listen to you," it croons.

"That was a long time ago," he says firmly, though he does feel guilty all of the sudden. The voice had saved him. Hadn't it?

"Is this about the girl?" it asks with a slight growl.

And that's when Ben knows, deep down, that the voice does not want what's best for him. It's clearly threatened by Rey and that tells him all he needs to know. Rey is everything good and right in his life.

"I'm not talking about her. You need to leave."

"Now, now. Let's not be hasty. Perhaps you just need time," the voice lilts.

"No. Thank you for what you've done for me, but I don't need you anymore."

"You've already said that," it says with a clipped tone. "And I don't believe you."

"You should. I don't want to force you from my mind, but I will."

His blood chills when the voice laughs. "Oh, Ben Solo, you do not begin to have the power."

"Watch me," he growls, focusing on the tether between he and Rey, throwing up every wall he can.

The voice is strained when it says, "I will come for you. You and Rey."

And then it's gone.

But he feels no relief because the voice knows her name.


"Rough night?" his father asks as he trudges to the galley to find breakfast.

"Hard to sleep without Rey," he grunts. He's shaken by what had transpired, but he knows his father is the last person who would understand a voice in his head for years.

Han purses his lips and hesitates for a moment before asking, "You slept okay, before, though, right? Now you're just missing your girl?"

Ben openly gapes at his father. "You don't remember?"

"What, when you were little? Leia always said it was just night terrors."

Ben swallows down his hurt and shakes his head. "No … they never went away."

"Even after you went to Luke?"

Scoffing, Ben says, "You say that like he welcomed me with open arms."

Han makes a face. "Didn't he?"

All Ben can do is snort. "No. He made it very clear I wasn't to expect special treatment."

His father looks genuinely troubled and Ben sees for the first time that perhaps he never knew how cold his supposed uncle had been.

His dad thrusts a cup of caf at him and says, "We're landing in a few minutes." His voice is gruff and Ben watches him retreat quickly.

How had he missed how much his father cares?


"Okay, this is the easy part of the job. We just gotta load the cargo," Han instructs.

Ben looks out at two pallets of around four dozen orchids. They're breathtaking, a deep purple with a golden center that draws him in like a supernova. He can feel the pulsing power of these flowers and he doesn't care what his father says, one of these is coming with him for Rey.

He goes to lift one tray of orchids, and he feels a strong sense of wariness. They're … afraid. He wants to soothe them, but he has no idea where they're headed. He tries to block out their cries as he carries them into the cargo hold.


"Dad … where are these going?" Ben asks, still unsettled.

"Research facility. On Kamino."

Ben frowns. He knows of Kamino. It's where the cloned troopers from the Empire came from. What would they want with Force sensitive orchids?

"Why couldn't they request them through official channels?"

Han shrugs. "Don't know. Didn't think about it. They want their flowers, they're getting them."

Ben tries to focus on guiding the Falcon away from the spaceport, but something about all of this feels important.


"This is the tricky part," Han says as they come up against the check-point. They wait in a long line of ships, hoping not to be inspected. "I need you to use the Force to hide these damned plants."

Ben blinks at his dad. "You might have mentioned it sooner," he grumbles.

"Gotta keep you on your toes," his father says with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah," Ben grouses. But he focuses and it doesn't take much to cloak the dim signature of the cargo.

As they pass through the gateway, Ben can't help but notice the stark white woman with pale violet hair. Her eyes are a piercing blue and she seems to stare into his soul. She holds his gaze as she nods and the Republic officer waves them through.

"There, easy as air cake!" Han exclaims. Ben isn't so sure ...

Then he turns to his father and asks, "And what would you have done if I hadn't decided to come?"

His father smiles widely. "Woulda been a longer trip."


"How long is it to Kamino?" Ben asks.

"Oh, day and a bit. It's past the Rishi Maze."

Ben nods. If they transfer the cargo quickly, he'll have Rey back in his arms by tomorrow night.

He catches his father's eyes. "We haven't discussed my fee."

"Oh ho! Look who's getting big for his britches!"

"I know I saved you time at the very least. I only want one thing."

"Alright, kid. What d'ya want?"

"One of those orchids. For Rey."

Han chuckles. "Yeah. Okay."

Ben blinks. He'd expected more of a fight.

"What? You think I don't like to bring your mom flowers?" Han says defensively.


The hum of hyperspace has his eyes drooping, and then he remembers how Rey had appeared the night before. Maybe the bond needs for him to be alone. "I think I'm gonna turn in," he says to his father.

Han yawns and says, "Yeah, me too. No reason to just watch hyperspace go by."

As they both make their way to their cabins, Han stops him. "I know you're meant for more than your dad's scoundrel life … but I was real proud of you today."

A lump instantly forms in his throat. When he was a boy, all he'd wanted to do was pilot the Falcon and follow his father anywhere. It was only after he'd watched his father leave for the dozenth time that he'd focused on his mother's path.

He could press his father, hold him to account. But all he can remember is the scene Rey had shown him, and instead he grasps his father's shoulder.

"I love you, Dad," he says, with tears threatening to fall.

He's surprised when his father pulls him into a quick hug. "Me, too," he says with a gruff voice.

Neither of them acknowledge how they wipe their eyes as they go to their berths.


He pauses as he's about to change into his sleeping pants. He really doesn't want Rey to see him with his backside hanging out. But he doesn't sense her, so he swiftly pulls on his sleeping attire.

Punching his pillow, he accepts it was too much to hope that he'd see her again. But he doesn't give himself any relief, too afraid the Force would connect them. The thought is both humiliating and titillating. If she caught him, would she … help?


His head splits open with the invasion. He sees his older self, his face hard, determined. But he feels as his consciousness invades Rey's.

"I know you've seen the map. And now you'll give it to me."

Who is this man that he became, who can be so cold with her? Wasn't he feeling the ardent pull, the need for her? And yet he'd still strapped her down and taken from her.

But then the dream, the nightmare shifts, and it's his own familiar face snarling with intent as he roots through her mind.

It hurts, gods, it hurts! He can feel the tears streaming down her face, how she fights him. He's never known betrayal like this.

Rey's scream rips him from sleep and he's instantly alert. She's thrashing in the bed next to him, and he quickly shakes her awake. Somehow, he's shared her dream, and the Force has brought her to him.

When her eyes spring open, they're full of pure terror and she bolts from the berth, skittering away from me. "Get—out—of—my—head," she growls.

"Rey! It was a nightmare!"

"Was it? Or was it a memory!" she spits, making Ben blink. She's right. She cowers in the corner, her hands held up defensively. "I tried to hide in the joy of you, I really did. But I can't make myself forget what you did!"

"In the future, I invaded your mind. When I hurt you, it was the second time," he confirms.

"You taunted me, tormented me!" she snarls, her back against the durasteel. She's still trembling in fear and he's never known such shame and regret.

"I'm sorry!" The words are pale and wholly inadequate.

"You're sorry." Her voice drips with disdain. "But you did it again! I trusted you, and you still did that to me!"

"I didn't know," he moans.

"So that makes it alright?! I can't believe I let myself trust you again."

He feels rudderless, fighting against something he doesn't understand and he tries to approach her. "Tell me, tell me what else I did to you in the future … the past."

"Besides take Han from me?" she throws at him.

"I won't, I swear, I won't."

"How can I believe you? You broke into my mind! The first time we were enemies, but the second time … we're closer than lovers, friends, family. You know that and you still did that to me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"That's not enough!" she bellows.

He goes on his knees in front of her. "Tell me, tell me how to fix this."

"You can't. Don't you see? You broke me, Ben. I can't stop seeing your face as you stole my mind's sanctity from me! It was like seeing him again."

"Who? My future self?"

She sneers, "Kylo Ren."

That name … Kylo. He'd made it up as a boy … is he some kind of Darth Vader in the future? Who had he become?

"I'll never be like him. I'll never fail you like that."

"I want to believe you, I truly do. But how can I trust you ever again? Do you have any idea how hard it was to reconcile my feelings for you to the dark man that you were? This time, the light in you, it's blinding. But you still broke into my mind. Not Kylo Ren. Ben. You. You did that."

His chest feels like it's caving in on itself as he sees the depth of his depravity, what he truly did to her.

"I … I didn't know the dark side could do that to me," he says softly. Still on his knees, he tries to reach for her, but she gives him a warning look.

"Don't. Don't blame the dark side. You still made that choice," she says miserably.

"I know. And I'll regret it for the rest of my days. But … now I know. I know what the dark side will cost me. I won't turn. I couldn't. Not if it means losing you."

"I need to be able to trust you. Do you know how desperately I need that?" she asks, her tears falling freely.

Hesitantly, he stands and approaches her. He's not even a little prepared for how she flings herself into his arms. "Do you have any idea, any idea at all how mad you make me feel? I can't trust you but all I want is to be in your arms."

"You can, you can trust me," he murmurs into her hair.

"But I can't. Not really. I see the path you're walking, even if you can't."

"I do. I see it," he says with a firm voice. "And tonight I turned away from it."

"How, how can you even know that?"

He pulls back and looks into her eyes intensely.

"There's something I need to tell you."


A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, for helping especially with flow on this chapter.

Thank you, Readers! Well, couldn't seem to take the day off, but it's going to happen eventually. Thank you all so much for coming on this journey with me!