"I don't know when it started, the voice was always there."

"Voice?" she asks, still in his arms and looking up to his face.

"Yes, in my head. For years it was my only friend. It would comfort me, make me feel better when I was so alone." He doesn't know how to explain to his orphaned girl how utterly alone he had been and he feels a spike of shame.

Rey goes pale and her eyes wide. "Since you were a child?" she whispers. Her fingers dig into his biceps, and he can feel her fear for him.

He nods. "I thought … I thought it wanted to help me. When I would struggle with something with the Force, it always knew how to fix it."

"By using the dark," Rey says, not phrasing it like a question. Her fingers continue to clutch at him. His shame only grows as he sees so clearly how the voice had so effectively manipulated him into doing what it wanted.

"Sometimes," he admits. "And I'm still not sure the dark side is evil. It might just be different. But whatever the voice wants from me, that, that I can't trust."

Rey pulls from him and holds her head. She can't go far in the small extra room on the Falcon. To herself she says, "This is so much worse than I'd ever imagined." Then she turns back to him, her hands making a pleading gesture. "Why didn't you tell your parents?"

That makes Ben sigh. "Things weren't … great with them when I was young. I was raised by droids more than them." Cold metal, toneless voices. And always, always hoping for his mother to come home in time for dinner.

Rey frowns, but doesn't argue with him.

"I just … I liked having something that was only mine. And the voice told me if I told anyone it would have to leave me." He still remembers the terror his younger self had felt at the prospect.

"Oh, Ben." She steps up to him and strokes his face. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me you're from my future?" he flares.

"That's fair … but you can trust me."

"And you can trust me. I'm not going to hide anything from you ever again. I'll always talk to you." He sighs. "I didn't tell you because I've never talked to anyone about the voice, about how hard I struggle. I … I don't really know how. But I'm committed to finding that out, to learn to share myself with you."

She makes a small smile. "I'm not great at talking about myself, either. But we'll figure it out. Together."

"Together," he repeats, his hands pulling her closer to him.

"Tell me more about the voice," she asks with a touch of fear.

"It … it told me I was meant for great things, that in time, it would train me. When I was ready."

True fear fills her eyes. "Snoke," she murmurs.

Ben looks at her quizzically. He'd met a man named Snoke, once. A strange old Force user that Luke had invited to the temple. He was a horticulturist of some kind, using the Force to grow stunning plants.

"Who's Snoke?" Ben asks, though he can feel in the Force they're the same man.

"Your master," she spits with true loathing.

"In the future?" Wait … was it that twisted man he'd seen in her nightmares? He supposes he looked a bit like the Snoke he met, but he was desiccated, mangled.

"Yes. I don't know much, but I know you fell to the dark side when you were 23." She clings to him, and somehow that makes the horror she's unfolding bearable. "This means he … he'd been in your life for so much longer than I knew. I came back as far as I could, I thought four years before you fell was enough time to stop it."

"It was, Rey. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I told the voice to leave, that I didn't need it any longer."

"Snoke won't let you go so easily," she says with a certainty that chills him.

"I pushed him out, I focused on our bond."

Her eyes grow so sad. Then she pulls him to the little berth and encourages him to sit. She joins him, looking at him with anguish. "Ben … there are some things you need to know."


All he can do is sit, stunned. How had become that man? Things had never been good between him and his uncle, but for Luke to be so terrified of him that he wanted him dead? What must he have seen in his head?

"I destroyed the temple?" he asks with a quavering voice.

"That's what Luke told me."

"And I killed … I killed them?" It makes his stomach turn. He can't imagine killing anyone, and certainly not his fellow students. And the children, gods, the children!

"I don't know what really happened. I'm not sure Luke can be trusted. But I'm sure the voice is Snoke. He boasted about being able to see into your mind, know your every intent."

Something in the Force is unsettled, as if this isn't the whole story. "Is there anything you aren't telling me?"

"That's everything I know about your fall to the dark side."

"Why didn't you tell me?" That she's known this about him the whole time feels like a stone in his belly. What else does she know? He's feeling betrayed by Rey, and it pulls at all his insecurities.

"I … I didn't want you to have to know what you became. That burden … I was afraid it might influence you." He pushes down his sense of broken trust and tries to see what she must have been going through and he needs to help.

"But, Rey … you carry that burden. I don't want you to carry it alone. I don't really want to know what I did in the future, but I think I need to. It hurts you, and on some level, I think you hold me responsible."

She grasps his hand swiftly. "I don't!"

"Yet tonight you clearly blamed me for when I went into your head, the … first time." It's difficult to know how to talk about things that haven't happened yet, things he swears he won't let happen. "Rey … what else did I do to you?"

"We did a lot to each other," she says with a wince. "I'll tell you, I will, but we need to talk about Snoke. He's coming for you, I'm sure of it."

Remembering the voice's final words, he says, "I think he'll try to get to me through you."

She looks exceptionally hurt when she asks, "You told him about me?"

"No! I swear. I would never. Somehow, I knew I couldn't trust him with you, what you mean to me."

"Then … how?"

"There are others that he talks to … it could be anyone that was at the temple, or even at the apartment. All my mom's aides know about you." He pushes away the sense of hurt he feels at the knowledge he wasn't Snoke's only friend, that there were other boys.

"So it could be anyone."

"Yes. And they might not even know they're being manipulated. I didn't until you came."

"Why did that change things?" she asks with interest.

He shrugs. "I think … I think it's because I wasn't alone any longer."

"Oh, Ben … you're not alone."

"Neither are you," he says and Rey inhales sharply.

"I said that to you, once." Her expression is wistful and he again feels a wave of envy for his future self. She shares something with him that he'll never experience. It's a queer sort of duality.

"How did … if I was so lost to the dark, how did this," He gestures between them. "Even happen?"

"I know you deserve the whole story, but … we don't know how long we have before the bond pulls us apart. I need … I need you to hold me."

He'll never deny her, so he pulls her into his arms and encourages her to lie back in his berth. She quickly maneuvers herself until they're wrapped around each other and they both sigh out with the feeling of connection.

"Holding you … it's like I feel peace for the first time, every time," he breathes out.

"I know. I love you, Ben."

"Oh, Rey … I love you so much."


The Force had been kind to them, they'd fallen asleep tangled together and he wakes feeling fully rested.

There's a great deal to think about. And he has more questions than he can even articulate. But telling her about the voice had been such a relief that he feels light on his feet and oddly joyful. She's right, the voice, Snoke, he's not done with Ben, but he's taken that crucial first step.

As he enters the main cabin, his father looks up from his cup of caf. "Well don't you look chipper this morning! I figured you'd be pining for your girl by now."

Ben pauses. Should he explain about how Rey appears to him? He's not sure he'll understand, but then he considers how many secrets there are in his family. "Turns out the 'dyad thingie' has some excellent benefits," he says with a grin.

Raising an eyebrow, Han says, "Do I want to know this?"

"Dad, not everything is about sex."

Han snorts. "Sure was when I was 19!"

"Anyway, Rey and I appear to each other when we're apart."

Han looks around swiftly. "She here now?"

"No … no. It only seems to happen when we're alone. We can't control it."

"Huh." Then Han goes back to his caf and his datapad.

Ben sighs and shakes his head. Some things never change.


They're piloting the Falcon to the landing pad at a huge structure in the middle of Kamino's treacherous seas. Torrential rain pelts down and Ben pays close attention to their landing vector. The wind is making everything that much trickier.

Once safely landed, Ben goes to the cargo hold and selects an orchid for Rey. It's not the most beautiful, but it calls to him, so he takes it to his room, securing it away.

"They're here!" his dad calls, and Ben rushes back to help with the trays of flowers.

There are two men in black uniforms with an insignia he doesn't recognize and he takes an instant dislike to them. They look like the imperials of old and a shudder goes up his spine.

They're accompanied by a tall, willowy alien with a shockingly long neck and pale skin. "Welcome to Kamino," she says with a lilting voice.

"Got your flowers," Han says, the rain soaking both he and Ben to the bone.

The uniformed men push a hover cart forward and begin to load the precious cargo. They again call out to Ben, but he does his best to ignore them, making him feel incredibly guilty.

"Your payment," the tall woman says, handing Han a small credit box.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Han says and turns to get back to the Falcon. "Come on, Ben."

But Ben's feet are rooted to the spot. "What are the orchids for?" he asks.

The Kaminoan looks to the two officers. One of them growls, "Research."

Han pulls at him. "Let's go, kid."

Ben keeps looking over his shoulder as they walk up the ramp.


"What was that about? We don't ask questions," Han admonishes.

"Something isn't right about this. The orchids, they were afraid."

"They're just a bunch of plants," Han dismisses. "None of our business, anyway."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Ben says under his breath.


It's late when they arrive, well past dinner time. He hopes she ate. Rey is waiting for them on the landing pad and she looks almost as excited as he feels. The bond can't snatch her away, now.

She flies into his arms as soon as he's halfway down the ramp and he catches her laughing. Capturing her lips, he kisses her deeply. And keeps kissing her until his father says, "Still gotta exit the ship, kids."

He keeps his arm around her as they make their way the rest of the way down.

Ben wants to take her and run to what's become their room. Maybe he'll finally get to … but his distinctly carnal thoughts are interrupted by his dad. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

He looks around, confused.

"Her present?"

"Right!" He squeezes Rey before pulling away. "I'll be right back." Then he's scrambling back up the ramp and rushing to his berth. The orchid looks perfect and he scoops it up, nearly running back to Rey.

Rey has a perplexed look on her face when he walks up to her, hiding the flower behind his back.

"Ben?"

"This is for you," he says, producing her gift with a flourish.

"Oh!" she squeals. "It's gorgeous." Then she senses its dim connection to the Force. "What …?"

"It's mildly Force sensitive. You'll bond with it in time, might be able to even communicate with it."

"Oh, Ben … this is perfect. Thank you."

"You're perfect," he enthuses.

Han chuckles. "Okay, you two, let's get inside before you make me sick."


His mother is in the foyer and she smiles widely when she sees them. "My men!" she exclaims.

Ben makes a face when his father picks his mother up and spins her around, planting a very eager kiss on her lips. He hadn't thought that maybe his father was missing his mother the way he missed Rey.

Leia eventually pushes him away and goes up to Ben, holding her arms open. He bends down, giving her a warm hug. "Welcome back," she says, kissing his cheek. "Have any trouble?"

"Nope, kid's a champ," Han answers for him.

"Did you eat already?" Leia asks and Ben smiles. It's nice to have her mother him.

"Yes, Mom." He looks at Rey with a bit of concern. "Did you?"

"Don't worry. Your mom seems to like to feed me, too."

Ben nods. "Good, good."

Then Han takes Leia's hand and yawns theatrically. "I don't know about you kids, but I'm beat." He raises his eyebrows at Leia with invitation. "How about you, your worshipfullness?"

"Subtle, you old scoundrel."

"Not that old," he growls.

Ben tries not to hear how his mom giggles as they make their way to their room.


He's not even a little tired, so he takes Rey to the family room. He wants to kiss her silly and he's actually relieved his parents went to bed.

But then he pauses as he's leading her to the large seating area. "Are you ready for bed?"

She looks at him coyly. "I'm ready for you. I don't care where."

Well, alright then. He sits down and he's surprised when she straddles his lap, facing him. Then she's kissing him like they haven't seen each other in months. Between caresses, she moans, "I missed you so much."

"I," kiss, "missed," kiss, "you," kiss, "too."

Her top is loose and gauzy, and he couldn't help but notice how her nipples pressed against the fabric while they were outside in the brisk air.

Just when he thinks he could kiss her forever, she pleads, "Touch me."

His eyes bulge out and he pulls back to see her face. "You mean …?"

"Please, Ben." Her needful tone makes his belly flip with delicious tension.

Slowly, his hands slide up her back, finding it completely bare. She'd planned this, clearly. He strokes along the impossibly soft skin, amazed that there's so much of her available to his greedy hands.

Her back arches, and she grinds down on his very ready length. Oh, gods, if she keeps doing that he's going to finish in his trousers. But then she makes a high, desperate whine and he cautiously begins to draw one hand around her side.

She keeps moving herself along him and he can barely think when he finally, finally feels her naked breast for the first time. Her nipple is hard against his palm and she instructs, "Both hands."

Oh, this is the best day of his life and he uses his other hand to find her second delicious breast. She kisses him, hard, as he fondles the wonderful weight in his hands.

"Gods, Rey," he gasps out.

"Play with them," she whines and he doesn't have to be told twice, beginning to stroke her nipples.

She cries out, and he immediately stops. "Did I hurt you?"

"Gods, no. Do it again."

Obediently, like the fascinated man he is, he swirls his fingers around the temptingly hardening flesh. He groans into her mouth, imagining what it would be like to see.

As if she's heard his thoughts, she shifts away briefly, sitting back on his thighs. With a growl, she pulls her shirt over her head and there they are.

He's never seen anything more beautiful in his life. The tightened pink skin of her nipples makes him want to latch on and suck in an instinctual way he wasn't at all prepared for. His hands are still cupping them and she wriggles on his lap, jolting him forward.

As she drags herself along his aching cock, he realizes he really is going to come if she keeps doing that.

"Rey!" he gasps out.

"What, what is it?" she asks as she continues her movements.

"I'm gonna, oh hell, Rey you have to stop. I'm gonna, I'm gonna," then all he can do is make an inarticulate strangled sound.

She places her hands over his, encouraging him to knead at the fantastic weight filling his palms. Desperately, he tries to calm himself down as he fondles her magnificent breasts.

Leaning forward, she growls, "I want you too."

Her breath in his ear is all it takes, and his orgasm rips through him with such force he can't quite see for a moment. He squeezes her breasts and is lost on the tide of sensation as he calls out her name.

"Yes," she purrs.

He blinks as he comes down from his high and is immediately aware of two things. One, she's been left wanting and two, he now has a tremendous mess in his pants.

His cheeks burn with humiliation. But he'd been wanting her so much, he just couldn't control himself.

"Shhhh," she soothes, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Don't. Whatever you're thinking, don't."

"But … it's not fair."

"We'll get there. Besides, I do know how to look after myself. Maybe I'll take a bath before bed," she says with heavy insinuation.

Great. Now all he can think about is Rey naked with her hand between her legs.

She's going to be the death of him.


A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, for always making time for me.

Thank you, Readers! I give up trying to know what I'll do with this posting schedule. I love your reviews! Please know that I read them all the minute they hit my inbox and they make me so, so happy. Mwa mwa mwa!