"Betrothed?" Rey asks, her face unreadable.

Ben's hand goes to one of his braids and through the panic he tries to explain. "It's my hair."

"You had me braid your hair to say you're betrothed?" she asks with a spike of fury.

"I didn't think it would matter! There isn't a braid for what we are."

"And what are we?"

"Uhm. Well," he stammers. He doesn't really know how to answer that. He knows what he wants them to be, who she is to him, but this is all spiraling so badly. He takes a deep breath. "Your hair means that we're in … discussions." Her braids truly mean that their families are negotiating their engagement, but it's so antiquated it has come to mean that she is simply considering marriage.

"Discussions?" she prods.

"Yes … to formalize an arrangement," he says stiffly, falling back on precise language.

"Oh, so my hair has been saying that I'm nearly engaged?" she clarifies with fire in her eyes.

That she seems so upset hurts, and he flares back with, "Well, there isn't a braid for girlfriend! And anyway … aren't you?"

"I don't remember you asking me."

"I thought … I thought it was implied," he defends.

"Ben, we've never talked about it."

"We share a soul! Of course we'll get married." Won't they? Oh, gods, he's not sure he'd survive if she doesn't want to marry him.

Her lips thin and she takes a deep breath. "I need some air."

And with that, she walks out to the terrace, leaving Ben with his heart cracking and his insecurity threatening to overwhelm him. He wants to follow her, do a better job of explaining how this happened, but her straight, proud back seals his feet to the floor.

How could he have been so stupid? He didn't think it through. He never does.

He's deep in self-recriminations when his mother comes up to his side. "I take it Rey figured out about your braids?"

Sullenly, Ben answers, "Yeah."

Leia's eyes grow thoughtful. "Well, a girl does like to be asked."

Wait. Is that why she's angry? Because he didn't ask her properly? Then it hits him, what he's taken from her. Of course she deserves for him to speak his heart, ask her to be his forever. He hadn't really meant to avoid the conversation, but he had sort of just … assumed.

Are there even courting traditions on Jakku? Is there something she'd been hoping for her whole life and he's bungled it horribly?

"Ben, dear. Come back. Your eyes are almost falling out of your head with panic."

"I've cocked this up, Mom."

"Yes, you have a bit. When I saw the braids, I'll admit I thought you'd at least had a conversation?" She phrases it like a question.

"No," he admits miserably. "But she's … we're a dyad! Doesn't that mean something?"

"Of course it does. But she's still a 20-year-old girl with dreams of her own. Just over a year ago her entire life was upended and she crossed time to be with you. Maybe she deserves a little normalcy."

He rubs his face with his hands. He's royally screwed this up and he just wants to take back the evening, get it right. He laughs mirthlessly at himself. His uncle probably won't sacrifice himself so that he can propose to Rey the way he should have.

"You're right. As always," Ben sighs out.

"Don't worry too much about it. There are plenty of opportunities to make an event of it."

He furrows his brow and asks, "What do you mean?"

"Oh, an Alderaanian engagement is very elaborate. Especially for the last prince."

"How elaborate?" he asks with real fear.

"Well, let's just your father wasn't broken up about the war getting in the way of our engagement."

Ben looks to the ceiling and groans.


Cautiously, he steps out onto the terrace to find Rey holding herself tightly. She's shivering and he can't have that, so he shrugs off his outer tunic, coming up behind her as he moves.

She glances at him and her shoulders droop, but she doesn't fight him when he places the garment around her trembling body.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs.

"For what?" she asks softly.

"For not explaining clearly about the braids. For assuming … assuming you want what I do. For not making my intentions plain."

She turns towards him then, and her eyes are liquid with emotion. "You really want to marry me?"

"Rey … of course I do. The moment I met you it was like I handed you my heart. It's yours to do with what you will."

"But you've only known me for a few months," she argues with no real fight.

"And we can take as long as we want. But it won't change how I feel about you."

"It might," she whispers. He can sense the scouring sands of Jakku scraping through her and he tentatively, carefully, puts his arms around her.

She doesn't pull away, but she doesn't settle into his embrace like she usually does.

"I do … I do want to be with you, always." She lets out a humorless laugh. "I bet everything I had left on making your life better, but …"

He cups her face and this time she returns his affection, nuzzling into his hand.

"But?" he presses.

Her eyes are huge with sadness and … shame? She shudders out a breath before quietly admitting, "I still miss him."

That, that hits him in his tenderest of places. Will he ever be enough? How can he compete with a man who literally died for her? Does it matter that he would, too? But he swallows it down like broken glass and keeps his face neutral.

"Tell me about him," he requests gently.

"I … I … I don't know how."

He tries to keep from reacting, but he can't suppress everything, and she sees him flinch. Her face crumbles and she turns away from him.

"Stay, stay with me," he pleads.

Her voice is hollow when she finally begins to speak again. "I had so many dreams of what might happen with him, dreams I tried not to have but couldn't stop. And now … now you're making them come true and I feel … I feel guilty."

She feels guilty for wanting him? Loving him?

His storm breaks over him and the urge to run is intense. The need to scream is nearly overpowering. But he keeps breathing steadily and waits, waits to see what she'll say next. He's promised not to abandon her when his turmoil threatens him and he's going to show that being with her is all that truly matters to him.

"You make me so happy," she murmurs, helping him find his center before she pushes him off axis again. "And his whole life was just suffering."

Still she's thinking of him when he's right here! They're the same person!

He keeps focusing on his breathing and eventually he finds what he wants to say. "But … you've changed it. Don't you see? You saved me, Rey. You saved him. I could more easily cut off my own hand than turn to the dark side, now."

She peers over at him with a small smile. "Maybe don't say that, considering Luke."

His lips curve into an answering expression of morbid humor. "Yeah, okay."

She takes a deep breath. "I do … I do want to marry you, but it's all too soon. And … well, it would have been nice if you'd …" She trails off, looking out on the night sky.

"If I'd asked you? Properly?"

Rey shrugs with one shoulder, dipping her head. "I never thought it mattered to me. On Jakku we didn't do much, but someone would at least ask, make a small gift."

His mind immediately fills with all the ways he could request her hand. But it's clear that Rey just isn't ready. And maybe, he isn't, either. He's in no position to ensure a comfortable life for her, maybe waiting actually makes sense when he can quiet the desperate need to bind her to him in every way he can imagine.

"It's enough to know you want what I want," he says to her as much as to himself. Because there's still Snoke, and they are so very young. "Someday, I'll ask you."

She turns to him fully, putting her arms around his waist and he holds her close as she looks up into his face, her eyes clear and honest. "And someday, I'll say yes."

They search each other's eyes before meeting to seal their promise with a deep kiss.


On the ride home, Poe falls asleep against the speeder door while Leia leans with her head on Han's shoulder. Rey is cuddled next to him and he tries to find that moment of contentment from the terrace.

But he can't stop worrying at all she won't say about his future self. He knows she needs time, but it leaves him feeling like he had as a child, waiting for his parents to come home. He's always, always left wanting.

Is he being selfish? Is he even being rational? He knows Rey loves him. He can feel it when they kiss and see it in how she looks at him.

However, he can't stop the nagging feeling that she'd loved his other self more.


They no longer ready for bed separately, and he helps Rey take off her gown. There's a strange distance between them that he doesn't know how to cross, however. While she's changing into her nightgown—a lovely ivory confection that would have all of his attention under normal circumstances—he begins to undo one of his braids.

It hurts, as if he's unraveling his dreams with each twist of his hair, and it feels as if he's only adding to the opening chasm. He's so lost in his thoughts that he starts when he feels her hand close over his.

"Leave them," she instructs.

"But … you know what they mean."

"I know what they mean to me. Leave them." Then she's rebraiding the end and fastening it swiftly. "Besides, I'd like to see that Twi'lek's face if she ever sees your braids." Her smirk is so wicked that all he can do is snort in laughter.

Then she sits at his desk and hands him a brush. "Help me take down my hair?"

"Of course," he responds, eager to feel her tresses between his fingers. He loves playing with her deep brown locks.

Quietly, he pulls out the pins and his breath hitches as her hair tumbles to her shoulders. He hesitates at her braids and she turns, catching his eyes. "Leave them, too."

Swallowing past a lump in his throat at her gesture, he begins to brush. He doesn't stop until she's nearly purring in pleasure. Ben continues to play with her hair, however, a deep satisfaction filling him each time he draws her braids through his fingers.


Well, alright, maybe the whisky hadn't been the best idea he'd ever had. He has a slight headache when they pad into the kitchen and he blinks when he finds Poe mixing up something for breakfast. He hadn't realized Poe was staying with them.

"How ya feelin', Benny?" Poe asks.

"Better before you called me 'Benny'," he says with a sulk.

"Awe, come on! I've always called you 'Benny'!"

Ben gives him a withering look and Rey just laughs at him. "Yeah, come on, Benny," she teases.

"Nope, not from you. Not from either of you!" he protests loudly.

That's when Han wanders in, wincing. "Please, Son, my head can't take the yelling," he pleads.

"Be nice to your father," Rey admonishes then whispers, "Benny."

He snags her around the waist and murmurs in her ear, "If you ever want me to do that thing with my tongue ever again, that name dies today."

Rey looks at him with wide eyes and nods quickly.

"What's my name?" he growls before nipping her earlobe.

"Ben, your name is Ben," she shudders out for his hearing alone.

Squeezing her behind, he praises, "Good girl."

Then he flashes Poe a grin, behaving like nothing has happened. Rey blinks rapidly then seems to wake up from her trance and goes to get a cup of caf.

He moves to the stovetop, standing next to Poe, leaning over to inspect what he's cooking.

Poe regards him with a new respect. "I didn't know you had it in ya, Ben."

Ben only nods once curtly.


After breakfast, he and Poe find themselves at loose ends in the family room. His mother had wanted time with Rey and his father had gone back to bed.

"Didn't know you were staying with us," Ben says.

"Yeah … things are a little strange with my dad. He's getting serious with someone and …" he trails off.

"You miss your mom." Poe lost his mother when he'd been just a boy and for the first time Ben is able to see why his own mother might have stepped in. He'd always thought Poe was the son they'd wished they had, but now with his head free of Snoke, he's seeing things very differently.

"Hey, wanna play Sabacc?" Poe asks, clearly not wanting to talk about his family.

"Uh, sure," Ben agrees. He's not very familiar with the game, Luke had frowned on it. "I might need a refresher on the rules."

Poe grins widely. "I'll have you able to beat Han in no time," he boasts.

"Don't say that too loudly …" Ben warns as he pulls out the cards from the game cabinet.


"Are you cheating?" Poe asks with a frown as Ben wins again.

Ben makes an innocent face and shakes his head. "I wouldn't even know how."

He's not cheating, but he has figured out if he keeps track of the cards, he can make a fairly educated guess about what's coming next.


Ben makes a bad call, and Poe crows in delight.

"Let's up the stakes!" Poe suggests.

He's having a good time and realizing that Poe might truly be his friend. He fingers one of his braids and decides why not. What's the worst that can happen?

"Sure, what have you got in mind?"

"Whoever wins gets to ask a question!" Poe smiles eagerly.

Sitting back, Ben considers. He knows Poe will ask about Rey, that's just how he is. However, he likes talking about her. Then his eyes narrow.

"Fine. But no questions about my personal relationship with Rey."

"Awe, you're no fun. But okay."


Ben wins first and he finds there's actually quite a bit he'd like to know. Then he remembers what Poe had said the night before, and his curiosity gets the better of him.

"What did you mean last night, about wanting to be me?"

Poe looks at him like he's an idiot. "Oh, I don't know. You have both your parents, are crazy strong with the Force, and now you have an actual sunbeam as your girlfriend."

Hearing it laid out so plainly makes Ben pause, considering his own wishes as a child.

"Huh … I always wanted to be you," Ben admits.

His friend snorts loudly. "Why in the galaxy would you want that?"

Ben shrugs. "You're just like my dad. I thought … I thought it would be easier."

Sighing, Poe says, "Nah. I might have tried to be like him, but you … you're the Solo here. Trust me, you're your father's son."

Not knowing what to say to that, Ben just shuffles the cards.


"My turn!" Poe announces obnoxiously.

Ben braces for some invasive question, so he's surprised when Poe asks, "What's up with the braids? I know they mean something; I just can't remember what."

Smiling widely, Ben leans forward. "They mean that I'm Rey's and she's mine."

Poe's brow furrows. "But that Castalto said something about being betrothed. You didn't knock—"

"No!" Ben exclaims, not wanting Poe to even finish the sentence. He'd never be so careless with Rey.

"Okay … but … betrothed? That's a big deal."

"I suppose that's what they mean, strictly speaking. But for us … they mean someday."

Poe lets out a sigh of obvious relief. "Phew! I'm way too young to even think about my friends getting married. But someday, I can handle that."

"I'm so happy you approve," Ben says with a sour expression. But he can't hold it for long, because now he knows Rey does want to spend her life with him. Someday.

Ben's chest expands to let this new knowledge plant itself within him and he feels so much of his fear just melt away.

Someday.


A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare. I would be lost at sea without you.

Thank you, Readers! Your enthusiasm keeps me writing, it really does. Thank you, thank you, thank you!