"How long is my mom gonna keep Rey?" Ben grumbles. His head is beginning to really throb. He hadn't had that much to drink. Had he?
"So sorry you have to put up with me," Poe deadpans.
They'd grown sick of cards, and the holo emitter babbles in the background, but Ben isn't really paying attention, too focused on missing Rey. He doesn't like being away from her.
Rubbing his temples, Ben gets up and starts to pace.
"Hey, you okay?" Poe asks.
"It's mid-day, they've been in there for hours." He hadn't just whined. Had he?
"Oh, who knows what women talk about. Just enjoy the freedom!"
Ben shoots him a withering look. "It doesn't feel like freedom to me. It feels like …" Then his mouth snaps shut. He might be feeling better about Poe in general, but not enough to tell him how Rey had shined light into his dark, terrifying life. Without her, he can feel the walls closing in again, and his hands curl in frustration.
He's about to storm into his mother's office when Rey bounds into the family room. Instantly, his head begins to feel better and he rushes to wrap himself around her, making her squawk.
"Ben?"
"I just missed you," he mumbles into her hair while his hand finds one of her braids, stroking it softly.
She returns his embrace and a wave of love hits him through their bond. "It's okay, I understand," she whispers into his ear.
He suddenly feels ridiculous, clinging to her like a little child, and he steps back, smiling at her sheepishly.
Then he cringes, remembering that Poe is right there. Great, more for him to tease him about. But when he looks over at his friend, Poe looks almost awe-struck.
"What?" Ben asks, still bracing for something snide.
Poe shakes his head. "I dunno … there's just something about you two. Makes me ... hope."
His wistful tone makes Ben look at him more closely. Is it possible Poe really wants to find someone? He'd always thought his friend would laugh at him for his furtive dreams.
But then Han comes in, breaking the moment. "Hey, kids. Since you're not doing anything, come help me with the Falcon? Hyperdrive is on the blink."
"Again," Ben interjects.
Han holds up his finger and points at Ben. "Don't you start."
Ben had been hoping to curl up on the settee with Rey, but she's already moving to join Han.
They'd spent the afternoon tinkering, leaving Rey absolutely covered in grease. All he could do was grin at her as she managed to make it even worse when she'd tried to wipe her face. He'd very much wanted to join her in the shower, but he hadn't wanted to be too obvious about it.
Then it had been time for dinner, which seemed to go on and on. And on. So, when he finally gets Rey alone, he's absolutely desperate to touch her. He hasn't been able to shake this needy feeling, and though it embarrasses him to have to be with her so much, once they're in their bedroom, he kisses her fiercely.
It's not that he's lost to lust, it's that he needs to be close, feel her skin against his. He doesn't care if he finds his pleasure, Ben just wants to feel hers course through him. He almost wants to abandon his plans for something special and make love to her right now.
Because he's made entirely of longing and emptiness, and only Rey can quench this frantic thirst.
He's already pawing at her clothes and she looks into his eyes, "What is it?"
"I need you," he answers urgently, his gaze burning and hungry.
"I'm right here."
"I need to feel you, to touch you," he clarifies.
She nods and begins to help him remove her garments.
Maker, she's perfect. He has her laid out before him, beautifully bare to his starving gaze. His hands tremble as he begins to limn her body. It feels like their bond is streaming between his fingertips and her soft skin.
He stretches out beside her and inhales sharply at the sensation of all of her pressed to his naked flesh, and some of the frenzy that's been building within him finally begins to subside. Yes. This is what he needs. Just Rey.
Stars are born and die underneath his hands as he continues to stroke her. At first, he simply feels her taut muscles and the slight softness his constant care of her has yielded. Then his lips join his hands and he purrs, "I'm going to kiss every part of you."
"Mmmmm," she hums in agreement.
"I want your pleasure. I need it." His voice is almost otherworldly. Her fingers find his proud erection and she begins to stroke, but he stills her hand. "No. This is just for you."
She whimpers out, "I like to touch you."
"Let me worship you. Please," he entreats, holding her eyes, willing her to understand how deep this craving goes.
Her eyes go from pleading to understanding and she nods slowly.
He returns to kissing along all of her silken skin and he's beyond eager to dive his face between her folds, but he wants to make this last.
So he caresses an adoring path around her firm, exquisite breasts, never straying to the straining, puckered flesh. Then he finally allows himself the fulfillment of her tight little nipples, sucking on one deeply while swirling the other with his fingers.
Her back curves and she presses into him, her moans growing needy. She's shifting, rubbing her thighs together and he can feel her desire almost demanding to be heeded, so he kisses a trail between her breasts, down along her slight belly.
Her scent hits him and he smiles, languidly taking his journey as she whines out, "Please."
Caressing along the space just above the thatch of curls covering her beauty, he strokes his hand up from her knee, up, up, up. So slow, so full of intent.
"Please," she begs.
He can't torture either of them any longer. He'd wanted to kiss along her thighs, open her slowly, but it's too much for him now that he can smell her.
Swiftly, he moves between her legs and with as much calculated precision as he'd travelled her, his frenzy is equally messy.
He buries his face into her heat, covering himself in her abundance. She's so wet.
For him.
It fills him with pride to know he can make her feel so good, give her some small glimpse into what she means to him, just how complete his devotion is for her. Because she's everything to him. He could spend his life right here and it would never be enough. Show her every miracle in the galaxy, and it would all be pale and dim next to his love.
Eagerly, he laps at her, reveling in the feeling of that tight bundle of nerves, how it twitches and quivers under his tongue, losing himself in her feminine taste. Her hands find his hair and he groans as she presses his face fully into her.
Yes.
Wanting to feel her tightness around his fingers, imagine himself inside her, he delves one, then two fingers deep inside and she keens. Gods, he loves that sound, the way she's helpless before him.
Her walls are already clenching down on his hand, so he slows, making her whine. Not yet. Not yet. He needs more of her cries, more of her hips moving against his face. More of Rey.
Again and again, he takes her to the edge then backs off until she's begging, begging and sobbing out her need.
"Please, Force, Ben!"
Denying them both her orgasm has been the sweetest of torments, but it's time. Much as he adores her thighs clamped around his ears, he needs her eyes, so he shifts his hand until his thumb replaces his tongue, circling her bud and moves up her body.
Her face is flushed and gorgeous with her passion, her eyes full of heat and a pleading sort of vulnerability that makes him feel that he has all of Rey in his hands, malleable. His.
She grows so tight around his fingers that she nearly pushes him out, her breath coming in harsh pants as he holds her eyes with his, needing that connection in a way that feels primal, like he won't survive without the tether between them.
Her eyes widen and there it is, yes. Force, yes! She shakes and shudders and he can see the moment she crests, her eyes never leaving his.
His breath matches hers, as they pant in tandem, not quite ready to break the spell.
There are no words in any language for what streams between them.
She'd tried to reciprocate, but he'd needed to hold her close more than he'd needed release. So now he's holding her face to his heart and nearly overwhelmed by how much he loves her. But all he can manage is her name.
"Rey. Rey. Rey …"
After breakfast, his mother pulls him aside. "I'd like to bring Poe into our circle. Someone is going to have to go to Atalyn to follow up on those kidnapped children."
"What about the Academy?" Ben asks. One of them should get to be a pilot.
"He's taking a term off." She holds up her hand. "I don't know why."
"This … this could get … bad," Ben says. Fanatics playing at empire, Snoke … Palpatine.
"I know, but with just the four of us … I've actually been thinking I should contact my old Rebellion comrades."
Ben frowns, worried about increasing the number who know of Rey. "Just don't … don't tell them about Rey, that she's from the future."
"No." Leia shakes her head. "That was one of the things we talked about this morning. We'll just tell them I received an anonymous tip and we started digging."
"So, Rey knows, about telling Poe?"
Leia smiles. "She said as long he's not allowed to pilot the Falcon. Apparently, he set it on fire."
And just like that, his feelings of inadequacy to Poe fall away. If his father knew about that he'd never forgive his friend. "Don't tell Dad."
"Oh, don't worry. I've been managing your father since the minute I met him."
After they'd told him about the First Order and a possible resurgence of the stormtrooper program, Poe looks almost … excited?
"So, do I get to go on my own mission? Just like my parents?" he asks eagerly.
Han puts his hand out in a placating gesture. "Now let's not get carried away."
But Leia is nodding. "We need to find out what happened to those children on Atalyn. Diplomatic channels didn't tell us much, only that they were stolen from their homes. We need to make sure it's the First Order, and maybe find out where they've been taken."
They're all sitting in the family room, with Rey next to him and the other three on the opposite settee.
Leia puts her hand over Poe's. "Do you really think you're up to this?"
"I was born ready," Poe boasts.
"Now, you'll be traveling as a diplomatic representative. I've requisitioned you a ship—"
"An X-Wing?" Poe interrupts.
"Uh, no. Just a light fighter equipped with an astro-mech. I think you'll like him," Leia says with a smile.
"When do I leave?" he asks while Ben just takes it all in, a bit envious he's not the one going. But that would mean leaving Rey, and he's not willing to do that.
"Is tomorrow too soon?" Leia asks with urgency.
Poe finally seems to understand their very real danger and shakes his head. "No. If they've got kids, we gotta find them as soon as we can."
"Then all we need to do is head to the shipyard and file the appropriate permits."
"Can I come?" Rey asks, her face wide open. She does seem to love ships of all kinds.
"I don't see why not," Leia answers.
"Is that alright?" she asks him, and he has a strange feeling that it's not.
"I'll come, too," Ben decides.
"Actually, kid, could you hang back, help your old man?"
He can't shake the idea that if she's apart from him, she'll be in danger and he wants to refuse Han's request. But then he remembers the look on his father's face when his future self had killed him and he's nodding.
"So, the hyperdrive still giving you trouble?" Ben asks, grimacing slightly. His damned headache is back.
Han looks away and says, "Uh, no. Something else I wanted to talk to you about." He retakes his seat in the family room.
His father seems exceedingly uncomfortable, and it's enough to pique his interest, so he sits across from Han.
For a long time, Han just stares at his hands, and Ben shifts on the settee. His father is a straight shooter, this kind of unease is highly unusual.
Then his father sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Listen, Son …"
Oh, hell. He's going to try to talk to him about his braids. "I know it seems sudden, but Rey and I won't get engaged, properly, until we're-"
Han's eyebrows skitter to his hairline. "Engaged? What? Does your mother know?"
Ben tugs at one of his braids, "Duh."
"Right … right. No … uh, this is about something else." Then he peers at him. "We'll get to that later."
"You already made me get my implant," Ben says. He'll race after Rey if his dad tries to give him the 'talk'. Though, it couldn't be any worse than when Luke had tried.
"This isn't about Rey!" his father huffs in frustration then sighs heavily. "It's about you an' me."
Ben feels the blood drain from his face. He wants to talk about what his future self did. Now that he's had time to think about that his own son murdered him in a now dead future. All he can do is swallow rapidly, trying to keep the urge to run at bay.
"Last night, after you an' Rey went to bed, Poe and I got to talking."
Poe? What does Poe have to do with it?
"He, uh, he told me that you … you maybe didn't feel … wanted," Han finishes, his hands flailing.
Oh. Ben only blinks. How can he explain how he'd always thought his father wanted a different son? Things are so much better now, and he knows he was a difficult child.
They stare at each other for a long moment and Han frowns. "Did ya? Did ya feel like that?"
In a small voice, Ben whispers, "Yes."
Han lets out a long breath and swears colorfully. "I just … I didn't think ya needed me. You got the Force … that was your mother's department."
"I know, Dad … I just … I wanted to be a pilot, like you. But you always seemed to have more time for Poe." Gods, he feels like he's whining. Maybe he is.
Han grimaces and Ben closes his eyes briefly against his headache.
Looking anguished, Han explains, "His dad was in a bad way after Kes died … I was just tryin' to help the kid out."
His childhood reorders itself for what feels like the hundredth time since Rey burst into his life and Ben can see so clearly how it had all happened. Of course his father would try to be there for the motherless boy and he feels like an idiot.
"It's okay," Ben hears himself say.
Shaking his head, Han says, "No. I shoulda … I shoulda been a better father. Been there for you."
Ben tries to think of words to reassure his father, but now his head feels like it's splitting wide open and he can't form a coherent thought. He winces painfully.
"Ben?"
It's only getting worse, and Ben grabs his head, calling out, the agony becoming too much.
"Ben!"
And that's when he hears it.
The voice.
"You thought it would be so easy to get rid of me, boy?"
A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, who keeps me sane.
Thank you, Readers! I'm so sorry it's been a few days since my last update. I think I burned myself out writing so much, but I wouldn't change a thing. Going forward, however, I think updates will likely be 2-3 times a week instead of every day. Thank you all so much for reading!
