"Ben," Luke says, his eyes wide with shock. His face has gone slack and he opens and closes his mouth before his gaze slants to Rey. "You … my gods," Luke breathes out.
Ben's face twists into an annoyed frown. Why is Luke surprised to see him in his own apartment? And didn't he know Rey had come with him?
Luke moves closer to him and peers up into his face, then his eyes roam all over his body, making Ben distinctly uncomfortable.
"Remarkable," Luke says with an awed tone.
Frustrated, Ben asks in a sharp tone, "What?"
"The dark …"
"Oh no, if you start accusing me of—"
"No, it's gone. It's no longer swirling all around you."
Well. That's not all that unexpected now that Snoke isn't sniffing around him constantly. "Perhaps because it was never me," he responds bitterly.
"What?" Luke asks, nonplussed.
At this moment, Leia threads her arm through her brother's and says, "You've had a long journey. Perhaps we should have some tea."
"No!" Ben spits. "If he wants to know, I'll tell him." Suddenly he needs to see the look on his uncle's face when he proves he was never destined for the dark, that the great Jedi Master had missed a darksider right under his nose.
Han whistles and flops down on the couch. "We might wanna make ourselves scarce," he tells Poe in a loud whisper.
Rey has come up to his side and takes his hand, squeezing it encouragingly while he seethes down on Luke. "So do you? Do you want to know how Rey accomplished what you never could?"
Luke nods, and his eager face makes this somewhat less satisfying.
"Snoke, that old man you had visit the temple. He wasn't what he seemed, and he's been lurking in my head for my whole life, pretending to be my friend, seducing me to the dark side. Whispering stories of the Jedi, twisting my mind. Every—single—night!"
Now it's Luke's turn to frown and he shakes his head. "No, I would have sensed—"
"You did! You just thought it was me. Because of course on top of everything else, why not the screw-up fall to the dark side, too!" Ben cries out. He's done just taking whatever banthashit is thrown at him.
"It wasn't like that—"
"The hell it wasn't!" Ben roars. "You made me feel like such a failure, always holding me back, always finding fault in everything I did." His voice turns mocking when he continues to rant, "Ben, don't get so emotional. Ben, control yourself. Ben, try again. Again. Again. AGAIN!"
"I—"
But Ben won't be stopped. "Doesn't that sound familiar, old man?"
Leia moves towards her son. "Ben, sweet-"
"No! You don't know how he treated me, Mom!"
"What do you mean?" Leia asks in a trepidatious voice.
"I was always meant for more. I had the mighty Skywalker blood flowing through my veins. I was never good enough, never calm enough, never balanced. Always a failure," he spits.
Leia looks sharply at her brother as he puts his hands out in supplication. "No, Ben—"
"You dare to deny it, Master?" Ben sneers.
"I never meant you to feel like that." Luke's contrite bearing shifts the storm raging in Ben to one of hurt, not fury.
"Then why wasn't I allowed to call you uncle?" Ben asks, his voice breaking.
His mother gasps and Luke's face falls.
"I didn't want the others to single you out!"
"But I was! They did. You did! Just for being the legacy. I was never, ever just Ben!" he cries out. He was never allowed to simply be a person, not until Rey looked at him with her luminous hazel eyes, held his hand and just listened to him.
Luke's head falls forward in defeat. "You're right," he says quietly.
That takes the wind from Ben's sails and he feels the weight of every year at the temple, alone except for the voice. A distance between him and everyone he cared for. Every visit home, a further reminder he was just a pawn for galactic games.
It's only then that he feels Rey's thumb stroking his hand and he lets out a shuddering breath before turning and folding her into his arms, clinging to her. He's not alone. Not now. He never will be again.
"What is it, between you two?" Luke breathes out.
Ben doesn't want to let her go, so he ignores his failure of an uncle and just holds on to his reason for living. As long as he's wrapped around her, nothing can touch him. No one can hurt him. There's only her and the steady beat of her heart, her soothing hands, her calming scent.
With a soft voice, Leia explains. "They're bonded. A dyad in the Force …"
Luke takes in a long breath and with a hushed tone says, "She never told me. All she said was that Ben falls to the dark in the future, that she had to stop it. That she … that she loved him in her reality. No wonder she came back for him."
"She was afraid of what sharing too much would do."
Humming in acknowledgement, Luke continues. "I can't even imagine what it must have been doing to her, to be without half of her soul …"
Leia's tone becomes apologetic. "There's more …"
Their voices fall into a low murmur and Ben doesn't bother to try to hear their conversation. He just wants to cradle Rey as close as he can. Having Luke here, accepting the truth of his words, almost acting so much like a true uncle would, has him spinning through memories and wondering what if, what if ...
"Are you alright?" Rey asks quietly.
"Yeah … I just don't know what to do with him, how to talk to him." He makes a harsh sound. "I've never known how."
"Luke can be … difficult."
Ben snorts. "That's one word for it."
"When I met him, he knew it was his fault you went to the dark side, but he lied about it. It was clear when I arrived, explained why I was here, that he always kept his secrets close, even before he … did what he did." She sighs with sadness. "I don't know why he thought he could teach a bunch of children …"
He lets out a laugh with no mirth. "No, Luke Skywalker is not the … warmest of people."
"When you were young, was he at least affectionate with you?" Rey asks, keeping her voice for only his ears.
"No … not with any of us."
She pulls back and looks up into his face. "That's not what children need. Away from all of your parents …" Rey frowns deeply. "I don't know much about what it would be like to be raised normally, but I do know that."
Ben recalls how he'd tried to hug his uncle when he first arrived on Yavin 4. Luke had stiffened and explained that he couldn't hug him now, that it wasn't appropriate. His young self hadn't even understood the concept, just felt rejected. He hasn't tried to hug Luke since.
"Palpatine!" rings out in Luke's voice and both Ben and Rey turn to see him pale and utterly terrified.
Now Ben does pay attention to what his mother is saying. "Yes … we think he and Snoke are working together."
"I can't believe I didn't sense the dark in Snoke," Luke says, his face grim. "The Emperor … he was … he was evil. Are you sure?" he asks with narrowed eyes.
Somberly, Leia nods. "He attacked Rey's mind yesterday. It's why I contacted you."
With eyes haunted by the past, Luke asks, "Do we know where they are?"
"We have some leads—"
"We're going to Kamino soon, to find out what they're up to," Rey interrupts.
"Well, then I'm going with you," Luke announces and this pulls Ben into the fray.
"No, no way."
"Why not?" Leia asks and Han and Poe try to slink from the room. "Get back here, this is a family discussion."
Poe keeps walking, but Leia stops him with, "And it's to do with strategy. Stay put, young man."
Both men sigh and retake their seats.
Leia repeats, "Why not, Ben?"
His jaw works and he finally spits out, "I don't trust him."
How is he supposed to work with, fight beside the man he knows thought to murder him in his own bed just four years from now?
Leia makes a troubled face and Rey grasps his bicep before saying, "I understand, I do … but remember, he didn't do it. At least not yet."
"Do what?" Leia asks.
Ben knows he shouldn't say anything. Maker knows, he hates when Rey forgets he hasn't done any of the horror of the future, but he's just too hurt. "He's the reason I turned!" he bursts out.
Confusion floods Leia's eyes and Rey sighs deeply. "I thought it was Snoke," Leia hesitantly says.
"Oh, it was him, too. In fact, it was quite the group effort. I fought against the temptation, at least I think I did. I know I had been for quite some time before Rey came into my life."
"Ben—"
"No, it's time everyone knew," he says to Rey, then turns his gaze on the siblings. "He," he points at Luke, "Decides the dark in me is too much of a threat and believes killing me in my sleep is the most expedient solution!"
Han leaps to his feet and begins to stalk towards Luke, while Leia's hand flies to her mouth and she shakes her head back and forth swiftly. Poe just blinks but stays seated.
Luke though … he looks … guilty and that's when Han reaches him. "You were gonna hurt my kid?" Then he grabs Luke by the collar and pulls him close. Ben has never seen such rage on his father's face.
Rey rushes up to them and pulls at Han's sleeve while his mother stands completely still, her eyes full of horror. Rey cries out, "Han, no! He never did that, he only thinks about it! He never hurt Ben!"
"Oh, he hurt me alright, just not the way you mean," Ben argues. "Every damned day for the last nine years."
And that's when the last bit of rational thought leaves the situation.
"I trusted you!" Han hollers and before Ben can even blink, his father hauls off and punches Luke right in the nose.
That snaps Leia out of her trance and between her and Rey, they pull his father off of his now-bleeding uncle. Rey helps Luke to sit and efficiently begins to heal his nose with the Force while Leia is speaking furiously with Han.
Ben, he just stands there, stunned. Had that really just happened? His whole life, he thought his family essentially worshiped the great Luke Skywalker, the first of the New Jedi. And his dad had just let fly a vicious punch. To protect him. He shouldn't feel so elated, but he can't help it.
"I don't care that it hasn't happened yet! Weren't you listening? He made Ben feel like nothing!" Han exclaims. Loudly.
"Yes, and we'll be speaking, but you shouldn't have hit him!" Leia pushes back.
"I shoulda done more than that!" Han shouts and storms out of the apartment, obviously going to the Falcon.
Poe hesitantly gets up and mumbles, "I'm … uh, I'm gonna see if he needs any help. Uhm. Yeah." Then he's out the door, too.
Rey has finished healing Luke, who is gingerly pressing his nose, checking her work.
"I think we all need some … time." Leia breathes in, long and deep. "Luke, come with me," she commands and he obediently follows her, no doubt to her office, leaving Ben and Rey in the family room.
"Well, it's now all out in the open," Rey sighs, looking dismayed. "Are you happy with yourself?"
"Yeah, a bit!" he snaps.
"Your father just hit the man who sacrifices everything a person can, for us!" Rey cries.
"Well he hasn't done it, yet!" Ben cringes inside for how petulant he sounds.
"And he didn't try to kill you yet, either," Rey points out, visibly trying to keep herself calm.
That, that makes him pause. But then he remembers how isolated he always felt with his own damned uncle right there and he finds his fight again. "I don't care! There's plenty enough reason why he deserved that!"
Rey sighs and folds her arms. "You actually enjoyed that, didn't you?"
Ben looks away for a moment, then sheepishly says, "Maybe a little."
"Look … Luke made mistakes, but you have to see it from his perspective. It sounds like you weren't exactly an easy child. I think … I think he did what he thought was best."
"It was best to make me feel like no one gave a damn about me and that I had to live up to all of these expectations at the same time?"
"You know that isn't what he wanted. He loves you. He proved that, in the end."
Grudgingly, he has to acknowledge that she's right. Knowing that he wouldn't have Rey, would still be inexorably pulled to the dark without his uncle's sacrifice, it makes him feel ashamed for how he'd acted. He'd blamed Luke for something he never did and now, won't ever do.
"Yeah, okay," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck.
Then Rey takes his hands, circling the backs with her thumbs. "But … what really matters to me, is you."
He smiles that small smile just for her. She always knows just how to make him feel seen.
"Are you alright?" she asks.
He thinks for a moment and finds himself nodding slowly. That his father had reacted so fiercely is actually quite comforting, and he's pretty sure he can hear raised voices from down the hall. His mother isn't just taking Luke's treatment of him lying down, either.
"I am," he says, feeling a strange sort of strength.
For the first time in his life, he knows what it's like to have his family gathered around him, defending him, knowing him. Though Rey is the center of his galaxy, the writer of this new chapter in his life, he can see everything so much clearer, now.
His parents love him.
His parents see him.
A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare! You are da bomb.
Thank you, Readers! First, I hope everyone is healthy. It's a scary time and I want to tell you all how much you mean to me. Take care of yourselves, okay? Time to hunker down and read fan fic! Secondly, I'm so grateful for your time and attention.
