I forgot about this story because the document wasn't loading on Google Docs so I had to copy and rewrite the whole chapter on Pages lol
And I'm somewhat happy with the response I got! Hopefully I didn't make you guys hate Beca so much you don't want her to be with Chloe in the end and hopefully after reading this you'll have at least a little bit of compassion for her.
Sorry for any mistakes I might have made, I wrote this ages ago (I wrote something else, then changed it) and to tell you the truth I didn't read it before I posted it (I only wrote a little bit more at the end because it was incomplete). I wanted suspense, I wanted to feel like a reader lol
The Bellas had never seen Chloe so angry in their entire college life. The redhead had been a mess this entire time but now she was downright scary. Scarier than Aubrey Posen losing her shit, scary.
Stacie was afraid to knock on the door but she did and slowly went in. She saw Chloe unpacking her bags, starting by her shirts. She was obviously angry and she was crying.
"Chloe..? What are you doing?" Stacie asked, going for the safest question. She knew she couldn't ask 'are you okay?'.
"What does it seem like I'm doing? I'm unpacking." Chloe spoke angrily.
"Why?" Stacie asked.
"We're not going to this fucking retreat anymore. Forget this." Chloe said, moving faster to get her clothes out of her luggage. "Forget the retreat, forget the World's, forget the Bellas!" by the end of the sentence, the redhead was screaming and Stacie had to hold her tight to stop her from throwing things around her room.
Chloe just kicked and screamed at Stacie for a few long moments, before she gave up and broke down into heavy sobs. Stacie then turned her around, since she had been holding her from behind, and hugged her. She didn't say anything, she just held the redhead because she knew there was nothing she could say.
"She ruined it. She ruined everything." Chloe spoke as she sobbed onto Stacie's shoulder.
"I know." Stacie sighed. "Look, what else can we do? We waited for her to come to us if she had any problems, she didn't. We told her to stop, she didn't. We tried to help her, most of all you, but she didn't. We tried everything."
"Why? Why did she do that, Stacie? Why?" Chloe asked, sobbing harder.
"Well… I don't know." Stacie said.
It took about half thirty to forty five minutes for Chloe to finally calm down. By the time she stopped crying, her eyes were very puffy and red. Her nose looked like really red as well and her face was all wet with tears.
"We should go to sleep." Chloe pulled apart and wiped her face, going to her luggage and picking out some comfy clothes.
"Are we still going to the retreat?" Stacie asked, almost defeated.
Chloe shrugged.
"I guess now, we've hit rock bottom. Actually, we fell face first onto a pile of crap." Chloe said. "There's nowhere left to go."
"But up." Stacie said in a soft tone. "We have nowhere else to go but up. There isn't a reason why we shouldn't at least try to save the Bellas, right?"
Chloe shrugged. She felt drained, completely devoid of feeling, she physically couldn't cry or sob anymore.
"Okay." Stacie said. "You should get some sleep, Chlo."
"Not like I'm gonna fall asleep." Chloe said.
"Just try to." Stacie said. "Beca's in the hospital, she can't do drugs and have sex anymore."
"Don't mention her, I don't wanna hear her name." Chloe said.
Stacie bit her lips and nodded. She said goodnight and quietly left the room. She went to her own room and checked her watch, it was 2 in the morning. She sighed as she lied down. The house was so silent, it felt dead.
oO0Oo
The Bellas couldn't lie, they weren't expecting the DJ to show up at the house. They expected her father to come pick her stuff up and apologize for her.
So when Beca showed up, looking like a dog with a tail between its legs, with a small tube and tape still connected to her nose and a band aid on her arm where the IV was, they were surprised. No one said anything, though.
Chloe was still upstairs when she showed up so she didn't know the brunette had come back. Stacie had her arms crossed as she watched the brunette with her head low make her way through the very angry Bellas.
"Beca, I need to talk to you." she said firmly and went upstairs to the room the brunette shared with Amy. Beca followed her slowly.
Stacie let Beca in and shut the door. She took a few deep breaths with closed eyes before she opened them and looked at Beca.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She asked, trying her hardest not to raise her voice. "Are you dumb or just stupid?"
Beca looked taken aback, but didn't say anything. Stacie then noticed she was moving weird because she had what seemed like a heartbeat monitor.
"Don't you see what you put Chloe through? Beca.. Chloe loves you. Or loved. I don't really know anymore, I don't think she does." Stacie said. "Do you realize how broken she is right now?! Do you know how hard she'd cry whenever you were out with your frat guys and your drugs? Do you?!"
Beca simply shook her head, tears filling her eyes.
"If it were for me, you wouldn't be allowed back in. You would've been kicked out a long time ago. But Chloe apparently still hopes you'll change. I think it's useless." Stacie shrugged. "Chloe.. Chloe has the biggest heart I have ever seen in anyone. She did everything for you. Hell, she intentionally failed to be a Bella, to be with you! And you pull a stunt like this! I swear if I could, I would punch your face repeatedly."
Beca immediately brought her arms up to hide her face and let out a strangled cry.
"That morning, I woke up and went down to the kitchen and found Chloe looking like a mess, her nose was almost purple. She said you had done that to her. But amazingly, she didn't look angry. She was still hoping you'd change. She told me how you two actually got the arrangement and how she was so happy you were cooperating! How can you do this to Chloe? How can you be so selfish?!" Stacie said and she was crying as well. "All this time.. Chloe has been anything but selfish, Beca. All she thought about was you. Unfortunately, all you thought about was also you."
Stacie sighed, looking defeated and angry at the same time, which was weird.
"Just.. stay the hell away from me." Stacie said and left the room, slamming the door behind her.
They noticed the brunette's tears as she entered the bus quietly. She sat down and kept looking down at her hands the whole time, crying. She wiped her tears occasionally but she didn't say anything.
The Bellas didn't say anything the entire drive, which was only like an hour and a half, they just sat there awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something. Chloe was still pissed, she never looked at Beca the whole ride. The only sound in the bus would be either Beca sniffing or her heart monitor.
When they got there, the place was huge, it had a huge lake and it looked really fun.
"This place is sweet!" Emily said.
"Where did you hear about this place, Chloe?" Stacie asked.
Chloe opened her mouth to answer but in that moment, the person she was gonna talk about answered the question for her.
"From yours, truly." Aubrey said, holding a musket with a smile as she placed her sunglasses on the top of her head. "Hello, Bellas."
"Aubrey!" the Bellas all ran to give her a big group hug.
Beca let out a small smile and she walked slowly over to Aubrey. She looked up and the blonde offered her a small smile.
"Beca." she said with a small nod.
Beca just gave her a very small smile, ashamed. She knew Chloe most probably told Aubrey about what happened. If she didn't, she was just sure the blonde knew.
Beca stood outside of the circle the Bellas made around Aubrey as they bombarded her with questions about the place and everything. Beca just stood there a few feet away awkwardly. She felt as though she wasn't wanted there and she still felt weak.
Aubrey sent them to the lake to work on various team building exercises and although it was fun and sure enough some of them made Beca laugh, she felt chest pains and had to slow down or stop every once in a while. Fortunately, Aubrey didn't complain or yell at her for that so that was good.
When the afternoon came, Aubrey said they should set up the tent they'd be sleeping in and all the girls started.
Chloe was sleeping next to Beca, of course, she was upside down, but she thought it was weird that Beca hadn't said a single word and she still had that band aid on her arm, she had taken the one on her nose off during the day. She knew the brunette was still recovering but she wasn't saying a word. Aubrey said she'd make them sing the next day though so Chloe was looking forward to that.
"I can't sleep with this stupid noise." Stacie spoke angrily, referring to Beca's monitor.
Beca turned her head to Stacie's direction and the taller brunette had her arms crossed and was staring at the 'ceiling'. Beca just sighed and sat up, eyes already tearing up and made her way outside the tent. She sat down just outside, a few feet away so no one could hear the heart monitor and lied down on the grass, crying.
"Much better." Stacie said with a smile and put on her sleep mask.
The girls were a little surprise at how harsh Stacie was being. It wasn't like her to be like that. Chloe was actually now feeling bad for Beca. She knew it was stupid and she shouldn't feel that way but come on, sleeping on the ground? She kept telling herself it was what she deserved.
Surprisingly this time, Chloe fell asleep quickly, thanks to all the team building exercises Aubrey had them do, because she was exhausted. She didn't get much sleep though and she was tired of it. But this time, quiet sobs woke her and a rather quick beeping. She sat up and looked outside the tent and she could see the girl sitting on the grass, sobbing quietly, clutching her chest. She didn't say anything, she just cried as the monitor beeped. Chloe felt an ache in her heart but she didn't want to talk to the younger girl, she just turned on her side and tried to go back to sleep. The ache in her heart was still there and the beeping didn't stop for a while.
oO0Oo
The next day started way too early for the Bellas liking. Aubrey started singing with them and they all heard Beca join them but she wasn't singing to her potential, she wasn't even singing that loudly.
Chloe was starting to get impatient, they were all working their hardest and Beca didn't seem to be even trying. She was quiet, she didn't apologize for her behavior, she didn't say anything to anyone.
"Okay, Bree, I wanna stop for a second." she said.
Aubrey looked confused but allowed the break.
"Beca, I wanna talk to you." Chloe said, making everyone confused.
Beca looked very confused but she stepped forward.
"Look, we made a deal, you were only supposed to show if you wanted to make a commitment to the Bellas, if you went back to the Bella you've been for the past 3 years. I don't see that, I know you're still recovering but you haven't said a word! To any of us!" Chloe said. "So if you don't wanna be here, you shouldn't. You should just go then."
Beca felt tears filling her eyes and she put her hand on her neck as if her throat was hurting.
"Last night.. at the hospital, I stayed up all night. Throwing up blood." Beca said. "All night long I've had chest pains and the doctor explained that I was at risk of having a heart attack or a stroke. He wanted to keep me there another night but I begged him to let me go. Because I wanted to be here. I want to be a Bella and I want to make it up for what I did. But it physically hurts me. Last night I woke up with chest pains again and the heart monitor started beeping and I was afraid I was gonna die in the middle of the woods because of how stupid I was. I am more than willing to make a commitment, but right now I'm still in pain, I'm still recovering. I came because I knew how mad you were gonna be if you thought I just gave up on this. The Bellas."
Chloe was speechless for the first time in months. She didn't even think Beca could be going through all that. She just thought the girl was being stubborn, or that she didn't want to be there.
"I didn't know that." Chloe said simply, holding her head up.
"None of you knew that because instead of asking if I was alright, if I was okay, you guys remained quiet. I know what I did was wrong, I know it! I'm aware of my mistakes." Beca said. "But I was expecting some sort of comfort I've always felt when I was with you. When I didn't feel that I thought maybe I screwed up so bad, I don't deserve to be here anymore."
Chloe looked up at her.
"So you wanna quit?" she asked.
"I don't want to. But I feel unwanted here." Beca said. "I feel like my mistake was so huge it affected you so much, you don't want me anymore."
"Beca, we want you here. We want our captain back!" Chloe said. "Yes, I'm still mad about what you did, because I feel like you don't understand what you put us through. Especially me."
The Bellas had taken a seat and were listening quietly, Aubrey too. She was actually surprised at both, they usually didn't fight like this.
"What? You think I don't know that? You think it was easy every time you tried to help me and I had to push you away?" Beca asked. "I know about everything I did, Chloe, and I know it wasn't the smartest thing."
"Then why did you do it?! What were you trying to do, kill yourself?!" Chloe screamed, frustrated.
"Yes!" Beca screamed and that surprised them all, even Chloe, whose eyes widened.
It was silent for a few long moments. Chloe and Beca were just staring at each other. Beca had a little bit of anger and a lot of sadness and hurt in her eyes.
"You were trying.." Chloe didn't finish, her eyes were filling with tears.
"Jesse was right when he said I couldn't be straight. I'm not straight, I'm not bi, I'm gay." she admitted, which earned a few gasps.
"So you were trying to kill yourself.. because you didn't wanna be gay? That's so.. stupid, Beca." Chloe said.
Beca looked pissed and sad at the same time.
"You.." Beca said, her voice breaking. She shut her eyes and tried to stop herself from sobbing.
"You know you have no reason to be crying." Stacie jumped in, since she knew Chloe wouldn't say it. "Being gay isn't an excuse to do what you did."
"I thought.. I thought you guys.. would a-accept me." Beca said.
"No, we accept you for being whoever you are. What we cannot tolerate is you behaving like a drug addict and we have to clean up after you." Chloe said.
"I.. I was.." Beca was lost, she didn't know what to say anymore. Actually she did know what to say, she just didn't know how to say it now.
"You what? Come on, give us your best excuse." Chloe said and crossed her arms.
Beca wiped her tears.
"Jesse and the Trebles knew." she said and looked down. "People were bullying me.. saying.. mean stuff. Some guys even try to beat me up but Jesse stopped them."
Stacie scoffed and walked closer to Beca.
"Are you going to be a baby?" she asked. "Are you going to create some stupid story to try and get us to forgive you?"
"I wanna go home." Beca said and tried pushing Stacie aside but the brunette pushed her back.
"No, you're gonna stay. And you're gonna tell us your little sob story. Come on, give us your best shot." Stacie said.
"Stacie." Chloe said, thinking the brunette was going overboard.
"No, Chloe, I don't think she understands just what she put us through." Stacie said.
"You really think I don't? You think I don't know how badly I broke Chloe?" Beca said. "Why do you think I was trying to kill myself?!"
Stacie remained quiet, not surprised or phased.
"I'm trying to tell you guys something.. something that terrifies me to this very day!" Beca said.
Chloe stepped in and pulled Stacie back a little bit.
"Tell us." Chloe said.
Stacie looked at Chloe as if she'd grown two heads.
"You're way too nice sometimes." she said and walked away, back to where the Bellas were.
Chloe looked back at Beca.
"What is it?" Chloe asked, even though her tone wasn't very comforting, it was a lot softer than Stacie's.
"I.. I had.. feelings for you.. since Freshman year.. and before you say anything, the last person I liked got me in a hospital for two months." Beca said. "I.. I thought going for Jesse was the safe option. Then the other guys.. I thought they'd make the pain go away, I thought it would work. But it didn't. So I started using drugs because.. because they made things easier.. for a while. But then they stopped."
"What were you so scared of? Why couldn't you just tell me?" Chloe asked. "What happened that made you so afraid of just telling me?"
Beca took a deep breath and looked down.
- Flashback -
Beca blushed as she sat down on her seat in school. She grabbed her notebooks and looked up at a blonde girl who sat beside her. The girl noticed her looking and sent her a wink, which made Beca blush deeper.
She looked down at her notebook and quickly scribbled something down with her shaky hand. She then folded the piece of paper and passed it to the girl.
'can we meet in the auditorium today after school?
Beca'
Beca smiled when the girl quickly gave her the paper back. She opened and in the other side, she wrote,
'sure, I'm looking forward to it ;)
xoxo - Dylyn'
Beca smiled and felt like a teenage boy with a crush. Well, her and Dylyn had been dating for a month now and they would meet in secret sometimes. Beca hadn't told her parents yet, she wasn't ready, but she was sure her mom already knew.
Beca was walking to her next class when she was stopped by a group of girls. They grabbed her and dragged her into the girl's bathroom and into a stall.
"We know what you've been doing, dyke!" one of the girl said as she pushed her head into the toilet.
Beca kicked her arms and legs and that's when the two other girls grabbed her and stopped her from fighting.
The girl grabbed her hair and pulled her out of the toilet with a laugh.
"You're just getting what you deserve!" she said, pushing Beca into the toilet again.
Beca's lungs were burning and she was crying already. The girl pulled her back.
"That's what we do to stupid dykes." she pushed her into the toilet once again and spat on her, making the other girls laugh.
"We're just curing you of this thing." another girl said.
"Just admit you're a clitty licker, clitty licker!" the girl pushing her head in the toilet said and the others laughed.
A teacher came in and sent all the other girls to their classes. Beca just thanked her and ran, crying. She managed to dry herself before class, though.
After school, Beca quietly made her way to the school auditorium and found it empty. She walked down the aisles between the seats and put her bag down on one of the front row chairs.
"Beca!" Dylyn said, coming in.
Beca smiled and kissed her before Dylyn pulled apart.
"Beca.. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore." she said.
"What?" Beca asked, confused.
"Well.. my brother found out and told my parents. They said they won't have a dyke in the family." Dylyn said.
"But.." Beca said.
"I'm sorry, Beca." Dylyn said.
Beca sighed before looking up at the blonde.
"Can I kiss you just one last time?" she asked.
Dylyn smiled and allowed the brunette to place a gentle kiss on her lips. Before Beca could intensify the kiss, though, they heard the door opening and immediately Dylyn pushed Beca away. Hard.
"What the fuck are you doing, Beca?" she demanded.
Beca frowned at her. She saw three girls and two boys had entered.
"I was just coming here to offer you help!" Dylyn said.
"Dylyn.." Beca said.
"I hate you, Beca Mitchell! Stay the hell away from me!" Dylyn said and she said it with such an anger that if Beca hadn't been dating her for a month, she would've believed her.
"You don't know that you don't offer help to a queer like Beca?" a girl said.
"Yeah, you just teach her a lesson." a boy said and they all started running towards her.
Beca panicked and ran backstage and out the back door, running as fast as she could, but when she neared the gym, the group caught up to her and dragged her inside, she was screaming all the way. She screamed louder when she noticed there were a few older boys playing basketball.
"What's going on?" the taller one asked.
"This queer here just kissed your sister!" a girl said.
"Are you insane? You stupid little dyke, you stay away from my sister!" the guy yelled and punched Beca in the face. The girls held her tighter.
He punched her again and her nose started bleeding as well as her lip. The girls let her go and she fell to the ground, groaning in pain. She then received a kick on her ribs and a bunch more all over her body. She cried and screamed for them to stop but she received two hard kicks on her right eye.
"Guys, guys, look! The dyke is out!" a guy yelled, laughing.
"Oh my God, out like light." A girl said, though the voices seemed distant.
"Dude, she got what she deserved!" another guy laughed.
"Come on, let's just leave her."
"Stupid dyke."
Another hard kick to her face.
The group left her but Beca couldn't stand up. She groaned, thinking she'd die there, when her world turned black.
- End of Flashback -
Beca wiped her tears, remembering that moment.
"I had two broken ribs, a broken nose, a concussion, a ruptured eardrum and I had a 60% chance of losing my sight in my right eye. I stayed in the hospital for ten weeks before my right eye finally opened and the doctors saw there was no permanent damage. It took me three months for my eardrum to heal." Beca said.
No one said anything, they just waited for Beca to say something.
"I was afraid. I was afraid I was gonna get beat up again.." Beca said and continued crying.
"Beca.." Chloe started, not knowing what to say.
"I know, okay! I know drugs don't solve anything, I know. I was.. I actually.." Beca sighed, defeated. She wiped a few more tears.
"Wait so you.. why did you feel you had to resort to drugs?" Chloe asked.
"The last person I had feelings for threw me to the wolves! I'd rather do drugs and die of overdose than get beat up like that again." Beca said. "Which is something you guys will never understand, thank God. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining this year for everyone, I'm sorry for not being the captain you guys deserve, I'm sorry for everything."
The Bellas remained quiet, even Stacie, which shocked Beca.
She took a few deep breaths and, to her own surprise, who spoke next was Chloe.
"Beca, we're sorry for what you went through.. we're sorry that something so horrible happened to you." Chloe sighed. "And to be honest with you I kinda had feelings for you, too, but now.. you made it difficult for me to trust you."
"I know." Beca sighed.
"Well not only me, you made it difficult for all of us to trust you." Chloe said. "And what I'm saying is, if you're up for it we're ready to take our captain back.. if you show us we can really trust you."
"Okay." Beca said and nodded her head. "I can do it. I promise you guys."
"That's all we need to hear, Beca. And we all swear if you fail on us again-"
"-I won't." Beca cut her off with a look of determination on her face.
"Okay." Chloe said. "And if you work hard and get me to trust you again, maybe you and I could go out for a cup of coffee."
"Okay." Beca said. "I promise guys, I won't let you down again. I promise."
Chloe nodded, still looking serious. She still couldn't fully trust Beca, she couldn't ask her out because a big part of her told her she was gonna get heartbroken again so now it was time to play it safe. A small part of her was hoping Beca was telling the truth and that things would turn out okay. Who knows. Only time would tell.
