The 10-year itch
King Kong and Terkina had been recently married for 10 years. Their problems started in the end of the ninth year. The silverback annoyed his wife more and more frequently by placing her tiara on her head when she wasn't looking and noisily passing gas. Terk asked him multiple times to stop. He ceased from these activities only for a short while then, continued as if nothing had happened. The male had requested several times that he and his mate should try new things but the female declined as usual. As time went on he grew bored of this marriage and took out his anger and disappointment by disturbing his wife. As weeks passed their 10-year anniversary came. Knowing this was a very special occasion they were so excited as newlyweds on a honeymoon and their conflicts seemed to vanish. The morning after this day the problems reared their ugly heads again, moreover they had strengthened. Kong and Terk started having trouble with mating. The male didn't succeed in courting his female, moreover his failures increased as time went by. His wife conjectured the worst possible outcome: Kong found her fat and unattractive and didn't love her anymore. She feared he would cheat on her and therefore checked him more thoroughly. He found this quite aggravating after a while. They began losing patience with each other as a result they argued more and more. Their friends and Ishema were at times ear- and eyewitnesses of these quarrels including the one in which Kong put the tiara on Terkina's head to take out his negative emotions which he harbored toward her on her. The female reacted by turning around and spraying him like a skunk with the malodorous fluid secreted by her anal stink glands. The stench was a bit worse than a skunk's, it induced gagging and watering of eyes. Since the male came into physical contact with the fluid he stunk for two weeks and had trouble eating in the first few days due to heaving at times. Sometime after this during a loud argument King Kong left the nest out of rage, Terk snapped and headed to her mother in tears. After squeezing her complaints out of herself a crying spell overcame her. Ishema embraced her daughter, they were still holding each other when the silverback arrived.
"Where were you," asked Terkina her mate demandingly after wiping her tears from the black, wooly fur of her cheeks.
"I should be asking you the same question since you also left the nest but I already found you," he replied coldly. "Complaining to your mother about me?"
The gorilla lady remained silent.
"Kong, Ukuri, you should talk things over in an open and honest way, your marriage is in a crisis. If you delay this, your marriage will fall apart! And don't think that your problems will be solved with a new relationship because there's a VERY high chance they won't, you'll just end up carrying your problems into it and then, you'll split with your new partners. Believe me when I say this, I had seen several monogamous relationships before in my troop and half of them ended with divorce, and most of the divorced ones' new relationships weren't long-lasting. Why? Their problems followed them! I suggest you discuss things as earnestly as possible, the sooner the better! Then, you can work on problem-solving," advised and suggested Kong's mother-in-law in a serious tone.
The male joined the two females.
"Where were you," asked her husband Terk.
"I was with the guys," he replied. "Let me guess, now you're going to ask me precisely where I was and whether there was female company present," he continued sarcastically. "I'm fed up with your interrogations in which I am to give you an account of EVERY minute of my life," he shouted.
"Well, I want to know where you are and who you're with because you don't love me the same," bellowed his wife. "Otherwise you'd be able to mate with me!"
"Cut it out, you two! This blaming each other for your marriage problems is no way to save your marriage. Why don't you begin by telling each other your problems, honesty is very crucial here," advised the older female. "I am thinking of mediating your conversation. Are you two into this? I may be able to help you."
"Yes," answered the couple.
"All right. I don't think your root problems are Ukuri's "interrogations" and Kong's impotence, moreover I doubt the latter has a natural cause. Kong, Ukuri has told me several things about your behavior, but I think these indicate an underlying problem. I suggest you confess to her what your problems are and the reasons for your behavior or what makes you act like this. If you don't want to open up in front of me I'll go further so that you can discuss this privately. Ukuri, I recommend listening to Kong possibly without interrupting him and without thinking about what you will say to him, how you'll react. All you need to do is listen VERY carefully," suggested Ishema. "I think you'll hear things that will shed some light on your marriage crises."
"Okay... I think the problems started when I got bored in this relationship. I mean, we have been doing things the same for a loooooong time. This includes foraging at the same places, going on trips and spending alone time at the same places and even mating the same way. I tried suggesting to Terk that we should do things differently but she kept rejecting this. I am seriously bored of this marriage because it is monotonous due to this I don't enjoy it anymore and I haven't been in the mood to mate. I'm angry with Terk and disappointed in her. As a result of this and because of boredom I bother her and annoy her, I put her tiara on her head and loudly pass gas in front of her more than I usually do. She reacts and tells me to stop, but I keep doing these things again after a while because they occupy me, it's fun and I'm mad at her. Well, as time went on my mating problems came up and our arguments got worse. I yell with her because I'm enraged with her, I blame her for my boredom and see her as the cause of my behavior. She just doesn't want to do things differently, I don't want to force her to do things differently, but because of her free will of declining, my will has been nullified as if it doesn't even exist," he stopped to keep himself from shedding tears, took a deep breath then, continued. "Terk always gets her way, we always do things the same..." he groaned.
His mate was surprised and saddened simultaneously. She hadn't known until now that he was suffering because of her.
"Ukuri, what do you think about this," asked the older female.
"I didn't know about this problem so far..." replied her daughter quietly then, burst out in tears. "Kong, I'm very sorry..." she failed to finish due to her emotions causing sobbing to overtake her capability to speak.
After a while she continued.
"I thought you thought that I was too overweight for you and not beautiful anymore. I checked you and interrogated you more deeply because I was worried that you will cheat on me then, leave me. Why didn't you tell me about your problem with me," murmured Terkina.
The silverback was amazed to hear these things, not knowing Terk's motives up until now. He kept silent for a short time.
"Terk, I have no problems with the way you look. You're fine just the way you are, even with your overweight. I didn't want to cheat on you nor forsake you. I didn't tell you about my problem because I didn't want to be in trouble with you," confessed the male in a gloomy tone.
It had a positive effect on his wife for her to know that she wasn't in danger of losing her husband but she didn't understand the last sentence he uttered.
"What do you mean you didn't want to be in trouble with me," she questioned looking confused.
"I didn't want conflict," he determinedly stated. "By the way, I have a question for you too. Why did you keep saying "no" when I suggested doing things differently and trying new things."
"Wait a minute, this just came to mind and it's best if this is answered. Kong, when you have a problem with someone do you swallow it not to cause conflict and give in to the other's will putting your will behind," enquired Ishema.
"I don't usually do that. But this problem with Terk was an exception for me. I didn't know how she'd react if I bring this up, she's my wife and the closest one to me," he replied.
"Kong, are you worried about being good enough for Ukuri," the orange-eyed female further enquired.
"Yes," said the male ape.
"Why," asked Ishema.
"I don't want to lose her," he responded. "No one has loved me like she has," he added.
"Are you afraid that you're going to receive less love from her if you say "no" to her and decide to engage in conflict with her to stand up for yourself," she enquired.
"Yes," he replied.
"Have others close to you deducted love from you if you disagreed with them and refused them," she wondered.
"Yes," responded Kong. "My own mother. She used it against me if I misbehaved or told her my disapproval of things, even if I stood up for myself," he revealed on the verge of tears.
Terk was shocked, her eyes widened.
"I think you're projecting these negative things in your and your mother's relationship into your relationship with Ukuri. Ukuri, did you not know about this," she said.
"I didn't know about this at all," she exclaimed.
"Kong, I suggest that if you feel like crying, don't hold it in, cry it out. Try your best to say "no" to Ukuri and stand up for yourself. If she were to deduct love from you as a result, it wouldn't be your fault, it would be her fault for getting back at you and causing you pain this way. It seems to me that your mother wasn't the best parent and caused you approval addiction towards the females in your life who you're closest to, this time it's not your mother, it's Ukuri. Ukuri, I don't know how you behave towards Kong when he disagrees with you, but if you act like his mother, you're destructive towards him. I advise you to help him overcome his approval addiction and help him open up and get him to tell you his true opinions and problems with you. Kong, I recommend you reveal to Ukuri what your relationship with your mother was like in a detailed way, since she didn't know about this problem up until now. Ukuri, why did you repeatedly decline Kong's request to do things differently," said the older female.
The silverback listened to Ishema and began weeping.
"I didn't feel like doing things differently. I like doing things the same if they work well," answered Terk.
"Why don't you feel like doing things differently," enquired her mother. "Is it because you're afraid of change?"
"Yes," replied Terkina.
"Are you afraid that you're not going to like and enjoy changes," she wondered.
"Yes," responded her daughter.
"Knowing your life I can understand this. You were taken from me when you were a few months old into a completely different environment. Your meeting Kong and the first few days of sharing your enclosure with him wasn't positive for you. Your keepers introducing another female into your enclosure without your and Kong's consent and her living there with you for days also had negative effects on you. Tarzan's betrayal and your almost ending up getting pregnant by artificial insemination thanks to him was hard for you to digest and had a very rough effect on you. Your first weeks on Skull Island, another environmental change, having to quickly take up another lifestyle, having to do things yourself and get used to not being served, weren't easy. Your not being accepted by most of the females in the troop because you're quite different from them didn't impact you positively. I think you associate change with negativity and it not being safe is due to these several bad changes. I don't think Kong's suggestions regarding doing things differently will hurt you. I think you should try these things, at least try. Kong, I advise you to help Ukuri in proving to her that not all change will be bad for her and help her overcome her association with change. I think doing things differently is crucial in your marriage since Kong has a need for variety," expounded Ishema. "So, I think we've made a lot of progress in talking things over. I think you both should communicate better and more honestly than before. If you don't talk about your problems, they will remain, even get worse and cause damage in your lives, even your marriage. Ukuri, I think you should try new things, Kong, you should help her in this. Kong, I think you should share your problems with Ukuri, even the ones with her and should tell her openly and honestly your opinions about things, even if they are different or opposing to hers. Ukuri, please help Kong to open up and not be afraid to share his opinions, also try to avoid treating him the way his mother treated him. Is there anything else you both would like to share with each other," she summarized.
"No, nothing else came to my mind," responded the silverback tiredly.
"No," answered Terk weakly.
"Okay," said Terkina's mother. "I think you both should take a rest now. Please, help each other in solving each other's problems, communicate more and more honestly. I think it would be beneficial to talk about Kong's relationship with his mother. If there's a problem, even with one another don't hide it," she added.
"Thanks for helping us," said her daughter.
"Thanks," said King Kong.
"You're welcome," replied Ishema.
The male and his mate spatiated back to their sleeping place then, fell asleep. After that, they discussed the suggested topic and things not mentioned in the intervention.
