There was no Akuma that day, only a rough day at work. Marinette was sick and not able to attend to Adrien and his 2 photoshoots. They each lasted for hours- that felt like years- and he was itching to see his confidante. His knuckles ready to tap on her trap door and ask for entry. Ladybug had been silent for a few days, which was not uncommon for her, even as Adrien. Chat Noir wanted something, he wanted something he only felt around Marinette. What was it?

As he approached the familiar balcony, Chat noticed the girl leaning against the railing with a blanket over her shoulders, with an empty watering pail in her hands. There was a soft smile on her face, her eyes watching over the amount of Paris she could see from where she stood. She looked so calm that Chat stopped. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her. There was no emotion he knew to describe how she looked. A small memory of the feeling flickered in the back of his mind, something he remembered feeling with his mother long ago.

Her eyes search the rooftops, eventually spotting him. Her smile widened as she waved him over. Having broken the cat from his trance, Chat lept over to her with ease. "Good Evening Chat, what brings you here today?" He was quiet and didn't answer her. He was afraid. Not of her, but of how much he may say on accident. His breaths were short and his eyes stung from all the tears hiding right behind them.

Chat didn't get another question, only a hand on his own. His head swivelled to see her concerned eyes. How selfish was he, coming to her house on her sick day to vent while she was probably feeling worse than he was? If it weren't for her hands that were slowly bringing him down to stand next to her, his feet would have carried him further away from her. Slowly, he was brought into a hug. It was soft and gentle, and she smelled of pastries. Her fingers dancing along the small of his back, letting him be enveloped by the smaller girl. There was nowhere safer, he thought, in the world.

A tear fell. Then another.

A small sound of struggling and a squeak of agony that wanted to belt out of his chest. It was there just before his teeth, aching to be let out. Instead, he slumped into his safe place that was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She draped the blanket around him and. held him up as he cried over her shoulder. They didn't speak for a long time. And the funny thing was, is that they didn't need to. She understood without even listening to his pain. He understood that she was there for him. Together they stayed for a long time.


A while later, Adrien had finally calmed down and Chat was back into the front seat. He sat on Mari's Chasse and waited for her to return. He stared at the ground in thought. Why had he come here? It was his first instinct. He hadn't even messaged or thought about Ladybug. Chat looked around the room, unsure of why he had even bothered her in the first place. She had redecorated a bit, a new chair, a few new blankets, some green fairy lights hanging by her bedside. It wasn't much different than before, but the small differences were noticeable- mostly because they threw off her room's natural colour palette. There was a picture on her desk, one that he had given her for her birthday last year. It was when the class had taken a trip to Disneyland just outside the city. The four of them looked so happy, and they were. It was his first time in a theme park with people he cared about. That's when he noticed the small things around her room.

There were so many memories hidden in plain sight. A fixed coffee mug beside her computer, a box of fabrics, gifts from Alya, even the charm bracelet that never left its spot beside her bedside table. He felt out of place among the things in this room. Every single piece had something he longed for. They were cherished and beloved by the person that took care of them. The itch to leave out the trapdoor and not come back was slowly taking hold of his thoughts. She didn't need this. She didn't deserve his pain, as she had done nothing but care for him, in both of his selves.

Just as he was about put his legs into gear, Marinette came back upstairs holding two mugs of hot chocolate and a small parcel of baked goods. There was a soft smile on her face as she walked over to him, handing him a mug and setting the parcel between them. She brought them both more blankets and sat close by him. She didn't need to say anything. Her smile said it with a clarity Chat was hardly used to.

As they sat in each other's company, neither of them speaking. There were a few small sneezes on Marinette's part, but it was mostly silent. Surprisingly, it was the most comforting thing Chat had ever experienced. The drink wasn't scalding, and the pastries almost as if they were fresh out of the oven. Eventually, Chat did speak.

"You asked me before, about two months ago, if managing my hero and Civilian life was tiring." She nodded and waited for him to continue. "It is never easy. In one life I am pampered and coddled while I get no decent respect in the other. I am adored only for my job and in the other, I am free to be who I want, but never with the girl I want. The only thing that stays the same in both of my lives is that people seem to completely…" he trailed off, not wanting to face the truth of it.

"In my civilian life, I have a girlfriend." There was a shock that spread across her face, and he chuckled. "Don't look so surprised, Princess." Her mouth closed and started in with her questions.

"What happened with Ladybug?" Chat chuckled and leaned back against the chasse.

"She found someone of her own, I suppose. She seemed happier, almost a year ago. We never share the details of our nitty-gritty lives, so I will never know for sure, but I, I decided to move on from a dream. Turns out I may still be in a dream." Marinette looked a bit confused, so he clarified. "I found a girl who loved me as a civilian. It has been nice, up until recently."

"Chat, are you going through relationship abuse?" Chat was caught surprised and choked on a bit of his hot chocolate. Her utter confusion and look of panic were practically priceless. If there was a way he could re-create it, he would. His laugh echoed through the room.

"No, no, you miss understand me, Mari. But this cat does appreciate your concern." His grin was still on his face as he continued, slowly dropping as each word left his chest. "My dear likes the thought of me and likes who she thinks I am." Marinette still looked confused, but as his words sunk into the room, they also crept into her mind. She understood the feeling all too well.

"As Chat, I am as true to myself as I can be. A charming rascal that makes mistakes, and that's okay." His ears dropped and his fists tightened. "As a civilian, I have to be perfect. Maintain the great image given to me at the expense of everything."

A hand covered his clenched fists. Chat looked over to see Marinette, such a determined look in her eyes and a look so pained he would have thought his mother died again. "Chat, if you ever need anything, I am here for you, okay? No matter what time of day it is, no matter who sees me around you. I can handle media, but I can't watch this go by anymore."

Warmth pricked his heart, and tears left his face. Gently, she brushed them away, opening her arms and inviting him in. Chat set the pastries aside and hugged her tightly. His head on her shoulder blade tilting up into her neck, hands clasped around her back, laying between her legs. Adrien and Ladybug had done this a few times, but not like this. Those times were awkward and tense, this was light and loving. It was as if the sun had come through the window to warm up this singular room when it was supposed to be asleep. Her fingers ran through his hair and he sighed contently.

It was perfect. This was perfect.

So why, in the moments after he got home, did he feel so horrid with his actions?

The next day, Marinette was quite at work. He will admit, she had some tendencies to be quiet, but this was oddly more than usual. She did as much was needed from her, and the shoots still went by smoothly, but there was something she was avoiding. Similarly to Ladybug, she started to be more neutral to his other half. There was something familiar about it that bothered him, but he hadn't the guts as Adrien to ask. If he couldn't talk to Ladybug about it, was there ever a chance to talk to Marinette?

It didn't matter what he did, she wouldn't look his way. Their eyes glazed in thought. She was even starting to become a bit clumsy again. It wasn't a bad thing, Adrien found it cute, but the day she knocked down the racks just before the shoot, Adrien had to be quick and stall for time as she fixed her mess quickly. Nothing had torn but a white blouse had to be quickly washed and blow-dried. They were able to hold off that set of the outfit until the end.

Even Plagg, his insanely grumpy kwami, was quiet. When Adrien asked for advice the tiny god would clam up, and sigh. The voice of destruction looking more distracted than Adrien was.

A/N: This will not last for more than four more chapters, and I will not be making more. This story is not meant to be insanely dramatic; it is practically dramatic. This is a reflection on relationships in general as well as the love square. Recently, I have been watching Amelie, and I believe I could make an AU out of it. Any thoughts on that? It's a French drama in which the main female lead helps the people around her by doing small things, to give them the simple pleasures in life. All the while searching for the little things that make her happy. It is an odd, but fantastic movie.

While I was writing this, I had Patrick Watson in the background (Great Escape specifically). Somehow, his music makes me think of this love square. The struggles between civilian life and the bonds they make in their hero lives. It's calm and yet oddly dramatic. It is a bit comforting to write stories about characters who need to find themselves in their respective lives. Sometimes it feels like you live two lives, maybe at home, maybe with friends, and when you are in a different place you are comfortable, with no one who knows who you are, you feel free to make mistakes.

Has anyone else felt like this in their lives?

Stay Tuned and Thanks for Reading!