"A melancholic chapter somehow and still filled with a lot of offered comfort." This time around, Azula gets some solace. "I love how you play with the duality of thr frozen wild all around Azula." Thanks! Honestly I think icy landscapes are the picture of duality; they are gorgeous but they are merciless. "Like Azula has aknowledged the beauty and peace this place can offer, she still fears it more for now and so Sokka is also not sure what he should think about Azula. Don.t know if this was a plan of you, but it is a parallel I have seen here and I like it." That's actually exactly what I was trying to do. :D
"And her tendencies to bottle things up, so it's wonderful to see her daring to speak about the nightmare." I feel like Azula without her memories would be a little more open because she doesn't remember her upbringing. But I feel as though there would be instincts left behind that keep her from being completely open."And still how Azula get the messages between the lines, how she keeps asking the right questions, which brings her closer to the bitter and dangerous truth about her lost memory and the person she has been before." Yeah, she's still her sly self. She'll get her answers whether it is a good thing or a bad thing.
"How might other people react at Azula, how will his friends and family react and also how will Azula react, when she'll find out facts about her former life." These things are about to be revealed. Even if it isn't in full yet."I'm sure we will have to be prepared for some big emotions and a rough ride sooner or later." Very true lol. "Have some great time with all your running works and keep on having fun with your stories." Thank you again! :D
A bitter wind whips at her face bringing with it a bitingly cold sting. Azula has come to find that the only thing worse than the poles is the poles at sea. She curls her fingers around the rails and looks out at the rolling waves. Their captain carefully navigates the water, weaving between large blocks of ice. On the odd occasion they come to a block that they can't avoid, and so the few firebenders on board melt it away.
Having nothing better to do as well as no desire to float in the icy ocean, she takes to helping them clear some of the ice.
She folds her arms over her chest, wondering just what the hell is taking Sokka so long. She lets a few more minutes pass before wandering below deck to seek the man out. As far as she is concerned, she has waited more than long enough to learn a thing or two about her past, especially with the way people look at her.
It isn't lost on her that they seem to slink back as she passes. That they exchange glances and hushed words and take special care to avoid meeting her gaze.
Finally she succumbs to boredom enough to try to make conversation. She doesn't quite know where to begin so she simply finds a spot next to girl and mutters, "it's aggravatingly cold on deck."
The girl seems to go tense and gives a nervous laugh, "yeah, cold."
"I suppose that you're used to it?" Azula asks.
"Just because I'm from the tribes doesn't mean that I like the cold…" She pauses. "That's like assuming all firebenders can't swim."
"We can't." Azula confirms. But the girl doesn't laugh. Perhaps her delivery had been too deadpan. She is certain that she hasn't said anything particularly unsettling, but the girl seems absurdly uneasy. And so she retreats, finding herself rather isolated and without knowing why.
Yes. It is definitely time to pry answers from Sokka.
.oOo.
The waters roll and rock the boat, but they aren't the reason for his nervous jitters. He sits in the corner of his quarters and waits for Katara to arrive. She will either be compassionate and sympathetic or completely off-put and angry. There is seldom an in between during the initial discussion.
"Hi, Sokka." She greets with a cheerful smile. She holds out a steaming cup of tea.
Sokka accepts it but isn't quite ready for a drink.
"What did you want to talk to me about."
" I wanted to talk to you about the woman I saved…"
Katara nods, "what's her name, anyways?" And then she seems to recall something. "Oh, that's right, she doesn't remember it. What have you been calling her?"
Sokka takes a deep breath. "I lied, Katara. She does remember her name. But…" he pauses. "That's the only thing she remembers."
Katara crinkles her brows, "why would you lie about something so stupid?"
He supposes that it is better to rip the band-aid. "It isn't stupid, trust me." And yet he still finds himself stalling, even if it is only for a single sentence. Katara tilts her head and he knows that, he hasn't even bought himself that much. "It's Azula. She's Azula."
Katara opens her mouth in a silent sputter.
"I didn't know that when I saved her and even if I did, we couldn't have just let her die."
Katara sighs. "Of course we couldn't have let her die. But we don't need to keep her around either. We need to get her back to the institution."
Sokka reflexively cringes, before logic settles; she was only speaking of sending the princess back to the Fire Nation hospital. His nerves don't subside, if anything his paranoia hightents. "What if that institution is linked to the one she escaped in the poles?" In which case, he notes, she would have had to have been taken back to the Fire Nation one somehow and then transferred to the location in the poles. Katara leaves him no time to reflect on that theory.
"What if it is?" She may as well have added a 'so' at the sentence's front with that tone.
"She ran away from it…"
"Why are you assuming that they mistreated her and that she didn't escape to go after Zuko again?"
"She can't remember a thing." Sokka replies.
"We last saw her in the Forgetful Valley, Sokka. You don't think that she might have done this to herself?" Katara asks. "She wasn't exactly stable when we saw her last."
"I don't know. Something isn't right. I don't know what it is but I think that it's more than than. She wasn't all there," he gestures at his head, "but she's not dumb enough to go around pissing off spirits."
Katara quirks a brow.
"Look, I just think that there's more to it. She was in the Fire Nation and then I find her, almost dead, in a snowstorm."
"Here's what I think happened." Katara pauses. "I think that she wandered back into that jungle, angered a few spirits, wandered out of the jungle, and was found and re-committed."
"Then how'd she end up in the poles, Katara?"
"She's dangerous. TyLee couldn't be there all the time to block her chi so they sent her to a facility that could...contain her. Like the coolers in the boiling rock."
"We can't just send her back there. Not until we know what happened."
"Nothing happened, Sokka. Nothing that she didn't do to herself." Katara insists.
"She has nightmares." He counters. "I think that she's afraid."
This gives Katara pause. A halt that he takes advantage of. "How can we punish her for things that she doesn't remember doing?"
"She's still dangerous."
"I don't think that she is." Sokka says. "How can she remember that she wants to hurt us or overthrow Zuko if she doesn't even remember us at all? Her fire is orange now, I think that she can only bend by instinct."
Katara hesitates again. "Her being able to bend without remembering any forms...that's scary. That's a sign that she is dangerous. We're going to bring her home and then she's going back to the institution."
"We're at least going to talk to Zuko-you know, her brother-about this, right?"
"She tried to kill him and then me while I tried to save him; he's going to say the same thing." Katara replied. "But, yeah, of course we're going to talk to him."
The unease in his stomach only intensifies. He truly hopes that he'll have better luck convincing Zuko. The butterflies double twice over at the realization that he might have just made Katara angry. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." He calls to the empty doorway. He flops down onto the bed with a resigned groan. He wonders just why he cares so much, it isn't as though she had treated him any better in the past.
"There you are." Azula remarks.
Sokka bolts upright. "Spirits! Don't do that."
Azula gives a little laugh. "Priceless."
"That's not funny." He grumbles.
"Well you're pleasant company." She frowns.
"Says the one who can't appreciate the southern water lights!"
Azula shrugs and makes herself comfortable at the foot of his bed. "You said that you would tell me about my past." She pauses. "Do it."
"You were always this commanding." Sokka shrugs.
"So you have a sense of humor afterall."
"I am the funniest guy on team Avatar!" He declares.
"Team avatar?"
Sokka sighs, "I'll tell you about that later." He tries to pick his brain for a pleasant memory. Anything that doesn't paint her as someone evil. He rubs his head, having trouble doing so. Maybe he ought to just cave in and tell her that she'd been stark raving mad the last time that'd met. But is that really any better than telling her that she was out to conquer or destroy the world in the name of her father?
He observes her drumming her fingers upon the mattress.
He recalls her chasing them down, tracking them and keeping them up all night. He remembers how she'd taunted him about Suki, the way she used her as bait. He remembers Katara recounting how she didn't think that she'd make it out of that final battle alive.
And he begins to resent the woman sitting on his bed, twirling her bangs around her finger. Maybe he should just throw her back into the institution and let her solve things herself.
"I'm a bad person, aren't I?"
Sokka flinches. "Why would you think that."
She gestures around the ship, presumably to people that aren't present. "Why wouldn't I?" The question hangs for a moment. "No one will talk to me. You don't want to tell me anything about me…"
Briefly his mind wanders to how the crew would recognize her when Katara did not. Perhaps she was simply trying not to see the truth. Having let the silence drag for too long already he starts, "Azula…"
Her deadpan expression unsettles him as she cuts in, "I'd rather know that I'm dreadful than know nothing at all."
.oOo.
Sokka's expression softens. Whatever resentment that had built up inside of him-no doubt the same breed that is harbored by everyone else on the ship-seems to ebb away. His face softens. "You're not a bad person."
"Don't lie to me!" She snaps. He winces.
"You don't have to be a bad person…"
"Don't patronize me either." She warns, her voice taking on a sinister sort of low.
He lifts his hands, "I'm not trying to."
His expression, the fear and retreat. She is only confirming what she now knows to be true. "Alright. Fine. I'm sure that there are plenty of people around who will have no problem telling me exactly who I am." It is probably better this way, she'd find more truth from someone who would disregard her feelings completely.
He catches her hands, "your mom was banished and your brother wanted to find her." Sokka starts. "We went on this whole journey and there was this thing that happened."
Azula rolls her eyes. "A thing?"
"We were attacked by some kind of spirit wolf that threw up spirit moth-wasps. It was about to ruin everything and then you made this big ball of lightning and all of the moth-wasps flew into it. The wolf and the rest of the swarm retreated." He says. "You saved us."
Sokka's grip on her wrist loosens and she finds herself sitting back down.
"You told me that I smelled like a wet possum-pidgeon."
She succeeds in not laughing but can't suppress a faintly humored smile. She supposes that, that does sound like her. "Why?"
"Because we were trying to sneak around and we needed disguises. I made a beard out of fur. I had too, it's a classic! But you didn't like it." He declares. "On that same quest, we were attacked by...nature."
"By nature?"
"Long story. The point is, I was about to get strangled...or something...by a bunch of vines. You saved me from that too…and then you said that you only did it so that you'd have more peasants around to keep you safe."
"If I help people, then why do they look at me the way they do."
Sokka bites his cheek. "You...uh...you went a little…" he holds his finger up to his head and twirls his finger.
She stares at her palms, "oh."
"Yeeeah…"
He isn't making her feel any less awkward.
But she had asked for...demanded answers. "That's how I ended up in that institution, isn't it?" At least she can piece together some of the how's.
"That's the thing that doesn't make any sense." Sokka replies, practically throwing his hands up. "I've been thinking about it for a while...you escaped…" he reconsiders his words. "You made a deal with your brother and he let you leave and then you ran away. You were still in the Fire Nation when that happened."
"Exactly where did I run to?"
"Right into the Forgetful Valley."
Azula's belly tickles unpleasantly. She rubs her hands over her face, "so I did this to myself?" She feels a disorientation to match that which she felt in the tundra. Had she taken her own memories? Had they, those people, taken her for her own protection? Perhaps she has simply filled the holes in her mind with visions as ominous as they are untrue.
"I. I don't think so." Sokka puts a sudden halt on her self-doubt.
Azula cocks her head. "Why?"
"Mostly because of your nightmares. But I guess it's also because why would you run away if they didn't hurt you?"
Azula shrugs, "because I'm crazy."
She ought to start keeping a tally on how much she makes him flinch.
"You said that they did something to you."
"I thought that they did…" now she is beginning to doubt. "Maybe I did something to me, Sokka." What if they were just trying to save her from herself? She rubs her hands over her face again and lets them rest there. It could be that they were trying to save her from herself. That she is a cocktail of mental affliction; simply a mess of amnesia accompanied by paranoid delusions.
A hand presses itself, comfortingly, between her shoulder blades. "You didn't do this to yourself."
"I did." She persists. "You said it yourself, I lost my mind. And then I lost it again..."
