I might be taking a little hiatus with this one so I can focus on finishing my two other fics. I'm getting a bit busy again so managing three fics is no longer possible.
Gems: Thank you. It was a pretty good time!
"The nightmares, which keeps her awake and pushes her to the edge, her patience, which is running low because of the whole situation." Yeah her poor sleep has her a little cranky and edgy. "You have captured her character so well, how she got tired of Sokka beating around the bush." Thanks :) she definitely isn't the sort to enjoy sugar coating and subject dodging."Sokka telling her that evil is deeply rooted in her personality in his opinion and the news, that she has killed someone." It has definitely instilled some doubt in her that could have been avoided. "Sokka instantly realize his mistake, that his temper hasn't help to keep her in the light." But at that point it is a bit too late. "Azula is good at hiding her feelings and these news have probably scared her to the bone." She's definitely unsettled at the very least because she thinks that she has truly murdered someone. "It has hurt to read this conversation or in other words, great job! Really excited how things will going on. Keep on having fun with your stories." Thank you again. :D
Sick.
She feels sick.
And maybe that is a good thing.
Yes, it's probably better that she feels disgusted with herself. She likes to think that, that is sign enough that she isn't a killer to the bone.
Even still…
She hugs her legs to her chest.
Azula decides that she no longer wants her memories back. She doesn't want to know what it is like to watch the light leave someone's eyes or to watch a body drop.
There comes a knock. She should answer it but she wants to be alone. She fixes her eyes on the ceiling. She rubs her hands over her face. Another rapping. She rolls over.
She waits for the footsteps to retreat before making any movement at all. And then another hour after that to decide that it might be good to get some fresh air–even if that air is tinged with an overpowering salty taste. It takes her another half an hour after to work up the energy to make her way to the deck.
There are too many people there. She feels boundlessly more comforted in isolation.
She has no one to blame but herself. She wanted the truth; she insisted that she could handle it…
"Azula."
She turns around. It is Katara. She nods her acknowledgement.
"You look tired." The girl comments.
Azula shrugs.
"You didn't come to breakfast."
"I didn't feel the need."
"It's almost lunchtime."
"Yeah." Azula makes a half hearted mental note of it. She turns her focus back to the approaching land mass. It looks lush and green; inviting. A volcano juts from its surface; a host to a large sprawling city from the looks of it.
It can't arrive soon enough.
For a change, the air is balmy and warm. The friendlier weather does its part to keep her from losing it entirely. She watches a few birds circle overhead, making their own way to the Fire Nation. They are too far for her to tell exactly what kind of birds they are.
As Azula watches the water as it undulates beneath the boat, she can't keep her mind from wandering to who she might have killed. Was it a boy or a girl? Her age? Older? Agni forbid this person was younger. She curls her fingers more tightly around the boat's rails.
"Are you okay?" Katara asks.
What is she supposed to say? That she has just found out that she has killed someone, that she is likely to be locked away as soon as she sets foot on mainland soil. That she might just deserve it. That there is a reason she had been institutionalized. "I'm fine."
"Somehow we're going to get your memories back, if that's what's bothering you."
Fingers of fear tickle at her stomach. "Thanks…" She trails off casting her eyes downward.
.oOo.
"She's being awfully quiet." Katara remarks of the princess.
"She's always quiet." Sokka shrugs.
"More than usual."
He shrugs again. So what if he hurt her, after all of her manipulations and schemes, she is due for a little hurt. He'll work with her after she decides that she wants to apologize or at least show a little gratitude.
"Maybe you should talk to her." Katara says.
"Why don't you?" He asks.
"I tried." Katara answers. "She wouldn't tell me what was wrong. She'll probably talk to you."
"Doubt it." He grumbles.
Katara's eyes briefly widen with realization. A somewhat smug smile decorating her face, "she's mad at you, isn't she?"
"Why are you smiling, it's not funny!" He already knows exactly what answer he is going to receive.
"Because I knew that this was a bad idea." And there it is. Not that he isn't beginning to agree with her. He still isn't sure why he thought that Azula would be any less difficult and hard to get along with.
"I'll figure it out." He frowns.
"Well we're gonna be in the Fire Nation soon, so you might want to get her sorted out quickly."
.oOo.
She is in equal parts glad to be off of that boat and dreading what dry land has to offer. She can still feel the ground rocking and lulling beneath her feet, as though she is still out at sea. It was only a short journey, but she has decided that she had already been on the waters for too long.
"Katara!" Greets a boy. A strange boy, bald and with an arrow tattooed upon his head. She realizes that they decorate his hands too. "It's nice to see you again." He throws his arms around the waterbender.
She scans the faces. There is a scarred man, a tiny blind girl, a perky woman with a long braid, and a woman who seems to radiate gloom.
The scarred man steps forward, "hi, Sokka, how have you been?"
She notes the gold piece adorning his hair and assumes that this man is her brother. But he doesn't seem to pay her any mind.
"It's nice to have everyone together again!" Exclaims the cheerful girl.
"Yeah, a real joy." Says the other.
Azula stands silently with her hands behind her back for the duration of their reunion, feeling out of place at best and completely unwelcomed worst. She does nothing to draw attention to herself, she'd rather not have it anyhow.
No sooner does she get comfortable in her solitude does the scarred man...her brother?...acknowledge her. "Azula?"
A cluster of eyes turn on her. She slips her hands into her pockets and tries to hold her head high under the weight of the stares. Rather unfriendly stares.
"You should have stayed wherever you were." The blind girl cracks her knuckles. Azula quirks a brow in the girl's direction, a gesture that is naturally lost on the girl.
"It wasn't my idea to come back."
"Where were you, anyways." The scarred man asks.
"I don't remember." Azula mumbles.
.oOo.
He almost feels bad for leaving her to face all of them alone. If their flurry of questions rattle her, she gives no indication. She turns her head and for the briefest moment, they meet eyes. He looks for any sign of a silent plea for him to step in, but her expression is as impassive and untelling as ever so he leaves her to fend for herself.
She wouldn't off him any thanks for stepping in anyhow.
"Why don't we just put her back in the asylum where she belongs." Mai suggests. "That'll resolve things quickly."
He expects her to retaliate. To insist that they can't punish her for something she doesn't remember doing. To try to talk her way out of it.
She makes no protest.
She says nothing at all.
To his surprise, it is Katara who speaks up. "She lost her memories."
Zuko offers his sister a quizzical look. "Why didn't you mention that?"
"Because it doesn't matter, does it?" She accents her question with a shrug. "You'll think what you will of me, no matter what I say."
"You lost your…"
"That doesn't mean I've changed any." She gives Sokka a pointed glare. "If I was a threat before, then I'm a threat now."
