Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz, buzz.
Furuichi blearily opened his eyes at the sounds of annoying bees that must have been flying past his ears.
Buzz. Buzz, buuuzzz!
Furuichi thought better than to simply throw a pillow over his ears to get rid of the noise. If that was the door, then the silvernette knew Oga would never get up to answer it. The brute was beyond deaf when deep asleep. The snapshots of yesterday flooded in his mind and Furuichi had to sit up to allow the wave of nausea to settle.
Buzz!
"Alright already! Tch." Furuichi clambered out of bed to wrench open the door, "Yes?"
"Oh! My apologies, good sir. I was under the impressions that Oga Tatsumi lived here. My mistake."
Furuichi couldn't comprehend the sight of the man in front of him. Exceptionally large wearing nothing but an A-shirt and shorts in November, wearing huge fake eyelashes and a haircut from a previously lost era. Furuichi snapped out of his stupor long enough to croak "wait."
"I'm his roommate."
"Oh, splendid! How embarrassing it otherwise would've been. Anyway, I brought Be'el's things…"
"'Be'el's things'?"
Furuichi dared to poke his head outside the door to see enough baby things to fill up a department store. No way in hell was all this going to fit in the apartment!
He watched in awe as the oversized man gathered almost everything in the wide wingspan of his arms. Furuichi had moved away just in time so as not to be assaulted with everything to do with babies.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Oh, dear me," the large man turned to Furuichi not even the slightest bit breathless. "I haven't introduced myself. My name is Alaindelon. And who might you be?"
Furuichi stared at the hand outstretched toward him. Even if it was friendly, the silvernette didn't want his hand crushed. Well, it's better to take it than not. The sensible voice in his head argued.
"Furuichi Takayuki."
"Ah, look, the man of the hour!"
"Good to see you too, Alaindelon." Oga yawned while Alaindelon oohed and ahhed over the green-haired baby.
"Oga, what's going on?"
Oga looked at the gigantic pile of diapers, baby formula, toys and baby clothes. Rubbing a hand on the back of his head, Oga shrugged and let his arm fall to slap loudly against his thigh.
"Hey Furuichi," Oga forced himself to meet confused grey eyes, "Want to have a baby?"
…
"What? And before finals?"
Furuichi was beside himself, never mind that Baby Be'el clearly enjoyed the scene. Furuichi looked as though he was ready to summon every ounce of strength from his ancestors if it gave him a better chance to strangle the brunet.
"It's only for a little while. I mean how hard can it be?"
"It's hard. Very hard."
"Oh yeah?" This piqued Oga's interest because he leaned forward so far that he was within kissing distance of the silvernette and didn't take a chance at meeting their lips.
"Yes. It is. I had to raise Honoka the first few years because my parents ended up having to work later hours to support us for your information."
Oga sucked his teeth as he went back to leaning on the chair. Apparently, Oga had been disappointed Furuichi didn't have a secret love child of his own. Be'el had gotten bored with the strange pair of spikey dice on the floor. It struck Furuichi that he had been too upset to even bother learning that baby's name. It wasn't the baby's fault he was born and Furuichi wasn't going to punish his existence just because Oga hadn't mentioned anything.
"So, what's his name anyway?"
The baby clambered onto Oga's lap and squealed at Furuichi as if addressing his question.
"Dabu dabudabudabuuuu."
Oga stared at Furuichi with the same blank expression as when Furuichi asked him what his schedule was for the start of the second semester.
"You...don't know his name…do you?"
Oga gave an exasperated huff.
"Of course, I know his name! It's...damnit!"
Oga rose and dumped the baby into Furuichi's reluctant arms.
"It's here somewhere…"
Baby Be'el and Furuichi stared at each other. Furuichi got the feeling that he was being sized up.
"Ah ha! Found it!"
Walking over excitedly with the baby's birth certificate Oga read aloud, "Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV!"
"DA!" The baby kicked happily at his father's performance. Furuichi had the sneaking suspicion that his mother got a kick out of saying it, and did so often.
"Why…" Furuichi had no idea where to start. That name was not only terrible, it sounded…menacing.
"Wait a minute. 'Beelzebub'? As in the demon? And the fourth? How many children do you have?"
"One, Annoyichi! And yeah, like the demon. Hilda's a devoted goth."
Furuichi couldn't help the sour look on his face when Oga mentioned her name. Oga obliviously took Baby Be'el from his grasp. Furuichi's questions bubbled out from his lips as Oga's back was turned. "Does this mean-"
"Hah?"
"Are you guys back together?" Furuichi spat out the words as fast as he could to make sure he didn't lose his nerve halfway. The room dropped several degrees and the dead look in Oga's eyes told all Furuichi needed to know.
Somewhere in the gigantic pile of baby things a heavy metal song screeched to life. On cue, the baby immediately began to fuss. Thinking it was the noise, Furuichi dove into the pile to pull out a small digital timer with a message that read "feeding time". This was going to be much harder than when Honoka was a baby that's for sure.
…
"'KuroBlack's album Sleep Is for The Dead? What kind of lullaby is that?"
Now nighttime, the silvernette began to diligently read the 8-inch manual Hilda left for Oga. According to the book though, it was already two minutes passed Baby Be'el's bedtime. Baby Be'el cried and fussed and kicked and bit and left the two abused makeshift fathers to flip wildly in the book for answers about how to get the baby to shut up for the night.
"Just play it already!"
"We don't have a CD player."
"Idiot Furuichi! I know she must've packed one!"
Both men, grouchy and short-tempered, silently challenged the other to wade in the sea of things Hilda had left for the baby. Baby Be'el's shrieks went an octave higher making the baby sound more like a wounded banshee. This forced the brute and the silvernette to hastily tear through the pile.
"Here! Put this in. Hurry!"
"Yeah, you said that last time- ouch!"
Furuichi elbowed Oga hard between the ribs. He still hadn't forgiven Oga about kissing Hilda. The brute still hadn't explained himself or apologized.
Finally playing the CD and bracing himself, Furuichi wasn't prepared for the deceptively soothing voice cooing from the CD player. Whatever this guy was singing definitely wasn't in Japanese.
"What's he saying?" Furuichi felt his eyes began to feel heavy despite himself.
"He's singing about how he wishes to murder 666 people so he can meet the devil himself."
Furuichi's eyes snapped wide open and he watched in horror as the baby's eye lids closed to show that he had gone fast asleep.
A/N: Hello everyone~ stay safe and stay healthy. See you next week :)
