Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island, Cameron realized he was on the bottom of the totem pole and rallied the votes to get Scott out in case the Bass lost. Jasmine worried that Sky and Dave's love fest would get in the way of challenges. Scott knocked Jasmine off the airplane, but she was fortunate enough to land on a sofa bed. Scott, not so much...I guess karma will do that to you. Anne Maria showed everyone how to tame an angry wild moose. Samey broke both of her arms in the final challenge, resulting in a loss for the Gophers. They all came together to vote her out later that night...poor soul, broken arms AND stuck at Playa Des Losers with Amy. Yikes. And now, let's see what's in store for our campers this week on Total Drama Island!
The sun has just risen. The sky is orange and birds are doing their...usual thing.
The campers are slowly pouring into the mess hall. Chris and Chef are waiting for them.
Lightning: Hey! Where's the breakfast?!
Lightning looks at the empty counter.
Chris: Oh, there'll be plenty of food later on.
Chris and Chef chuckle. The last person walks into the door and sits down with their team.
Chris: Congratulations to the remaining ten campers for reaching the halfway mark in the competition! You'll all be on the jury in the final episode.
Shawn: Heck yeah!
Chris: The two teams will become one next week...but first, all the girls will be moved to the Gopher cabin and all the guys will stay in the Bass cabin. This week's challenge is as old as history itself: a battle of the sexes.
Anne Maria: Ayo, wait! We only got four and they have six!
Chris: Eh, don't care.
Anne Maria rolls her eyes.
Chris: After everyone is settled in, I'll announce the challenge. And then...you'll have a...uh...bite to eat!
Chris and Chef chuckle again. Everyone looks confused.
Chris: And the good news? No one will be leaving this week.
Everyone cheers.
Chris: It's all for reward, and it's a GOOD one. Okay, time to relocate! Let's move!
Chris and Chef chuckle once again.
Outside of the mess hall, Sky and Jasmine are walking together.
Sky: Listen, the Bass don't seem to get along...especially Jo and Anne Maria.
Jasmine: I agree.
Sky: I've got your back if you've got mine in case one of them tries to come for us.
Jasmine: Of course, mate! You're my friend. However, we should try to make them put their differences aside for the team. I wanna win this reward.
Sky: I know. We really deserve it.
Jasmine: More than anything.
Dave walks out of the males' side of the Gopher cabin and walks to the females side.
Sky: Hey, Dave!
Dave: Hey, Sky. Looks like we'll be against each other now.
Sky: And I'm ready to take you down! Haha…
Dave: Yeah...heh…
Sky: Don't worry, Dave. I'm joking. This is a game. Nothing different than a board game or something. Let's not let it ruin our relationship, okay?
Dave: Of course. I get that. Talk to you later.
(Conf) Sky: I really do worry that Dave is gonna think I have something against him when we compete. I don't. I still want that money. That's what I came here for!
Jasmine and Sky are sitting on their bed when they hear two arguing voices get louder.
Anne Maria: Nuh uh, I ain't sleepin' under you so I can smell your nasty man farts.
Jo: Well I don't want fake tanner DRIPPING on me while I sleep.
Anne Maria: You're pale! You could use a tan anyways!
At this point, they're in the doorway. They both turn awkwardly and look at Sky and Jasmine.
Jo: Uh, hey ladies.
Jasmine: Well if it isn't the cheater.
Jo: Sorry about your friend. I didn't mean to break her arms, you have to know that.
Jasmine: Well, you still played dirty.
Jo: You have to sometimes.
Jasmine: Fine. The past is the past, right?
Anne Maria scoffs.
Anne Maria: Some may say so…
Jo: Anyways, yes. Look, I know we all don't get along. I don't know about you, but I wanna win this next challenge. It's crucial. And beating Brick will feel great.
Anne Maria: Here she goes about Brick. Brick this, Brick that.
Jo: If you would shut it for 5 seconds, you would know why. He always challenges me. At this point it's unspoken. Whenever we can, we compete to see who is stronger, faster, or smarter.
Sky: Uh, like a friendly rivalry?
Jo: You could say that...we're not really friends though. No one is.
Sky: Jasmine and I are.
Jo: And what happens when you have to vote each other out?
Jasmine: Well, we both know it's just a game.
Jo: Yeah, we'll see if you think that after you're eliminated.
Sky: Well let's get set up and head down to the mess hall asap. We gotta be more than ready for this next challenge, especially at a disadvantage.
The guys are all in their cabin setting their stuff up.
Dave: Wow, your cabin is a bit cleaner than ours was.
Scott: Yeah, it's pretty tight in here.
Shawn: We can lock the doors in here, right? Our lock was broken, which is very worrying. Wouldn't want a zombie to bust in here while we sleep and eat us alive.
Everyone goes silent.
Lightning: Sha-what?!
Brick: Uh, yeah, our lock works.
Dave: You get used to the zombie stuff...okay, maybe not, but it becomes more tolerable.
Cameron raises his eyebrow in confusion.
Back in the girls' cabin, everyone is unpacking. Anne Maria takes up several drawers for her clothes in the dresser.
Jo: Hey! You can't use that many. Where am I gonna put my clothes?
Anne Maria: Just put them in your suitcase under the bed or somethin'. It's just gray sweatpants.
Jo: I don't want to, I have the right to put them in the dresser like everyone else.
Anne Maria: No one wants your sweaty underwear touching their clothes!
Jo: You ALWAYS do this!
Anne Maria: FINE. YOU WANT THE DRESSER, THEN TAKE IT!
Anne Maria rips all of her clothes out and throws them at Jo. A belt hits Jo in the face.
Jo: So that's how it's gonna be?!
Sky: Uh, ladies-
Jo throws a pair of shoes at Anne Maria. She ducks.
Anne Maria: Ha! Missed me!
As soon as she says that, a dumbbell hits Anne Maria in the face.
Jasmine: GIRLS!
They both stop and look at Jasmine.
Jasmine: We HAVE to get along. We're a TEAM now. You can hate each other, but do it in private and not to each others' faces. We're already down 2 people compared to the guys. And you know how guys are. They're ego maniacs. We can't let them have this.
Jo sighs.
Jo: Look, if she can stop being an annoying little brat then I can ignore her.
Anne Maria: Fine. Take the bottom drawer though. I want the top.
Jo: Aw, come on-
She turns to see Jasmine and Sky crossing their arms. Jo stops.
Jo: Fine.
(Conf) Jo: After the Samey incident, I need to get Jasmine and Sky onto my side. So I'll try to do what they want. Note the word TRY. I don't even know if it's possible to ignore Anne Maria.
(Conf) Sky: It's like complete chaos in there. They're both so mad at each other for some reason...it's insane.
At the mess hall, the girls are grouped and the boys are grouped.
Chris: It's time for today's challenge!
Lightning: Wait! We still didn't get to eat today. What's up with that?! Lightning needs his protein!
Chef and Chris chuckle once again.
Scott: Will you stop doing that?!
Chris: Let's just tell them...today's challenge is...the brunch of disgustingness! You'll be getting a nine course meal. Each member of each team must finish their dish to earn a point.
Anne Maria: Looks like having less members is beneficial after all!
Chris: You won't know if the next dish is grosser than the last, not as gross, or just as gross. Just that it'll likely be...gross.
Chef: Tell them what they'll get if they win, Chris!
Chris: The winning team will win a stay at a local five star resort where they'll be pampered, eat gourmet food, and be treated for anything they may have caught while participating in this challenge! The losing team will go hungry tonight and spend the next two days here...at Camp Wawanakwa...with Chef.
Chef waves with an evil smile on his face. Everyone gasps.
Anne Maria: Oh yeah, we definitely gotta win this. I need a pedicure so bad.
(Conf) Sky: A few days away from camp would be soooo nice. I wish Dave could come if we win…
Everyone sits down at their table. The boys at one, the girls at another.
Scott: Heh, you ladies are going down.
Jo: Yeah, down to the docks to board a boat that'll take us away to a five star resort.
Shawn: Only in your wildest dreams!
Chris: Let's begin the challenge! First…
Everyone takes the top off of the plates in front of them.
Chris: Our appetizer!
Dave: Meatballs?
Cameron: I love my mom's meatballs!
Chris: Well, technically they are Dave. But these are kinda special.
Chef: It's beef testicles!
The scene quickly changes to a farm and shows a cow crying. It switches back.
Everyone looks down at their plates.
Sky: Well...uh…
Dave: This hits a little too close to home for us guys.
Scott: Wayyyy too close to home.
Chris: It's the hardest thing a man can do.
Jo pops an entire one in her mouth. The guys all gasp. The rest of the females follow her lead.
Jo: What's the matter? Big boys can't eat a little meatball?
Brick: Come on, guys. We've got this. We're men! We're stronger!
Anne Maria stops eating and holds her stomach.
Jo: Why'd you stop eating?
Anne Maria: In case you couldn't tell, I feel a little sick.
Jo: Well you can get treated for that at our FIVE STAR RESORT. NOW GET EATING!
The girls finish their plates first.
Shawn: I'm not doing it. Sorry, no way.
Chris: Well, looks like the guys lost this round. The first point goes to the female campers!
Brick facepalms.
Scott: Look at you, Mr. Judgy.
Brick: It's meat. It's not OUR meatballs.
Cameron: It was too painful, Brick. Maybe next they'll do something for the girls…
Lightning: Like a chicken breast!
Everyone stares.
Lightning: What?
Chris blows a whistle and everyone looks at him.
Chris: Pay attention to the challenge! The score is 1 for the girls, 0 for the guys. And now the next meal for...the brunch of disgustingness...you guys like pizza?
Anne Maria: My dad always took me out on Fridays to get pizza when I was younger. I love it!
Jo: Why the story?
Sky: Shush!
She turns to Chris.
Sky: We can eat ANYTHING on it!
Chris: Anything? Even live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies?
Anne Maria: Yo, I hate anchovies.
Lightning: What about the jellyfish...won't it like bite us or something?
Scott: Jellyfish sting you, genius.
Chris: Just eat carefully.
Chef drops a plate down at everyone's seat.
Jasmine: No way. I can't eat that.
Jo: Yes you can. I'm not gonna miss out a fun weekend because you can't stomach some pizza.
Jasmine: Yeah, and who's gonna make me eat it?!
Jo: You think I won't?!
(Conf) Jo: Heh...maybe not my best moment, but I WANTED that reward.
Sky: Girls, just try to eat as much as you can. You can do this, Jasmine.
Anne Maria takes a bite. All of the females look at her in disgust.
Anne Maria: ...yum...delicious…
She once again holds her stomach as it grumbles.
Anne Maria: You're next, Jasmine.
Jasmine frowns.
Sky: Let's chant her on. Go, Jasmine! Go, Jasmine!
Jo: Whatever. Go, Jasmine…
Jasmine takes a bite and swallows.
Anne Maria: Aw, yeah! That's what I call teamwork!
All 4 girls high five.
On the males side, everyone is slowly eating the pizza.
Lightning: Is jellyfish a good source of protein?
Chef shrugs.
Lightning: Hm…
He takes a bite.
Lightning chews and swallows. Scott and Brick follow. Cameron takes a bite and chews.
Cameron: Mmmm...tasty...heh…
Moments after saying that, Cameron vomits onto Lightning's head.
Cameron: I can't, I'm sorry!
Chris: The winners of this round...are the girls!
Scott: Crap. Down two points thanks to the pipsqueak over there.
Cameron gulps.
(Conf) Chef: I was excited about the next dish...made it from scratch...heh…(scratches himself)
Chris: Alright, who's ready for the third course?
The plates are revealed. Worms are seen moving with green liquid on top of them.
Chris: Well, actually earthworms covered in snail slime sauce and hairballs.
Anne Maria: You have got to be kidding me!
The guys all put blindfolds on and begin eating. Cameron slowly eats but is able to hold it down. Anne Maria chokes on a worm and falls over.
Chris: And the winners of this round...are the guys!
Sky: Come on, you guys. Let's show them some girl power!
Jo: Exactly! I've been saying that all along.
Anne Maria: Oh, shut it.
Chris: Alright everyone. It's time for course number four. No nine course meal would be complete without soup. Today's special is french bunion soup with hangnail crackers.
Jo: I literally see my own toenail in this…
Scott: I have an idea…
He hangs his head back and pours the soup down while closing his nose with a clothespin. He finishes the last drop.
Scott: Didn't even taste it, heh.
The rest of the guys follow.
Chris: The point goes to the guys!
Jo: Great, now we're tied!
Chris: Only five more courses left! Bon appetit!
A montage is shown of the campers eating nasty stuff. The girls win a point for eating Chef's chewed gum ball. The guys win a point for drinking skunk spray. The girls score for a flip flop with frosting while the guys score for garbage soup.
Chris: Wow, it's still tied up. We're down to the last course in the challenge! Iiiit's delicious...dolphin wieners!
Jasmine gasps.
Jasmine: Dolphins are our friends! I see them in Australia all the time!
Jo: Well I'm sure they'll understand. There's $100,000 and a spa weekend on the line.
Sky: I don't think I can eat it either…
Jo: What?! Come on, girls. This is all gonna be worth it!
Jasmine takes a bite but Sky refuses.
Jo: EAT IT!
Sky: NO! I'm not touching that thing. It's repulsive. You can't make me.
Brick: I'd prefer not to eat dolphin either.
(Conf) Chef: I slave over a hot stove cookin' dolphin and NO appreciation.
Sky and Brick both refuse to eat it.
Chris: Okay, enough. We'll solve this by having an eat off. Each team can choose a member to represent them.
Jasmine: Since Jo's such a star in eating nasty food, I say we pick her.
Anne Maria: Ay, I like the way you think.
Sky: I second that.
Jo: Fine, you wanna gang up on me? I'll do it.
Jo stands up.
Scott: Don't worry, boys. I'll take care of this.
Jo and Scott stand next to each other. Scott winks at Jo and she growls.
Chris: Whoever can drink the most shot glasses of fresh delicious blended cockroach will be our winner. This nutritious blend of eight different types of cockroaches is vitamin rich for your balanced lifestyle.
Chef pours the roaches in and blends them up. He pours the mixture into shot glasses.
Chris: On your mark…
Jo and Scott look worriedly at each other.
Chris: Get set…go!
They both begin chugging the warm roach shots. Jo gags but continues. They each stay steady with each other. Jo finally stops for a second while Scott keeps going, and he drinks one more shot glass than she does.
Chris: Scott wins for the guys!
Scott passes out.
The guys cheer.
Anne Maria: Nice job, Jo! So much for girl power.
Jo: I really think...something's wrong…
She then vomits onto the tray and again onto the floor. An alive roach is seen on the floor. Following this, everyone begins vomiting. Chef is seen angry that he has to clean up, but gags with Chris.
Chris: The guys are the big winners today, and the girls go their separate ways. Jo vs. the rest.
Chris narrates as the guys are shown boarding the yacht and Anne Maria, Jasmine, and Sky are seen locking Jo out of the cabin.
Jo: Let me in!
Chris: What shocking surprises are in store for our campers next week as they head for the big merge? Tune in on Total Drama Island!
The yacht full of the guys is seen floating away.
And there we have it! This episode definitely mirrored the canon one a bit, but oh well. I'm super happy with how it came out. Who do you guys predict will return come the merge? Who will be the first merger to go? What new dynamics will form? Who do you guys think will win? Let me know!
