Notes: chapter title from "come back... be here" by taylor swift.

DISCLAIMER: as usual, { I own nothing }, & any dialogue in italics comes directly from the show and is credited to the writers. :-)


eight / this is when the feeling sinks in

… … …

He's decided, over the last few hours, that Willow is a superhero.

His goal for the day was to provide his girl with all the ingredients for a relaxing Spring Break - a clean apartment, a happy baby, a relaxing bath, and a glass of wine. After his early morning shift at work, he swung by Lulu's to pick up Jaxon and bring him back to Willow's place, so he could start his preparations. Unfortunately, entertaining a very curious, very mobile nine-month-old and checking items off his to-do list at the same time turns out to be a tall order. He was almost grateful when she texted to say she was stuck at school, because he needed the extra time to finish cleaning and complete his preparations. And all the while, he wonders how the hell she handles all of this on her own. Like, ever. The only logical answer is that she's an actual superhero.

As such, he's determined to give her an opportunity to relax this weekend. She's been looking forward to Spring Break for months, and he wants to start it off on the best note possible for her. And okay, maybe it's a little bit selfish, too. He's been working so much overtime lately that he has the next four days off of work, and he wants to spend as much time as possible with her and with Jaxon. He figures the more he gets done for her now, the more time they'll be able to spend together, relaxing, without the stress of their other responsibilities.

He's just finishing up the dishes from lunch and is about ready to pour the wine when the front door bursts open and makes him reach reflexively for his belt where his gun would be, if he were on duty. He relaxes when he sees that it's Willow, but only for a split second, because something is very obviously wrong.

"Jaxon," she breathes, picking him up off the living room floor and holding him tightly to her.

He crosses into the living room and the first thing he notices is that she's shaking. Her eyes are wet, her cheeks stained with tear tracks, and her body is vibrating with tension. "Willow, you're shaking." He pulls her close to him. "What the hell happened?"

"Shiloh happened," says Lulu. He was so focused on Willow that he didn't even notice her, nor Charlotte, following behind. She closes the door behind them and deadbolts the door. "He's here, in Port Charles, and he cornered Willow at school this afternoon."

His blood runs cold. "What?" He takes her by the shoulders, his eyes wide. "What did he do?"

She lets out a sob, shaking her head, and Chase pulls her into his arms. Jaxon begins to whimper, and Chase runs his hand down the little boy's back comfortingly. "Lulu," he says quietly.

"She didn't tell me much," Lulu sighs. "But he knows where she is. He knows where she works, what her new name is. She's panicking that he's going to find Jaxon next."

Chase closes his eyes. This is what he was afraid of. And now, he feels like the worst person in the world, because he should have told her. He should have warned her that Shiloh was in town, so she wouldn't have been completely blindsided by his arrival. But then, he knew this would be her reaction: she's going into panic mode, and she's going to try to run. He can feel it in the way her entire body is tensed like a rubber band, ready to snap.

He takes a deep breath, moving away from her ever so slightly. He meets Charlotte's eyes across the room, who looks sad and confused and even a little bit frightened. He smiles reassuringly. "Charlotte," he calls gently, "will you take Jaxon into his room and play with him for a little bit?"

"No," Willow cries, almost hysterically. She crushes Jaxon closer to her, and the little boy whimpers again. "I need to hold him. I need…"

"Willow," Chase says softly, and she finally meets his eyes. His heart absolutely breaks in his chest, because she looks so overwhelmed, so frightened, so frantic that he doesn't know if anything he says or does will make it better. But he knows where they need to start. "We need to talk about this, and you need to take a moment to calm down. You're scaring him."

She pulls Jaxon away from her chest and studies his face. She sighs, kisses his forehead, and he watches helplessly as a tear runs down her own cheek. She reluctantly allows Chase to pull him from her arms, and he hands Jaxon off to Charlotte, who makes a silly face at him and happily takes him into the next room. She perceptively shuts the door behind her.

Willow promptly collapses onto the sofa, buries her head in her hands, and Chase follows. "Okay." He pulls her into his arms again, and Lulu takes a seat in the chair across from them. "First things first." He cups her cheeks in his hands, searching her eyes. "Did he hurt you?"

She shakes her head, sniffling, wiping the tears from her face. "No," she whispers.

"Maybe not physically," Lulu interjects, narrowing her eyes at her friend. "But he very clearly knows how to use his words to hit her where it hurts."

Willow sighs, looking up at Chase. He brushes her hair away from her face, tucks it behind her ear, so he can see her face clearly. "He didn't even really say anything, honestly," she clarifies. "He mostly just patronized me, tried to tell me I needed to come back to DOD. It wasn't anything he said or did that freaked me out," she admits. "It's the fact that he's here. He's been here since December. How did we not know?"

Chase swallows, meeting her eyes apologetically. "Michael told me the other day that Kristina is involved with DOD," he admits. "That's why he came over, to ask me to look into Shiloh, see if there was anything I could do. I was going to tell you," he insists. "But I figured there was no way he would figure you out anytime soon. I didn't want you to panic."

She rolls her eyes. "Well, a lot of good that did," she snaps. "How could you not tell me he was in town? I could have been halfway across the country by now."

He closes his eyes. He knew it. This is what he was afraid of, what he's been dreading for the last two days. "Willow," he says carefully. "I know you feel like the best way to protect Jaxon is to run. I get it. But you're safe here. I know that doesn't feel true anymore, but it is, Willow. You have a whole army of people behind you who will make sure Shiloh never gets anywhere near your son."

"You can't guarantee that," she says, quietly, sadly. She picks at her cuticles, avoiding his gaze. "And I won't subject all of you to Shiloh's constant manipulation. The only way to keep Jaxon safe and protect all of you from him is to leave."

"Where would you even go?" he wonders, struggling to keep his frustration in check. "How long are you going to run, Willow?"

"The rest of my life, if I have to," she snaps.

"And what kind of life is that for Jaxon?" he asks seriously. "What, every time you see a shadow, you're going to completely uproot his life? This is your home, Willow. This is Jaxon's home. You can't let Shiloh take that away from you, and you have plenty of people around you who won't let it happen."

"it's only a matter of time before Shiloh finds out about him," Willow insists. Her tone is hollow, resigned, and he hates it. She's already given up before the fight's even begun. "And as soon as he does, he'll apply for custody, and he'll get it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he set me up to be deemed unfit, so he could have full custody and cut me out of the picture completely." She meets Chase's eyes, then, and it's like she's completely detached herself from all emotion, like she's not even really looking at him, but through him. "I cannot lose my son to Shiloh."

"You won't," Chase insists. He's been trying to keep it together, trying to be strong for her, but he's quickly losing his composure. "Please, Willow, don't do this. Stay. Let us help you. We can come up with a way to bring Shiloh down before he ever even gets close to Jaxon."

"You don't know Shiloh." She laughs humorlessly. "Even if he has broken the law, he always has someone ready to take the blame. He has his DOD followers so brainwashed that they'll do anything to keep Shiloh in power, believing it's for the good of the organization, for the good of others. There's no way to pin him down, Chase. He always wins. Always."

"I don't believe that," he says firmly. "He may have gotten away until now, but he's never had to deal with me. I won't let him get away this time." He forces her to meet his eyes and takes both of her hands firmly in his. "I promise you that I will protect you. Both of you. I will do whatever I have to do, use the full extent of the law to keep him as far away from you as possible."

She squeezes his hands, forces a sad smile. "You have no idea how much I appreciate that you want to take care of us," she says tearfully. "But there's nothing you can do, Chase. There's no way to avoid this."

Lulu finally interjects. "At the very least, Willow, we need to tell Kristina the truth," she insists. "If Shiloh is so bad that you feel like you need to run, then we need to get Kristina away from him. Now. You need to tell her your story."

Chase squeezes her hands. "Listen to me. If we can turn Kristina, if we can bring in other people Shiloh has victimized, we can combine your testimonies to take him down," he insists. "I don't care if you believe he raped you or not. You were drugged, and you were unable to consent. And on top of that, you were coerced into believing it was what you wanted anyway." He ticks them off on his fingers. "That's three felonies, right there. We can do this, Willow. We can take Shiloh down for good."

"I just…" She moves away from him, her eyes welling with tears again. "I just need some time, okay? Just give me some time."

She heads straight for her bedroom and shuts the door, and he sighs. He wants nothing more than to chase after her, to convince her that she needs to stay. But he knows that emotions are high, and her head is spinning, and she needs time to process. She needs to come to the decision on her own, and he needs to give her the space to do it.

"This is exactly what I was afraid of," he tells Lulu.

Lulu nods, sighs. "She was talking about leaving before we even left the school," she reveals. "She doesn't know any other way to cope, Chase. She doesn't want to rely on anyone else, because she's never been able to before."

"I get all that," he says. "We've been through all that before. But this guy… if Willow runs, if she doesn't fight him, he's just going to keep doing the same thing to other women. Kristina could be next. People like Shiloh thrive on intimidating others into doing exactly what they want. He may not have said anything in particular, but he got exactly what he wanted when he came to see Willow today. He scared her to the point where she'll run, and she won't tell anyone what he did to her, and he'll get to keep doing what he does."

"You're telling this to the wrong person," Lulu says, smiling sadly. "I know all of this, and logically, I think Willow does, too. But she's thinking of Jaxon."

"So am I," Chase insists. "Because if she runs, Jaxon will never be safe. No matter how hard she tries, she'll never be able to outrun the shadows, and Jaxon will suffer because of it. He needs a stable home, with people who love him and will protect him, no matter what."

"People like you," Lulu says softly.

"And you," Chase agrees. "And Michael, and Elizabeth, and Finn, and Charlotte and Rocco. And think of all the resources we have with all of those people in our corner, by extension." He runs his hands through his hair, scrubs at his eyes tiredly. "We have to convince her to stay, Lulu," he says desperately, emotion rising in his throat. "I can't lose her. I can't lose either of them. Not like this."

Lulu moves to sit next to him and pulls him into a hug. "I know, honey." She runs her hand down his back soothingly. "I know."

… … …

She feels like she's living in a daze. It's like an out of body experience; like she's watching her own life play out before her, but it's happening to someone else. She honestly can't believe that everything she's feared for the last year and a half is actually coming to light.

It's like a bad dream that she desperately needs to wake up from.

She stands in the shower and lets the tears flow freely. She sobs out loud, hoping the rushing water will drown out her cries, and releases every ounce of emotion she's kept inside for the last two years. She's never really let herself feel it all: the anger and shame of what Shiloh did to her, the gripping fear and anxiety of leaving her old life behind, the uncertainty and instability of running from her past. She's been so focused on the next step, always looking ahead, that she never truly allowed herself to look back and process it all.

When her fingers are pruned and the water runs cold, she pulls on her pajamas and buries herself under the covers. She's not sure how long she lays in bed, staring out her window, as tears continue to stream down her face. There's too much to think about here, too much to process for her to even begin to make sense of it all. Shiloh's here, in Port Charles. He knows her name, he knows where she works, and he's been lurking in the shadows for more than half the time she's lived here. She has to believe that it's only a matter of time before he finds out about Jaxon, before he uses his wide network of resources to take him away from her. She doesn't see any alternative but to run.

Maybe that's why the tears won't stop; because she's already mourning the life she'll have to leave behind. She had just begun to believe that she and Jaxon could have a future here. She'd allowed herself to become attached to people. She fell in love. And while she's sure that their lives would go on without her, that they would eventually move on, she's not sure she ever will.

And then, once the tears dry up and the panic subsides, the anger sets in.

She thinks of everything she's given up because of Shiloh. She was right to leave DOD, and she doesn't regret it for a second. But she had to give up any sense of safety and stability to do so. She gave her up identity and had to create an entirely new life for herself. And Chase is right; if she continues to run, she'll never be able to find any semblance of home. Not like she has here.

And try as she might to convince herself otherwise, Port Charles is home.

If she leaves now, if she takes Jaxon and runs, she has no idea where she would go. Further away than a few towns over, that's for sure. Tennessee? Florida? Montana? California? Where could she ever go that would be far enough away to keep the shadows at bay? She'd have to change her name, and probably Jaxon's name, too. She'd never trust herself enough to get close to anyone again, and she would never trust anyone around her son.

What kind of life would that be? Not just for her, but for Jaxon? Could she really be okay with raising her son that way?

No. No, she couldn't.

She decides to let anger, not fear, control her decision making for once. She decides that if Shiloh wants a fight, he's going to get a fight, and she won't go down easy. She'll do whatever she has to do to keep her son safe from him, but taking him away from people who love him is not the answer. Not when those people are so obviously willing to do whatever it takes to help her keep him safe. She wants her son to see her example and know that fear doesn't have to control him.

Shiloh doesn't get to have the power over her. Not now, not ever.

She emerges from her bedroom hours later. The living room is dark, lit only by a single lamp and the light from the television. Jaxon is asleep on the sofa, his little face so quiet and peaceful, and Chase is sitting next to him, staring unseeingly at the television. He looks exhausted and anxious and sad, and he almost doesn't see her as she approaches. When he looks up at her, when their eyes meet, she allows herself to smile, just a little bit. His entire body sags in relief, and he stands pulling her firmly into his arms. He hugs her tighter than he ever has, and she holds on just as tightly.

They sit down together on the sofa, and Willow runs her hand over Jaxon's back. She feels a rush of love for her little boy, and a fierce urge to keep him safe. To surround him with a barricade of love and protection and allow him to finally have a home. She turns back to Chase, leans her head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arm tightly around her, pulls her legs into his lap. "How are you feeling?" he asks, cautiously, hesitantly.

She inhales deeply, and for the first time in hours, she feels like she can breathe. She nods. "I want to stay," she says firmly. "I won't let Shiloh have the power. Not this time. I want to fight."

Chase studies her face, the corner of his lips quirked up into a hopeful, relieved grin. "You won't be alone," he assures her, resting his forehead against hers. "I promise."

And as he kisses her, she decides she's not giving this up, ever. Not for anything or anyone, especially not Shiloh.

Game on, bastard.

… … …

As it turns out, taking back control of her own life is easier said than done.

In the days that follow, she's terrified to leave her apartment. She essentially refuses, fearful that she'll run into Shiloh again, which is a direct contrast to her firm insistence that she won't let him control her life anymore. But honestly, he's going to pick his battles, because she's still here, and that's more than he thought he might get.

So he does his best to help her relax. He does her grocery shopping for her, cooks her meals, entertains Jaxon, finds mindless television for them to watch. They lay around on the sofa, take naps when Jaxon does, play board games. And by Monday afternoon, he feels like he's done a pretty great job of keeping her distracted. But Tuesday is his last day off before he goes back to work, and as much as he understands her trepidation, he refuses to let her waste away the rest of her Spring Break hiding away in her apartment.

"Where do we even start?" Willow asks, pushing Jaxon's stroller - which he never made it into, since he refused to leave Chase's arms once he made it out of his car seat - through the gates of the Port Charles Zoo.

Chase shrugs, chuckling. "I've never been here before either, remember?" He falls back to walk beside her, bumping his hip against hers teasingly. "Let's just wing it. Jax won't know the difference."

She smiles, and it's still a little bit forced, but at least she's making an effort. It was easier than he thought it might be, getting her out of the house, and while he knows she was nervous to begin with, she relaxes more and more by the minute. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, presses his lips to her temple. She's here, and she's fighting, and that's what matters right now.

She takes a deep breath, smiles at her son. "What does a monkey say, Jax?"

Jaxon does his best imitation of a monkey as they approach the monkey exhibit, and the sound of Willow's laugh makes his heart stutter in his chest. "Look, bud!" He points toward two monkeys sharing a banana across the exhibit, and he watches as Jaxon's little face lights up, and he leans toward the fence, trying to get a better look.

He takes in every moment of their afternoon together, just the three of them. He etches Jaxon's smiles and giggles into his memory, and he savors every eye roll or indignant jaw drop he gets from Willow when he teases her. Because he could have missed this. She had one foot out the door, and he was this close to never having either of them in his life again. And yet, here they are. And he decides that he's not going to take a single moment of it for granted.

"Thank you," she says later, as Jaxon naps in his stroller and they share a milkshake from a concession stand. Cookies 'n' cream, of course. She absently reaches up, uses her thumb to swipe a drop of ice cream from the corner of his mouth, and he catches her hand in his, threads their fingers together. "Thank you for forcing me to do this today. It was…" She lets out a long breath, looks up to meet his eyes. "It was exactly what I needed."

Chase nods. He kisses the back of her hand. "Listen," he begins. "I know no matter how hard I try, I can't understand what you're feeling, because I haven't been through what you have. But when the fear starts to take over, or when the panic sets in… just promise me you won't shut me out, okay?"

She nods. "I promise that I'll do my best," she agrees. "I'm going to try not to get stuck in my own head. I made the decision to stay, and to fight, and I don't want to spend my time hiding or being afraid. I want to enjoy my life with you." She pulls her hand from his, snakes her arms around his neck to pull him closer. "You've been so incredible through all of this. You've been… my rock. But I know it can't be easy for you, either."

He shakes his head. "It's not important."

"It is important," she insists, holding his gaze. "It's important to me. The last thing I want is for you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for the sake of mine. I don't expect you to fix things for me, Chase. When I said I want to fight, I didn't mean that I want to stand behind you while you do it for me. So don't feel like you need to be the one to protect me, or to save the day. We're in this together, for as long as you want to be. Okay?"

He's not sure he likes the way that last part sounded - like she's trying to give him an out, or something - but he'll let it slide, for now. The rest of it, he can get on board with. "Yes, ma'am," he grins.

"And I don't want you to call me every hour while you're at work tomorrow," she adds, narrowing her eyes at him teasingly. "Jaxon and I will be fine on our own, I promise."

He rolls his eyes. "You can tell me not to worry all you want, but I'm still going to do it," he insists. "I can't turn it off. You mean too much to me. There's no going back now."

There's butterflies in his stomach as he says it, and he momentarily fears that he's said too much. But the little smile that she gives him, the way she kisses him slowly, sweetly, says that even if she's not quite where he is yet, she's getting there. And that's all he could ever ask for.

… … …

Her first day back to work after Spring Break is tough. It's harder than she thought it would be, walking back into the classroom when the last thing she remembers is her showdown with Shiloh. She finds herself looking over her shoulder, checking around corners, clutching her phone in her hand just in case he blindsides her again. But Chase is there, and he keeps her company until her students arrive and she's not alone. And with every passing day, she adjusts to her new normal: living her life with sharper awareness, but not fear.

It's easy, anyway, to be distracted from her current situation with the drama that seems to constantly follow her at work. She honestly never anticipated that her greatest challenge being a teacher wouldn't involve her students, but their parents. She finds that parents are less accepting of her disciplining their children, even when it's warranted and necessary. If she had a dollar for every time she had a parent tell her she's not being fair to their child, or worse, that she's targeting their child, she'd probably be able to quit her job.

But what she also didn't expect is the lack of support from her administration. It seems that when parents don't get the response they want from her, they go straight to the top. And rather than stand behind her as a teacher, Principal Schultz continues to bow to parents' requests. She constantly feels like she's walking a tightrope between what she knows is right, what she feels like she's called to do, and what's going to allow her to keep her job.

"I'm sure you know why I've called this meeting this afternoon, Willow," Principal Schultz says as she takes a seat across from his desk.

"I have an idea," she responds. "What I don't understand is why this issue keeps coming up."

Principal Schultz sighs, and she feels like a child being scolded. "Miss Tait, I'm sure that you feel that you're doing what you need to do for your classroom."

"Yes," Willow agrees. "That's exactly how I feel. I would appreciate your support in that endeavor."

"Yes, well." Schultz clears his throat. "Unfortunately, what you feel you need to do for your classroom is not necessarily in the best interest of each student, nor is it in the best interest of this school."

She just blinks at him for a second, because she's not sure that even makes sense. Frankly, she's a little bit insulted that he seems to think she doesn't care about each individual student or have their best interests at heart. If she didn't care about the students, why would she have gone into teaching?

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying," she admits.

"Miss Tait," Schultz begins, folding his hands neatly, resting his elbows on his desk. "As I know you're aware, several of the parents in your classroom believe that their children are being treated unfairly, even targeted by you. These parents, I might remind you, are donors to this school, and their donations are pivotal to our ability to provide a quality education for our students."

"So what you're saying," she begins, attempting to control her temper, "is that I should go against my better judgment and allow certain students to be treated differently, simply because their parents give money to the school?"

"What I'm saying, Miss Tait, is that I would be more careful about how you discipline your students," Schultz replies firmly. "Re-evaluate your own biases and be sure that you are not repeatedly targeting the same students."

"With all due respect, Principal Schultz, if I am continuously having to discipline the same students, it's because they continue to misbehave in my classroom, not because I have some sort of vendetta against them."

"Nevertheless." Schultz begins to organize papers on his desk. "I hope you will take some time to think over our conversation, Miss Tait, and I sincerely hope we don't have to repeat it at a later date. Have a wonderful day."

It's not hard to tell that she's been dismissed, and she clenches her fists as she makes her way back to her classroom, narrowly resisting the urge to scream. If she's not allowed to discipline her students to keep order to her classroom, how is she supposed to function in a position of authority? She doesn't see a way to adjust her methods without also punishing the students who don't deserve it, and that doesn't feel right.

She loves her job. She loves her students. But at this point, she's beginning to question if PC Elementary is the right place for her. She won't change her mind, and those specific problem students clearly won't change their behavior. Something's gotta give, and she has a gut feeling that it's going to be her job.

… … …

Despite Willow's insistence that she wants to fight, that she won't let Shiloh intimidate her, she's also not keen on him cornering her alone. He doesn't blame her one bit, and as much as he's trying to help her assert her independence, he wants her to feel safe, and he doesn't want Shiloh anywhere near her.

So this is their new normal. Chase drops her off at work in the morning, stays in her classroom until the first bell rings, and then comes back in the afternoon to pick her up as soon as her students are gone. She's never, ever completely alone in her classroom. It's a short-term fix, and it won't always work, he knows, but it makes him feel a whole lot better, and he knows it's a relief for her, too.

She's in a different mindset since Spring Break, he can tell. She's more logical, more calculated, more clear-headed. She's determined to find a way to use Shiloh's own bravado against him, to find a way to keep him away from Jaxon for good. And the week off from work certainly didn't hurt. They were able to relax, to talk some things through, to refocus their attention on what matters. Even this week, since going back to work, she's been in a good mood every day when he's picked her up from work.

Not today, though. She's not facing him when he enters the classroom, but he can tell it's been a rough one by the set of her shoulders. He knocks on the door so he doesn't startle her, and she turns to face him, forces a smile. "Hey," she greets.

"Hey, you." He crosses the room to where she stands by the chalkboard, leans in to kiss her. "Everything okay?"

She exhales. "Not really," she admits.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," she repeats, laughing humorlessly. "But I feel like I should, since I almost got fired today."

"You what?" Chase asks in disbelief. "What happened?"

"Just… entitled parents feeling like their entitled children should be given special treatment." Willow rolls her eyes. She leans back against her desk, crosses one ankle over the other, and Chase leans against the chalkboard across from her. "I have a couple of problem kids who repeatedly require discipline, and their parents don't seem to understand why. They continue to cause the same problems, and so they continue to be punished in the classroom. They know the rules; all they have to do is follow them."

"Sounds reasonable," Chase agrees. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that apparently, these parents are big-time donors to the school," Willow sighs. "I was basically told that if I don't make more of an effort to accommodate their requests, I won't be returning next year."

"That's bullshit," Chase scoffs.

Willow shrugs. "I agree, but clearly Principal Schultz is not messing around. I have to be on my best behavior for the rest of the year if I want to keep my job." She sighs. "Which will be hard to do, since I apparently don't have any clue what the right decisions are here."

Chase pulls her close, leans in to kiss her. "I have faith in you," he assures her. She drapes her arms over his shoulders, links her fingers together behind his head. "You'll make the right decisions, and you'll be fair and professional, like you always are. The important thing is to make sure that you can leave here every day with your head held high, knowing you did the best you could."

Willow smiles, opens her mouth to respond. She doesn't get the chance.

"That's very profound advice, Detective Chase. I may have to use that in some of my teachings."

Shiloh.

Willow closes her eyes, and Chase feels her body tense with nerves. He steps in front of her desk and resists the urge to reach for the gun in his holster, reminding himself that technically, Shiloh hasn't done anything wrong. At least not yet.

"I would strongly advise that you vacate the premises, Shiloh." Chase sets his shoulders, his posture rigid. Willow settles her hand on his back in a show of solidarity. "I believe Miss Tait has asked you repeatedly to leave her alone."

"I detect a lot of latent anger and hostility in your tone, Detective," Shiloh says calmly. He pushes his hands into his pockets casually, wanders further into the room. "I could help you explore that, find ways to overcome it, if you'd like."

Chase narrows his eyes. "What I'd like is for you to leave."

Shiloh shakes his head, feigning disappointment. "Well, I came to see Miss Miller, so I'm not sure it really matters what you want from me."

"Miss Tait doesn't want to see you, either," Willow interjects firmly. "And if you don't want to leave on your own, I'm sure Detective Chase would happily escort you off the premises."

"You know, Kali -"

"Willow."

"I wish you could see what I see when I look at you," Shiloh says, shaking his head. "I wish you would come by the Dawn of Day house sometime soon. Let us help you find your way back."

"Go to hell," Willow snaps, and Chase can't help but smirk. He loves this side of her, angry and badass.

"I can understand you leaving the rest of the members. I know you never made a lot of friends in DOD," he continues, unaffected. "But me? Kali… I really thought we had something special."

Willow makes a move, then, and as much as he wants to let her wail on him, he would also have to arrest her for assault. So he puts out a hand to stop her, grabs her wrist, runs his thumb over the back of her hand to calm her. "I'm not going to ask you again, Shiloh," he insists.

Shiloh holds his hands up in surrender, backs himself toward the door. "Shame we can't talk this out like adults, Kali." He smirks. "That's okay. I have other ways to resolve conflicts, though you might not like them."

"That sounds like a threat," Chase growls.

"No threats," Shiloh says innocently, raising his hands in surrender. "Just stating facts."

Shiloh finally moves out of the room, and Chase follows, stands at the doorway until he's rounded the corner down the hallway. Then he exhales and moves back to Willow, taking her hands in his. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it just…" She groans in frustration. "It just drives me insane that he can go anywhere he wants and say anything he likes and no one can do something about it!" She runs her hands through her hair angrily.

"He'll slip up eventually," Chase reminds her. "He's on my radar now. He can't stay out of trouble for too much longer, trust me. I have a sneaking suspicion he'll dig his own grave before we have to do anything to nudge him that way."

"I wish I had the same confidence that you do," Willow sighs.

He cups her cheeks in his hands, kisses her soundly. "We're on the right side of this," he says confidently, resting his forehead against hers as her hands come up to grip his wrists. "You and me, and everyone else who's on our side. The good guys are going to win this one, okay?"

She exhales, nods, leans in to kiss him again. "Alright, Detective," she sighs, gathering her bag from behind her desk and reaching for his hand. "Take me home to my boy, would you?"

He kisses the back of her hand. "My pleasure, Miss Tait."

… … …

She's been thinking a lot recently, for some reason, about all the reasons why she loves being with Chase. She's never been one of those girls who needs a guy around to be happy, but she'll admit that he's a big part of why she's so content with her life in Port Charles. And one of the things that she loves most about Chase is that no matter how stressed out or anxious or panicked she becomes, he can always, always find a way to turn her day around and make her smile.

Take tonight, for example. After a week full of drama at work and worrying about Shiloh's next move, he planned the most wonderful Friday night outing for them. After her favorite meal and a glass of wine at the Floating Rib, he took her to the new Port Charles roller skating rink, where he made a complete fool of himself just to make her laugh. He bought her an ice cream cone - cookies 'n' cream, of course - and they talked and kissed and just enjoyed the warmer spring weather. He's always thinking of ways to take her mind off things, to remind her there's still so many reasons to be happy in her life. She forgets about them sometimes, but he always, always helps her remember.

She wonders, now, as she lounges on his sofa with a glass of wine, if she comes even close to providing the same kind of support for him. She hasn't had as many opportunities, since he seems to handle everything that comes their way with such calm confidence. She feels like the majority of their relationship has been just a series of Chase smoothing over Willow's periodic bouts of panic. Starting with their first date, right here in this apartment. She can't help but giggle to herself, remembering the way she chewed him up and spit him out.

"Oh, God, you're thinking of me skating again, aren't you?" Chase smirks as he replenishes her glass. He takes his seat beside her and places the open bottle on the coffee table, sipping his own glass.

"No," she laughs. "And you're not nearly as bad as you think, by the way."

"Yeah, but you're better."

"I mean, duh." She giggles, picturing him sprawled out on the concrete, pouting as he holds his hand up for assistance. "No, I was thinking about our first date." She pulls her legs up underneath her. "And how I freaked out on you and called this apartment your 'lair'."

She feels her cheeks heat in residual embarrassment as his eyes sparkle in recognition. "I'd almost forgotten about that," he chuckles, turning his body to face her a little more, resting his arm on the back of the couch.

"Like… why did you continue to pursue me?"

She's joking. Mostly.

He shrugs, a sweet little smile on his lips. "I liked you."

The butterflies erupt in her stomach. "Even though I was crazy?" She quirks her brow with a smirk.

He shrugs again. "You were right," he reminds her. "It was presumptuous of me to have you over that night."

She shakes her head at herself. "All you wanted to do was make me dinner." Knowing him now, and even remembering how that night eventually played out, she's still a little embarrassed at the way she overreacted. It wasn't unwarranted, considering her past experiences, but Chase is not Shiloh, and she's so thankful that she let go of her fear and held onto Chase.

"Yeah, but you didn't know that," he reasons, echoing her thoughts. "I should have told you what I had planned and let you decide if you were comfortable with it."

"Honestly," she sighs, "no one had more walls up than I did." She looks away from him, trying to formulate the words to get her point across. "I didn't think that I could ever trust a guy again. Romantically, at least. Not after what happened with Shiloh." She smiles. "But little by little, I began trusting you."

"Because I wore you down," he jokes, smiling sheepishly.

"No," she smiles. "Because you were… patient. And persistent, and consistent, and open, and just… all-around wonderful."

He chuckles, his cheeks going pink. "I sound pretty awesome," he jokes.

"You are," she laughs, almost spitting out her wine in the process. "Case in point: no one makes me laugh like you do. I had no choice but to want to be around you."

He hums, biting his bottom lip. He swallows thickly. "Okay, serious question." He shifts his body to face her completely.

"Okay." She tries to hide her smile, to school her expression into neutrality, but she knows she doesn't succeed.

"Do you still consider this place my lair?"

He's trying to pass it off as a joke, but by this point, she knows him better than that. She's struck, for some reason, in this moment, by just how much she feels for him. How safe she feels with him, how much she loves spending time with him. How she can't imagine going a day without hearing his voice, without the sweet little kisses he leaves on her forehead, without the perfect way their hands fit together. She's not sure how he's gotten so far under her skin, but here, in this moment, she knows without a doubt that she wouldn't have it any other way.

It doesn't take her very long to formulate her response. "I think of it as… the place where you are, the place where I feel happy, and where I feel safe, because… I'm with you."

He leans in to kiss her, and she feels the butterflies flutter in her stomach like they have all evening. She runs her fingers through the hair at the back of his head, holding him close to her. His fingers dig into her hip, and she feels her breath catch in her throat as his hand comes to rest at the side of her neck.

She's thought about taking the next step with him, obviously, and they've had several conversations about it. He's never once pressured her, or questioned her, and anytime things have gotten heated between them, he's always been careful to make sure she's comfortable. And while she's so grateful that he's been so understanding, so attentive and caring, she's honestly sick of playing it safe. She's falling in love with him - honestly, she might already be there - and she trusts him more than she ever thought would be possible again. She wants this. She wants to be as close to him as possible, in every possible way.

She's not sure how long they're completely lost in each other before he speaks.

"When do you need to go pick up Jaxon?" he murmurs between kisses, his voice thick and gravelly.

"I don't," she breathes out, pulling him closer to her.

He sits back a little bit, and she whines at the loss of contact, presses her forehead to his to keep him close. "What do you mean?" he asks, trying to catch his breath.

"Lulu's keeping him for the night." She smiles coyly.

His breath catches, and he closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they're shining with sincerity. "God, Willow, I want you," he breathes out. "Like I really, really want you." He swallows, searchers her eyes. "But only if you want me."

"Yes," she says quickly, without hesitation.

He takes a deep breath, digs his fingers into her bare skin at her hip, where her top has ridden up. She shivers. "Are you sure?"

"Chase." She tilts her head, smiles. "You are the most caring and patient man I've ever met. I trust you in ways I never thought I could." She presses her forehead to his, closes her eyes. "I'm falling in love with you." She kisses him again, whispers against his lips. "I'm sure."

She'd wondered, many times, what it would be like to be with him. She'd gone through plenty of scenarios in her head, and she was always surprised by how, despite her lack of experience, her imagination could run completely wild. But the real thing is so beautiful, so incredible that it nearly brings tears to her eyes. He undresses her slowly, whispers perfect words against her skin. He holds her so delicately, and yet so surely, like he never wants to let her go. It's even better than her wildest dreams. And as he holds her close afterward, draws circles on her bare hip with his fingertip, she knows that this is how it should feel. This is the way it's supposed to be.

"I had no idea that it could feel like this," she tells him, as they lay entangled.

I'm in love with you, is what she really wants to say.

… … …

He wakes up with Willow sleeping soundly in his arms, and he all but pinches himself to make sure it's not a dream.

He doesn't know if he's ever felt so connected to another person in his life. He already knew there was something special between them, but last night… he's convinced that they're perfectly matched for one another in every possible way. He's in awe of her; the way she trusted him so fully, opened herself up to him completely, despite her traumatic past experiences. She's the most incredible woman he's ever known.

And he's in love with her.

He's not sure when it happened, honestly. He's been falling for a while, he knows that much. But somewhere along the way, something shifted and clicked into place, and now he can't imagine his life without her in it. Her and Jaxon, the three of them together… that's his future. Maybe he didn't want to admit it before, didn't want to get too attached in case she picked up and ran again, but now… now, there's no going back. He's in this for the long haul.

She's facing away from him, her arms folded underneath his pillow as she lays on her stomach, but he can tell when she wakes up by the way her breathing changes. He presses gentle kisses across her shoulder blades, runs his fingertip from her shoulder down her spine until her Dawn of Day tattoo catches his eye. He runs his fingers over it, furrows his brow in disgust. He wishes he could ignore it, but the thought of that bastard with his hands on her… it makes his skin crawl.

"It doesn't bother me anymore," she says quietly.

"It bothers me," he counters, running his thumb over the mark on her hip. She's a stronger person than he is, to be able to move past something like this - a permanent reminder of her past trauma. "It's like he branded you."

"He did," she agrees, pushing up onto her elbows and turning to face him. He forces his eyes away from the mark on her back and meets her eyes instead, skimming his hand up her back to rest on her cheek. He pushes her hair away from her face, his gaze fixed on her beautiful green eyes. "But now, it's just a tattoo. I'm free."

He can't think of anything else to say, so kisses her, pulls her closer, slips his hand behind her neck to hold her with him. She's beautiful like this, with messy hair, creases on her face from the pillow, her makeup from last night smudged under her eyes. "How did you sleep?" he murmurs, running his thumb over her cheek.

She hums. "Better than I have in weeks," she admits. She bites her lip with a coy smile. "If your goal was to distract me from the mess that is my life, you certainly succeeded."

He chuckles. "I think my plan worked even better than I intended," he teases, quirking his brow with a smirk.

She shoves at his chest, and her jaw drops playfully as he laughs. "Jerk." She narrows her eyes, attempting to scowl, but she can't hide the smile, and she's so damn cute that his heart constricts in his chest.

"You don't mean that." He lays back against the pillows, hooks his arm around her neck to pull her against his chest.

She leans up to kiss him." No, I suppose not," she murmurs. She sighs happily, her face buried in his neck, and his lips fall to her forehead. "So, what's your master plan for this morning, then?"

"No plan," he says with a smirk. "If you'll remember, I didn't have anything past the wine planned last night, so…"

"Okay, I get it," she groans, her cheeks warming adorably as he chuckles. "I seduced you. What do you want me to do, apologize?"

"Never," he growls, kissing her firmly, rolling her underneath him. "And as for the plan today," he murmurs, planting kisses all over her skin, relishing the way her breathing quickens, "I would strongly suggest that we don't get out of bed for at least another hour."

She sighs in delight, her fingers squeezing the back of his neck in agreement. "If you insist," she breathes out as his lips find hers, and the world fades away around them.

Yeah, he thinks, he could get used to mornings like this with her. It's nice, being playful and carefree and not worrying about whatever the outside world has in store for them. He wants to keep her in this perfect little bubble for as long as possible, before they go back to face the music of reality.

… … …

If there's one thing she's learned about Harrison Chase in the short time she's known him, it's that he always, without fail, keeps his promises.

As the water runs over her body in his shower, over an hour later, she can feel every reminder of how he did just that.

She hasn't felt the way she feels now… well, maybe ever. She's almost giddy, remembering their night together, relishing in the new level of connection she feels to him. It's a level that she never knew existed, something she never thought she'd ever feel. As usual, Chase is always finding ways to surprise her, to give her everything she never knew she wanted.

But despite how perfect everything suddenly seems, they still have some big discussions that need to be had. This relationship between them is clearly not a short-term thing, at least not in her mind. She can see him being part of her life for a very, very long time. But she needs to make sure that he's on the same page, because it's not just the two of them that she needs to think about.

She knows Jaxon loves Chase, and they've become pretty attached to one another over the course of the last few months. But Jaxon doesn't just need a friend, or someone to babysit him when she's not around. He needs a father figure. She knows that Chase loves spending time with her son, and she knows that he would do anything to protect Jaxon. What she needs to know is if all those things are because he loves Jaxon, or because he's with her. She needs to know that she and Jaxon can rely on him, not just as her boyfriend, or whatever he might end up being to her, but as a constant in both of their lives.

She would understand if he didn't want that. It would break her heart, but she would understand. And now that they've connected on this whole other level, she needs to make sure that he's ready for what this relationship needs to be, before she lets herself get hurt.

She emerges from the bathroom wearing his t-shirt and not much else, and she bites her lip at the smirk on his lips. "Hello, beautiful," he greets, pulling her by the hand so she's sitting on the bed next to where he lays - as promised, right where she left him. As soon as she meets his eyes, his smirk shifts into a frown, and he furrows his brow in concern. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she assures him, smiling weakly. "I was just… thinking."

He nods, presses his lips together. "That doesn't sound good," he comments.

"It's not bad," she hedges, and his fingers slip between hers to squeeze her hand. "I just… I know we talked a few months ago about the fact that this… relationship… it's not a casual thing for either of us." He nods, and she inhales shakily. "And as happy as I am that we've gotten closer since then, I don't think just being serious about one another is enough anymore."

He looks genuinely confused, and maybe even a little bit hurt. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"I mean…" she sighs, frustrated with herself, wishing she could articulate herself better. She doesn't want there to be any confusion about this, because it's very important. "I mean that it's not just the two of us in this relationship, Chase."

His face clears in understanding, and if she's not mistaken, his face relaxes in relief. "You mean Jaxon."

She nods. "And I know that you care about me, and you care about Jaxon as an extension of me," she says carefully. "But it feels like we're past the point where that's enough."

She scoots closer to him, holds his hand in both of hers, finds that it's difficult for her to meet his eyes. "I know that we're not at the point where we're making real commitments yet, and that's okay," she reasons. "I'm not ready for that, either. But if we're going to continue this relationship, I need to know that you don't just see Jaxon as an extension of me. I need to know that you care about him, too."

He tilts his head, furrowing his brow. "Of course I care about him, Willow."

"Yes, but… he doesn't just need a friend to play with him, Chase," she sighs. "He needs someone who's going to be there for him, who's going to help him grow and learn and be someone he can count on." He's still confused, she can tell, and she groans, buries her face in her hands. "I'm not explaining this very well at all."

"It's okay," he says gently, patiently. "Take your time."

She takes a deep breath, meets his eyes again, formulates the words in her head. "I guess what I'm trying to ask is… do you care about Jaxon because you're my boyfriend, because you know he's important to me, or…"

She looks up to find him smiling, and she loses her train of thought. He seems to understand anyway. "I love that little boy," he assures her. He leans forward, resting his free hand on her shoulder, his thumb running up the side of her neck tenderly. "And not just because he's yours. I love watching him learn and grow, and I love that he knows who I am now. I want him to know that he can count on me to be there for him, no matter what." His hand moves to her cheek and forces her gaze to meet his. "I love him, Willow, just like I love you."

Her breath catches in her throat, and she searches his eyes, wondering if (hoping) she heard him right. He loves her. Her heart feels like it's ten sizes too big, and she feels emotion rising in her throat, tries to swallow it down. "Are you sure?" she asks. "It's a big commitment, Chase, loving us."

He detangles his hand from hers, cradles her face in his hands, and his eyes bore into hers, shining with… with love. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he says sincerely.

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss, tears pricking her eyes as she wonders how the hell she got so lucky, to have this man love her like this. "I love you, too," she whispers against his lips, and he smiles into the kiss, pulling her as close to him as she can get.

Despite the firestorm that is her life right now, she's thankful for this moment, for whatever bits of happiness she can find in the midst of it all. And though there's a pit in her stomach about what's to come, knowing that Chase will be by her side, loving her, makes it all more manageable.

… … …