KING KUNTA
Genre – Erotica/Drama
Rating – M/NC-17
Main Pairing – Undecided
Warnings – Swearing, AU, Gender-bending, FemDom, Male Sexism, Bullying/Humiliation, BDSM, Ecchi, Violence, Possible OOCness
Apparently there has been some confusion concerning the title of this fic. This is not a reference to a song or a character. 'Kunta' is an Old Nordic word derived from the Germanic word kuntō which means 'cunt'. Also, I keep forgetting that Lee, Neji and TenTen are actually supposed to be older than Naruto. Oh well…
000
"Evil seed?"
"Yeah." Naruto managed through clenched teeth as she continued to massage him through his pants. "You need to suck it out."
He glanced at her mouth and felt his swollen cheeks reddening at the thought of those red lips around his cock.
"Why? I can just cut it off and it'll be removed along with your grotesque growth."
Naruto glared at her, but refrained himself from insulting her back. "Won't work. Seed is too deep."
Hidan pursed her lips in thought. Despite all her craziness and her violently curvaceous body, she was a virgin and surprisingly naïve when it came to all matters concerning sex and the male body. Why hadn't he ever thought about taking advantage of that before? Oh yeah, because of the potential castration and violent murder that would follow if it failed.
"I suppose I could remove it with my teeth afterwards. Rip it out from the roots."
"No!" Naruto panicked, "You can't!"
"Don't worry. I brushed my teeth so it won't get infected."
Naruto stared. It was almost cute how naïve she was. Almost. "If you swallow it it'll nest in your stomach and spread."
Hidan's eyes widened slightly. "How do you know this?"
Naruto desperately thought of a lie that would appease her. "Um… Jasshin came to me… in a dream and told me. It's the only way to remove my… measly masculinity entirely."
"I suppose that makes sense. I thought the other males I've purged were simply weak. I didn't realize I'd missed something."
Naruto felt a familiar shiver run through his body. The kind he only got around Hidan. Of course he wasn't the only one. She had done this before. And succeeded, from the sound of it. Why hadn't she been expelled for it yet? The death of a student was not uncommon. They were training to be warriors so it only made sense that there was danger involved. But murder was not the same as a freak sparring accident.
"J-just be gentle. The seed won't come out if you're violent. No biting!"
Hidan smirked, sending another shiver down his spine. She moved closer and, for a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him. Then he felt like a fool when he realized she was just shifting so she could undo his pants easier. He couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous and excited at once as the white nightmare kneeled down in front of him and stared at his leaking cock. He thought his face might explode with sheer embarrassment when he was reminded of the fact that they were standing in the main hall. He could even see students lying on picnic blankets outside on the grass through the window, completely unaware of what was happening right behind them. Hopefully it would stay that way or he was screwed. If he remembered correctly, shoving a dick into someone's throat constituted as rape which was not only a one-way ticket out of KENA, but also a one-way ticket into prison.
"Your tumor is drooling."
… tumor?
Naruto's reply was interrupted by a deep moan when Hidan rubbed the sensitive head as she wiped away his precum. Then she gave his shaft an experimental lick, an uncertain look on her face.
"It's… not a t-tumor." He bit out. "It's…Holy shi-"
Hidan had swallowed his cock whole without warning. It was a shame that she was a celibate. She was a natural. She seemed to know exactly what to do – bobbing her head up and down as she sucked him hard, her big purple eyes locked on his face. She stopped momentarily and gave him another one of her toothy grins that caused an explosion of tingles to erupt in his belly.
"Ah!" Naruto slapped a hand over his mouth, his legs shaking with the strain and effort it took not to thrust into Hidan's hot mouth. He glanced around to make sure no one heard him.
That reminded him. He had a plan. It involved a pen.
She was using her tongue now, rolling it over the tip before sucking it back in until her red lips were pressed against his pubes and the head of his dick hit the back of her throat. He was in heaven. It felt so good. Seriously, why had he never thought of this before? From the corner of his eyes, he saw her schoolbag laying on the ground.
Wait, he was supposed to be doing something. Something important.
Naruto's mind went completely blank when Hidan sucked harder than ever. He grabbed the back of her head, unable to take anymore. She glared up at him in warning.
"Please, don't kill me." He breathed. He felt her trying to say something around his cock and choke a little when he thrust his hips forward. He was overcome by a sense of urgency that he couldn't place. It was torture and bliss at the same time. It was nothing like when he touched himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was forgetting something, but right now it didn't matter. Not even the glint in Hidan's eyes, a warning that the lid on her more violent side was loosening, stopped him from shoving her head down. He swore he saw fireworks as he came. Brightly colored fireworks showering him with an intense satisfaction. He could vaguely hear Hidan spluttering and making gagging noises.
Fuck. He was going to die.
"You tricked me! You fucking pig! You planted your disgusting seeds in me!"
A sharp pain shot up his spine courtesy of Hidan's knee colliding with his stomach. He coughed, the wave of clouds and fulfillment vanishing when he caught the furious look on her face.
Yep, he was definitely going to die.
He locked a scream behind clenched teeth when her fist embedded itself in his already painfully swollen face. His hands flew up in an attempt to defend himself, but Hidan's body was in the way. She… hold on…
"You're wet." He mumbled incredulously.
Hidan paused, fist coming to a stop causing her boobs to jiggle. "What?"
Naruto swallowed thickly. "Y-your panties are wet. You're turned on."
Hidan blinked. Then she scowled. She grabbed a handful of his shirt and started shaking him back and forth. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you fucking useless worm! Are you insulting me?! I thought you were different from the others! I thought you wanted to be saved! You fucking dare trick me?!"
"W-wait, it means that it worked! I've been cleansed! You did it!" Naruto yelled desperately.
Hidan's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I've swallowed the fucking seeds."
"That's okay! That's fine. As long as you didn't swallow the… the growth," Naruto managed to spit it out through a locked jaw, "then you'll be alright. Your divine body or whatever will cleanse all that wickedness."
The white nightmare seemed to think it over. "You're right. The temple within my body will destroy them." She gave him a look. "You are very wise in the teachings of Jasshin."
He got a bad feeling. "Uh, yeah sure…"
"You will assist me in purging the others.'
Wait, what?
"Actually, I'm not that knowledgeable on-"
"Silence." Hidan growled.
"Okay." He whimpered.
"Now sign the roster."
Oh yeah, that's what he'd forgotten. "… really?"
"My companion in this holy quest should be properly trained since most man-creatures resist. You will need more than knowledge to purge the wicked worms." Hidan finally released him.
Naruto's hands immediately went down to shield his goods. "You're not going to castrate me?"
"I fear the knowledge you possess will disappear along with your growth. This must be one of Jasshin's tests. It's what I've been missing all those times. You need a man-creature to cleanse a man-creature." Hidan smiled and, for a second, she actually did look like a divine messenger as she held out a pencil. "Hang on to your self-disgust a little longer."
"O-okay."
Naruto didn't waste any time. He accepted the pencil and quickly scribbled down his name on the roster before the white nightmare changed her mind. He still couldn't believe what had just happened, even after Hidan left and the bell announced that lessons were started again. He had just received his first blowjob from the craziest female in Konoha who'd previously tried to cut off his dick. And it felt fantastic. Getting beat up afterwards, not so much so, but he'd somehow managed to save his skin with some quick wit and a little creativity.
A scream snapped him out of his daze. He turned left and saw the entire cafeteria staring at him in horror. Even Itachi's mouth had dropped open.
That's when he realized he had forgotten to pull his pants up.
The older Uchiha sister were the first to recover, leveling him with a death glare that would've sent a man braver than him running for his life. He turned right to flee the scene and fell flat on his face, tripping over himself.
He still hadn't pulled his pants up.
Fuck it all.
000
"You signed it? How did you manage to get passed the white nightmare?" Lee's loud voice could be heard from the kage mountain. Naruto was certain of it.
"Did she give you that bruise?" Chouji flinched as he pointed at Naruto's arm. "It wasn't there at first."
"Nah, it's from the mob led by the demon sisters that came after me after I dealt with Hidan."
"How?" Lee's eyes were full of admiration.
"I shoved my cock into her mouth." He blurted out.
Silence as the three boys stared at him. Lee's mouth was opening and closing rapidly, looking ridiculous. Chouji had been in the process of shoving a riceball into his mouth and had frozen up, also looking ridiculous. Shino… he wasn't sure. He could never tell with the guy.
"You what?!"
"Have you lost your mind?!"
"Did you have sex?"
Naruto gave Shino a weird look. "No. It was just a blowjob."
"How are you even still alive?"
"It was consensual. In a way."
"How?!"
"Lee, calm down and I'll tell you." And he told them. He left out the part where she kneed him in the gut and bruised up his face. And the part where he had been knighted Hidan's sidekick in her holy quest of purging all men.
"So that's why your pants were around your ankles." Shino said calmly.
"You are my hero, Naruto-kun! To have been touched so lewdly by such a beauty." Lee sighed dreamily.
Naruto wondered, not for the first time, why Lee didn't get beat up more than he did. The guy even weirded him sometimes.
"You look worried, Chouji." Shino pointed out.
Naruto turned to his best friend and saw that he indeed looked like something was bothering him. He sighed. "Okay, what did I do?"
"You shoved your cock into Hidan's mouth." He said simply, munching on the riceball.
"So," Naruto scrunched up his face, "you're jealous?"
"No." Chouji grumbled. "A little. But that's not what's bothering me."
Naruto laughed nervously. "What's with you guys? C'mon, I got my first blowjob. Before any of you. From Hidan. And she liked it. Her panties were soaked. Well, not soaked, but there was definitely wetness."
"Actually it is strange." Shino said.
"What? You don't believe me?" Naruto replied, getting annoyed.
Shino shook his head. "I believe you. It's just that-"
"When she finds out that you tricked her into giving you oral sex you are in serious trouble." Chouji interrupted, looking even more worried.
Naruto winced. "She won't find out."
"Hidan may be naïve but she's not stupid."
"It's fine. Stop worrying so much. Besides, now you guys can get your name on the roster since she isn't guarding the board anymore. You should all be thanking me." Naruto said, laughing nervously while his stomach plummeted. He hated his life.
"I will stand by you when the White Nightmare comes for you, Naruto-kun. Defend you from the sensual evil of the Death Omen and equally sensual violence of the Black Beast. We will face them all together! From the Desert Sand to the Yuki Onna to the Fell Moon. The Vice Doe and-"
"Hey!" Chouji protested. "Don't call her that. She's not evil. Just because she's the vice president and works for Itachi doesn't mean she's like them."
"Haku's nice enough." Naruto said, remembering when she'd helped him pick up his books after he'd fallen down the stairs. "And Shizune never complains even though I come to the infirmary almost every day."
"Ah! The Toxic Nurse!"
"Stop making up nicknames, you idiot." Naruto snapped. "I got my ass kicked by Karui for accidentally calling her the Dark Horse once."
000
Naruto spent the next morning jumping out of his skin whenever he saw something white, but even that couldn't ruin his good mood. He had managed to put his name on the roster, got patched up by Shizune-chan and he'd finished all of his homework in detention the day before. He had butterflies in his stomach as he anxiously awaited his initiation exam. He couldn't even focus during accuracy training and had almost beheaded his teacher with a chakram. Students were being pulled out of class left and right. He didn't get what was happening, but he didn't really care either. The point was that it had yet to happen to him. The suspense was killing him.
"Uzumaki Naruto?"
Naruto blinked. Then smiled. He had been going through his notes to prepare for the exam when Kakashi walked in. She talked to the combat strategy teacher before calling his name. His name. She was one of the few women he actually liked. She was awesome and cool and probably the most badass woman to ever live. Not to mention, the latex suit she wore had been present in many of his wet dreams. Only without the flak jacket and platform heels instead of combat boots, but the mask was a definite must.
"That's me!" He stumbled over his excitement to gather his things.
"Haruno Sakura?"
Naruto dropped his textbooks. But the worst part was yet to come.
"Uchiha Sasuke?"
No one spoke for a while minute. Awkwardly and with increasingly less excitement, Naruto stuffed his books into his backpack and slouched over to the Copy Ninja. He didn't dare look up when he heard the familiar clicking of heels come down the stairs only to stop in front of him.
Sasuke was shorter than him. Always had been. Especially after his growth spurt in second year. Not that it mattered. One look could make him feel like he was only a few inches tall. She was glaring at him. It wasn't the usual why-can't-you-just-die glare. It was worse. It was the same one she'd given to him the day he accidentally grabbed her tits.
"Follow me." Kakashi drawled.
Naruto kept his eyes on the Kakashi's ass as she led them through the hallways. The silence was torture. His earlier enthusiasm had all but disappeared under Sasuke's and Sakura's accusatory stares, and the pressure of not knowing what was going to happen next.
When they reached an empty locker room, Naruto gave himself a quick pep talk. He couldn't fail. Failure was not an option. He had to do this. He could do this.
"Uchiha, Haruno – take a seat." Kakashi said, pointing at two empty desks. "Uzumaki, stand in front of the board."
Naruto exhaled shakily and did as he was told.
"As you may know, boys are required to pass an initiation test before they can be accepted into a team." Kakashi continued.
He nodded stiffly, deciding that now was not the best time to complain about how no one bothered to inform him until it was almost too late.
"The test is the same for every male student. If you pass you will be become a member of this team. If not, you will be put on a waiting list and have the opportunity to try again next year."
Naruto glanced at their faces in turn, unsure of what to do. "I don't really know what-"
"Haven't you read the pamphlet?"
"I haven't gotten one."
Kakashi hummed. "Team dynamics is essential. We must be certain that you, as a male, can function normally around women."
Function normally? What the hell was that supposed to mean?
"Remove your clothes."
Naruto's jaw dropped. "But I-"
"What's the matter, Urusatonkachi." Sasuke said, folding her arms. "I thought you liked being naked in public?"
Naruto snapped his mouth shut so fast his teeth rattled. He closed his eyes and repeated his mantra. Failure was not an option. He had to do this. He could do this. Steeling himself, he began to undress. He tried to ignore the amused snorts and giggles and occasional 'ew', but each sound was a knee to the gut from Hidan. He turned around when he was down to his boxers, not wanting to see their faces as he pulled it down. He stared at his dick, blood draining from his face.
He was hard.
"Everything alright?" Kakashi said, sounding bored.
"Hurry the hell up." Sasuke added.
Why him? Why? What had he done to deserve this? Had one of his ancestors angered the gods? If so, then he sincerely apologized.
"Uzumaki."
"Yes?" He squeaked.
"Are you done?" Kakashi was getting impatient.
"Yes, but-"
"Then turn around so we can start the test."
No way in hell. "On second thought, I'm not ready yet. Give me a moment. Please."
"I'll give you a minute to prepare."
What was he going to do? The more he tried to will it to go down the more it twitched. It was begging for attention. He couldn't jerk off in a room with three women behind him, staring at his back. Could he? No, of course not. They'd notice. His future in a team was bleak enough considering he was paired with iron fist and the black beast.
"C-can I go to the bathroom real quick?"
"No."
Fuck. He was just going to have to turn around and face them like a man. A man who wanted to burst into tears, but a man nonetheless. He had no choice. He turned around, heart beating in his ears. Three pairs of eyes immediately zoned in on his crotch. Sakura's face went from pale to bright red in less than a nanosecond but she didn't look away. Kakashi didn't seem too impressed or bothered by his state of arousal. Sasuke's arms fell limp to her side as her eyes widened and mouth curled in insulted anger. But the outburst never came. Apparently, she was aware that Kakashi was not one of those smitten adults working at KENA who she had wrapped around her finger. She glared at his dick as if it was pointing at her on purpose.
"Excited?" Kakashi said, sounding amused.
Naruto blushed. "S-sorry. I can't he-"
"What's nine times nine?"
"Uh, um, th-that's… eighty-one."
"Correct. Which term applies to the following: it is exclusive to a clan and cannot be copied by any technique?"
"Bloodline limits."
"Name three and their associated clan."
"The Uchiha clan's sharingan." Naruto answered. This wasn't so bad. "The Hyuuga clan's byakugan. Yuki clan's Ice Release."
Kakashi took off her jacket and placed it on the desk. Naruto frowned, but said nothing. He could see the outline of her nipples.
"What's the difference between a salt water user and a fresh water user?"
"Um, salt water is more difficult to freeze and, um, uh…" Was she seriously unzipping her suit? "Uh… it also heats up faster, I think."
Sasuke, who caught on fast, began fiddling with her garter belts. Naruto's jaw tensed. There's nothing wrong with them, he thought angrily, stop it you harpy.
"How can you tell the difference without tasting it?"
"What?" Naruto shook his head. "That's not possible. Not unless you have a special technique which allo…ws you… to.."
"Allows you to?" Kakashi said, casually helping Sasuke find a flaw in her stockings.
"To… uh, measure the salt content." Naruto said, blinking rapidly. As if that helped. He had jinxed himself for thinking it was going to be easier than he thought. "In the water, I mean."
"Such as?"
"Uh… byakugan?"
"Byakugan allows to you measure water's salt content?" Now she was helping the black beast with her bra straps.
"Yes." He couldn't stop staring. "No! No, I mean…I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Actually, we haven't gotten that far yet, miss." Sakura said meekly.
Naruto peeked at her. Did she actually just help him out? Nah. She was probably just trying to suck up. Still. Nice save.
"Is that so?"Kakashi hummed, fanning herself and lowering the zipper of her sinful latex suit to her belly button. "Maybe you should ask the questions then, Haruno."
Sakura's eyes widened. "Well, I-"
"I'll do it." Sasuke offered and stood up before anyone could protest. Not that Sakura would protest. He seriously wished she would though. He did not like the evil glint in the black beast's eyes. "I'm allowed to ask anything, right?"
"Yes. It doesn't have to be textbook stuff. Just don't ask him anything impossible like 'how old is the sun' or anything."
He really didn't like the look in Sasuke's eyes.
"Why were you exposing yourself in the hallways yesterday?"
He knew it. He fucking knew it. "My belt snapped." He lied.
"Did the elastic band in your underwear snap too?"
"Yes."
Sasuke stood up, removed her leather jacket and walked over to him until her face was inches away from his. One more inch and his dick would touch her pristine white shirt.
"Liar." She whispered so only he could hear. "How many times have you been in detention for sexual harassment?"
"I don't know."
"Give me an estimate."
"At least three times a week."
"Most common offense?"
Naruto clenched his fists. "Staring up skirts."
"Really?" Sasuke smirked.
"Maybe if the skirts weren't so short it wouldn't happen so often." He hissed.
He shouldn't have said that. Sasuke's eyes flashed red. "Does the length of our skirts bother you?"
"No."
"Does it make it difficult for you to focus?"
"No."
"Does the sight of panties disorientate you?"
"No, it doesn't." Naruto insisted. He wasn't lying. He was used to seeing them by now.
"Do breasts put your off balance?"
Naruto couldn't help it. His eyes flickered to her cleavage. "N-no."
"Did you not enjoy grabbing mine?"
Uh oh. How was he supposed to answer that one? He glanced at Kakashi. She seemed to be enjoying Sasuke's approach. Figures. Sakura would be of no help. There was no way she'd stand up to the black beast.
Naruto gulped. "Yes." He admitted.
There was only one thing about Sasuke that Naruto thought was cute. Unfortunately, it was always followed by a painful kick to the face. She wriggled her nose when she was angry. She was wriggling her nose now.
"Did you or did you not manipulate another student in doing a sexual act yesterday?"
"I didn't."
"Liar!"
"It was consensual!" Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth.
"It was not!"
"Are you seriously accusing me of molesting the White Nightmare?"
"The white what?"
Naruto spluttered. "Doesn't matter. Nothing happened. And even if it did it's none of your concern."
"It is my concern. I enforce the rules."
"Prove I did something wrong then." Naruto knew that she couldn't. If Hidan had told her he would've already been expelled.
Sasuke seethed. "Your parents must be so proud."
"My parents are dead." Naruto snapped.
Sasuke's scowl faltered. He could see Sakura stiffening in the background while Kakashi raised her eyebrow curiously. "What did you say?"
"You heard me." He whispered.
"Then who's paying your school fees?"
"I am. I work." Not that you know what 'work' means, he thought.
"You work?" Sasuke repeated, her expression unreadable. "Where?"
"Ichiruka's. It's a restaurant. You know, 'we serve the best ramen in Konoha'. That one." Naruto mumbled.
"Do you live alone?"
"Yes." Had she not heard him when he said his parents were dead?
"So you have to pay rent and bills and pay for groceries on top of school fees?"
"Yes."
She gave him another strange look. "How many hours a week do you work?"
"I don't know. A lot. It depends on the amount of homework I got."
"Hn." Sasuke turned away and returned to her seat. "I'm done."
Naruto stared at her. She was done? That was…it?
"Haruno, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks, miss."
"Don't call me that." Kakashi said. "I'm a shinobi. Not an aristocrat."
"Sorry, miss."
The older woman sighed. "You pass the first half, Uzumaki. Now starts the second."
