Chapter 17: one of us
Katara stands in the doorway and watches Zuko working in the kitchen. He makes dinner for them, she sees him heating a large pot of water and putting kombu in. Until the mixture just begins to simmer, he takes them out with wooden chopsticks and puts bonito flakes in the same water. Until they boil on low heat, he slices scallions into small pieces, and tofu into big chunks.
The girl wants to learn the recipe first, but finds herself more enjoying Zuko's light and confident movements. He knows what he is doing. And she understands that he wants to prove he's not just a burden, that he can do something useful.
"Oh, you are here." Katara hears his voice and flinches. "Wanna learn? You can watch me, it's okay."
"Yeah..." She rubs the back of her neck and walks closer to him. "I guess I can learn."
"You can do dashi in many different ways, with dried shiitake mushrooms or anchovies, but we don't have them in the pantry, so we are good with konbu and bonito flakes now." He says. "Don't worry, they aren't made from real tuna, Aang can still eat them."
"Can I help you with something?"
"Nahhh... I'm pretty much done."
She raises her eyebrows. "Really?"
"Yeah, I told you it's easy, we just need to wait for flavours to soak in."
They stand in front of each other for a while in silence, confused, not knowing what to say. Zuko is leaning against the counter, his arms crossed on his chest, and he is staring at the window; Katara's arms clasped behind her back, she is swinging back and forth, her eyes wandering around the kitchen, avoiding Zuko. She thinks about their kiss, but she doesn't dare to talk about it. It was so passionate and real. She had never felt such a special intimacy before, even when Aang recently kissed her in the Cave of Two Lovers. She wants to know if it means anything to him, or Zuko has kissed her because he loves her, or out of gratitude. But it can't just be gratitude, right?
After ten minutes, Zuko removes the pot from the heat, pulls all bonito flakes out with a strainer and places them in a separate bowl. "We only need the dashi, not what we made it from." He says. "We won't put it in the miso soup."
Katara nods. Zuko puts miso paste into the sieve, dips it in the dashi and stirs with a wooden spoon until miso dissolves. "Add soy sauce and stir." He points. "Then you can drop tofu, wakame and scallions."
The girl watches as he does said things, his fingers moving cleverly, as if he had made this soup many times. He then puts the pot on the fire again. "Boil a little more. Just a minute, no more." He smiles. "See, it's very easy, right?"
"No wonder you memorized the recipe." She grins.
"Wanna taste? I still don't know if I managed to get the needed flavour."
"Well... if you want, I can try." The girl shrugs.
Zuko turns off the stove, takes a bowl and adds a little soup in. When he puts a spoon into the soup, Katara wants to take a bowl from him, but he squeezes the edges firmly. "Wait, it's too hot. Want me to cool it off for you?"
"I can do it myself." She objects and blushes when her fingers touch his fingers. "You don't have to pamper me."
"You pampered me before. Remember, when I couldn't use my hands? Why can't I pamper you now?"
He looks at her with such an innocent look that Katara wants to giggle but restrains herself. "Well, okay, but just a little bit. And just because I'm in a good mood today."
The girl stares intently as Zuko lifts a spoonful of soup to his lips and blows to reduce the heat, then leads that spoon to her lips. She grips Zuko's wrist with both hands and shoves the spoon in her mouth herself.
"Well? How does it taste like?" He asks when she releases the spoon.
"It tastes... salty." Katara hesitates, trying to understand the flavour. "And... fishy?"
"What?!" Zuko flinches. "What do you mean, fishy?"
"I mean, it has tuna in it, right?"
"Oh..." Zuko rubs the back of his neck, blushing. "Of course it has."
"Awww, you are so naïve sometimes. Don't worry, it tastes really good." Katara smiles and rumples his hair. "How could you be so angry in the past and chase us around the world? I can't imagine you doing it now."
"Maybe because I was forced to?" He frowns, but his facial expression quickly changes to neutral. "Can you cook some rice for me? I always overcook them."
"And you're telling me just now?"
"Well... I was wondering what to do with bonito flakes, and they perfectly fit with rice and soy sauce." He explains. "Can you do that?"
"You can count on me, I never go wrong with food."
"I'll cover the soup so it doesn't cool down, and I'm going to set the table, okay?"
Zuko puts the lid on the pot and leaves. Katara is left alone to work in the kitchen. While the rice is boiling, she stands by the window and thinks about their kiss. They kissed! But now they act as if nothing had happened, as if that kiss didn't even exist. As if it meant nothing. But Katara can't stop thinking about it, touching her lips. She clearly remembers his closeness, his uneven breathing, his stiff muscles, which she touched timidly with her fingers. She still can feel his gentle lips pressing against hers. His excitation and embarrassment when he realized what he was doing and suddenly withdrew from her, apologizing.
Katara's heart pounds in her chest with excitement. She wants to experience the same feeling. She wants to kiss him again, feel his lips, press his muscular body against her own. But what about Zuko? Does he think the same? Is it as important to him as it is to her? Does he want to kiss her again too? Does he want to smell her body, feel her closeness?
The girl shakes her head, trying to get back to reality. Why is she thinking about it? And what about Aang? He is definitely in love with her! She always thought she loved him too, but what she experienced with Zuko was something different. Something special. Something heavenly fanciful what she can't put into words. She never felt such a desire to touch someone, and desire to give in someone's touch. As if something flipped in her stomach. Is it love? Or just a glamor?
Katara decides to concentrate only on the dinner now. When rice finally boil, she puts them in separate bowls and prepares them the way Zuko told her, then she puts the bowls on a tray and carries them to the dining room. Her footsteps on the tatami carpet are barely audible. She liked this place from day one. It looks very luxurious, but at the same time somehow simple, perfect for their stay.
"I'll make some tea." Zuko says, fluffing the last cushion on the floor. "You can pour soup and invite your friends."
Katara watches him walk away and finds herself enjoying his light movements, again. Even if his legs are completely invisible through his ankle-length tunic, she stops breathing for a moment, watching his feet press firmly on the carpet. Finally, he can at least walk normally after he regained his shape, she doesn't have to help him all the time or accompany him to the bathroom. Even though she would do anything to be next to him now, she doesn't want him to be as helpless as he was before. She is glad he wants to help.
When Zuko enters the dining room five minutes later, everyone is already gathered at the table.
"Someone told me Zuko prepared dinner for us today!" Sokka states, looking intently at the soup in front of him. "What?! Not meat?! Where's my meat? It's just tofu!"
"Sokka, you didn't even tasted!" Katara frowns and for a moment her gaze turns to Zuko. He puts the last cup of tea on the table and quietly retreats. And only now the girl realizes this zataku table is perfect for four people, Zuko has prepared a table for them, but has no room for himself. She never paid attention before, she and Zuko usually had dinner earlier than the others because Sokka was working and Toph and Aang were training. Today, however, they are all in the dining room at the same time. Besides, Zuko ate for a long time apart from everyone because his condition wasn't so good, Katara had to feed him.
It's the first time he eats with all of them...
With his new family...
And he already feels like he failed... again... even if it's not his fault.
"It's alright, I can sit farther, no big deal." He says as if he guessed her thoughts. He tries to smile, but she feels something has made him really upset.
"Come on, Zuko, we can compress." She urges. "You can fit."
"No, you don't have to."
"I think he's just uncomfortable." Toph intervenes. "Let him get used to it by himself, we can't force him, he just needs some time."
"You think it's a good idea?"
"Don't talk about him when he can clearly hear you, you're making him more uncomfortable."
"And so do you!"
Smiling, Zuko lowers himself on a cushion near the wall and puts a tray with food on his lap. He watches carefully as Aang puts a spoonful of soup to his mouth and tastes it. "Wow, that's amazing!" He rejoices. "I used to eat miso soup a hundred years ago when I visited my best friend Kuzon, his mother knew how to make it very tasty. This one tastes almost the same!"
Zuko feels pleased and continues smiling, but there is still some sadness radiating from him. They all talk and laugh, and he just sits for a while without uttering a word, but soon finds himself enjoying their company. Even if he doesn't sit at the table with everyone, they haven't forgotten that he exists. They start talking to him little by little, asking questions and laughing. Laughing with him. Zuko also tries to make a joke, but just makes himself uncomfortable.
He doesn't remember the exact day he sat with friends and laughed, it was probably the last music night when he still had his crew. Most of the time, the Prince skipped those music nights, trying to concentrate only on the Avatar searches, meditation and training or sitting grumpy and doing practically nothing. But sometimes he wanted to detach himself from the world and spend those nights playing the tsungi horn, even if it felt embarrassing to him. But then he didn't care, he enjoyed the nights with his crew, with his friends, and watched their nimble legs scamper on the ground, creating an unusual fiery dance. He himself never danced, dancing is forbidden in the Fire Nation. He didn't know how to do it himself, but he liked to watch others dance.
As the morning approached, weather always cooled down, but the heat of the bonfire never faded, he liked to watch the flames rise to the night sky along with the smoke. When Zuko was only thirteen and it was his first music night, he didn't stay up all the night and fell asleep. He felt his Uncle's strong arms lift him off the ground and carry him back to the ship, lay on the bed and cover him with a warm blanket. Then he sank back into a deep sleep and woke up when it was already daylight.
They spend the rest of the day doing pretty much nothing. Toph annoys Sokka, Katara tidies up the kitchen, and Aang, separated from their noise, decides to meditate on the porch. Zuko quietly joins him. Although they are different, at the same time so many things connect them. Meditation is very important for both of them to control their thoughts and emotions, only Aang does it much better than Zuko. Of course, he's a monk, it's in his blood, and Zuko has always been very emotional.
"Thanks for the dinner." Aang says, feeling Zuko's presence.
"You're welcome... I guess?"
"I know it's hard for you to get used to being our friend, but believe me, you're one of us now, you don't have to be so shy about it."
"I know, but it's just so weird." Zuko says, feeling his face growing hot. "I used to chase you around and now... I'm here with you. After everything I've done... How could you let this happen?"
"I always looked at you as a different person. You could have burned the whole village when we first met, but you didn't when I agreed to go with you. After that, you had a lot of chances to kill me or my friends, but you still didn't. I know you needed me alive, but you could just get rid of my friends to accomplish your goal." Aang looks straight at Zuko and smiles gently. "And then, the day you came to save me from Zhao as the Blue Spirit. The first thing I thought when I saw it was you, that you had changed, that you wanted to help me as a friend. For the first time I felt the need to be your friend. And then I learned you freed me because you wanted to catch me yourself. But it didn't change my first impression. Even when you were my enemy, I respected you because you saved my life."
"Yeah... it was the selfish reason why I helped you, but thanks. You saved me too, after all."
"Monks have always told me that everything happens for a reason and that bad people are just good people living in a bad world. I know that the Fire Nation isn't that good, but I don't try to think of every person as bad just because the Fire Nation started a war. There are good people in your country too, one of them helped me get to Avatar Roku."
"Yes, I already know that." Zuko nods. "I was there, remember? I tried to divert Zhao's attention so that he wouldn't find us, but he still did."
The monk is thinking what to say. "There are bad people in other countries as well." He starts. "Water Tribe people are sexists and don't allow women to fight. Katara hardly convinced Master Pakku that she could fight. Even Sokka was sexist for a while. The Earth Kingdom soldiers are very cruel, abusing their power to rob poor people. And at the same time, they hate the Fire Nation the most."
"They use the Fire Nation soldiers on the front line unarmed." Zuko adds. "They all just die."
"Really?" Aang's eyebrows rise out of surprise. "It's so cruel."
"Yeah, I hear you. They kidnapped this little boy saying he was old enough for the army. But they just wanted to hurt a family that had already lost one son in the war. I was there to protect the boy, but when he found out I'm the Fire Prince, he rejected me. It doesn't matter that I helped him, it matters who I am."
"It's just wrong. I know I have to stop this, but it's not very easy. I just have to win this war, but I can't do it now. I have to master all the elements first, and maybe if you help..."
Aang shuts his mouth without finishing the sentence. Zuko understands the hint perfectly, but he's not sure if it's a good idea, he's not the best firebender in the world, his sister is much better, she's a prodigy, but there's no way she can teach Aang firebending, and his Uncle... maybe if he's alive...
They both sit in silence for a while and watch the sundown. Zuko feels his inner fire slowly fading together. It's not a pleasant feeling, it happens every time, but he can't get used to it in any way because he wants to be strong. He has to be strong.
"And what about the Air Nomads?" Suddenly Zuko asks. "What is bad about the airbenders? I never met any of them, they were wiped out long before I was born."
"Well... we were just peaceful." Aang smiles innocently. "We were pacifists and we believed that all people have good in them. It made us weaker because we avoided killing while fighting, and it made all the fights more difficult. But it's just a weakness, I guess."
"Are you trying to say your homeland is the best?" Zuko frowns.
"No, of course not. I don't think all the monks were peaceful. Some of them strayed out of their way, but maybe I just didn't see it. There was no war a hundred years ago, I was an innocent child and I saw only good things in all the countries. And now when I can see bad things, I can't see them in my own country because mine just doesn't exist."
"Oh, I guess that makes sense." The boy shrugs. "Do you want to continue meditating or what now?"
"Of course I want to. Together with you. You're one of us now, remember?"
To be continued...
AN: As I know, the Fire Nation is based by Asian culture, like Japan. I don't know very much about their culture but I did some searches and I learned some new things. At first, I searched what kind of plants they have in their Japanese gardens and I used that information for the flashback where Azula killed that poor turtle-duck, and now I even looked at how to make miso soup, haha! And Asians usually eat at those low zataku dining tables with floor cushions instead of chairs.
Soooo... here we are. For the sake of Zuko's happiness, I wanted to make him feel like home. With a little insecurities though, but it's OK I can't just make him fully happy that easily!
Anyway, would you guys mind if I made this story a little... steamy some day?
