The Promise of a Future

MALIAH

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I wake up to Tyler gently shaking me awake. I couldn't remember if I'd had a dream or not, but if I did it wasn't a dream about Jason or Thalia Grace. I would know because I always remember those dreams, no matter what. I slowly fix my posture and look around, my eyes landing on Sophia. She looks better now, with a little color returning to her once pale skin.

I look up and my eyes meet Tyler. One glance around the room, and I know we're alone.

"Hey, Mal," he says, sitting next to me, "your time is up. Lunch is about to start, you should go get some food."

"I'm okay," I tell him.

"No you aren't. The others have told me that you've been holed up in your cabin since you came back. Not to mention, I know you were holed up in there before you left. You have to be starving. Go get some food."

I roll my eyes at him. It wasn't like I'd necessarily been starving myself. The gods had sent food to my cabin, sometimes. Aphrodite had even sent me a steak not too long ago. I think they all felt sorry for me. Some were even sending me things because of my position in the war. Ares had sent me a "War Strategy" binder to plan out my attacks. It was a nice gesture. I used it to do my school work.

I look up at Tyler, and realize he looks older now. I knew that I did, too. It was easy to forget that we were only still children. I look back at his sister, the small girl's face saddened in her broken state. That poor girl. Not to mention, where was River now? He still hadn't made it to camp and there was no telling if we'd see him again. My heart ached for him, and for Tyler and his sister.

"I'll get something to eat later, I promise," I tell him.

"Why do you insist on staying here with us?" he asks me.

I don't really have the answer to that, so I say, "I feel like it's where I'm supposed to be."

He looks at me and then nods. He sits back and taps on his knee, humming something quietly. I sit in the comfortable silence with him, for a while. It had been a long time since I'd felt this at ease being around him. I didn't think we'd ever get back to this point.

"I've missed you, Maliah," Tyler says softly, "so much."

My breath catches in my throat for a moment. I hadn't been expecting that. I looked up at him for a moment and take in the new harshness of his features. I couldn't return his words, not now.

"I think I'll go get my lunch, now." I say quietly, standing.

He stands with me, but he doesn't attempt to stop me. I walk out of the infirmary and realize how disheveled my appearance must be. I take a detour and go to my cabin, walking at a slow pace in my own dazed thoughts. Tyler has missed me. I don't know why hearing his words made me feel worse. I knew I wouldn't necessarily feel delighted, but this is a feeling I hadn't expected. I felt guilty.

Once I reach my cabin, I mutter the password and enter into the doors. I make my way to the bathroom and once I'm there, I shut and lock the door behind me. I turn on the shower, the steam quickly filling the confined room. I strip my clothes and enter the shower, taking the time to organize my thoughts. After about half an hour, maybe more, I finish up and turn the shower off, wrapping a towel around myself. With my hair still dripping, I walk out to the main area of the cabin.

"Hello, Maliah," a voice calls out, "are you done avoiding me?"

I look up and my eyes land on a familiar, blonde haired god frozen in time in his eighteenth year. It was how he always appeared to me, and to most people as well. He's reclined on my bed, despite the three other empty beds in my cabin, and he smiles at me.

"I wasn't avoiding you," I mumbled, clutching my towel tighter. I feel my cheeks heat up a little.

"You liar," he grins.

I look down, almost embarrassed. He had known how I felt about him for a while now, I was sure of it. He was a god who had mortals fall head over heels for him for as long as he's existed. Of course he knew all of the signs, but yet he never embarrassed me by calling me out on it. Yet, he does things like this.

"Please don't tease me," I ask of him, still not meeting his eyes.

It was almost cruel. He knew how I felt, yet he wouldn't even talk to me about it. He told me to push it all away from my mind, but here he is pulling these stunts. How could I forget my feelings when he did things like this?

"I do apologize," he says sincerely, "I've just missed your company is all."

I nod, but I still can't meet his eyes. Especially not when I'm so vulnerable.

"I see."

The god sits up, clutching my pillow to his chest and looking up at me, almost with puppy dog eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

"I should be asking you that. Did you not come here to talk to me more about my decision? Or about something else?" I ask him.

"I talked to Zeus. I asked him if I could explain to you the real reason I've pushed you away. And to ask of you for a blessing," he tells me.

"I'm listening," I say, clutching the towel tighter and sitting down next to him.

"You know, a long time ago I was once in love with another demigod. I was, of course, forbidden to bother her but I couldn't resist. She was seventeen when I first gave her acknowledgement of my feelings. She loved me, too," he tells me, his arm wrapping around my shoulder causing my head to land on his, "I asked her if she wanted to be with me, to one day share in my immortality, and she agreed. After a few months, there was a battle in which I was involved. She sacrificed her life to save me from a blow that would have gravely injured me, even if I didn't die. In her death, she was granted the choice to be immortal, to be a god. She agreed, and she blamed me for her death. She hates me."

I look up at him, and I realize I know who he's talking about, "Melanie. You're talking about Melanie. You loved her, you loved the goddess of hatred and death. She loved you. Why are you telling me this story?"

"I don't want to repeat my mistakes, Maliah. She blames me for her death. She has every right to. I knew I wouldn't have died, and I had time to save her. I had time to accept the blow as mine, but I couldn't react. It was like a car crash. I couldn't look away. I did love her, Maliah. I loved her in the way that I love you. I hope you understand why I must ask you of this, but will you release me of my duties of training you. Athena would love the opportunity to mentor you herself, but it's up to you."

His voice sounds far away to me. I almost couldn't register what he'd told me.

"You love me?" I ask him, pulling away and looking at him.

"I do." he nods. I look away from him, tears building in my eyes. I had the most rotten luck when it came to love, didn't I? "What is it?"

I sniffle and turn to face him, "Prove it to me."

"Excuse me?" he asks, taken back.

"You claim that you love me? Yet you're trying to abandon me. You're just like Tyler. I want you to prove it to me that you're different."

"How am I supposed to do that, Maliah?" he asks me, almost exasperated.

"Kiss me," I tell him without hesitation.

"Excuse me?" he asks, again.

The tears are getting worse and my throat burns with sadness, but I say "Kiss me and then leave me, just like he did. Do it."

He sighs and places my pillow back where he retrieved it from.

"No," he says, looking at me.

"No? What do you mean no?" I almost yell. I was so angry, now.

He places my chin in his hand and forces me to look him directly in his eyes, "Spending all of the time that I have with you has forced me to feel things that I haven't in a while. I love you, Maliah. I long to have a chance with you one day, with Zeus' approval. We aren't in the right place right now for either of us to act on our feelings, that's true. But I refuse to ruin my chance with you before I even get to do it right."

He doesn't let me react, instead, he pulls me into his arms and lays back on my bed. My face is buried in his chest and I'm crying harder. He rubs the spot in between my shoulder blades, one of the few pieces of my skin revealed by the towel. His other hand holds the back of my head, playing with my wet hair. I clutch the simple white t-shirt that he wears now, and bury my face deeper into him while I cry. I make my decision then and there that I will relieve him of his duties. I will train with Athena and I won't ask him of anything else. I'll never ask him to make such a big decision again.

"Even after that big declaration, I get nothing, do I?" he chuckles, the sound vibrating in his chest. "That's okay, though, it doesn't serve to make me love you less. Even if you can't tell me the same words because you're so upset with me. I understand, and I don't blame you for it."

I open my eyes and I'm alone, still wrapped in my towel. I realize, however, that I have my blanket draped over me. I'm even tucked in. I look at my alarm clock and realize a few hours had passed by, and it was only about an hour until dinner. I sit up, my towel finally giving away from all of my movement, and I find a letter on the nightstand by my bed. I stand and grab the letter, reading it.

My Maliah,

I'm sorry to have burdened you with our conversation. I know it must weigh heavily on your heart. I do hope you'll forgive me, and I trust in you to make the right decision for both of us. I have all of the faith in the world in you.

With all of my love,

Apollo

I fold the letter, carefully, and place it in my nightstand. I walk over to my dresser, pulling out my underclothes and putting them on. I dig through the drawers and find some black leggings and throw on one of Brandon's yellow camp shirts. It's a size or two too big for me, but I don't mind. It smells like my brother and I grow sad, thinking about my family. I sigh and compose myself, going into my bathroom, finding a comb. Sleeping with my hair wet was an awful mistake, I realize as I pull through my hair with difficulty.

I pull my hair into a half ponytail, a few strands framing my face. I sigh and leave my cabin, walking out to the gardens of the children of Demeter. I sit at the edge of the garden and stare at the flowers, my thoughts diverting back to the conversation I'd had with Apollo. He had sounded so upset with his own words, but that didn't mean they hurt me any less. After all, he was the reason I couldn't tell Tyler I had missed him. Because of Apollo, I hadn't. That's it, then. I would go to Olympus tomorrow and tell them I wish to finish my training with Athena. It wasn't the worst idea, she was amazing. Still, though, my heart weighed heavily with this decision.

"I recognize this face," a voice says, as someone sits next to me, "I was the reason it was created. Who hurt you this time?"

I look up and my eyes land on Tyler. He offers me a sincere smile.

"What?" I ask.

"Who hurt you this time? You can tell me."

I look away from him, "No, it's dumb."

"Your feelings aren't dumb, Maliah," he assures me.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I can't."

"I understand. We'll drop it then. For now. We should head to the dining pavilion, it's almost time for dinner."

He stands up and offers me his hand, and I take it. He helps me up and smiles at me again, "I'll earn your trust back one day, Maliah. I promise."