Chapter 5
The Century's Premiere Spiritualist
Perfection. Complete and utter perfection. This was the only term suitable to describe the omelette rice Aaron was dining on. He hurriedly shoved another spoonful down his throat, having to fight back a surge of tears.
"...How? How is this possible? This is the best thing I've ever eaten..." he openly admitted. "T-This doesn't make any sense! She's a total lunatic most of the time, yet she can make something like this?! I-It's even better than my food!"
He veered his awe to the cook, surveying her prepare something over the stove as she hummed a swell tune. Kana Mitarashi was eccentric alright. Aaron felt she had to be to go around wearing a maid outfit in the middle of his kitchen. He was positive it was the same one from her job at the café. At the very least, she also happened to be a good cook, a damn good one at that. He wasn't even that hungry, yet he couldn't stop his hand from force feeding him more of her cuisine.
"Here you are!" Kana placed a plate of steaming hot chocolate chip pancakes in front of him. "Do you require anything else, Master Chocolate Thunder?"
Aaron's eyelid shuddered. "...You can stop calling me 'Chocolate Thunder' for starters."
She took his calm yet irate declaration as a joke and giggled as such before going back to her work. Again training his eyes on her, Aaron had to admit she wasn't that bad of a housekeeper. When he awoke, all the dirty clothes that had been piling around the house were washed and hung to dry, the floors had been mopped well enough to see one's reflection on it, and the freezer had even been defrosted. He was shocked. He got she was solely doing this to remain close to him in case of a Hollow attack, but he was genuinely impressed she was taking her job so earnestly.
"I'm surprised she can take anything seriously," he muttered, digging into his pancakes. They practically melted in his mouth. "...Dammit. These are really good!"
His upbeat mood bordered on being ruined when he noticed Izumi peeking at him from time to time in between her reading a newspaper.
"...What?" he felt compelled to ask.
"Oh, nothing!" she answered. Aaron knew better than that though. Whenever she grinned at him like she was, sinister thoughts were festering in her mind. "I was just thinking that you must be pretty happy your girlfriend is cooking for you like this! It's almost like the two of you are married!"
Aaron's cheeks became bright red. "People wouldn't believe such things if Kana didn't go around saying idiotic things like that!"
"Oh, come on! You don't have to act coy around me, little bro! I can tell you enjoy having her around just from the lines on your face!"
Aaron offered up no response. Rather, he faced the other way and polished off his glass of apple juice. There wasn't a chance in hell he was going to tell her she was right. He never expected to have a housekeeper, let alone one as cute as Kana. With that in mind, he was going to enjoy the rather bizarre circumstances for as long as he could.
"By the way, is 'Chocolate Thunder' supposed to be a pet name?"
Aaron gagged on his drink. "W-Would you just shut up already?!"
A tickled Izumi decided her little brother had suffered enough. She went back to her reading material and soon unearthed something of interest amongst the local headlines, stocks, comics, and sports columns.
"Hey now! It says here that Don Kanonji of all people is going to be filming the latest episode of his show right here in Hino! Why in the world would he wanna do that in a backwater place like this?"
Aaron pondered the same thing, though he was more bothered that Don Kanonji was still filming his idiotic show in the first place. Everyone all over the country knew of Casual Soul Realm Assault Trip, the television program where Kanonji would go around Japan exorcising spirits. For reasons Aaron didn't fathom, it was immensely popular, especially with young children. Aaron, meanwhile, considered it a tremendous waste of television air space. This was mostly because of Don Kanonji's silly antics such as crossing his arms over his chest and cackling at the top of his lungs, as well as him always proclaiming stuff that made absolutely no sense.
"You're telling me the town actually agreed to him filming here?" he uttered in disbelief.
"Hey, at least something interesting is finally happening around here!" Izumi retorted. "You're always complaining about how dull it is all the time, little bro, so here's something!"
"Something isn't always better than nothing, Izumi."
Paying him no mind, Izumi put her finger on her chin. "Hey, we should totally go and see him in person! I bet everyone else in town will be there too! There might even be some free grub!"
Aaron, eating the last morsel of pancake, feebly said, "You sure do have a one track mind when it comes to food. Anyway, I really don't get why anyone would trip over themselves just to see that nut in action, but if they want to do so, they can be my guest. I'm perfectly fine just sitting at home and minding my own business."
"...I never realized how much you sound like an eighty-something year old man, little bro." Izumi shook her head and caught another interesting tidbit from the newspaper. "Wait! Looks like he's gonna be investigating at the Mitsumi mansion just outside of town! It says something about him tracking down 'vengeful spirits.' I didn't even know that place was haunted!"
A wide-eyed Aaron remembered that was the home of Konoka Mitsumi, the richest and most foul tempered girl in Hino. Merely having her occupy his psyche caused him to shiver in fear. He already had enough reasons to stay away from Don Kanonji and his crew; this just added one more.
"I'm not sure it's the ghost, assuming there even is one there, Kanonji should be worried about," he stated.
"I think Don Kanonji is really funny!" said Kana, frying some eggs. "I catch his show all the time! I really love his bushy mustache and the way he goes 'WAHAHAHA'!"
She mirrored the spiritualist's signature pose.
"...Why am I not surprised someone like you would find him enjoyable?" Unable to take any more of the particular conversation, Aaron grabbed his backpack and got to his feet before heading for the front door. "I'll see you ladies later. I've got a math test calling my name."
"H-Hey! Where are you going, CT?! The eggs are almost done!"
"Sorry, Kana. I'll have to take a rain check on those. I'm already late for the monorail as it is."
"Have a good day, little bro! Try to stay outta trouble for once!" said Izumi. Aaron blew her a raspberry and then took his leave.
"...Guess I'll just have to eat these myself," a melancholy Kana grumbled while gazing down at her scrambled eggs. She had looked forward to Aaron sampling them too.
"I'll take them off your hands if you don't want them!" Izumi made haste to say. Drooling, she gave Kana no chance to respond, snatching the plate of food away. "What's the matter with Aaron, wasting good food like this?"
"H-Haha. Y-Yeah...that guy," Kana said apprehensively. The way Izumi was tearing into her food made her ponder if she would be next. "Uh...I-I think I'll go vacuum the living room now!"
#
"...He's late. What the hell does he think he's doing having me wait?"
The mysterious Shinigami that had been spying on Aaron, Kana, and Sasune the other day tapped her fingers against the brown Denreishinki in her grasp and periodically checked the screen for something or another. Upon sighting zilch, she would slam it shut and huff in exasperation without fail. This had been going on for minutes, and calling her restless would have been a massive understatement.
"...I'm gonna chuck this thing in a minute!" she threatened, position her arm to do just that. A drop from the tall building she was sitting on would more than likely do the trick, though she relented at the last moment. "...Why in the hell do I have to do something like this anyway?! Doesn't he know I have better things to do than sit on my ass all day?!"
Again, the pink-haired woman huffed and puffed but calmed down when she became aware of how bent out of shape she was becoming. Of course her boss expected her to sit idly by, she thought. It was the reason she was being paid.
"Right. I better just...sit here and wait then," she settled on. She didn't have to wait in boredom for long. Her Denreishinki started to blare a minute or two later, startling her half to death. Sweeping her hand through her buzzcut, she hollered, "Here I am, sir! ...G-Goofing off? Of course not! Who do you think I am?! A-Anyway, I'm sitting outside some apartment where the target is hanging out. Other than someone coming out of it a few moments ago, there's nothing to report."
She listened intently to whoever she was speaking to, messing with a couple of her golden nose rings in the interim. Most of her face was pierced in fact, including her eyebrows, both ears, and her bottom lip.
"The Hollow from the other day worked out even better than we expected actually!" she chimed. "That human turned Shinigami certainly had his hands full! He's still alive though. Is that a problem? If it is, I can..."
She paused, becoming irked by a bird that was trying to eat her hair.
"W-Would you get outta here?! That isn't cotton candy, you rat with wings!"
She managed to get it away from her, yet she dropped her phone in the process. Thinking it was broken, she rushed to pick it up, grateful to find it unharmed.
"S-Sorry about that!" she said into the device. After hearing what the person on the other end had to say next, she replied, "You want me to do that? Today? ...If you say so. I'll keep surveillance on the target in the meantime."
It felt like a huge weight had been taken off her chest the moment she hung up and placed her Denreishinki in her pocket. She then stuck a cigarette between her lips.
"...I don't get paid enough for this shit," she voiced as she lit the butt and blew out a thick stream of jet black smoke. Her amber-colored eyes then made their way back to Aaron's apartment complex. "Jeez. Just how long does Mitarashi plan on screwing around in there? ...This is just like her. Idiot."
#
In spite of Aaron being certain it never would, the school day at last ended with the clamor of the final bell. Like always, his classmates were eager to stand and then head for the classroom exit. In the same fashion, their instructor scrambled to inform their backsides of something vital.
"Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up soon, guys! Make sure to actually tell your guardians about it this time! I don't want there only being a handful of parents showing up like last time!"
Most were less than thrilled at the news, Aaron included. He didn't see how he could get his mother to come to something like a silly conference when she worked almost every waking hour of the week. Besides, there wasn't much to tell her other than her son's grades were very definition of average at the moment. Until he could get them up, Aaron wished for that 'minor' tidbit to remain a secret.
"You doing alright over there, buddy?" Sasune Ishida strolled over to his best friend, detecting something amiss. "You look like you just had to take your dog out to the backyard and shoot it!"
"...What?" Aaron shook his head, not wanting to get the meaning, if any, in the Quincy's speech. "I-It's nothing. I was thinking about something I'd rather not discuss is all."
"Is that so? Well, I'm still sore as hell!"
"...Excuse me?"
"Hmm? Get your head in the game, man!" Sasune flicked Aaron on the forehead. "I'm talking about that Hollow from the other day! You know, when we almost died?!"
"Oh. That. I'm a little sore too, but I guess there ain't much complaining about my injuries considering what happened to you."
"Me? Oh, I'm fine! Getting stabbed through the chest ain't that bad actually!"
Neither of them believed that, and Sasune's cheeky grin faded after he slapped Aaron on the back. Craving to shriek like a little girl at this simple gesture, Aaron quickly covered his mouth. He supposed he was more tender than he let on.
Sasune didn't notice anything wrong. "Well, I guess we've got nothing to worry about now! We've got a clean bill of health thanks to Urahara!"
"Y-Yeah, a clean bill of health," squeaked Aaron.
"Are you alright over there, Higuchi?" inquired the teacher when he saw the way Aaron was grimacing. "Would you like to go to the nurse?"
"N-No. I...think I'll manage..."
Packing his things into his bag, Aaron headed straight for the door, desiring to go home as soon as possible. He hoped a day of rest would do his weary body some good.
"W-Wait! Crap! I can't rest today!" he shouted to no one in particular. "I've gotta train with Kana!"
"...You bastard." Sasune's harsh, almost threatening tone caught Aaron for a loop. "You know, you're quite the little sneak for not informing me that Miss Mitarashi would be staying at your place for the foreseeable future."
Aaron gulped and hesitated to respond, "I-It's not like it was my idea! That was as shocking to me as it is to you!"
"...I'll simply warn you to keep your hormones in check while you're in the presence of a lady. I'll kill you myself if you so much as think about taking advantage of her!"
Taking a step away from his murderous friend, Aaron wondered how Sasune could tell him something like that with such a serious expression when he of all people was most likely to 'take advantage of Kana' given the chance. Besides, Aaron was far more concerned with someone as flirtatious as Kana trying something instead.
He and Sasune trekked toward Hino Municipal High School's exit, yet both halted when they garnered something was off. Neither could put their finger on it until they gave the matter some thought.
"Konoka Mitsumi!" they proclaimed while snapping their fingers.
"We haven't bumped into her today!" said Sasune.
"I know we shouldn't be complaining, but yeah, we haven't!" added Aaron. "I guess she didn't have detention for once."
"Tsk! She's probably out robbing a kid for his lunch money!"
"Heh. Maybe she's beating up a nerd for his homework."
The two got a good laugh at Konoka's expense, but they half near swallowed their tongues when they spotted her just up ahead. Fortunately, she hadn't noticed them. She was far too busy removing her belongings out of her locker.
"Guess she really isn't in detention!" cried Aaron in astonishment.
"Shouldn't she be busy breaking someone's collarbone?" said Sasune.
"Oh! That's right! I forgot Don Kanonji was filming his dumb show at her house today! I guess she needs to be there when he's doing...whatever stunt he plans to pull."
Sasune nodded. "I heard about that. I honestly wouldn't be shocked if Konoka Mitsumi's house really was haunted."
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure she's killed hundreds of people! You know how ruthless she can be! Whoever's haunting her right now is probably one of her victims!"
Aaron wasn't so sure. Konoka was violent, sure, but he couldn't imagine her being malicious enough to actually end a person's life.
"Then again..."
Konoka was about to leave until she abruptly sneezed. This led her to believe someone was speaking ill of her, and she found out who upon doing an about-face. Aaron and Sasune, presuming she was going to bash their heads in, hugged one another for safety. Rather, she merely smacked her lips and spared them for the time being by walking out the double doors leading to the outside world.
"J-Jesus! My life just flashed before my eyes!" proclaimed Aaron.
"She really must've been in a hurry if she actually decided against spilling blood!" exclaimed Sasune. He was pleased to see his overactive bladder relax. "Uh...by the way, pal, we really should stop talking shit about her when she's still in the same building as us. Scratch that, make it the same continent."
Once the two ascertained the coast was clear, they tiptoed their way out of the school.
"You know, I think I'll go see that Don Kanonji filming!" said Sasune. "It's not like I have anything better to do today."
"Is that...really such a good idea? While I mostly ask that because I think Kanonji's a complete idiot, you do realize you'll be going to Konoka Mitsumi's house too, right? That's like waltzing straight up to the gates of Hell!"
"...Probably. Well, I almost died the other day, so perhaps I'm just feeling a bit adventurous. Anyway, good luck with your training."
As Aaron waved Sasune goodbye, he was tempted to wishhim good luck too. There was a high probability he was never going to see his best friend again, not in this world anyway.
"Hi, CT!" said a playful voice beside him. Fearing Konoka had come back for his immortal soul, Aaron placed his backpack up to his fragile face to protect it, hoping his attacker would only go for the gut. However, he lowered it when a finger tapped him on the shoulder. This prompted him to turn to Kana Mitarashi, who was peering at him curiously. "Are you playing a game or something? Oh, wait! I know! You humans call that hide and seek, don't you? Does that make me the one seeking you?"
"N-No. We're not...j-just forget about that."
"Sure!" Kana wasn't sure what was going on anyway. "Did you miss me?"
"'Miss you?' Uh...I guess?"
Kana scowled. "Hey! When a beautiful girl like me takes the time out of her day to come and see a guy like you, don't you think you should be a bit more grateful?"
"...Sure. Okay. I'm sorry." Aaron said this as impassionately as humanly possible, merely doing so to get her off his case. "May I ask what you're doing here?"
Winking, Kana replied, "Don't tell me you've forgotten about our date?"
Date. The term rattled in Aaron's skull for a significant amount of time until he felt his whole face grow hot from him recalling the definition.
"Uh...erm...huh?! D-Date?! W-What date?! W-We had a date?!"
"Of course we did, silly! We're gonna be spending a lot of time together today, so you better not complain!"
Complain? That was the last thing Aaron was going to do. He would have told her this himself if his feathers weren't so ruffled. Becoming quiet and lovesick, he obediently followed her when she gestured for him to do so using her finger.
"Maybe I should've reminded him that we're actually just going to train!" whispered Kana with a devilish grin. "Well, I guess he'll find out soon enough!"
#
"Looks like those two are getting along well. I'm almost jealous."
The pink-haired Shinigami managed to track Aaron and Kana all the way to the former's school and was currently observing their antics with the help of some binoculars.
"Hey, these are pretty good!" she said, stuffing some potato chips into her mouth. "The human world's really knows their stuff when it comes to snacks!"
Her momentary lapse of hunger caused her to lose sight of her quarry, and she almost slipped out of the tree she was hiding in because of her efforts to relocate them.
"Ugh! I don't get paid enough for this!" she groaned ahead of deciding she would have to find Aaron and Kana again the old-fashioned way. Of course, she wasn't going to let her tasty bag of cheese-flavored chips go to waste. The second she finished them off, she would continue her mission. "What's going on in this town though? Everyone's getting into a furor because of something or another. And how come they keep mentioning this Don Kanonji person? Maybe I should report all this to the boss."
Two students sitting under the tall, woody plant gazed up when a shower of leaves rained on them. Both shrugged their shoulders, finding nothing out of the ordinary.
#
"...So, you're saying you can seriously get rid of this spirit that's haunting me?" asked Konoka Mitsumi. Encircled by her sizable army of black-suited bodyguards, she came off as livid as always while she stood feet away from the man known far and wide as Don Kanonji.
Don Kanonji, having his own film crew in full force behind him, replied, "Hahaha! That's what you're worried about, my dear? Such a matter is a simple one for the New Century's Premiere Spiritualist! Don't you worry! You'll be sleeping soundly in your ten million dollar bed soon enough!"
Everyone there could see that Konoka was plainly unconvinced, everyone except Kanonji. She walked back toward her mansion, rolling her eyes so far into the back of her head that her bodyguards were convinced they were going to be stuck there.
"...This had better not be some sort of scam, Kanonji!" she shouted at her guest. "Someone's gonna have to come here and exorcise you if it is!"
Don Kanonji actually sensed a chill shoot down his spine. That rarely occurred when he was dealing with a spirit, let alone a flesh and blood human being. "T-That was not the kind, helpless little girl my agent told me she was!"
He quickly forgot about the mishap and laughed as loud and obnoxious as possible. Several members of his crew were forced to shield their ears.
They afterward questioned who exactly he was speaking to once he declared, "Whether it be evil spirits or little girls, the hero Don Kanonji will never back down!"
Everyone jumped in fright when he let out another series of resounding chortles prior to telling them to follow him inside the Mitsumi mansion if they dared. Since it was their job to record his exploits, his film crew had little choice but to come along for the ride. One of Konoka's bodyguards led the way.
"There's a couple things I need to inform you of, Mister Kanonji, before you and your crew begin shooting," he stated. "Even though my mistress has agreed to you being here today, there are a few rules she would like you to adhere to. Failure to agree to these terms will result in you and your crew being thrown out by force. We would prefer to avoid having to resort to that if at all possible, so please listen carefully."
"Wahaha! Whatever rules you have, they are of no concern to a hero like me!" replied Kanonji.
"...Right." The bodyguard adjusted his black sunglasses. "Listen closely, 'hero.' You and your crew are not allowed to film anywhere on the east side of the mansion. Also, all of you cannot be in the mansion at the same time. The mistress gets paranoid around large numbers of people, you see. So, some of you will have to wait outside. Most importantly, shooting anywhere near the mistress' room is strictly prohibited."
Kanonji raised an eyebrow. "Her room? But...isn't that where the evil spirit is?"
"Alleged evil spirit," the bodyguard corrected. "Anyway, while you're free to do whatever it takes to get rid of it, Don Kanonji, you'll have to do it off camera. Mistress Mitsumi hates being recorded, you see."
"What?! You can't be serious! Tracking down this ghost is the whole reason we're here, so we have to capture it on film!" one of Kanonji's crew objected.
Another added, "This is ridiculous! There are gonna be dozens of people from this town coming here to see this thing! What the hell are they going to think when half of us are just standing around and twiddling our thumbs?! That's not even mentioning the thousands of Kanonji's fans that'll be watching on TV! What, are we just supposed to show white snow while the main event is going down?!"
Don Kanonji stopped in his tracks just then, causing those in his rear to slam right into his backside and then one another. Not noticing this, Kanonji faced his befuddled associates.
"Listen up, my loyal crew! While television ratings and adoring fans are certainly important, we're here for another crucial reason!" Kanonji pointed at the Mitsumi mansion, adding, "The lovely lady of that manor is being accosted by a bad spirit, and it's my job to make sure both she and it are at peace by the end of the day! Even if we don't record it on a silly camera, I won't fail in this mission! That's just how true heroes like me are! Regardless of what obstacles impede our path, we cannot turn back!"
Other than a lone, out-of-place clap, his film crew was rendered speechless by his all but inspiring speech. Assuming this to be a good thing, Kanonji felt gave himself a pat on the back.
"Well, what are we standing around for?!" he then cried. "Let's head inside!"
The director of Cazh Soul, the common, shorthand name for Kanonji's show, said, "You heard our star! Let's get moving, people! We'll just try to get as much film as we can!"
"Now you're getting into it! That's what I like to see!" When Kanonji began sniffing at the air, his crew members were wholly convinced he had lost his marbles. "Oh yeah! I can smell bad spirits for sure! Wahahaha!"
#
The empty, quiet meadow Kana led him to wasn't precisely Aaron's idea of romantic. Then again, he was beginning to believe the two of them weren't about to be as lovey-dovey as she had led him to think.
"This should work perfectly!" said Kana as she made sure the coast was clear. "You ready to get training then, CT?"
"So that's what this is about." Aaron palmed his hand across face in embarrassment. "I forgot we were supposed to do that today. I feel like a complete idiot right now."
Kana blinked innocently. "Did you say something?"
"...No. Nothing at all. So, what did you have in mind with in terms of training?"
"Hmm. That's a pretty good question actually! I honestly have no clue where to start since you suck at everything!"
Aaron wanted to argue though scathingly realized her assessment of his skills was spot on.
He became quite suspicious when Kana sauntered over to him out of the blue. Saying not a word, she closed her eyes and puckered her lips. Aaron's heart instantly started to throb like a drum, and his body began to lean in on its own. While he hadn't the slightest idea what she was contemplating, he couldn't let a chance like this pass him by.
"Haha! Psyche!" she suddenly yelled, sliding the Gokon Tekkou, the red glove that enabled one to remove one's soul from a person's body, on her hand. She then drove her open palm into Aaron's skull. His Shinigami form came rolling out onto the pasture. "Bahaha! O-Oh my God! Y-You should've seen the look on your face! Y-You actually thought I was gonna kiss you! Bahahahahaha!"
Aaron sprang to a standing position and grit his teeth as Kana continued to cackle like an old witch. "...I really should've seen that coming!"
The stitches in her sides, becoming too much for her to bear, got Kana to chill out. "S-Sorry! I'm really sorry, CT! I just can't help myself with you! You're so easy get all worked up!"
Aaron, certain he would die of shame at this rate, exclaimed,"...Can we please just get started already?!"
"If you say so!"
She reached into a sports bag she had brought along and tossed Aaron a wooden practice sword. He awkwardly caught it, and when she retrieved one for herself, he got a good idea what she was planning.
"Alright! Come at me from wherever you want!" she bellowed.
Aaron paused. "Come again? You do realize I'm a Shinigami now, right? And you're practically a normal human in that Gigai. This doesn't really seem fair."
He sighed when she began clucking like a chicken.
"That's not gonna work on me."
His claim only prompted her to cluck louder.
"Seriously. Quit it already. I really will hit you if you don't."
"You keep talking like you even can hit me!" she jeered.
That remark struck a nerve. Gripping his blade tightly, Aaron beelined at her. His anger was more amusing than threatening to her. She easily sidestepped his downward swing and returned the favor by clocking him in the back of his cranium. She giggled at his plight, but he regained his composure and attacked with sideways swipe of his sword. She parried with her own weapon, flooring him yet again after nailing him in the back.
"Wow! You weren't kidding when you said you can't fight!" she said.
"...Sticks and stones, Aaron. Sticks and stones," her opponent mumbled. He was trying to block her taunting out yet discovered she was as good at trash talk as she was sending him mixed signals concerning the nature of their relationship.
"Well, you were right about this fight being unfair! Unfair for you! Your sword stance is like swiss cheese, ya know! Full of holes! You're not even holding it properly! No wonder that Hollow totally kicked your butt the other day!"
Although anticipating him chewing her head off, Kana was marveled to see Aaron merely adjust the way he gripped his sword. Most of the flaws she mentioned being in his technique disappeared, and seeing his resolve made her get serious as well. Shouting with vigor, Aaron came at her once more.
#
A decent-sized crowd had formed outside the Mitsumi manor in order to see their idol, Don Kanonji, in action. Unfortunately, Konoka's security team wasn't even letting them past the front gates, leading many to whine and complain. Mixed in between the masses was Sasune, who couldn't so much as get a glimpse at what was unfolding within the mansion with there being so many people.
"Dammit. I figured it would be like this." The Quincy glanced around and speculated how far Kanoji was in his exorcism. "Wait, I can see some guys with cameras over there. That must mean that old coot is still here. Well, I didn't come all this way for nothing!"
Sneaking past security was a cinch for him. He simply made his way behind the property, distracted the pair of nearby guards by tossing an empty can, and finally climbed his way over a tall fence. He then hurried behind Don Kanonji's film crew to make it seem like he was one of them.
"Hey, kid!" one of the men shouted at him. He froze on the spot, under the impression he had been caught. Instead, the individual speaking to him held out a bottle of water. "Do me a favor and bring Kanonji something to drink, will ya?"
"O-Of course! Leave it to me!"
Sasune saluted and went on his merry way inside Konoka Mitsumi's house. His jaw hit the floor at how spectacular everything was. The walls were made of finely cut, white marble, the furnishing was of the highest quality, and the place was so expansive, Sasune was certain he needed a map to navigate. Thankfully, he could see Don Kanonji's group up ahead. Like before, he made sure to make it appear as if he had been with them the whole time, and other than a camera man leering at him inquisitively for a second, it worked like a charm.
"Looks like I haven't missed anything important," he said as he followed Kanonji's group toward Konoka Mitsumi's room. He overheard one of the crew mention they had already filmed around parts of the mansion they were allowed to, and now was time for the big finale. Sasune still wasn't convinced there would be any 'big finale.' He without a doubt didn't feel the presence of any spirits. "Weird. Maybe this is just some dumb publicity stunt."
"WAHAHAHA!" Kanonji bellowed into the camera as he bridged his arms in front of his chest. "The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up in anticipation! The spirits are strong in this place! Wait! I think I can hear one whispering to me, boys and girls!"
"Bullshit…" said Sasune out of earshot. "That guy clearly doesn't even hear himself talk."
"I hope you remember our conditions, Mister Kanonji," said one of Konoka's bodyguards. "No cameras in Miss Mitsumi's room."
"You heard the man, ladies and gentlemen! I'm afraid this is going to be the end of our live telecast, but don't you worry! The Century's Premiere Spiritualist doesn't give up that easily! Even with the cameras off, my spotlight will never fade! I will bravely enter the room up ahead and subjugate the bad spirit! For those of you that feel cheated by being left in the dark, I promise to have a detailed account of my harrowing battle with the spirit on next week's episode of Casual Soul Realm Assault Trip! Until then, remember, the spirits are always with you! WAHAHAHA!"
"I can't be the only one who gets pissed off when he does that!" Sasune plugged his ears with his fingers. "Wait, where's everyone going?"
Upset at having to leave before properly finishing their work, the Cazh Soul film staff all muttered things Sasune wasn't sure he was old enough to repeat as they marched away. Even worse though was him being left all alone, making him easy prey for two members of the Mitsumi security team.
"Can we help you with something?" one asked.
"Aren't you going with your associates?" asked the other.
Sasune, gulping, felt his mind become a blank canvas.
"T-Think, you handsome fool!" he said to himself. "Think!"
He could see Don Kanonji entering Konoka's room; he was strangely compelled to see where things went from there, meaning getting thrown out was something he would have to avoid at all cost.
"Say, where's the bathroom in this place?" said the Quincy cheerily. "I'm about to ruin this nice carpet you have here in a sec!"
One of the bodyguard's groaned a bit. "...Down this hallway here and on your left."
"Don't think about going anywhere else," added the other. "There are cameras everywhere."
Sasune held up his arms defensively. "Relax, fellas! I just really need to pee!"
Feeling that too much information, the bodyguards gestured for him to get on his way and quickly. He was happy to oblige, being certain to get as far away from their watchful gazes as possible.
"They seriously think some lousy security system can stop me? They seriously have no clue who they're messing with!"
#
Konoka Mitsumi, exhaling in exasperation, looked on while Don Kanonji shuffled around her room like a headless chicken. He claimed to be in hot pursuit of the ghost that was haunting her, but he merely came off just as clueless as she was. She became even more impatient when he proceeded to prod at her belongings with his black staff.
"...Alright, what the hell are you even doing?!" she finally inquired. "It's been like five minutes, and you haven't found jack squat!"
"Spirits are rather mysterious, my dear!" Kanonji replied in what she presumed was intended to be a bone chilling voice. "Perhaps the one haunting you fled once it heard of my arrival! Not that I would blame it! Wahaha!"
Konoka snarled. "...You do remember what I said I'd do to you if you were screwing me over, right?! I'm not afraid of being arrested either! I'm rich. I have good lawyers!"
Kanonji gasped, being legitimately insulted. "I would never do anything of the sort! Do you know how many children eagerly stay up each and every night to watch my show? They couldn't look up to me anymore if I did anything like deceiving a client for personal gain! You know, I just recently got back from a harrowing experience while filming out in Karakura Town! All the good I thought I was achieving turned out to be a big, fat lie. It was thanks to the bravery shown to me by my Number One Pupil that I was at last able to see the error of my ways! I promised that from then on, I would be a real hero the children could look up to! Do you understand what that means, girl? Now then, I have a bad spirit to track down!"
The spiritualist returned to his search, next checking underneath Konoka's luxurious bed.
Konoka, meanwhile, scratched her head. "...What the hell was he even going on about just now? It's not like I asked for his life story…"
She and Kanonji were unaware of it, but Sasune had managed to climb his way onto the balcony just outside of Konoka's bedroom via the roof.
"Jeez. That was easier than I thought," he said, wiping sweat off his shimmering forehead. "You know, if this whole Quincy thing doesn't work out, I could probably have a lucrative career as a cat burglar!"
He hid behind a wall and peered through the clear, sliding doors that led into Konoka's room. It was a lot more pink than he assumed the Red-Haired Beast's abode would look like. In fact, almost everything was a vivid shade of pink, including the paint on her walls, her furniture, and even the curtains draped over her bed.
"I keep forgetting she's a girl," he mumbled. "I wonder what all the kids at school would say if they saw this?"
Tempted to snap a picture, he opted against it, fearing Konoka would track him down and break his back as retribution when she found out. Alternatively, he tried to make out what she and Don Kanonji were discussing.
"Dammit. This is where knowing how to lip read would come in handy. Knowing how to knit would be handy too. ...I should so learn how to knit! Wait, why the hell am I talking about knitting?! Ugh! I just wanna knit now!"
Back inside the mansion, Kanonji was feeling flustered. He had been more than confident he would have Konoka's spirit exorcised by now, yet it insisted on eluding him. Maybe it was a good thing the cameras weren't rolling at the moment.
"No luck I guess?" joked Konoka. "Look, there's nothing here. Just admit it."
"Nonsense! In fact, this restless, spiritual entity is practically calling out to me!"
"So why the hell can't you find it?"
Kanonji hurriedly cleared his throat. "Uh...h-how about you tell me a little more about this spirit? I can locate it for sure then!"
"What is there to tell? It's a ghost, so if it's here, I haven't seen it obviously. The only thing I can really say is that it's noisy as hell. Whenever I'm trying to get to sleep at night, I hear...strange noises. Oh! My stuff keeps getting moved around too. Like, I'll put a chair or a piece of clothing in one place, and when I wake up in the morning, it's somewhere else. I've found stuff as far as the other side of the mansion. I lock my door every night and ask no one to disturb me. That includes my security team, yet something keeps getting in here. I figured it was a burglar or something at first, but I have a state-of-the-art security system, so someone would be hard pressed to get in here. On top of that, nothing's missing."
"I see. I see." Kanonji nodded his head and paced the floor. "Spirits like these often like to play tricks on the innocent!"
"What? Is it the ghost of a clown or something?"
Sasune could have informed her this wasn't the case if he could hear her. Instead, he spotted what was undoubtedly the spirit of a little boy sitting in a corner of the balcony.
"Huh? Where did you come from?" he asked.
"Wait, you can actually see me?!" the boy replied. Terror was written all over his young face. "I-I wasn't doing anything! I-I was just...just…!"
"Chill out, fella! I ain't here to hurt you." Sasune knelt down toward the Plus. "So, you must be the ghost that's haunting Miss Mitsumi."
"'Haunting…?' Y-You mean that scary, red-haired girl in there, right? I-I'm not haunting her! Honest! I-I'm only here because I'm trying to hide!"
"Hide? Hide from what?"
Before he could get a straight answer, Don Kanonji burst onto the scene. Konoka joined him and inspected the place after believing she had heard someone else. She guessed she must have been wrong since there was no one.
"God dammit! That was close!" Sasune, clinging to the wall directly above her, clenched his teeth and held on for dear life. "So, this is how Spider-Man feels!"
Being caught would mean certain death, so he steered his mind to other things besides his excruciating pain.
"Wow. Konoka Mitsumi sort of has a big butt! I never noticed that before!"
"Huh?! Did you just say something about my ass?!" Konoka bellowed at Kanonji.
"Your…? N-No! Of course not! Heroes don't go off speaking like that! More importantly, I have located your troublesome spirit! It is..." Kanonji zipped his lips when he saw the big, bad ghost he had hyped himself up for was merely a child. "Well, it appears you had nothing to worry about at all, Miss Mitsumi! Wahaha!"
"W-Who are you?" the ghost inquired. "A-Are you with that other guy?"
"Hmm? You mean to tell me there was someone else here?! Was it another bad spirit?!"
Sasune moaned at the Plus being such a blabbermouth.
"W-Wait a minute!" he then whispered. "If Kanonji can actually see that kid, that means he really can see ghosts! How about that!"
His newfound respect for the spiritualist was short lived because he suddenly lost his grip and slammed face first into the ground in front of Konoka. He was in anguish, though he a hunch it was going to increase tenfold from the way the Red-Haired Beast was glowering at him.
"O-Oh no! It's here!" the Plus screamed without warning.
"Here?" repeated Sasune. His eyes then enlarged when he felt something too. "Y-You've gotta be kidding me!"
"I smell bad spirits for sure this time!" added Kanonji. "That's gotta be one of those Hollows my Number One Pupil fought off before! Oh yeah! No doubt about it!"
"So, you really can sense it then," said Sasune. "Judging by how this one feels, I'd say we should be getting the hell outta here like...right now!"
"Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?!" cried Konoka. "And who the hell are you?!"
"I don't think now is a proper time for introductions, Miss Mitsumi!" retorted Sasune.
"Wait a sec! You...look familiar!"
"No! No! I don't! You've never seen me before!" Sasune, hastily thinking on his feet, extended a trembling hand to her. "Uh...I-I'm actually a traveling exorcist! Yeah, that's it! Kinda like Don Kanonji here! I was...uh...inspecting your chimney for evil spirits! That's why I was on the roof!"
"The chimney?"
"Yes! Evil spirits often hide in very odd places, so you have to be thorough!"
The Quincy almost hoped an anvil would drop on his head and end his suffering. Saying the first thing that came to mind wasn't working out all that well for him. At least, that's what he assumed until Don Kanonji opened his mouth.
"A traveling spiritualist, eh? You're a rather sharp one at that! Nonetheless, this mansion is already being protected by yours truly!"
"Uh...s-sure! Of course! I...don't wanna make it seem like I'm butting in on your territory!" Detecting the Hollow drawing closer, Sasune put two and two together. "It must be after that Plus over there! That's why he's been hiding here all this time! This is crazy though! The Hollow I'm sensing is by far the strongest that's shown up thus far! Did it really come all the way here for just one soul?"
"Okay, you all still haven't explained what you were going on about before! Something about a 'Hollow?'" said Konoka.
"Look, don't worry about that! You really should be getting outta here though!"
"Excuse me? This is my house! I leave when I damn well feel like it!"
"Woman, you don't understand! There's...uh...a malevolent spirit on the way here as we speak! Basically, you don't want to be here when it arrives!"
"This young man is correct! I'll fight off the spirit while you all flee to safety!" proclaimed Kanonji, light gleaming off his black shades.
"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea! Maybe you should just…"
Everyone gasped. Konoka's entire face all of a sudden resembled her scarlet hair, and they could half near visualize steam shooting out of her ears.
"That's it!" she blared. Her resounding intonation terrified Sasune and Don Kanonji enough that they embraced one enough for safety. "I want both of you frauds outta here!"
"Huh?! What are you..." Sasune whipped his head at Kanonji and was quick to free himself from the spiritualist's arms. "Man, someone's gonna get the wrong idea if they keep seeing me like this!"
"'Frauds?!' Whatever do you mean, girl?!" asked Kanonji.
"You heard me!" Konoka barked back. "I knew there was something fishy about you when you first offered to film your stupid show here! There's no way this clown here just showed up outta nowhere! You two are obviously working together to try to hustle me! You want me to leave my home, yet you won't even tell me why?! Then you tell me there's some 'malevolent spirit' on the way?! Get real! I want the two of you outta here right now!"
"Listen to me, Konoka Mitsumi! If you don't wanna die, you gotta listen!" said Sasune.
"I don't wanna hear anymore! Jives!" Konoka beckoned for someone inside her mansion, and an elderly butler dressed in a black suit heeded her call. "Get these clowns and the rest of their flunkies outta here before I really lose it!"
"Very well, Miss Mitsumi," answered Jives obediently. "You two, come with..."
Those on the balcony became alarmed when screaming and shouting erupted from below.
"Ugh! What the hell is going on now?!" moaned Konoka.
That is what Sasune intended to find out. He leaned over a nearby railing and thought his eyeballs were going to come out of their sockets when they identified a gargantuan Hollow heading his and the other's way. The mostly black, humanoid creature was at least the size of a small building, and Sasune guessed it must have hit the gym on the weekends because its physique was like that of a bodybuilder's. Where its right arm should have been was replaced by long, claymore-like blade. Its Hollow hole was in the center of its chest, whereas its white mask was oval-shaped. Two rows of very menacing teeth were adorned to the bottom, and they gave Sasune goosebumps.
As it unleashed a fearsome howl, Sasune said, "T-That's a big boy!"
The Hollow pressed forward, causing the earth to quake with each step. Though they couldn't see it, those in front of Konoka Mitsumi's mansion could feel its influence and promptly got as far away from the area as they could. This suited Sasune just fine since it meant they wouldn't get hurt. Of course, that didn't mean the same for him.
"Okay, the film crew didn't say anything about that!" a wide-eyed Konoka said.
"...You're telling me you can actually see that thing? No, wait. Of course you can." Sasune shook his head. "That's good! You can get a grasp at how serious this situation is then! Now, will you please run while you have the chance?!"
"Wahaha! None of you have nothing to fear while Don Kanonji is on the scene!" the man himself stated. "Like I said previously, I'll take care of that bad spirit while you kids run!"
"That's still a terrible idea, old man! Just let me..."
Kanonji beat Sasune to the punch by vaulting off the balcony, flipping a few times in midair, and gracefully landing on his feet.
"...Okay, I'm not gonna lie. That was pretty damn impressive," admitted Sasune. "W-Wait a second, Kanonji! Get back here! Are you trying to get yourself killed or something?! There's no way someone like you could fight a Hollow like that on your own! Just run already!"
"'Run?' You're asking someone like me to run?" Kanonji lowered his sunglasses and locked eyes with Sasune. The Quincy was caught off guard by how serious the man appeared. "...Do you understand nothing, boy? The children would be unable to call me a hero any longer if I ran! I could never face them again! You might think I'm just some celebrity with a silver spoon up his behind, but I was given the gifts I have for a reason, and I'm not going to waste them! Therefore, I shall not run! I'll never run! So long as the children are watching me, they shall know the true meaning of courage! Do you understand now, boy? Now then, I can't keep my adoring fans waiting any longer!"
Per his words, Don Kanonji dauntlessly charged into the heat of battle.
"...I seriously don't get it! It's just a stupid TV show! Hell, he's not even being recorded right now!" blurted Sasune. Nevertheless, something Kanonji had stated lit a fire inside the Quincy. "Dammit! I can't let that idiot get killed! He's a damn hero, after all!"
"...Why are you talking like that imbecile now?" Konoka asked in a deadpan tone.
"Miss Mitsumi, why are you still here?! Didn't I ask you to run?! The same goes for you, little ghost boy! Get outta here before that Hollow turns you into an evening meal!"
The Plus got the message loud and clear and disappeared. Konoka, on the other hand, remained put, disliking taking orders from anyone, even in a situation like this. Sasune had no more time to waste attempting to change her mind, so he merely shot her a reprimanding glance before jumping down onto the battlefield himself. He didn't see Don Kanonji, so he could solely hope the spiritualist was still alive.
"Miss Mitsumi, I would highly advise adhering to that boy's warning," said Jives calmly. "It is my responsibility to ensure your safety, so please, come along. We can take shelter in the basement. It should be sturdy enough to withstand whatever is going on."
Konoka smacked her lips but did as her faithful butler requested. Following him, she got one last glimpse of the Hollow.
"...This is the last time I open my mansion to the public."
#
The hero known as Don Kanonji stood firm in the face of the Hollow that towered over him. The Century's Premiere Spiritualist armed himself with his Super Spirit Stick, pointing it at his enemy alongside some hearty chuckles.
"So, you're a Hollow, eh? It's unfortunate you had to run into the likes of me! Now then, evil spirit, prepare to be exorcised by the power of justice!"
The Hollow had no interest in conversation, and it brought down its giant blade near Kanonji to make this clear. A volley of red arrows stopped the monster in its tracks, forcing it to backpedal. Sasune then used Hirenkyaku to appear in front of Kanonji.
"Let me handle this, old man!" he stated. "You'll just throw your back out or something!"
Kanonji, admiring the Quincy's spirit bow, replied, "You took the words right out of my mouth! If you desire to run, I won't judge you! I'll hold this monster off while you do!"
"...I-It's like everything I say just goes through one ear and out the other!" Sasune relaxed, understanding Kanonji wasn't going to retreat no matter what he said. "Alright! How about we just fight this thing together?"
"Wahaha! Sounds like a plan to me! You know, you really are sharp for a novice exorcist! How about I make you my Number Two Pupil?!"
"...Is that supposed to be a good thing? And who the hell do you think is actually better than me that I'm only your Number Two Pupil?!"
Kanonji was too busy going on the attack to clarify. He brandished his Super Spirit Stick and jabbed it into the Hollow's leg. Because he infused yellow spirit energy into it beforehand, the blow actually had more of an effect than Sasune would have imagined. The Hollow roared, falling to one knee. Kanonji's pupils them gleamed.
"It's time to unleash my ultimate technique!" He held his open palm in front of him and channeled energy into it, creating an immaculate light show in the process.
"W-What the…?! S-So he's not all talk after all!" exclaimed an amazed Sasune. "Oh, I get it now! That Hollow wasn't just going after that Plus! It must have been after people with high spiritual power, people like Don Kanonji!"
"Kanonji-style Final Super Attack: Kan'onball!"
Perhaps Sasune had tricked himself into believing something amazing was about to unfold. Rather, a blue, marble-sized ball formed in Kanonji's hand. The rather lukewarm attack headed for the Hollow at a snail's pace. Transfixed by it, the Hollow allowed the Kan'onball to strike it dead in the center of its chest. Much to the creature's and Sasune's shock, the seemingly harmless technique spawned a tremendous explosion, one that swept the Hollow off its feet.
"Whoa! T-That wasn't half bad actually!" The Quincy had to admit.
"WAHAHAHA!" roared Kanonji, performing his trademark pose. "Justice always wins out in the end!"
Rising, the Hollow wasn't as defeated as Kanonji's antics would have led one to presume. It was able to fire off what Sasune instantly recognized as a Cero at the unsuspecting spiritualist.
"Dammit, old man!" complained Sasune as he dragged Kanonji out of the Cero's path. "Alright, what the hell is going on?! That's yet another Hollow who can use Cero!"
Adding to his vexation was a pink-haired Shinigami he caught wind of in the distance. By the time he noticed she was there however, she soon turned away and vanished on the spot.
"Okay? Who the heck was that?!"
As troubling as the matter was, he wasn't granted long to chew over it. The Hollow brought its sword-arm down toward him, forcing him to dive to the side. He was a bit unnerved to see the spot where he once stood split wide open.
"Yikes! T-That could've been me! This is why I hate fighting enemies with blades!"
Without warning, Don Kanonji came racing past him. He called out to the man, but of course, Kanonji paid his warning no mind and kept on for the Hollow. The Century's Premiere Spiritualist then thrust his Super Spirit Stick into the giant creature once more. The blow did nothing to make his target even flinch, yet Kanonji wasn't deterred.
"This is only the beginning!" he declared, next prepping another of his patented Kan'onballs. However, the Hollow slapped him away before he could finish.
"Seriously? Even something as dumb as a Hollow wouldn't fall for something like that twice!" said Sasune. "Man, I gotta do everything around here, don't I?!"
He launched a volley of arrows at the sword-wielding Hollow, and the monster replied in kind by slicing them out of the air.
"Right. I better try something different." The Quincy reached onto his person and retrieved a tiny, silver tube. "Well, I was saving this Gintou for a rainy day, but I guess now is a good a time as any to bust it out."
The Hollow, noticing he was up to something, marched at Sasune in order to cut him down. The Quincy was too busy trying to recollect something to pay his enemy any mind.
"Er...what was it I was supposed to say?" After punching himself in the head, his brain kicked into gear. "Feel the wrath of battle, and accept this sacred chalice! Heizen!"
When the Hollow prepared to chop him down, it's blade arm was lopped off by a transparent, rectangular beam of spirit energy stemming from Sasune's Gintou. The limb hit the ground, blood raining everywhere, and the Hollow let loose a bone chilling cry of agony. It received no sympathy from Sasune.
"That's why you don't just go charging blindly at an enemy without knowing what they're capable of. Of course, something like that is basic when it comes to fighting. Even wild animals understand that much," he stated. "That's something Don Kanonji over there could learn too."
Hearing his name, Kanonji lunged in front of Sasune, the latter aiming his spirit bow at the Hollow to deliver the finishing blow. Though the Quincy adjusted his weapon a couple times, Kanonji kept getting in the way.
"W-Would you move already?! I'm gonna shoot right through you in a minute!"
"WAHAHAHA! You've put up a valiant fight, boy! That's why you're my Number Two Pupil! You can rest easy now that I'm here! I'll finish this!"
Sasune couldn't even speak at first. "...Are you serious? Are you serious right now?! I seriously am going to pop an arrow into your kneecap in a second!"
Kanonji might have indeed been sincere with his speech, yet he assuredly wasn't listening to his irate 'student.' Sasune rose a trembling fist and debated on breaking Kanonji's jaw. The sole reason he didn't was because he was weirded out by the spiritualist randomly putting his hands on the Quincy's shoulders.
"Your bravery is truly astounding! It's almost a match for mine even!" Kanonji said, almost seeming ready to weep. "I knew it wasn't a mistake making you my Number Two Pupil!"
"And you're still mentioning that?! While I'm flattered, we don't have time for this! If we don't get that Hollow while it's wounded, it's going to…!"
'Regenerate' was the world he was going to utter, though he found it needless to do so when the Hollow regrew it's missing limb just then.
"GOD DAMMIT!" the Quincy roared.
"Whoa! Why didn't you tell me it could do something like that?!" said Kanonji.
Grabbing him by his shirt collar, Sasune angrily replied, "Iwas going to, you idiot! If you'd shut up for two seconds, maybe you'd actually hear someone other than yourself once in awhile!"
Their squabbling was interrupted by a glint of light blinding them for an instant. Then, a long gash materialized on the Hollow's chest, making it grasp the afflicted area and cry out.
"Did...you do that?" asked Sasune.
"I did not," Kanonji responded.
Neither had to wait long to figure out who had. Aaron, in his Shinigami form, dropped down inches away from them, startling them quite a bit.
"Relax! It's just me!" Aaron told them. "You two alright?"
"Somehow," groaned Sasune. "Though this idiot seems to be making sure otherwise!"
Kanonji didn't realize the Quincy was referring to him as he inspected Aaron up and down. Aaron, lowering his Zanpakutou, raised an eyebrow.
"Yes? Is there something I can help you with?" he then asked.
"Those black robes! They look just like what my Number One Pupil wears!"
Aaron asked Sasune, "Any idea what he's going on about?"
"Just...ignore him! Let's take care of this stupid Hollow already!"
That worked for Aaron. He was ready to put what he had learned training with Kana to good use. He jumped forward and aimed his sword down, slashing the Hollow on its normal arm. He followed this up by thrusting his wakizashi, intending to settle things in one, swift blow. The Hollow caught on though and parried with its own blade, sending the Shinigami backward. The monster wasn't out of the clear yet, with Sasune using Aaron's distraction to pelt the creature with crimson arrows.
"Hahaha! Looks like my Number Two Pupil and his friend are doing just fine!" Kanonji sense of justice swelled prior to him creating another Kan'onball. "Oh yeah! The Century's Premiere Spiritualist is here to save the day once again! I just wish the children could see me now!"
Aaron observed the tiny Kan'onball float gradually through the air, and he wondered what in the heck it even was. The wounded Hollow, unable to defend himself, was struck in the mask by it. After the resulting explosion, Sasune unleashed another round of Heizen, using the beam to lop off the Hollow's left leg. Without it, the creature tumbled face first into the ground. Aaron, shouting at the top of his lungs, ended the offensive by cutting off the Hollow's blade arm. Thoroughly injured and hardly able to move, the Hollow became motionless when Aaron, Sasune, and Kanonji stood right in front of it, each aiming their weapons at it threateningly.
"Why did that even work with Kanonji here?" asked Aaron honestly.
"Beats me. He pretty much comes off as inept, but he really isn't that bad," replied Sasune.
"You kids could at least wait until I'm gone to start badmouthing me!" said Kanonji.
"Alright! That's it! I wanna know what the hell is going on right now!"
Feeling a terror ten times worse than the one the Hollow gave them, Aaron, Sasune, and Kanonji gradually faced the opposite way to see Konoka Mitsumi standing there with her arms cross and her expression tepid.
"...I think I just peed on myself," whispered Aaron.
"N-Nothing is happening!" Sasune blurted. "N-Nothing at all!"
Konoka's frown widened. "Oh yeah?! What the hell is that thing then?!"
The other's eyes moved to the Hollow prior to going back to Konoka.
"T-That?!" Sasune darted in front of the Hollow, trying to use his body to block it from sight. Since it was so massive, he wasn't remotely successful. "N-Nothing! Nothing at all! It's...uh...probably some animal that escaped from the zoo! Don't you worry your pretty, little head about it!"
"Wait, you can actually see that thing?!" asked Aaron.
"She can actually see that thing," Sasune informed him.
Konoka rolled her eyes. "Of course I can! You'd have to be blind or an idiot not to!"
"Amazing! So, you can also smell bad spirits!" exclaimed Kanonji. His comment baffled her enough that she could offer up no response.
As if mocking the prospect of things being unable to get any weirder, the Hollow was destroyed by a red fireball out of the blue. The scarlet smoke enveloping the area dissipated, and Kana Mitarashi stepped out into plain view.
"Jeez! That's all you guys had to do!" she voiced. "Was that so hard?"
"When the heck did you get here?" asked Aaron.
"A few seconds ago actually! Couldn't you have slowed down a little? It's kinda hard to run in high-heels!"
"Sorry. I would've carried you, but there isn't a chance in hell I'm doing that again!"
Kana stuck out her tongue playfully. "Fair enough!"
She held up a plain, white box, making Aaron and Sasune lean closer to her.
"They're donuts!" she clarified. "I stopped by a bakery on the way here! I figured you guys deserved a treat for taking on that mean, ol' Hollow! Then again, I'm the one who killed it, so maybe..."
"No! N-No! I-I'll take one!" Wiping the Hollow's blood of his hands to the best of his ability, Sasune grabbed himself a glazed donut. "Oh, that is so good!"
"Hahaha! I believe heroes such as ourselves have indeed earned a treat!" said Kanonji, taking a chocolate donut.
"I know, right? Wait, who the heck even are you?!" Kana cried as she hastily closed her box.
Watching his friends eat like pigs, Aaron couldn't help but become famished as well. He shrugged, settling on taking the last donut, a powdered one. He never got the chance to eat it though. He lost his appetite when he noted Konoka Mitsumi scowling at he and the others like they were the scum of the earth.
"Would you people get the hell off my property already?!" she hollered, balling her fists hard enough to draw blood. "And take your stupid, freakin' donuts with you!"
That was an order no one had any problems obeying. In fact, everyone practically fled the premises at the speed of light. Now left alone, Konoka gazed back to the spot the gigantic Hollow had once been, perturbed that no one had bothered to answer her concerns regarding its origins in the end.
#
Aaron, Kana, and Sasune were making an uneventful voyage home after a job well done. The Quincy specifically was rather exhausted, mostly from having to deal with Don Kanonji's antics versus the Hollow's. While he placed his sights on the setting sun in the skyline, he was quietly grateful not to have to deal with the eccentric spiritualist anymore.
"These are really good!" said Kana. She was still snacking on donuts, and white powder rested all around her mouth.
"You're gonna start gaining weight if you keep eating like that," warned Sasune.
The mere prospect horrified her. "H-Huh?! Oh my God, you're right! I totally can't afford something like that! My boss work would kill me!"
Nevertheless, she found herself lustfully staring at the last donut. Deciding that one more wouldn't kill her, she stuffed the confection into her mouth, having no regrets as she chewed.
"You won't be able to fit through the doorway to my apartment at this rate," joked Aaron. He cringed when Kana smacked him upside the head for his unwanted remark. "I-It's true, you piggy!"
"You're not supposed to mess with an innocent girl's feelings, CT!" she chastised.
"...I'll keep that in mind." Aaron, sighing, didn't let her temperament bother him. Rather, he stretched his arms and legs and worried over how stiff his body was. "Today was rough. All that training with Kana here certainly wasn't a cakewalk."
"Tsk. You're just a creampuff!" she informed him, inducing a low growl out of him.
"I agree, CT. Er...not about the creampuff thing. I'm talking about today being a doozy." chimed Sasune. "I'm just satisfied we managed to get that Plus to Soul Society before another Hollow could come along and gobble him up. Did you see the Red-Haired Beast before we left though? I think I'd be pretty pissed too if half my house got demolished by some monster."
"Yeah, she's probably gonna blame us for that!" Aaron whimpered at the prospect. "...I really don't want to go to school tomorrow..."
Kana began giggling. "Oh, you two don't have to worry about that! Konoka and everyone else at that mansion aren't going to remember a thing of what happened today! I erased their memories using a special device I got from Mister Hat and Clogs! It does have a weird side effect though where they'll all remember something different instead of what actually happened, but other than that, we're in the clear!"
This development greatly elated both Aaron and Sasune. They were already envisioning the sorts of things Konoka would do to them when she saw them again, though they hastily cast this aside. Then again, they were positive she would find another reason to want to kick their heads in.
"Say, wasn't it strange that Konoka could see that Hollow?" asked Sasune. "She couldn't even find the ghost that was haunting her without Don Kanonji's help."
"The ghost wasn't the size of a freakin' supermarket, so I don't blame her for overlooking it," stated Aaron casually. "You're right though. It isn't normal for people around these parts to see spirits and Hollows."
"I'm starting to think that Hollow today wasn't after that ghost kid or even Kanonji but Miss Mitsumi. If she could see it to begin with, she must have a decent amount of spiritual energy."
"What are you two fretting over so much? What's the point in wrapping our heads around this?" asked Kana. "Everything worked out in the end, right?"
As nonchalant as her logic was, Aaron didn't attempt to criticize it. Being carefree and apathetic was just how she was. It was at times such as these he tended to forget she was a Shinigami from Soul Society. Maybe she didn't remember either.
"By the way, CT," began Sasune. "That was some nice swordplay you showed off today. I guess you really have been practicing."
"You can thank me for that!" proudly declared Kana. "When you knock someone flat on their ass enough times, they're bound to remember something!"
Although annoyed, Aaron responded, "...I guess I can't argue with that."
When the three turned a corner, they gasped at Don Kanonji awaiting them. The world famous spiritualist spotted them as well and was elated to bump into his Number Two Pupil and his friends once more.
"WAHAHA!" he cried, crossing his arms over his chest in the manner only he could. "Looks like I've finally managed to track you kids down! Of course, such a feat was effortless for yours, everyone's, and even my Don Kanonji!"
"...I know I've asked this like a thousand times already, but does anyone have a clue what this guy is saying half the time?" asked Aaron. "And what the hell does he mean when he keeps saying 'Number Two Pupil?'"
"Don't ask," was Sasune's hasty reply.
"Though I have to depart Hino for a filming of my show in another town, I didn't want to leave without speaking to you young folks!" Kanonji, brimming with confidence, explained. "It would be an injustice to leave my student without a farewell!"
"Uh...while I appreciate the gesture, you really didn't have to..."
Kana rudely cut Sasune off when she ran over to Kanonji and held out a notebook. "OH...MY...GOD! Are you seriously the Don Kanonji?! I-I'm one of your biggest fans! I-I know you're a busy guy and all, but could you please give me an autograph?! I'd be forever grateful!"
"Of course, young lady! I'm happy to show my loyal fans some appreciation!"
As Kanonji fulfilled Kana's request, Aaron and Sasune glanced at one another and shook their heads disapprovingly. After finishing, Kanonji stepped over to Sasune. The Quincy wasn't precisely sure what to expect from the man, hence the reason he was confused when Kanonji simply extended his hand.
"...Boy, I can admit when someone is nearly my equal!" the spiritualist began.
"...What? You don't even think we're equals after everything that's happened?! You're not even onmy level!"
Not hearing this, Kanonji went on with, "Boy, you did an outstanding job today helping me protect everyone from that bad spirit! Just like me it seems, you're a real hero!"
Sasune was flattered. "...Thanks, I guess. You...weren't half bad either for a crazy, old guy. You know, I always thought you were just some idiot postering on TV that only cared about making a quick buck, but I believe now you actually care about the stuff you're always yammering on about. That might honestly make you insane, but at least you've got good intentions. Keep up the good work, Kanonji."
The two shook hands, and Kana had to swipe a tear away.
"Aw! That's so sweet!" she said.
Aaron said, "Tsk. You cry about everything. You were sobbing over that news story we saw the other day where they rescued a cat out of a tree."
"B-But that cat was so cute and helpless! Just like me!"
"...Sure. Why not?"
"Well, it's about time I exit the stage known as Hino!" announced Kanonji. A limo pulled up to him just then. "Number Two Pupil, I leave the safety of this fair town and its citizens in your hands! They're counting on you, boy!"
"Sure, old man," replied Sasune. "By the way, I'm sure Miss Mitsumi will sleep a lot better at night thanks to you."
"I thank you for those kind words! Remember, my Number Two Pupil, the spirits are always with you! WAHAHAHA!"
With those perplexing, trademark words, Don Kanonji took his leave.
"There he goes. Off into the sunset," remarked Sasune.
"I wonder if we'll ever bump into him again..." said Aaron.
"...If we're lucky, hell no. There's just one thing that's still bothering me.
"What?"
"Who's this other pupil l if I'm only Number Two?! It's honestly insulting he thinks someone is actually higher on the pole than me! Where is this so-called Number One Pupil?! I'll punch his teeth in!"
A bead of sweat rolled down the back of Aaron's head at his friend taking the whole matter so personally.
"Hmm?" He then became aware of Kana paying great heed to something off in the distance. "What's wrong? Is someone over there?"
Breaking her stare, Kana retorted, "Nope! Just thought maybe someone was checking me out just now! Not that I would blame them, but I've got enough creepy admirers at work!"
"...You thought someone was watching you, eh?" muttered Sasune.
"Something tells me you know something about this," said Aaron.
"Nothing at all. How about we all just go home now before Kanonji or some Hollow decides to pop up again?"
Kana, yawning, replied, "Sounds good to me! I'm really worn out!"
"You really shouldn't be thinking about going to sleep. You're our family's housekeeper, remember? You've got a lot of cleaning to do. Especially Izumi's room. That place is a mess," said Aaron with a fiendish grin.
"...Huh?! W-Wait a sec! You're right! I almost forgot about that!" Kana pulled at her hair and had to stop herself from completely flying off the handle. "I didn't finish cleaning the kitchen either! Argh! Why in the heck did I agree to be the housekeeper?!"
"That's what I've been wondering from the start," stated Aaron with a shrug. Witnessing her so riled up was like the ultimate payback for all the misery she had put him through for a majority of the day.
"Haha! Good luck, Kana!" said Sasune. "You're going to need it."
Kana pouted when her so-called friends proceeded to laugh at her misfortune.
#
Meanwhile, the pink-haired Shinigami observed all this through her binoculars. She took a drag on her cigarette, spewing thick, dark smoke from her nose and mouth.
"...What the hell are they so happy about?" she uttered, ejecting another cloud. "Dammit. These people are causing me nothing but grief! I'm gonna be in some serious trouble if they keep taking out all the Hollows my boss is sending 'em. Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk I guess. That's what humans like to say, after all."
Tossing her cigarette away, the woman smacked her lips at Kana shouting for Aaron and Sasune to stop making fun of her before using Flash Step to disappear.
END
