Saturday August 28, 1813 – Pemberley
Elizabeth found herself the last to arrive for breakfast. For some reason she had found herself tired and chose to sleep later than her usual wont. She realized that William must have noticed her fatigue and chose not to disturb her rest. He was, she had been informed, out with the men fishing and would not be back until luncheon. There were several letters awaiting her perusal but the one she sought first was from her sister, Jane. She thought she knew what news it contained but, even so, there was always some fear with childbirth.
Gracechurch St., London
August 20, 1813
Dearest Lizzy,
Wonderful news! Our Aunt has had her baby, a healthy boy who is to be named Amos William Gardiner in honour of the husbands of their favourite nieces. Our Aunt is in excellent health and spirits and, according to her, this was her easiest delivery. Our uncle is beside himself with joy in that both child and mother are healthy.
It was, to be honest, an interesting experience for me. I am now about four months along and have felt the baby quicken several weeks ago. I think seeing how our aunt handled the confinement was good for me. I was too young to remember our mother's confinements and, unfortunately, if her behaviour then was similar to that she displayed for our aunt's then I am resolved that she will not attend me. My uncle had to remove her from the birthing room since she was creating such a disturbance. She was very affronted and removed herself to Longbourn the next day. I will have to discuss with my aunt where I shall hold my confinement. I would prefer to stay with my aunt but fear that my mother's behaviour will be even more unseemly. I also am not sure that it would be fair to impose on my aunt when she is burden with an infant and young children.
I know you will offer to have me at Pemberley and I believe that my husband's mother would be delighted to have me with her. I believe I would be comfortable with her. I cannot decide at the moment and will seek guidance from our aunt. I am enjoying being with child now. I am well but missing my husband most dearly. I worry for his safety and pray for his return. Perhaps I should not say this but I find my bed cold and empty without him.
I have not heard from Amos as yet. He warned me that letters would be slow to arrive and depended on the departure of a navy vessel for England. I cannot send him a letter since I do not know where he is stationed until such time as I receive a letter from him. He sailed under hidden orders and did not know his destination in advance.
I am glad that Kitty and Mary are enjoying their visit with you. They both needed to be removed from Longbourn although Mary seems more comfortable there now that she is the only daughter home. I hope you take Kitty to enjoy a season in London. I gather from your last letter that her comportment is much improved. She is now of an age where she can seriously begin to consider a suitor. Thanks to the goodness of your husband she has some portion to offer a gentleman and under your guidance I am sure that her manners have will continue to improve. It is unfortunate that she never learned to play the pianoforte but, from your letters I gather she has developed some level of accomplishment at sketching. She is a good creature and removed from Lydia's influence has become much improved in company. I am glad that she is surrounded by young women of sense and sensibility.
You have not said much of yourself or your husband but your happiness radiates from every page of your letters. I know you have assumed a huge burden this summer with so many guests but my faith in your capabilities is second only to that of your husband I am sure. I remember standing in the Pemberley Gallery and Mr. Darcy talking about the great Mistresses of Pemberley. You may not have known it then but he was not looking at a picture when he spoke but at you. I only hope that you do not tire yourself too much. Remember you are still a newlywed. Make sure you save time to be with your husband. Tell him from me that he must try to do likewise and not let you overburden yourself.
Enough scolding!
Your most affectionate sister,
Jane Stovall
Elizabeth placed the letter on the table while she finished eating and then, after determining where her father and sisters were to be found, she finished her breakfast. Since her father was in the library, she would speak with him first. As she ate, she considered Jane's situation. Why, she thought, could not Jane be confined at Pemberley? If her aunt and uncle were to visit for Christmas, her aunt could be there for the confinement. Her parents could also visit but she would have to have some assurances from her father that they would leave before the new year. She would broach the subject with him this morning. He and Mary would surely leave within a few days now that her mother was at Longbourn. Kitty might return also but, since the original plan was that she would return to London with the Darcys, as Elizabeth was sure Kitty would choose to remain at Pemberley with Georgiana.
The next day Elizabeth and Georgiana were comfortably sitting in her private sitting room along with Mrs. Reynolds. Scraps of paper littered the top of the low table before them containing the notes they had prepared for the annual Harvest Festival to be held towards the end of September. This would be the first in several years that the family would attend and the first in over fifteen that a Mistress would host. While Elizabeth had met most of the tenant families, that day she would meet them all together and host the whole affair. She was determined that the event would be memorable. They had completed the initial preparations and now Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds were regaling her about past festivals. However, she had plans to go riding with her husband and indicated as much to the others. They rose to leave as did Elizabeth, until she felt overcome with dizziness and dropped back into her chair. Mrs. Reynolds was quick to move to her side with an exclamation of concern. Georgiana was too surprised to react at all.
Mrs. Reynolds seemed unsurprised at the events and, after ascertaining that Elizabeth had recovered, urged her to return to her bedchamber, "Come Mrs. Darcy. We must get you into bed." And with the assistance of Elizabeth's maid, Julia who Georgiana had called, she was undressed and placed in her bed, protesting all the while that she was not ill. Once this was done, Mrs. Reynolds asked Georgiana to send a footman to find her brother and bring him to Mrs. Darcy's room. Once Georgiana had departed, Mrs. Reynolds and Julia sat beside the bed and looked at each other than at Elizabeth. Julia nodded to Mrs. Reynolds who began to speak and question Elizabeth. The three women talked for nearly a quarter hour before they were interrupted by a demanding knock on the door and Darcy's voice asking to enter. Mrs. Reynolds was quick to open the door admitting Darcy and ushering herself and Julia out of the room. While Darcy had eyes only for Elizabeth, he did not miss the happy smiles on the faces of both ladies which puzzled him greatly.
It was a matter of several quick strides and he had grasped the hand that Elizabeth held out to him, "Lizzy, are you well? Georgiana said you fainted."
"Not fainted, dearest, just dizzy."
"What is the problem? Are you ill? Shall I send for the doctor?"
Elizabeth considered her answer carefully, "Truly, a doctor is not necessary….not immediately, at least, but it would be helpful to see him in the next few days perhaps." She placed her fingers over his lips, "Please, let me finish." She paused, "Are you familiar with a woman's courses?"
"Yes, I had to learn as Georgiana grew up." She could see only puzzlement on his face.
"Well, perhaps, you have not noticed that I have not had any since July."
Seeing no comprehension as yet on her husband's face, Elizabeth chortled, "We may expect to be parents in early May next year."
"Oh…..Oh!" In a second he was beside her on the bed and wrapped her in his arms.
Resting her head on his chest she smiled up at him, "I think I can assume you are pleased." She felt rather than saw his agreement, "I was so busy with our guests and ensuring that everything went well that I did not notice their absence myself. I know I have been a little more tired than usual and both Julia and Mrs. Reynolds suspected something as a result but said nothing to me. I noticed that I was a little more tender…" and Elizabeth placed a hand on her bosom,"…than was usual but thought nothing of it."
Her husband wiped his hand across his mouth and she could see the hope and joy that she felt mirrored in his eyes. "Elizabeth, It is certain?"
"As much as it can be at this stage. I have not felt the babe quicken but I am … I believe I am carrying our child." She did not want to allow her emotions free rein as yet. She knew that women sometimes lost a babe early but could not let herself think on that possibility. She felt strong and healthy.
"What can I do to help you? You must get enough rest. Should we cancel our plans to visit London?"
"There is not much anyone can do as yet. Fortunately I have not been sick although I find myself eating less than usual. Julia and Mrs. Reynolds will take care of me. The important thing is to take enough rest. I think I can trust to them and…" she looked pointedly at him with a small smile, "…you to ensure I do so."
She paused while she considered his last comment, "I do not see that we need to avoid London. If I am rested, I can attend with Georgiana. I may have to limit my dancing… " She smirked at her husband, "a hardship which I am sure you will suffer gladly."
"As long as I am allowed to dance with my wife, I have no objection to her not dancing with others." He chuckled when she poked him in the ribs and then turned serious, "I am known as a unsociable man and we can use that to limit the number of engagements we attend. We will not attend parties and events simply to allow others to scrutinize you or because society demands it of us. I do not want you to tire yourself and I know you well enough by now to know that you will feel an obligation to do as much as you can for Georgiana. I will insist that you come first and I know that Georgiana will agree with me. Your health and that of our child must come first."
Without a conscious thought his large hand had encompassed her stomach and she placed both of atop his linking their fingers. Seeing the pensive look on her face he asked, "What frets you, my love?"
She looked up at the man she loved so dearly. Could she burden him with her uncertainties when she knew he was harbouring his own? After several moments she confessed, "I want this child so very much now that I realize he is here and yet I worry that I will be a good mother. Am I ready? There are so many questions that my mind is all confusion."
Darcy smiled and squeezed her gently, "Much as I had no doubt that you would be an excellent Mistress of Pemberley, I have none that you will be a most excellent mother."
"Well, as long as one of us is confident in my abilities, I shall have to be satisfied."
"You realize, my love, that you have referred to the babe as 'he'. Are you that convinced?"
Elizabeth laughed, "Not at all." She paused and grew thoughtful, "I expect you would prefer a son."
Darcy heard the question in her voice, "I prefer only a healthy wife and babe. Son or daughter will be greeted with equal love and joy." She heard the determination in his voice, "This child and you are my main concern."
Elizabeth knew that his instinct to protect her would emerge stronger with a desire to extend that protection to their child. She suspected that she would have some battles in the future as he attempted to constrain her activities; however, for now she was content to allow him free rein to do so.
Some time later, assured that Elizabeth was feeling well, they ventured downstairs to join Georgiana, Mary and Kitty for tea. Mr. Bennet had been requested to join them and did so shortly thereafter. Swearing them all to secrecy, they announced their joyous news. Kitty and Mary were pleased but Georgiana was overjoyed at the news. Mr. Bennet was silent while the young ladies exclaimed their happiness and did not venture a comment until he felt Elizabeth's quizzical gaze. Getting to his feet he went to stand before her and, taking her hands in his, he pulled her upright hugged her fiercely, "Oh, my little Lizzy. I am struggling to accept the fact that you will be a mother…a most excellent one to be sure. I…" and, releasing her hands so that she could sit once more, he waved his hand and grimaced, "your mother will be overjoyed."
Elizabeth quirked her lips, "We must talk about that Papa, but not now." We must discuss how to ensure my mother does not intrude.
The subject of conversation did not depart appreciably from matters pertaining to the babe. Darcy noticed however that Elizabeth become distracted and a little pensive.
"Elizabeth, what troubles you?" Both Kitty and Georgiana ceased their talking to look between Darcy and Elizabeth with questioning gazes.
"I am not troubled so much as uncertain…"
Darcy quietly asked, "Uncertain? About what?"
Elizabeth shook her head, "I would wish the child to be born here – at Pemberley. This is now my home. This will be his or her home. Our children should be born here. Of that I am certain. It is just that…"
Darcy waited patiently for several moments before prompting, "just that…?"
Elizabeth smiled weakly at him, "I was hoping that Jane and my aunt would attend me and that seems unlikely since Jane will have a babe only a few months old and Aunt will not wish to travel so far with an infant although the worst of the winter weather should be past."
"I agree that Jane is not likely to wish to travel. I would not want you to do so if you were she. But your aunt…I do not agree. I think we can inquire as to her thoughts. I can….I will surely provide a most comfortable carriage and attendants for her trip."
Elizabeth nodded slowly and then decisively, "We will leave this for now and discuss it with my aunt and Jane when we are in London. There is time to consider what is best." Looking at Georgiana, she thought her be rather pensive and inquired as to the cause. Georgiana did not deny her observation but was reluctant to reveal the source of her concern until finally she blurted, "You will not be able to engage in the season in the spring, will you Elizabeth?"
"I had not thought that far ahead to be honest." Elizabeth paused to think about the matter, "I would not want to travel with so young an infant and I will not be parted from the child." She looked at Georgiana with some distress, "I am sorry. I had not thought of this."
Darcy interjected, "If we are at Pemberley, we shall stay there until it is safe for both Elizabeth and the babe to travel." In a somewhat hesitant voice, he suggested, "Perhaps our Aunt could assume the role. She has done it with Frances, after all. I had wished to be present for your first season, Georgie but I must be with Elizabeth."
Georgiana nodded decisively, "Of course you must. I have decided that I will not attend the spring season unless Elizabeth is with me. I will stay here at Pemberley with you both." She looked at Elizabeth and her brother and smiled tightly, "and I will not be dissuaded on this!"
And so it proved to be. After over a half hour of arguing and discussing, Georgiana remained firm in her decision. Kitty, who had remained silent throughout the conversation, expressed her support for Georgiana and her willingness to forego the spring season as well. Elizabeth suppressed her surprise at this decision since she had expected her sister to have been looking to the season with great eagerness. That she was willing to forego the pleasure under the circumstances spoke well, she thought, for her increasing maturity. An idea which had been floating nebulously in her mind crystallized and she gave it voice, "Well, if we are not to attend the season next year, we must hold a ball here at Pemberley while I am still able to organize it. I think a ball on the first day of the new year would be appropriate, do you not agree, William?"
Her arch look at Darcy discomfited him. She knew that hosting such an event would severely tax his tolerance for society; but she also knew that he would agree for Georgiana's sake. He nodded his approval glumly which drew quiet laughs from the three ladies and a hug from Georgiana, "Thank you, Brother!"
The rest of the evening passed in quiet conversation until Elizabeth admitted that she was feeling rather fatigued. In a matter of minutes. they had removed to their chambers and readied themselves for bed. Passing instructions that they were not to be disturbed, they settled on the settee in their sitting room and shared a glass of wine and their thoughts on the weeks to come.
Later, as they lay in his bed, Elizabeth rested her head on his chest as Darcy began to express his happiness about the child she carried. If he had any concerns about her health, he did not voice them and, since his words of endearment were accompanied by gentle caresses, it was not long before love-making consumed their whole attention. The quiet conversation that followed spoke of their hopes, dreams and fears for the child and their abilities as parents.
Mr. Bennet and Mary departed for Longbourn several days later – without Kitty who much preferred to remain with Elizabeth and Georgiana - but not before Elizabeth and her father had a protracted discussion concerning the desirability of Mrs. Bennet's absence at the birth of a grandchild. As Elizabeth noted, her mother's behaviour at Mrs. Gardiner's delivery was so disturbing as to require her removal from the birthing room. That she would be more restrained at the birth of a grandchild was too remote a possibility for any sensible person to consider. Mr. Bennet reluctantly agreed that she would not be allowed to attend and to accept the disturbances that would ensue in his household. Elizabeth suggested that it was equally important to prevent their mother from intruding on Jane and Mr. Bennet agreed that a similar restriction would apply. Noting that his brother had not hesitated to remove Mrs. Bennet from the birthing room, he suspected that Jane would have a capable champion as long as she wished for that support.
