A/N: Hi everyone, I hope you're enjoying this story, and I have several more chapters already outlined.

This particular chapter is a bit long, but there was no good place to split it.

Please let me know what you all think!

Also, please let me know how explicit you would like the BDSM scenes (punishments, sex, etc) to be. I have a couple planned right now, but don't know how far to go with the descriptions as this is my first fic like this. This chapter below is what I would consider to be moderately explicit. Let me know if you want more detail or less or if you like it as it is. Feel free to PM me if you don't want to leave a comment.

Thank you for reading!
RavenPuff26

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Snape's POV

Harry went back to his room, and closed the door. Merlin's beard, I am exhausted. That boy does nothing but ping pong my emotions. One minute, I'm ready to bend him over my desk and tear into his ass, then moments later he's subdued and just makes me so proud. Why does he effect me so much? He's not even my submissive and I already have more of a connection with him than any of my trainees.

I sat down in my study, and began planning my next move. Harry told me that he only had one or two glasses of fire whiskey, but based on his state, I would guess he had much more than that. I can't help but think about my own experiences with fire whiskey and all the pain it caused me and my family. Lucius blamed himself for my rapid addiction, but I knew full well how it effected me and I chose to drink anyway.

My Lord forbade me to drink any more alcohol after the incident with Bella. We were having a small party shortly after I became a submissive to My Lord, while I was training to become a Dom. I had a particularly hard day at the club with some new potions I was developing that went terribly wrong. I was discouraged and rather than going to My Lord for comfort, I decided to comfort myself with alcohol. Bella had come over to talk and just spend time with me. I was not in the mood and thought she had made a few too many lighthearted jokes at my expense. I responded by saying the nastiest things to her. I basically told her that the only reason My Lord even gave her any notice was because of her snatch.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt faint. I was so ashamed, and I ran to my bed chambers. It took less than 2 minutes for My Lord to enter, and he brought Bella with him. She was still crying. She and I had always gotten along, and there was no reason for me to show signs of jealousy. My Lord gave me plenty of attention, and would be there anytime I asked. I fell to the floor at her feet and begged for her forgiveness. I knew I was in trouble with My Lord, but I didn't care. He wasn't the priority for me at that time. Bella knelt on the floor and held me, she was so forgiving and loving and I did not deserve her friendship. She told me I was forgiven, between her tears.

My Lord sent her to their room to freshen up, and to go back down to the party. She agreed, but looked at me sadly, knowing that My Lord would not take kindly to what I had said. I was ready, I would take whatever punishment he would give me. My Lord sat in a chair in front of the fire, and summoned me to his side. I knelt on the floor, ready for a severe spanking. But he didn't spank me. He talked to me and told me that my actions were disgraceful. He was angry, but kept his demeanor flat. He forbade me from drinking ever again, no matter the situation or amount. He would punish me gravely otherwise. With that he left me in my room to ponder my misdeeds. I was distraught. It would have been better if he had beat me.

Unfortunately, I did not heed his threat.

Ten years ago, I walked into my first year's potion class, and saw Harry for the first time. I was taken aback because he looked identical to James, but looking closer I saw Lily's eyes. I was immediately flooded with conflicting emotions of both love and hate. I took out my frustration on this poor boy, and thus began the animosity that bloomed into something almost akin to hate. As he got older, I saw more of Lily and less of James, and came to care for the boy, at least to the extent that a professor cares for his students. I still remember the anger and pain I felt the first time I saw him. I was overwhelmed and couldn't bear my emotions. I was also embarrassed because My Lord and Lucius had already helped me through the pain of losing Lily. They helped me come to terms with her death and to control my emotions again. It was brutal, but made me a better man.

All that training went out the window when I was presented with her son. I had planned on going back to Imperium that evening for our weekly "family dinner" but sent off an owl stating that I had another obligation at school that I could not escape. I locked myself in my dungeon chambers, had a house elf bring me fire whiskey, and sat on my floor. I stared at the bottle for a long time. I knew I was disobeying My Lord. I just wanted a way to release my body and mind from the pain it was enduring. Although it was not my initial intention, I drank the entire bottle.

Lucius was suspicious of my absence, as I would have known well in advance if I had other obligations. I was also too vague in my letter. He decided to pay me an impromptu visit, and after having the headmaster unlock my door, found me passed out on the floor, the bottle still in my hand. Lucius summoned My Lord immediately. When he saw my state they took me back to Imperium. My Lord had found my stores of an anti-alcohol potion that prevents alcohol poisoning, but gives you an instant hangover. We only use it in desperate situations, and this was one. I immediately came to, threw up and had a pounding headache. I saw where I was. I remembered what I did. I was fucked.

"How dare you. How dare you be so careless with your life. How dare you lie to us. How dare you disobey me. How dare you disrespect your family." My Lord was not holding back his anger, yet even while yelling he seemed to be in control. He just looked at me and then walked out. Lucius shook his head and followed. I was left alone, sick to my stomach, and not just from the alcohol. It wasn't even worth it. Drinking made my feelings intensify, so I just kept drinking to try to dull them. I'm an idiot, and I have disappointed them worse than ever before.

I decided I needed to face them, and accept any punishment they wished to give me. I just need them to forgive me. I can't lose the only people I have left. I went to the door, but it was locked. I was locked in my room until they decided what to do with me. My wand isn't here, so they must have taken that as well to prevent me getting out. I did the only thing I could think of. I knelt quietly in the corner, with my hands in my lap, closed my eyes, and waited.

A few hours later, Lucius came up to get me. It was clear that he had been crying because of the puffiness around his eyes. Lucius was also scared. He was shaking as he held my hand while we walked down the stairs to the study. I walked in to see My Lord's Own together, waiting with nervous patience for my entrance. Bella sat with Narcissa and was crying softly. Stacy and Wesley were on the couch, holding hands and looking relieved but sad. We weren't a big family, but we worked everything out together. If you were chosen to be one of My Lord's Own, you were given an equal say when it came to matters of the family. Seeing them all made me realize that I hadn't just hurt myself and disobeyed My Lord, but I had hurt everyone in this room.

Lucius led me to the middle of the room, where a small pillow was placed. I kneeled carefully on the pillow, bowed my head, and waited. The silence was deafening, and it seemed like hours before My Lord spoke.

"Severus, what do you have to say for yourself?" My Lord said. His calm demeanor well in tact.

"I do not pretend that I have any reason that would excuse my behavior today." I began.

"We do not want to hear your prepared apologies. We are no where near that yet. We want to know why you decided to poison yourself, specifically with alcohol, which you know you are forbidden to consume." My Lord's voice had a dark edge to it.

"It was...well..." I was so embarrassed. Thinking about my reasoning now, I realized I was just pathetic. "It was Lily's son, My Lord." A collective sigh went through the group as soon as I said Lily's name. They all knew what her death had put me through. "He's eleven now, Sir, and he was in my class this morning. I was looking at the spitting image of James Potter, but with Lily's eyes. He had Lily's beautiful green eyes. My emotions overtook me. Love and hate, feeding each other. I was so horrible to him. I knew drinking was the wrong answer, and I knew I was lying to you when I sent that owl. I did it because I was ashamed of the effect this small boy had on me, My Lord. I didn't want you all to have to go through the pain and misery that we went through when Lily died. I... I just..." I was sobbing. I had said all this so quickly before I collapsed to the floor. Lily's dead. My family hates me. My Lord is going to give up on me.

"Back on your knees, Severus." My Lord commanded. I pulled myself, up and resumed my position, tears still flowing. "I do not doubt that seeing the boy had this effect on you. I do not blame you for your emotions. What I do blame you for is the fact that you lied to me, disobeyed a direct order, put your life at risk, and put your family through hell. This is severe, Severus. I hope you understand that."

"Yes, My Lord."

"Please rise, disrobe to your boxers, and put on your collar." He ordered. I was still wearing my Hogwarts robes, so this was quite a process. I looked at my collar solemnly. I had not been required to wear this since I became a Dom. Our collars were a symbol of our submission to My Lord, and only Bella, Narcissa, and Wesley wore theirs on a regular basis, and theirs were tied to their personal Dominants. I picked it up slowly, and secured it around my neck. My Lord put his protective charm on it which would prevent me from taking it off. We had to put the collar on ourselves, as a symbol of consent, but once it was on, My Lord could see where we were, check our health vitals, and summon us to his side.

"Since this is a family matter, you will need to kneel before each one and listen to what they have to say to you. You are not to speak or to touch them. If they wish to touch you, they may, but you are to remain still."

I nodded slowly and knelt before Stacy. She spoke softly, but scolded me for putting them through so much worry. Next was Wesley, who looked at me sadly. He began with words of comfort about Lily, and said he understood my pain. He was in tears when he begged me not to harm myself in anyway over something I couldn't control, and to remember that they were all there to support me. He placed his hand on my cheek and kissed my forehead. I knelt before Narcissa, and she just cried. I chanced a glance at Lucius and could see that her tears were making him angry. She told me that she was so worried, and that I was like her brother. I could not allow myself to succumb to that pain and do such a stupid thing. Not only did she and Lucius need me, but so did Draco. She held my hand tight, and kissed it. As I moved toward Bella, I felt a quick slap upside head. It was not painful, but it was to show Bella's disappointment in me. She told me that was all she had to say, and kissed my cheek.

Last was Lucius. He was standing, so kneeling before him was even more intimidating. "Why? Why, Severus? We are your family. We are always here to help you. What you did was childish and dangerous. I know you know this, but I can't fathom a reason why you would ignore these facts. I have been there for you for years. Years, Severus. I have never turned you away when you were in need. I can't pretend that I have lived your life, nor understood your feelings for Lily. I understand she was a light in your life, when you had none. I thank the stars that she was there for you, because I'm not sure you would have lived this long without her, especially when you were in your parents home. But for fuck sake, Severus. You knew better and you still did it. You knew better." Lucius broke down and hugged me hard. He whispered in my ear "If you do anything to endanger your life again, you better hope My Lord finds you before I do." I stiffened knowing I that Lucius was deadly serious. With that he stood, and walked to Narcissa's side. I went back to the cushion that was in the middle of the room, and knelt before My Lord.

"Severus, due to your decisions today, you will be wearing your collar for at least a month, but may be longer if I judge it necessary. You will return to Imperium each Friday after classes end, and remain here until Sunday after dinner. Apparently you need additional training and supervision. You will check in with me each night via the floo in your dungeon chambers. Every infraction that you incur during this time will be punished and time will be added to the prescribed month. Is that clear?" My Lord's voice was stern, but gentle. It was evident in his face that he just wanted me safe.

"Yes, My Lord"

"Now, for this particular infraction, you will be receiving 50 strikes on your bare ass with my belt along with 10 strikes of the paddle from each of your family members. You will bend over the desk, and you will remain standing throughout your punishment. If I am required to restrain you or assist you to stand, additional strokes will be added. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, My Lord"

"Very well. Please remove your boxers and bend over the desk."

I practically ran over to the desk. I needed this punishment. I needed to be forgiven. I just wanted this to be in the past. I slipped my boxers down to my ankles, bent over, and gripped the far end of the desk. The first strike of his belt came quickly and seared across my ass. I gasped in pain. It had been a while since I felt the wrath of this particular implement. My Lord wasted no time, and within a few minutes had administered the 50 strokes. I was in full tears by 20, I'm not sure how I made it to 50 without falling to my knees begging for it to stop. All I could think about was how much pain I had put them all through. I knew I deserved this.

Wesley was first up to deliver 10 licks with the paddle. Let me tell you, that skinny boy is much stronger than he looks. He put everything he had behind each smack, and I screamed out at the last two. My Lord must have allowed a moment's pause because I had calmed back down to a quiet sob before Stacy took her swings. She was a highly trained Domme and knew how to wield it. She didn't go for power behind each blow, but carefully planned where each one would land, so that my entire ass and upper thighs were spanked. Narcissa's spanks were hard, but not particularly painful. I'm not sure if she just wasn't strong enough, but my gut told me that she thought I had already been through enough. Bella had a similar technique to Stacy's, but not nearly as good at aiming. Her licks stung, and I was at my breaking point. I had ten more coming from Lucius, and I knew from experience, that I was in for it. Lucius took his position and landed one excruciating spank, paused for about ten seconds, then landed another. He was dragging this out so I felt every single smack. When he finished, I tried to hold myself up, but I was spent. Someone slipped my boxers back up, and My Lord helped me to the couch, where I was laid on my stomach. He dismissed everyone else back to their chambers, and sat in the chair facing me. He let me cry into the couch and waited patiently for me to calm.

"Severus, please sit up, I would like to speak with you."

I pushed myself off of the couch and sat very gingerly on my newly torn up ass. I would be reminded of this punishment for several days, if not a week. Looks like I will be teaching standing up for a while.

"Severus, I hope we have conveyed to you the seriousness of your drinking. I had thought I got through to you after the incident with Bella. I had hoped we could avoid a physical punishment, but it was all I could think to do. I want you safe. You are like a son to me, and we would all be lost if anything happened to you. We may not be blood, but sometimes chosen families are for the better. We will always be here for you. During this time, if you ever feel overwhelmed or have an urge to drink, tap on the collar twice and I will be there. Remember Severus, I am an accomplished legilimens, so if you lie to me about these feelings, I will know. I was not making an idle threat when it comes to any transgression in the next month. You have always been a well behaved young man, and I expect you to keep that up. With that being said, do not bottle up your feelings or try to hide away from your anxieties. If you do, you are likely to burst. I want you to deal with your emotions in a healthy way, and we will work on this together." My Lord was calm and gentle now. "Severus, you are forgiven."

"Thank you, My Lord" I choked out, I was trying hard not to sob again.

"Come, let's get you into a bath and then put a bit of salve on those bruises."

My Lord gently lifted me off of the couch, and carried me back to my room.

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