A/N Hey everyone, just wanted to say sorry that this didn't come up sooner but life got in the way I'm getting this chapter to you this week though early. So I hope it makes up for my lack of multiple updates last week. I won't bore you with a really long Authors note I just want to say thank you to all of you, some of the reviews I've been getting recently have been amazing and really have made me try and make my story better. Some of you are seeing things I've missed and hopefully once I finish this I can go back and fine tune anything to make it more consistent. So thank you all for reviewing and to those of you who have recommended this story, it's slowly become something very important to me. I've tried my hand at writing before but this seems to have taken off and it shows I've hit the nail on the head somewhere with the way you guys are taking too it so well. So thank you my wonderful readers.
Also I have to give a huge thank you to Tricia2475. I made a mistake with my file send of this chapter but she was fantastic and still managed to get me some help and corrections. It's really great having someone to watch over my writing and tell me when I need to scrap one thing and expand on another. So Thank You Tricia2475.
RED DAWN
SUMMARY: Edward had always warned Bella that the pack were dangerous. Hostile, volatile and aggressive in nature. She ignored him, testing even Edward's own vampire instinct by staying friends with his enemy, Jacob. One event will change them all, Bella never truly understood the supernatural world. Didn't understand the aggression that lay dormant even in her controlled mate until it was too late. Warning: Violence and Character death.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the Characters.
Chapter Nine
Forks had been swallowed by night fall by the time Edward reached Bella's home. Edward had stopped to find both Emmet and Rose watching over the Swan home in the cover of the tree line. They'd decided to take up watch while Edward was hunting with the Denali, he'd checked in with them both letting them know that they were free to hunt even though they refused the offer. It seemed that the attack of the pack on the Denali coven while days ago now, had hit harder then they'd wanted to show. Losing Irina made them feel truly vulnerable, all of them. While the pack had lost more members to this fight, Edward had started to see that the once self assured belief that they weren't as much as a threat had vanished. His family had learnt from the mistakes the pack had made in the past and they weren't about to let themselves be taken off guard. Especially with how well planned the attack on the Denali coven had been, it was no secret that battle had been lost.
Though the measures taken had left the pack firmly in their own land, Edward had found from other members of his family that some who worked outside of La Push had even refused to leave their land. Jasper and Emmet had earlier in the day been training and Edward believed that they'd continue to. Rose had even made it perfectly clear her desire to be trained alongside some of the other members. Carlisle had remained distant if not completely removed from all the thoughts his siblings had while they'd tried to help each other. He still refused to see what was happening, even as the Denali cried out for instant action Carlisle held them back struggling to keep his family from moving to counter the offense carried out against them.
"How has she been?" Edward asked as the three of them stood outside looking towards the house.
Edward could hear the movement even from this distance, the hushed conversation Charlie and Renee were having about hospital bills if Bella wanted reconstructive surgery. It was an issue Edward didn't like thinking about. He would offer the money if Bella felt the need to have the surgery done but he doubted she'd take it. She'd always been stubbornly set in her ways about his money and wanting to give her what was his.
"She slept a little earlier. For a few hours before she had dinner with both Charlie and Renee. She's been in her room since then, she unlocked the window" Rose said making it clear to Edward that it was a sure sign of her welcoming him. The window being unlocked had always been a sign between them, if she ever locked it, which she never had it meant for him not to come in. Her window being open to him was a welcoming, one he didn't plan on ignoring for long.
"Go on we won't hold it against you for wanting to see her" Emmet slapped Edward on the back laughing as Edward grinned back at his larger brother.
"We'll leave you two to make up. Though I can't imagine its much fun making up when you're celibate" Emmet said sourly trying to get under the skin of Edward as he shook his head at his thoughts. It was no secret that Emmet and Rose's physical relationship bordered on the side of constant arguing and making up but Edward didn't nearly feel as annoyed by their physical showing of love. Not now he had someone he loved too, he'd never realised before that his annoyance had come from a place of jealousy and bitterness.
"Once she's ready we can have all the makeup sex she wants" Edward said smugly shocking both Emmet and Rose leaving them behind with mouths still slightly agape and minds speechless and stuck on the thoughts of their virgin gentlemen brother seducing his human mate. Further signs of the drastic shift that seemed to be falling over Edward, the thought that he was even entertaining the idea stunned them. While at the same time making them both somewhat proud in his growth.
"Oh god brain bleach" Emmet called from behind Edward as he only laughed louder to himself, then having to pull in his own amusement at the expense of his brother and sister.
They'd always enjoyed making him feel uncomfortable with the comments of sex, especially when he'd always been so set in his human times beliefs on the act. Edward did see that Emmet, while disturbed by the thought of Edward finally letting go of that old fashioned mind set, was genuinely happy to see this less uptight version of Edward. For all the rage and stress Emmet believed that those small hints of the confident man Edward was becoming, who voiced his thoughts without fear of being turned away or seen as something less then he was would be a good thing. Emmet only wanted his family happy.
Edward moved quickly to Bella's home leaping up in one fluid motion and slipping inside of her bedroom window and closing it, he watched the moment Bella became aware of his presence. She had her back to him as she stood near to the new flat screen Charlie had got her slipping a disk into the side of it as her body froze hand extended outwards. Edward remained still as he watched her, her scent had finally returned to itself and it was a comfort and even though the venom in his mouth caused a fire down his throat as he swallowed it back he couldn't help but feel a comfort in the pain. He'd always said he was a masochist. Bella spun around a little too quickly and Edward felt the need to move to her side and steady her but she was sure footed as she looked at him finally.
There was a long pause between the two as they simply stood across from one another staring. Anyone would have believed the separation had been longer. Bella's beautiful brown eyes watered and she moved then all but leaping as Edward met her, embracing her into his arms and holding her small body into his arms. They both clung to each other neither having it in them to speak a word even though they both knew they had so much to say. In that moment though, both were happy to be pulled into that special bubble that seemed to form around them whenever they were alone together. Happy to just enjoy and savour the feel of holding the person they loved most in the world. Bella nestled her face into his supernaturally hard chest even though there was no give behind it pressed her face into it more feeling a few tears slip past her eyelashes. How could she ever for a second believe she'd not be able to forgive him, how had she ever doubted that they'd be able to get past what had happened. It seemed a ridiculous thought now as she fisted his shirt at his back all but wanting to crush her own body against him, his cool touch like a soothing balm to her bruised heart.
"I'm so sorry love" Edward whispered into her hair pressing his lips to the top of her head his fingers splaying over her hip and the small of her back rocking them together as they stood there still.
"No I'm sorry. I was confused. I shouldn't have sent you away" Bella refused to hear his apology feeling so much guilt. She knew that the separation was the one thing both of them probably feared most after the actual loss of the other.
"I understood. We were angry, we've both made so many choices and now I've done things. I know you'd never want. I know my excuses may be hard for you to understand. I know it goes against all I've told you about my family" Bella looked up at Edward shushing him as she moved to place a finger against his lips to stop him, she didn't want him to beg for her forgiveness not when she'd had just as much hand in this all coming to head.
She knew logically she'd had no real impact on the deaths that had happened, she'd not killed Jacob but then she'd not been at fault for Jake hurting her either. Edward had done what a vampire did when they risked losing their mate. Edward protected himself when he'd had too. How could she make him feel guilty for that for saving her and protecting himself, she couldn't that wouldn't be fair.
"Please Edward you don't have too. I can't... I can't say I understand and I hope I never have to feel what you must have felt. I've made mistakes too. I tried so hard to force something that just wasn't possible. I've overlooked your own feelings about that entire situation. I overlooked so much when it should have been clear from the beginning. What you said it opened my eyes to a lot of what I tried to push aside and forget" Bella said wanting him to know she'd finally heard him. She had never believed Edward possible of the same insecurities and fears that she was. She'd ignored his feelings on the entire Jake situation, and then she'd ignored his warnings when he'd begged her to listen. She'd put herself at risk and it had resulted in the entire imploding of the treaty and now she knew that there was a war she'd not be able to stop.
"I never wanted to hurt you. Even though I hate him, even though I still hate him after what I did to him. I never wanted to take your friend not in that way Bella" Bella nodded as she looked into his eyes and then finally saw them, she'd noticed the strange colour when she'd woken in hospital but hadn't seen them since that up close. Now she could finally see them and what had changed about them.
Bella looked up into Edward's eyes and she saw that of a traditional vampire. They were a bright ruby red, so bright and wild as they looked down at her. These were the colour of eyes she'd seen in those who had in the past wanted to bring her harm. She'd seen red eyes like these on the face of James when he'd hunted her. In Laurent's when he'd found her in the meadow, then Victoria's when she'd come for her. Bella had seen more red eyes on vampires then she'd seen golden of the Cullen family. She'd never believed she'd see them on Edward's though. Even when she'd first found out what he was and he'd told her he'd killed before she'd never seen him in her mind with red eyes. Never thought to even think of Edward in such a way, he'd always shown so much restraint and control she'd never believed he was capable of making the type of mistakes that he'd warned her about.
Even then though, as she looked into those swirling red liquid eyes, even brighter than his butterscotch eyes after hunting, he was completely mesmerizing to her. Even there with the truth as plane to her as it had ever been that he'd taken a life, she saw only beauty. Bella knew then, knew that even if Edward had found her as a vampire who preyed on human's and had claimed her for himself as his mate without the need to resist his true hunger she'd have loved him. Bella would have always loved him, animal or human, innocent or sinner. Bella would love Edward, there was no questioning it, there was no doubt in it, and she would love Edward in spite of anything he did or chose to be. Bella was his completely. She'd just never truly understood the complete depth of it, the mating bond was unconditional, and it was unbreakable.
Edward felt the need to close his eyes to her as she looked at him. He'd not thought to grab the lenses that Alice had been giving him for when he was around humans. He'd found them irritating and uncomfortable, the constant need to change them was problematic too because of the venom coating his eye that slowly disintegrated the lenses. For a second Edward had wanted to find an exit as Bella looked at him completely and then froze on his eyes. It had only been because she'd not flinched or cringed away from him that had kept him in place holding her as she looked into his very soul. He knew that whatever she asked or said to him in that moment he'd never hold it against her, she'd seen some of the worst of his kind and they'd all shared that similar feature, the eye colour. His usually golden eyes had always been something that made him different from those of his kind that even he called monsters. That he judged even worse then what he was to this world.
"Your eyes they're beautiful" Bella whispered her hand moving up to cup his face and she'd watched as her words and almost made her unbreakable love crumble.
She'd seen the vulnerability in Edward's face then, and she saw then what Jasper had tried to make her see, how easily she could break him. Make him doubt everything he was doing to keep them all safe. One word said wrong or an accusation thrown at him and he'd cave, he'd give her everything she'd ask for. He'd done that ever since his return, he'd allowed her friendship even though he hated it, he agreed to change her while trying to convince her to compromise something else but eventually caved to that too. She held so much power over him and she didn't want to take advantage of that anymore, they were meant to be equals and in love not using that love against each other. He'd been right when he'd accused her of punishing him, now she saw how he'd seen it that way all along.
"You don't mean that" Edward said closing his eyes as Bella moved both her small hands to hold his face too look directly in her eyes, not wanting him to look away.
"I do. They are beautiful even red, I've seen them red, black and golden and I'd love you in every single way. You've always had beautiful eyes not because of the colour but what I can see inside, the man I see in them" Bella said honestly trying to make him see.
"I love you Edward. I love you and that won't change, nothing will ever change that" Bella's voice turned to a soft whisper as she became overwhelmed with her declaration of love for him and then she was off her feet.
Edward hadn't been able to stop himself, he'd need, wanted to as he'd taken claim of Bella's body and swept her at vampire speed off her feet and then moved her down onto her bed. He moved over her possessing her in a way he'd always tried to hold back, the man scared of the monster in the past he'd been scared of his own desire for his mate. Believing it something sinister, he knew better now. His instincts didn't wish her harm, he'd overcome that, his hunger for her wasn't of the blood in her body but the body itself and the pleasure he'd desired from it from the very beginning. Too long he'd lived a life of restraint and denied himself anything that would give him pleasure, listening to her devotion her love for him. It had been everything he'd wanted and waited a century for. As he held himself over her, as she looked up at him her eyes wide and hooded in desire too he knew she was his equal in all ways. Even in his years on this earth both were the same in this. He didn't see the stitching and marks on her face as she feared he might, he only saw her and everything he'd always wanted.
Then he descended on her, his lips firm and unyielding took claim of hers then, brushed over her fuller bottom lip forcing her lips apart. He consumed her and he took her lips against his own, he tasted her scent in his mouth and he embraced the ache that it created in his throat and in his very body for her. Edward kissed her completely, he kissed her like a lover instead of controlled restrained chaste pecks, and he gave them both something they'd both wanted. She'd always been more vocal in her desire for more while he'd remained silent in his need, now he would give in. He would give in to everything he'd always secretly wanted. He wasn't human but he could still have this, hadn't he seen that with all his family. They loved just as passionately and he'd for some reason always believed his passion a sin.
No more.
He'd sacrificed enough of his life mourning what he couldn't be and what he'd never have, this he could and Edward greedily took and he kissed and tasted and it was heaven. It ached so good, and it brought to life parts of his body he'd once believed long dead to him, arousal he'd once forced down was taking reign over his body.
Bella was swallowed by a world of touch and bliss, she'd not understood what was happening until she'd looked into those darkening red eyes, she'd then felt his lips. She'd returned his kiss in kind feeling like a woman dying of thirst, finally she was being given a drink of water and when they reached that point she knew Edward always retreated.
He didn't stop.
He pushed forward more and Bella felt the tingle deep in her toes and her belly as his fingers long and confident swept into the back of her hair and tightened, and then his tongue. Bella had almost felt her heart stop the moment his tongue had swept against her lip and then pushed into her mouth. The pleasure that had wavered across every inch of her, as he deepened the kiss, the very intoxicating taste of him. There was sweetness to his kiss that made her feel like she'd never grow tired of kissing him. She'd been a mess of hormones and joy as finally, finally Edward kissed her and showed her the kind of need she'd worried he'd never felt for her.
She'd been a fool though.
To not see until now, that it had all been just another layer of his need to protect her from him. His own fear and now he was letting part of it go, she'd given him something in her declaration and now he felt free to give her something more of himself without fear. Bella whimpered her heart beat hammering against her chest she felt as if she could hear it in her ears. As Edward slowed the pace of their kissing then resting his forehead against her own. She lay beneath him, his hand still tangled in the back of her hair as she panted lost for breath, she felt like she was a live wire ready to explode with just the closest of sparks near her.
"I've wanted to do that for so long" Edward whispered the boyish smile on his face as he rested there still, his long hard body lined up against her own as he braced his weight over her.
"I...I... that" Bella shook her head giggling softly.
Edward leant up to look down at her smiling widely and care free for the first time in what felt like far too long. They had both been so surrounded by such complications and to hear her giggle, to feel so free even now with the world around them coming to such horrible moments. Still while alone they could find that happiness, that place just for them.
"You've been holding back" Bella whispered her fingers twisting in the front of Edward's shirt, her lips were pouted perfectly and swollen from kissing. In that all too desirable way that made Edward want to suck on them, as he tried to resist that urge.
"Not anymore" Edward whispered looking down at Bella and there was a promise in those two simple words, too long he'd held himself back. He'd hidden parts of him for fear of his own insecurities, Alice had been right it was time to stop hiding and that meant all of him, he was after all a forever frozen seventeen year old boy.
"I love you too Bella. I know I don't say that nearly enough. It's true though, all those times when I've stopped our advancing it was my own hang ups, my fear and belief I was wrong that stopped us. I'm ready now, I want everything with you. I want eternity I want forever both of us like this loving each other, heart, body and soul" Edward brushed his lips once more against her own lips as Bella inhaled heavily against his lips humming in pleasure as Edward growled playfully, that earned peal of laughter.
They'd need to be careful to not draw attention to themselves from both Renee and Charlie in the house. It was so easy to become distracted with Bella. They certainly didn't need to be caught like this by Bella's parents Edward knew, any head way he'd been making with Charlie would be lost completely if he was to find them in bed together.
"It makes me really happy that you're willing to do that now. I know you don't think you're a good person, I know if I defended you now you'd likely use the things that have happened now as a way to show me you aren't" Bella said wrapping her arms around Edward's neck as he braced himself on his elbow his fingers tenderly tracing along her cheek and jaw.
"I won't lie to you and tell you it still doesn't hurt. It does, it hurts inside that this has been the result. I hoped that you'd both be able to accept each other. I know you wouldn't have done this if you had any choice. I've defended you both against each other but I know they'll never let us simply walk away now. We can't, so I can only ask you to defend yourself. I know it's asking a lot, I just hope you'll only fight if you have too. Don't go onto their land Edward, don't go looking for the war if you have to defend yourself I can accept that but I can't accept you just hunting them and killing them" Bella admitted weakly knowing that they had to talk about those things that caused them both so much discomfort and anger, she couldn't expect him to listen to her now. She just didn't want him to go to La Push and attack them. She knew that he was most likely still angry with what had happened to her, angry that they'd then killed Irina and hurt other's that he saw as friends even family in some degree.
"If I thought leaving would fix all our problems I'd go Bella. We can't though. Victoria has her army in Seattle that's our responsibility to stop. The pack, I know it may be hard for you to see but they aren't innocent Bella, I've come to see that they've hurt people. Killed people, by accident maybe. Then again I won't try and convince you my war against them is one of noble reason to defend the humans, I can't promise you anything Bella. I wish I could spare you this pain but now, the Denali want blood. I want it too, I can only apologise that my need for them gone will bring you pain" Edward whispered pressing his lips to her forehead softly sighing as he pressed his nose to her hair line inhaling her scent deeply, freesia and strawberry's.
"I'll try to understand. I know that you had to defend yourself against Jake and Paul. I know you did what you did to Leah to make them retreat so you could save the Denali" Bella said as Edward shifted them then moving onto his back and rolling Bella's body so she was curled up against him her head resting on his ever silent chest where his heart no longer beat.
"I don't want to scare you but... Billy and Sam have both made it clear they want to hurt you Bella. A human. They've completely dishonoured everything their previous shifters stood for, if they could see them now they'd stop them themselves" Edward told her, he did need Bella to understand that the lines had been drawn for her even if she didn't want to fully accept that. Both Billy and Sam had made threats or at least comments towards Bella deserving just as much punishment as he did for what had happened. Edward also knew he'd made a true enemy in Sam for what he'd done.
"I know" Bella sighed pressing her face into his chest more as if to hide her pain and confusion from him. As Edward tried to remain calm through her struggling his hand moving to stroke through her long hair.
"I guess it was silly of me to hope that this would all just go away and we'd be allowed to live out the remainder of our time in Forks without any more death" Bella said resting her chin on Edward's chest and looking up at his stoic and emotionless face concerned she'd upset him again.
"It's not silly to hope Bella" Edward reached forward swiping away one of her tears as it escaped past her eyelashes.
"Every day I hoped for you and it paid off. Some things just aren't within our grasp. I wish you had been with me when we first came to Forks. When we met the original pack, you'd understand why this was somewhat inevitable. The men who agreed to the treaty while distrusting of us respected our sacrifice for not feeding on humans. They also feared our power. They weren't hostiles or angry, they were all in control of themselves, they could hold a conversation with us without insulting us. It's the closest we could have ever hoped to have coexistence and it worked. Unfortunately these young men aren't them and those who should have helped guide them only aided them in making the wrong choices" Edward tried to explain to Bella, she understood what he meant too, as he spoke about his time when the Cullen family had first come to find the Quileute's.
She'd always hated how antagonistic the pack were, how everything they said was some poorly concealed threat or insult and none of them, not one of the Cullen's ever rose to the bait. There was of course the odd time they'd call them a dog or mutt, but not nearly to the vile things said by those she'd considered friends.
"You said the humans in charge didn't help them?" Bella asked wanting to understand more, wanting to be able to see all sides that Edward could see with his power. She knew he'd seen that the pack had hurt, even killed humans in the past he'd said that in the hospital when he'd been angry and Carlisle and Jasper had explained more later on after.
"You have to understand while the council believed the legend, they instantly believed we'd come to harm. Even though we'd never harmed a soul when we'd lived here before, even though the treaty had remained within their legends and ancients texts they still thought we would kill. When Sam shifted, they were happy, wanted him to attack or confront us straight away. Old Quil is the oldest member of the tribe and his father was a member of Ephraim's pack talked them down told them not to dishonour his father and their own ancestor's last word. Sam was also in no mind to start a war with a coven of vampires alone. As we both know the result of the whole ordeal of Sam, Leah and Emily love triangle. It resulted in Sam losing his temper and Emily being harmed. She was lucky he was so new. He barely knew what he was doing, so she managed to get away just enough before he'd swiped at her" Edward told Bella gently playing with her hair as she rested her head back on his chest listening to what he'd gathered from memories and placed together with the rest of his family. Before she'd always been unwilling to listen and now she knew it was the only way she could understand his feelings on why she should have never been around Jake. Edward's distrust of the pack and the lack of control they had.
"That should have warned them from the beginning. Imprinting is sacred, to kill a shifters imprint would severely hurt the wolf emotionally" Edward said and he knew that to be true. The entire imprint was an almost guardianship of the imprinted they literally felt they had to protect their imprinted with their life.
"Jake said the imprint is true love. That they have to be together, it breeds the stronger shifters carries on the gene" Bella said while Edward, shook his head in disagreement
"I'm sure he'd have explained it that way, especially when he'd hoped you'd be his. When a wolf imprints it ties the wolf to the imprinted. That doesn't mean they have to be together, it simply means they are tied together however the imprinted wants them to be. One of the boys has imprinted on a child, he has no desire to wait for her and be with her that would be considered wrong on any ethical and moral grounds. He'll be like a big brother to her, they won't be together. It's because of that issue that the whole Sam, Emily and Leah situation became so complicated. The truth in what he said is that it's shown that a wolf mating with its imprint ensures the bloodline continuing. Sam never wanted to leave Leah, however Sam was the only boy who had shifted. The council wanted the gene to live on, so they forced the two together. Emily and Sam. They of course with the bond of the imprint grew to love each other as more then friends but Sam would always love Leah. It's why there is still conflict about it. The tribe all but forced the situation, it didn't help that it was because Leah wasn't capable of having children that they refused to let Sam and Leah be together. That only became more concrete when Leah shifted, some of the men believe that Leah should have been born a boy and that was why she could shift" Edward explained as best he could the entire sordid tale of how the council had manipulated three confused teenagers with lies about what imprinting was to benefit the people and in the end hurt them all.
"So Sam wanted Leah but because she couldn't have children to ensure shifters in the future they lied to Sam about what imprinting meant to keep Emily and him together" Bella asked realising just what that meant, how sick and twisted that was of people that she'd respected, people who were Charlie's friend.
"Yes it's why Leah attacked Harry. She found out her own father's involvement and lost control. An imprint is special because it ties you to someone as their protector. Ephraim was imprinted to a young man in the tribe who he cared for as a son. The tribe have confused much of their own stories over time, things we could have explained had they wished to know" Edward explained as Bella looked up at Edward wide eyed shaking her head, this hadn't been what she'd been told about imprinting at all.
"Why would Jake say it was..." Bella stopped her question almost feeling the sickening feeling that she finally understood why her friend would tell her that imprinting was a form of true love. He'd known by then all the sordid details about what had happened between Sam, Emily and Leah even though he'd kept very tight lipped about it.
"Jake wanted you to believe that if he imprinted on you that it meant love because he already had feelings for you. He'd wanted you all along. He'd hoped to use the bond to make you fall for him like Emily and Sam. Like Paul and Rachel his sister. Jake didn't realise that the imprint only happens on those within the tribe bloodline. Charlie's cousin Molly may have married old Quil but you were never part of the tribe so never a true potential of ever being his imprint" Edward added as he sighed and moved his other hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, much of this had been things he'd wanted to tell Bella in the past when she'd been unwilling to listen to him.
"That's all so messed up. So much deceit and lies, that isn't it either you said that they've hurt people" Bella edged on wanting to know the truth behind all the secrets that Edward had seen in minds around him and what she'd until now refused to open her eyes too.
"Well Emily's injury was the first lie. Sam did well under circumstance but guilt from hurting his imprint, hurting the woman he loved, then loving another. He acted out hurt other's I'm not completely sure who. I've barely seen glimpses I know though from what I saw in Billy's mind that the more boys that shifted the more cover ups they'd had. Paul was the worst; he'd killed the most of them. But because Billy wanted his daughter and Paul to have children he'd refused to do anything but help hide his mistakes. Then when Jake started hurting other's he only forced more to help him. The council believed that it was okay for them to hide these acts, the shifters were far more important to the tribe then a few men and woman who were at the wrong place at the wrong time" Edward said and Bella shook her head as she lay on his chest.
She couldn't believe how they'd ever held themselves above the Cullen's when they'd been hurting people. Killing them even just because they couldn't calm themselves and shifted around humans. It seemed so unnecessary that if they'd just tried to learn to control themselves better it would have never become such a problem. The fact that the council had so manipulatively worked even the young shifters, into doing what they wanted for what they deemed the betterment of the tribe made her physically sick.
"It just seems all so wrong. That the council would just... forget about everything they claimed to stand for. They always went on about being the protectors of humans that you were the monsters. None of you are hiding bodies on a reservation though, or lying about supernatural bonds to keep people in place" Bella shook her head angrily, she was mad at Billy disgusted with him and all of the members of the council.
"They made poor choices Bella. Selfish choices we're all guilty of that in some way even I can recognise that, but I agree. Yes the council have had too much pull. Unfortunately now too much has been ingrained in the members of the pack, in the grand reality of it all none of that matters. I've broken the treaty and therefore we're at war, it doesn't matter to them what was done wrong to cause me to react I'm the one at fault and they want all of my family to pay" Edward told Bella stroking his hand to cup her chin as he leant down and brushed his lips against her own as Bella sighed.
"When you said that I wasn't safe at the reservation?" Bella asked needing to know how much of this information had been recent knowledge to Edward. She knew he'd have stepped in had he known about people dying, she was surprised that he hadn't told her about the imprinting lies the tribe had told.
"You weren't safe Bella. The more I tried to tell you or even Alice the more you refused to believe us. We hurt you, we left you and I will forever be sorry for that Bella you didn't trust me and I can understand why" Edward said his tone though while he spoke about being understanding held anger in it and Bella could hear it.
"I should have listened. He was my friend. I just... well I knew how he felt. I know that's wrong that I knew and continued my friendship" Bella rushed seeing the darkening of his eyes once again but for another reason.
"I was scared you'd leave. Scared you wouldn't stay and I didn't want to lose him too in case you did leave" Bella finally admitted shame filling her as she tried not to meet Edward's gaze.
"Would you have moved on with him?" Edward's tone was laced with such pain and hurt that it physically made Bella tremble; her being honest was hurting him.
"No" She shook her head adamantly. She'd taken advantage simply because she had needed a friend, but Jake would have never been a replacement. There would have been no replacement for Edward and what they'd had.
"I stood there on that border line every time you went there. Humiliated, by the constant thoughts of boys thinking of my mate, my reason for existing, being with your friend. Thinking of all the ways they'd seen Jake plan to seduce you. Thoughts from his own mind I had to listen to. You made me endure that every time you defended him. Every time you argued the reason to stay part of his life" Edward said it was clear now that they were touching upon the issues that had lingered from before this whole ordeal. The things that had lead to the events of the night she'd been attacked.
"I was wrong. I... I just didn't want to let go of him. I felt guilty, I'd hurt him by coming to you. He'd been there for me..." Bella was cut off.
"Yes he was there when I wasn't. But not for noble reason. While I was held up in an attic in Brazil wishing I could die, you had little Jake to make everything okay" Edward said with a harshness that made Bella stiffen.
"You're still angry. I know I deserve it but I can't change it Edward. I wish I could. I do anything to have never let this happen. Not him dying but to save you the pain I caused" Bella pleaded moving to him and trying to pull his body closer to hers.
"It was agony having to watch you go to him every time. To have a mate who for a moment I wasn't sure even loved me" Edward whispered closing his eyes and Bella shook her head eyes blurred as she tried to trail kisses along his face trying to erase the pain. She'd never known he'd felt that way. She'd not known he'd been so tormented by her friendship with Jake, she'd always believed he was just being overprotective. She'd never thought he'd doubted her love like she had his.
"Only you Edward. Only ever you. I thought he was my friend. I was stupid I should have listened, should have seen his intentions weren't to be friends. If he'd ever been my friend he'd have never tried to hurt you" Bella pressed her lips to the corner of his lips trying to bring him back to her, trying to awaken the passion of earlier to make him see just how completely he owned her.
"I love you" Edward whispered hoarsely trying to release a hurt that he'd always before pushed aside believing he deserved it but now seeing he'd not deserved to feel the way he had. The weight seeming to fall from him seeing that Bella was finally seeing his hurt over her actions, hoping they could move through this stronger now.
"I love you too Edward. I'll love you forever. I'll love you every day of my human life and then every day of my vampire one. Forever" Bella whispered as Edward finally returned the kiss as they pulled each other's bodies closer. It felt like hours passed between them then as they lay in each other's arms, slowly caressing at the slithers of exposed skin and sharing short kisses. Then longer kisses that melded into something that promised something much more intimate then anything they had ever shared. They tried to heal each other, Bella tried to fix the pain she'd inflict in the man she'd taken for granted and placed on a pedestal. A pedestal that viewed him as more of an unfeeling statue then a real person, she'd been neglectful of his feelings. She'd never do that again.
"You're tired and I'm keeping you up far too long with stories you shouldn't be hearing before you sleep, love" Edward finally said as he broke their shared kiss. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Bella snuggled in closer to his body even though she wasn't nearly ready to go to sleep yet, still wearing her clothes that she'd had from being discharged from the hospital.
"I feel like all I do is sleep" Bella said in a little frustrated sigh as she moved to sit up, Edward could only smile at her annoyance the whole angry kitten thought returning to his thoughts as he looked at her.
"Your body is healing love. It would be better that you rest as much as you can. I know the painkillers that Carlisle gave you have some side effects of drowsiness" Edward moved to sit up on Bella's bed resting his back against the head board, as Bella slipped off the bed and moving to her wardrobe grabbing a shirt to sleep in.
"I know I shouldn't complain but I'm already tired of just laying around in a bed. With everything that's going on I feel useless, not that I could offer any kind of help to anyone anyway" Bella sighed moving her hand up and pushing her wild untamed hair from Edward's hands tangling it, smiling slightly shyly at the memory as Edward watched her from her bed.
"How about tomorrow I take you to visit my family. You've never met the Deanli's before and while the circumstances aren't happy ones I'm sure they'd like to meet you" Edward offered knowing that she wouldn't be happy to just hideaway in her home while everything was happening. It would also ease his own concern to have her close by him and his family while so many threats lingered around them all.
"I'd like that" Bella nodded shifting a little before moving towards her door.
"I'll be back just need to get ready" She smiled and waved a little awkwardly as Edward watched her hop from one foot to the other and leave out of her bedroom door.
All while resisting the urge to tell her she didn't have to leave to change. While he may be ready to advance forward in their more physical sides of their relationship she was still healing and he still had far superior strength, which he'd need to ensure he didn't over use while in the throes of passion. He had no idea what to expect and how he'd react to those sides of what he wanted with Bella, he knew kissing her or making out as he'd heard from minds was one of his new favourite things to do. He was definitely still a seventeen year old in most ways.
Edward remained on Bella's bed while she changed. Bella though was slightly panicking as she looked at the stitching on her body when she'd removed her shirt. Finally seeing them completely in the mirror she felt sick, she was hideous and the idea that now Edward was finally ready to give her more like she'd asked. Now she was scared of what he'd think of her body. She tried to stop herself from getting too upset knowing Edward would notice as she pulled the baggy sleep shirt onto cover herself. She couldn't hide her face and some of the marks on her neck but Edward hadn't seemed to notice or he was doing an exceptional job of hiding any response, she just couldn't imagine how he'd ever find her attractive like this. She returned to her room to find him in exactly the same position as he was before she'd left, she'd never understand how they could remain so still. Maybe one day she'd see, Bella locked her bedroom door behind her moving towards her bed as Edward looked at her. His red eyes looking her over and she self consciously wondered if she'd picked a shirt that wasn't clean or something as he watched her a little more intently then she was used to even from Edward.
Edward was feeling his desire rise more, he wasn't sure if she'd simply done it intentionally or by accident but the lack of sleep pants. Gave Edward a more then healthy amount of skin revealed to him as Bella stood before him in just her sleep shirt. He couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from her legs. He couldn't help but wonder how Bella, who was barely a few inches taller than Alice seemed to have such long looking legs.
"Where are your sleeping bottoms?" Edward asked forcing his eyes to finally look up at Bella's face her cheeks looked pinker from her beautiful blush her teeth digging into her full bottom lip
"I'm more comfortable like this. If it makes you uncomfortable I can..." Bella stopped talking though as Edward continued looking at her then moving to sit on the edge of her bed crooking his finger at her calling her towards him.
"No. Don't. Stay just as you are" Edward swallowed against the build up of venom.
Edward had opened up a door now by allowing himself to be more open about his own desire and it seemed even just the thought of her bare legs, seemed too hard to hide his own desire. It wasn't like this was the first time he'd seen her legs, now though with his control gone. Or at least his need for control gone he felt wild and untamed, he felt more human now not trying to restrain himself all the time then he'd ever felt trying to remain in control. Bella moved towards him standing in front of Edward even though he was acting strange, she did gasp though surprised when she felt his cool large hand slide along the length of the back of her leg and then looked at him wide eyed as his second hand took claim of her other leg.
"What are you..." Bella went to ask him what he was doing but felt her tongue grow useless as he massaged his fingers into the back of her legs and she all but became jelly right there standing between his legs as Edward chuckled softly tilting his chin up and kissing her jaw.
"I'm just letting myself enjoy you a little" Edward said softly.
"I know I should have asked before touching. I've never understood the appeal when I've seen the thoughts in the minds of other's. I can certainly see the appeal in a set of legs now though" Edward said playfully as Bella's cheeks only heated more as Edward released one of her legs and shifted back to throw the cover back slightly. Lifting Bella around her hips and putting her onto the bed quickly as she held her hand over her mouth to stop the squeal from being heard by her parents. Edward placed another kiss on Bella's cheek as he positioned her under the covers and tried to tuck her in as Bella reached out to stop him.
"You aren't leaving are you" she asked suddenly worried that he'd leave her she was so happy to finally have him back, so excited at this new attitude about himself. She felt like he was being more himself then he'd ever allowed her to see before and it only made her love him more, seeing these moments where he was more like the seventeen year old he'd been frozen as.
"No love I didn't plan on leaving. I've missed being beside you at night. I've missed being allowed to hold you" Edward said moving his hand to caress her cheek smiling down at her as she rested back onto her pillows.
"Will you then?" Bella said in a whisper pulling back the cover as an invitation, though in the past they'd always had an unspoken agreement that Edward would lie above the covers with her it been something she'd never completely understood.
"Hold me. I don't care about you being too cold or too hard" she said knowing his excuses in the past that he'd given for keeping the cover between them as she slept.
Edward kicked off his shoes then moving to climb under the covers with Bella, it seemed humours that for all the nights they'd shared together they'd never been like this together. It was all worth it for the smile that it caused on Bella's face to Edward the moment he slipped into the bed and wrapped his arm around her middle pulling her body back to him. It didn't matter to him that he couldn't sleep that he'd simply stay there doing nothing but holding her. He'd thought for a moment days ago he'd never feel this pleasure ever again when her heart had slowed. Now as he lay curled up behind her, his chest against her back his hand softly threading through her hair as he stroked it back gently and he watched. Watched her breathing even out until those beautiful eyes he adored so much fluttered closed and she fell to sleep nestled close to his body. All his fears had washed away with the time he'd spent with her, they'd come back to each other and even though he'd done things he knew she'd never wanted and taken people from her life she'd cared about she still loved him.
It was a weight lifted from his shoulders as he accepted that they would love each other no matter what came between them, so that was how he remained through the night watching over her. Holding her and loving her through every soft sound that moved past her lips, every sigh or shift and he moved to accommodate her so she wasn't ever uncomfortable. Then during the early hours of the morning Edward finally rested his head back with Bella and closed his eyes, Edward closed his eyes and let himself fall into a meditative state, almost. The sounds that his enhanced hearing picked up finally faded away and then he listened to his other sense. The power he'd always denied. With the comfort and closeness of Bella he didn't feel scared and there Edward reached out, he let his mind channel his entire attention on his gift.
He listened to the dreams of humans all around, he heard the thoughts of his own family on his consciousness, and then he reached further, Edward reached out and he found himself hearing everything. Miles of land travelled with his mind jumping from mind to mind not looking for anything directly just seeing, finally letting himself see that he was capable of. Alice and Eleazer had both been right, even then his potential seemed never ending in his reach, it was scary and exciting to him at just how far he may be able to push his mind when he allowed himself to focus and listen. Even then as he reached out it felt different, his mind reading it felt like he could feel a tangible essence that stretched and accommodated to his will. There was something deeper in his own mind, something he'd not unlocked yet but he could feel it there. He'd need to practice.
Edward sighed happily his face pressed into Bella's hair and he inhaled her scent and kept her close to him and remained with his eyes closed. Savouring these moments, soon enough she'd never sleep again and they'd have no need for these intimate moments, he'd have to find other ways to keep her close like this and he believed he already had the solution to such a need.
In the Cullen home Alice finally saw a vision around the blackness that had taken claim of her gift since the first attack on her family and it was of her brother. Of him holding Bella in her sleep and for a moment she'd almost believed Edward was asleep too, with his eyes closed to the world with his face more relaxed then she'd ever seen him. He seemed peaceful and content and it brought a happy sound to her as she saw that he was finally becoming free of his own struggles. He was finally becoming the man she'd seen in her visions all those decades ago when she'd woken up to this world. She didn't know what the future held for them all right in this moment, with so many choices still needing to be made by so many outside of her family and even within it. One thing that was clear to her finally though, was that she believed Edward had finally became the man he was always meant too, now all they had to do was survive the threats and then. Just maybe they'd really have the family they'd all longed for with no longer needing to look over their shoulders for threats.
She believed in Edward, believed in him enough to have waited her whole existence for him to finally take his rightful place beside Bella as the leaders of their coven. She had never felt more rewarded as she did then seeing the man she loved as a brother free of the prison that had held him captive for so long.
