Chapter 26

The Curves

Faith is about eight inches taller than me and I am acutely aware of the difference as she closes the gap between us. She is taller and broader, and even in her current weakened state, I know she is far stronger than I could ever hope to be.

And now, unarmed and unclothed before her, I should feel helpless, insignificant.

But I don't.

I step to her, that last little distance, look up into her eyes and see her fear and her uncertainty. And wanting. And something more…

I feel the balance of the scales shifting. It settles somewhere in the heat between us.

How could I feel insignificant when this woman, this mighty warrior of a woman, looks at me so?

I take her hand and place it to my cheek. And sigh at the tender way she cups it. I reach up behind her neck and draw her lips down to mine, and she comes willingly to my kiss. There is a heat there that was absent last time our lips met.

My flesh is pressed against her fully clothed body. I feel the coolness of leather against my legs, and the chill graze of her studded belt against my belly. The contrast feels so erotic to me all of a sudden, like my display of sexuality is even more bold, more total, and that thought sends a wave of sensation through my limbs that culminates in me kissing her greedily and wantonly. God, I can smell my own arousal.

I back up, taking us to my bed, and her clothes are shed along the way. As I fall back, she follows, keeping control of her balance to where she is kneeling between my legs. I have unconsciously opened them to her, but now aware of this, I hook my feet behind her legs to help draw her closer. Because I want her close. I want her completely. I want her inside me.

She lowers herself down, hands either side of my head, and gazes at me with something like wonder.

"You are… just..." she says, and shakes her head at a thought. Her face is flushed already but it feels like a blush to me.

I don't want to talk. I don't have any connection to the stream of wisecracks and self deprecating comments flowing through my brain. Something else has caught me in its undertow. I pull myself up to her mouth and claim it, and am rewarded for the effort with a kiss that sets my body shaking with need.

Faith kisses me like an echo, need for need, heat for heat.

Then, oh, I feel her sex press down into mine and my mind distorts under a barrage of new sensations. Broader, deeper and I swear to every god and demonic force out there I will destroy the world of I never get to feel something like that again. That force manifests in me grasping her butt and grinding my pelvis upwards. She groans with me, and in silent agreement, together we find a repeatable movement to extend the bliss. Building it, building it and... and...and (excuse my dirty mouth but)...

fuuuuuuuuuu-uuuu-uuuuuu-uuuuuuuuckkkk!!!!!

And... what?

It still isn't enough for me. Though it flies beyond any sexual sensation I have had my body knows there is more to be had, and I find myself flipping Faith onto her back so I can find it. She goes willingly, drawing me down, urging me on. And I find something close to incredible as our bodies meet and our mouths follow.

In control now, I shift as I grind, this way and that, each rock of my hips changing the notes of the chords ringing through me, and, from the things she mutters and moans against my lips, through her too.

I slip into a surreal state upon the sensation, just for a moment, as if the pleasure was me at a concert and I had been lifted up, surfing the crowd, getting a clear view of the silent sky above it all.

Or, more like… I was self aware, a bubble of consciousness both encompassing and out of my body all at the same time.

And I felt perfect.

And then, I feel a shuddering and am drawn back to my lover as she trembles under me, then bucks, her head pressed to the pillows. Her limbs slacken but for a moment, and then she is back, hungry eyes and hungrier kisses.

And I am flipped myself, and cry out in delight as she grins down on me, that wanton leer back, but softened with satisfaction. I must kiss her. So I do. Or try… but she presses me back into the mattress with a hand and brings her lips down onto my right breast. And once again my body wants more, even more than the abundance it has been given.

It doesn't have to wait long, as fingers cup my groin, pressing a slow circle into the flesh that I had, up to this moment, feared to acknowledge.

I have to shut my eyes at the waves of sensation cause me to arch and buck. And I hear the amused breathy chuckle from somewhere down near my chest. It makes me laugh a deep throated laugh, before the new sensation shuts off that part of my brain entirely.

I feel her finger slip where nothing has ever gone before. And to my amazement, and confusion, I want it to keep going. Fuck, I want it to take up residence and invite some friends over and… ohhh. Oooooh. Hello. Welcome in.

Hold on, can't narrate. Just…

Give…

Me…

A…

Sec…

It isn't what I was expecting. I felt the first inklings of orgasm and braced myself for the coming explosion. But it didn't. And I found myself on this bizarre shore of sensation. The orgasm was no tsunami. No force of destruction that smashed onto the beach and sent me flying to my sleep. It was a wave though, a big wave that came towards me and yet broke before it hit, rolling back and sending the sea washing over me, only to rise as another, larger wave behind it. And those strange new tides were kind to me, reaching me over and over, carrying me deeper into new territory, whereby my metaphor completely breaks down and I find myself screaming out the loudest obscenity I have ever uttered.

I am boneless and buzzing from the tip of my head to the tag on my toes, which I must have now because I am dead. Dead. Dead. I have to be dead after that.

Right?


"You okay in there?" Faith says, clearly very amused.

"Lex isn't here right now, she is recalibrating her entire existence. Please leave a message and get back to me after the mind blowing orgasms."

Plural. In a row.

And to think I ever wanted to be a boy?

I can't open my eyes yet, I am not even sure I have any at this stage.

"Hi Lex, this is Faith. Just wanted to thank you for the awesome date. Wonderin' if your up for another… round… of… sex. (She kisses my neck with each pause) okay laters babe, call me." She adds a 'click' sound effect for good measure.

As strange as it is to me, I find the answer is actually yes. And that's just blowing my mind right now because I should be halfway to sleepsville right now. I smile and find her mouth with mine.

It's an easy enough thing to press her into her back and certainly no task to start trailing kisses down her body. And the attention I let my tongue give to her left breast? Well, it would be a grave injustice if it was not meted out equally to her right. A grave injustice indeed.

I am drawn to the scent of her sex. It's heady and delicious, and I can't help but kiss my way down. I mean, I have served well as the defender of justice so far…

And I feel puckered, uneven flesh under my kiss, and pull back when I realise that I am kissing her scar.

She shifts onto her elbows, looking down at me. Her face is serious and grim. I lean a little back and look at the scar.

It's actually two scars, running vertical, the upper one branching, possibly where the blade wall pulled or knocked free. Then I remember the knife that Faith had held to Willow's throat. Two blades with a gap in between. Buffy never gave me any of the details of their final fight. But I see now. She had stabbed Faith with her own knife.

I know that Buffy doesn't scar easily. The two bite marks on her neck that echo my very own being a glaring exception. The apostrophe scar on her thumb from where she foolishly poked at a mystical sword tip was the other.

I stroke the flesh with my fingers, finding it strangely cooler than the rest of her skin. Then I resume my kisses. I kiss the scars, kiss the soft belly around them and begin to travel lower...

She stops me, placing a hand to my chin and lifting it.

"Lexi. Can you like… uh… come up here."

I nod, and shift so I am laying at her side. Her head moves to rest on my shoulder, and I slide my arms around her.

"Thanks." She says, her voice small and weak again. I press a kiss to her head.

"If I tell you somethin'. Like… if I tell you somethin' will you keep it?"

"Barkeep's honor." I whisper.

"I did some bad things. Some real bad things." She says. "Things I can't ever take back."

"Who hasn't?" I say. Her hand comes to rest on my sternum, fingers spreading over my flesh, silky-smooth-rough.

"Listen. I… can I tell you a story? It's like it's stuck in my throat and if it ain't then it's in my head and I just… I want it out of me. I just…" she sighs and lightly draws her spread fingers down my chest.

"Maybe we should just stick to secrets."

"Maybe." She says. The hand becomes as a pen, and she traces words across my flesh. Her finger feels gentle and tender, but I feel the trembling.

"So, how's this story start?"

"I fell in love." She says. The hand stills and she slides it over me, as if to rub away what she has written. "With a straight girl."

"Ouch. What was she like?"

"On her good days? Amazing. Funny. Brave. Wicked sharp. First chick I met who could keep up with me, yunno?"

I did.

"And on her bad days?"

"She treated me like I was beneath her. An inconvenience, an imposter. She made me always feel like I wasn't good enough.

And her friends, I thought they liked me at first, but, I think she turned them against me, always making plans without me. And silly little love struck me, I just played along. Like some dumb love struck puppy dog.

"This chick. She had everything. Cool mom who didn't drink and actually gave a shit about her, big house, all the home cooked food she could want and… and the clothes this chick had; And the shoes? Wow.

"It's like I never saw her in the same get-up once. And she never knew how good she got it. Never.

"I just… she just always reminded me that I didn't deserve any of that."

She sits up, and at first i think she is going to get up, but instead she turns around, laying facing me on her belly, propping herself up on her elbows.

"The she kinda warmed to me. Guess I was rubbing some of my muck on her and she enjoyed playing in the dirt. I showed her how to loosen up. Be a bit wilder. And I felt that, maybe if I bought her a little more down into my world, she would notice me. And I think she did. Because one day, out of the blue, she kissed me. We were just fooling around, dancing, living it up. And she kissed me."

Faith looks up at me properly now.

"This make you uncomfortable? Me talking about other chicks?"

"No." I say, honestly. What made me uncomfortable is seeing the story from her side, and the way it was cracking and shifting about my memory of the events. But seeing her talking about Buffy didn't make me uncomfortable. It was hard to be around Buffy and not fall in love with her. "You sure you wanna talk about this stuff?"

She nods, her eyes glassy.

"One day, I go to kiss her and she gets angry at me. Tell's me it was over." She says, then pulls a face and changes her voice "Because it's wrong".

She sighs and shakes her head.

"So this girl, she lied all the time. I mean, double life kind of stuff. To me, to her friends. So, it turns out that she had this ex boyfriend who was real trouble. Real trouble. She lied to us all that he was back in town. And she was hiding him away, protecting him. So it turns out, I wasn't nothin' but an experiment to her. A toy to be discarded. Something to be ashamed of.

"So there I am, hurting all the more, stuck in this toxic… hole… and I couldn't find a hand hold."

She reaches for my hand and turns it over, idly looking at the stitches, and tape and plasters that pepper it.

"I meet this guy, older guy. And he gives me everything. A job. This great apartment. Playstation. Food. Everything. He gives me a feeling that I am worth something." She says. "And before ya say anythin' it weren't like that. He never touched me, never so much as looked at me like that. He was a real family man. He treated me like a daughter. Properly, like a daughter. It was nice."

I feel tears forming, but fight them back. This isn't about me. She just needs someone to listen. She needs this.

"I knew he was a bad guy. Into real dark, shady stuff. He got me to do his dirty work. Stuff I wouldn't even dream of, but, I was just so happy to… he had this amazin' smile that just lit you all up inside when you made him happy. And he was so goofy. So, so goofy."

"But… the stuff he asked me to do just got worse and worse. There was his…"

I grip her hand as best I can, and slide my other over the top.

"I killed someone, Lex." She says with tears in her eyes. "I killed this old, harmless guy… just straight up. How could I do that? How could I… how did I get there?"

I draw her up into a tight embrace, kissing her as she sobs.

"And I couldn't stop. I couldn't. And he was… I…"

"Shhhhhh." I say, and keep her wrapped up.

"No." She sniffs, pressing her head down on my collarbone, and drawing in a deep, ragged breath."

"This girl, the chick I was crazy about, she tried to stop me. She came over to my place with a knife and she was gonna kill me."

"Faith, please."

"And I let her, Lexi. I could have easily stopped her, but I just got to the end and I thought… okay, do it. Kill me. And I let her."

"And now I am here and he is dead, and I have nothing and I really, really wish she finished me off. Lexi, it hurts so, so much and I just wish she had finished me off".

I hold her until every last tear she has has bled out of her.