Chapter 27

Like, Totally Dealing

The morning is cold, and it takes me a little while to pry myself from the warmth of our bed. Faith was attached to me like a limpet all night, hot breath flowing across my neck as she held onto me. Her sleep was restless, but deep. I drifted off at some stage, I guess, but I don't recall any dreams. Sorry.

I am dragged out of my cocoon, begrudgingly, by my bladder. And with great care I peel back Faith's fingers one my one, and free myself.

Ablutions done, I set about binning the remains of our dinner and preparing the heartiest breakfast I know how. I am on my second cup of coffee before I notice Faith sitting at the end of the bed, still naked, hands together resting on her knees.

"Do I scare you?" She says.

"Sometimes." I say.

"Do you want me to go."

"No."

"I wasn't lying. Last night. I have never lied to you."

"I know. And I have never lied to you."

"I am a murderer." She says, flatly.

"Yes." I say, biting into the triangle of buttered toast. "You hungry?"

Faith stands, shakily, and growls at herself. Her fingers graze the wall as she makes her way over.

"Don't you care?"

"I do."

"About what I did?"

"Yeah. It's a big deal. But it doesn't change whatever this is. The agreement between us."

"How can it not?"

I stay silent, and finish frying the bacon. Faith sits down.

"So that's it? I tell you I deliberately killed someone and you are cool with that?"

"Lemme ask you this. Usual rules, okay?"

"Okay."

"If I told you the same thing, that I had killed someone. How would you feel?"

"Wouldn't change nuthin'." she says. "Have you?"

"Monsters count?"

"Not to me."

"Then no." I said. "You ever gonna do it again? Kill someone?"

"No. Never. Not unless it's them or me." She says "or someone I care about." She looks at me as she says this.

I sit down and start eating. Faith watches me, and then looks down at her plate.

"What is all this?

"Full English breakfast." Something like what Gile's had fed me back when I arrived at his door, pleading for help. "You said you had a high metabolism last night. Figured this would be what you need."

Faith takes a bite and smiles awkwardly.

"And she cooks bacon just how I like it. Figures."

"Faith." I say, thinking about how I want to put this. "I want to change our deal."

"You do want me to go."

"No. That's just it. I want you to stay. Not just until you are better, I want…" I rub my face and let out a long tired breath. "I want to help you get back to who you were before that story you told me."

"I can't undo it." She says. "And I can't stay. She will find me, eventually." She says. I nod, defeated. I can't think of a path through the maze of secrets that doesn't burst this little romantic, domestic bubble. It would explode. Spectacularly. I play it back and forth, but have to face facts. Even if I spoke to her, Faith and Buffy's relationship was beyond fixing.

Hell, I am not sure even Buffy and my relationship is fixable. So I let another sigh free and face facts.

"Hey. I get it." I say. "And I knew you would have to… I promised you uncomplicated, and I stick to my promises. You saved me. I saved you. And this… thing between us stays uncomplicated." I return to my breakfast. "But, you aren't out of the woods yet, so eat up and take your morning dose, okay. And be here when I get back after work tonight. Because while you are here, I really, really want some more of that amazing sex."

She laughs, despite herself. Her cheek apples red and shining from tears.

"Deals a deal." She says. She drinks from her mug. "Uncomplicated."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"Cool."


Round two happens as I am showering. I am under the hot stream and next thing I know, Faith has joined me.

Continuous hot water for the win

Round three happens after my legs are too jellified for me to stand anymore, and after a good mutual toweling off, we manage to get to the bed. Mostly. I mean, it kinda wandered around the surfaces on the way to- but the majority of the experience was on the bed.

And in that post sex haze, I am laying draped over Faith's belly across the matress as we both pant for air.

"This wasn't part of the deal, Faith. You save me. I save you, and at no stage did we agree on you killing me with orgasms." I say, breathless and very much sated. Finally.

"You can talk, what are you? Did you go to a Catholic school or something?"

"What the hell has that have to do with anything?"

"Us Catholic girls hafta play catchup for all that repression." She places her hands together in humble prayer. "Dontcha Know?"

"You? YOU?"

"No lies." She says, "Irish Catholic. Non practicing, obviously. "

I slump down, stunned at the revelation. I slowly catch my breath, and the sensation returns to my legs. My… what's between my legs feels sore in a strangely pleasant way. It's not uncomfortable, just… noticeable. I hope I can stand up at the bar tonight is all I am saying.

"You ever been with a girl before?" Faith says, her fingers toying with my hair.

"Yeah. One. You?" You.

"None." Faith says. My dubious face is back, which she replies to with a raised brow. "Truth or silence. That's the deal."

"Huh." I say. "Color me surprised."

"Always wanted to. Never got around to it. So you're my first." She says, and pecks my cheek.

"Do I get a medal?" I say, to which she chuckles against neck. "Gold. No, platinum. Something tasteful, but huge. Or perhaps a little brass plaque I can mount on my bed."

"Weird, I figured a hot bar chick like you would be drowning in pussy."

"First, that metaphor? Just no. Second, you underestimate the power of my aloofness and sour demeanor."

"What about guys? Any experience in guys?" I think about that question for a moment. Technically a lot of experience with one. Kinda. Huh. But Faith has taken my silence in light of our deal. She rolls onto her back, with hum.

"You?" I ask.

She remains silent.

"Faith, can I ask? How do you see yourself. Like, gay or bisexual or…"

"Why?"

"Just trying to figure things out myself. I mean, I like girls. I know that, but it gets fuzzy at the edges when I think about some guys."

"Can't help ya Lex. It's hella confusing" She sighs. "See, I dig guys and girls just the same. Alway have. But, never really fell for a guy. Never could. I just think of being with a guy for more than the time it takes to get me off and I get all… weird about it. Like I can't breathe. But girls? That's different. I fall for girls. I fall way hard. Waaaaay hard" She sighs, rubbing her fingers idly across her belly. "So I ain't gay, right? Cause I find guys hot. See? Hella confusing."

"Good thing we are keeping this uncomplicated then. Isn't it?"

"Mmm hmmm" she says. "like, totally."

"Yep."


Sandy is back at the bar tonight, serving customers with a firm, calm stare and her shoulder squarer, stronger. I notice the large silver cross on a leather thong that sits upon her cleavage. She meets my eye as she pours, and gives me a respectful nod and a smile.

I grin and return to walking the floor, gathering up the empties.

It's fairly busy but the music tonight is chill and meaningful and everyone is swaying about, feeling feels and sipping their drinks slow.

Maggie has taken over a quiet booth and is tapping away at her shiny new laptop. I balance the stack of empties on the table and pull up next to her.

"Stevie Nix she is not." She mutters without looking up. A hand waves towards the angsty singer/songwriter on stage "Sings of pain but she clearly hasn't found her Buckingham yet."

"Give her time. And a readily available supply of cocaine. And maybe your ex husband." A smile is shot my way.

"Need something?"

"Her name's Faith." I say. Maggie slaps the laptop shut with both hands and swivels to face me. Glasses tipped and ready. "And we met in highschool…"