A/N Hey everyone, I hope all of you are doing well I wanted to get this chapter up last week but there seemed to be problems with the site and so I decided to keep this chapter until I was sure you'd all get this. I did want to say thank you all once again we've hit and gone past five hundred reviews. It felt like only a few chapters ago I was telling you all how amazing it was to hit two hundred and there you all go blowing me away with even more support. You guys really are amazing and it's always great to read what you all think even when it's things that haven't met exactly what you wanted. I have to admit seeing how I've been able to turn all of you against the pack has been very amusing for me, perhaps I'm evil but seeing that no mercy and unforgiving hatred makes me laugh. I was never a big fan of the pack and Jacob and it was why I warned all those who were fans of the pack that this story may not be for them. Seeing as I've slowly turned you against not only the pack but characters that are adored and even loved is very cool, that you are all so deeply immersed in this story that you are seeing characters we all know in a different light under my own control. I know many of you were shocked by the death of Carlisle and I know many of you weren't or wanted to hope it wouldn't happen I can only say that in times of war there are casualties on both sides. Carlisle even though older and in most respects a good man was misguided and held onto his beliefs where he needed to change. If you all take away anything from my story it's that the idea of never being able to change leaves you vulnerable. The old words adapt or die were very much in mind during the writing of this story. I'd like to say things are going to get easier for you but I've got some sharp turns coming guys so hold in there with me, the road isn't getting any smoother...

Enjoy :)

RED DAWN

SUMMARY: Edward had always warned Bella that the pack were dangerous. Hostile, volatile and aggressive in nature. She ignored him, testing even Edward's own vampire instinct by staying friends with his enemy, Jacob. One event will change them all, Bella never truly understood the supernatural world. Didn't understand the aggression that lay dormant even in her controlled mate until it was too late. Warning: Violence and Character death.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the Characters.


Chapter Nineteen

"We must have been on the outer skirts of Romania when we crossed them. This side of the world they're all but none existent but in Europe and some isolated areas in Asia they still exist. We'd had no idea and then that bloody almighty roar. Sounded like some kind of demon had crawled up from hell itself" Xavier continued as he leant forward talking amongst the other's who had remained downstairs once Edward had arrived.

Bella had been left with the rest of her family while Edward had gone to join both Jasper and Rosalie. No other's had gone to follow Edward once he'd arrived but it was clear there had been some kind of verbal spat between Edward and Rosalie which had made Emmet flinch towards the stairs only to be stopped by both Kate and Tanya. The two sisters had taken to guarding that staircase, whatever it was that was being said or done upstairs.

Edward had made it clear no one was to interrupt them.

Bella had been curious but she'd assumed and trusted that he was doing everything he could to help Esme. Bella had been scared, that her return to the Cullen house would have been welcomed by the sounds of Esme's cries. The pleading screams, that she'd heard before Xavier and Rochelle had decided to go find Edward, were still ringing in her ears. The hysterical yelling as Esme had all but forced Kate and Tanya to manhandle her towards the house under Edward's orders. Esme's screaming of hate towards Edward had been the deciding factor on trusting both Xavier and Rochelle. She couldn't bear to think how Edward had handled hearing such things from Esme. A woman he'd seen for many years as his mother, even if she said it only in grief she knew it would still hurt him.

He'd seemed guarded though, even when he'd seen his old friend he'd been very much held tightly. Once again, Bella found herself angered by Jasper's advice and guidance of forcing away their grief until later. It wasn't how she believed Edward or any of her family should deal with the devastating loss of Carlisle.

"We'd decided to keep travelling through, but I'd been curious by the sound and Edward had told me that only death would meet us there" Xavier continued his story, he'd taken instantly to trying to distract the family that remained downstairs with stories of his time with Edward.

Stories that Bella, was confident she wasn't the only one to be unaware of. It seemed that while it had been Edward's rebellious period he'd never shared, even with his siblings what those years had entailed for him. Xavier wasn't one to shy away from it however, Bella was thankful for his subtle attempts at helping keeping the families thoughts from what had happened.

"Children of the Moon" Xavier said finally.

It was no secret that it seemed the charismatic British vampire could tell a story, he'd garnered most of the attention from all in the room. His usually silent mate Rochelle, now sat beside him her hand pressed into his back as he spoke of stories she'd listened to hundreds of times now. Even despite the circumstance it pleased her greatly, that sparkle that had been awoken in her mate's eyes. She'd always humoured his story telling of his time travelling with the guilt ridden vampire that hunted the evil of the human world. Through each of his stories it had been clear that Xavier from the moment that Edward had saved his life had looked to the young man as a somewhat hero. Xavier had always been happy to sing the glory of this strange man, Rochelle was still unsure of this Edward but she would stand with her mate. She knew this had meant much to him being called upon by the man who saved his life, like he would finally be able to show his worth to the man who had given him life.

It was peculiar but she didn't question it, her mate was a different man then many of the vampire kind that she'd ever known.

"I had thought Caius had them all destroyed in Europe" Eleazer spoke out then while Bella looked between her family and that of the Denali slightly confused. She'd never heard the term children of the moon before.

"You can't destroy something like that completely. While it's true the Volturi did a real stand up job of dwindling the numbers you're talking about a creature that for most parts doesn't exist but for more than a night a month." Bella was beginning to believe that she understood what they were talking about but still wasn't completely sure what it was. She could see that all of the Cullen's seemed in the know of what Xavier was talking about, Eleazer seemed extremely intrigued by Xavier's story.

"Children of the Moon?" Bella spoke up.

"Ah I forget your knew to the terms our world carries. I guessed our boy Eddie would have shared" Xavier turned to Bella with an easy smile.

"Werewolves" Carmen said then for Bella as Xavier pointed over his shoulder with a grin and pointing his other finger to his nose making a sound of a game show buzzer.

"I thought that the..." Bella found herself stopping as she was about to make mention of the La Push tribe and the pack, she'd always just assumed they were what was considered a werewolf. Even some of the pack themselves referred to themselves in that manor, Bella didn't feel right saying their name now though in Esme's house especially after what they had done. It made her feel that same familiar tightness over her chest and eyes sting.

"The pack, aren't true werewolves. They're shifters. Something else" Alice said as she moved closer to Bella's side and taking her hand into her own, the mood shifting instantly in the room.

"Good news at that from what I'm hearing too" Xavier said butting back in trying to cut the tension away.

"Why would you say that?" Eleazer said with a furrowed brow, his tone was light and truly showing interest in whatever it was that Xavier had to say. Bella had noticed the curious glances that Eleazer had been fixing on the two newcomers, his gaze lingering more so on Rochelle. She secretly mused and wondered if he'd used his gift yet or if he was just naturally suspecting that one of them was talented in some way, Bella having already seen Rochelle's gift work. Though Edward hadn't seemed overly fooled by it, Jasper had been though or perhaps he'd been too focussed on keeping a red eyed male from Bella first to concern himself with anyone he may not have seen. Edward had addressed it instantly.

"You've never come across one in person then" Xavier said matter of fact, which Eleazer agreed to the statement and Xavier chuckled darkly. Bella was still very much interested in the story that Xavier had been sharing of his and Edward's time travelling through Europe, she wondered why he'd never made mention of crossing one of these Children of the Moon.

"Well as I said Edward wanted to keep moving. Seemed pretty damn adamant that if we didn't keep going we might not survive the night. I'm a curious guy, couldn't help myself. So I started moving towards the sound, Edward while bitching the whole way followed. Tell you seeing them, watching them change it made even me feel scared. Not much in this world I haven't seen now, but watching a human make the change to a true child of the moon is awful. It's painful, it's slow and they suffer. They don't call it a curse for no reason. You can hear every bone break and muscle rip as they undergo it. Then once it's over, they aren't human anymore. Edward could only see basic thought images, said it was how he'd imagine an animal would actually think. The second those things stopped the change they caught onto our scents. Two large children of the moon had to have stood both of them about eight feet tall on their hind legs, looked more like monsters then wolves. They started at us. Edward barely shoved me out of the way as one came through the tree line." Xavier said and while his eyes were wide with his story and the images that the night brought back to him there was an air of fear to his tone. Bella found herself grateful she'd never known of these creatures and that they weren't something that existed in this part of the world.

"They hunted you?" Emmet asked finally breaking his own silence since his attempt to move up stairs to stop whatever argument Rose and Edward were likely having earlier.

"Boy, did they. We were lucky, Edward was furious with me. We used everything we had, jumping to put large distances between us and using high ground and trees to submerge ourselves. They're faster than any vampire I've seen even Edward couldn't keep clear ahead of them. Strong as a fucking train too. I tried to take a swipe at one when it got to close smacked me clear fifty feet" Xavier shook his head with a chuckle though Rochelle however did not look amused by his story of being harmed by a child of the moon.

"Fascinating. Well you and Edward clearly got away from the two of them. Very, fascinating. Caius still to this day is terrified of them. It was why he and Aro put together the plans to have their kind destroyed" Eleazer sighed shaking his head with a hint of admiration of what Xavier had seen during his time travelling the world.

"Not as fascinating as speaking to the poor guys after the next morning. Chased us clear into Russia they did and come morning Edward stopped us and then turned right back around. He'd seen that they were making the change back in their thoughts and we'd thought to end them then while they were weak" Xavier said this time Bella noticed the strange look that Carmen and Eleazer shared at his comment on Edward deciding to end the children of the moon that had hunted them, a look of concern.

"You destroyed them once they had changed back to humans?" Carmen spoke this time.

"No. My mate and Edward allowed those men chance to walk away" Rochelle spoke up having seen the look the two shared. She knew the way of these vampires was strange. She'd expected that her mate Xavier and Edward would have killed those men when she'd first heard the story, she wouldn't have been concerned had he decided to kill creatures that had hunted them.

"We had no idea why they hunted us. Edward saw from the moment we found them they didn't remember. They remember flashes but barely anything, when they'd seen us. They knew what we were expected we'd kill them. I'd been ready too. Something like that you don't give it a second chance to come hunt you. Edward had said they were innocent. At least as men they were innocent. He couldn't punish men for the acts of a curse they couldn't control, any deaths they had caused he couldn't punish them for because they had no idea. They'd purposely placed themselves so far away from life to at least prevent accidents. Edward respected that, we went our separate ways" Xavier said and Bella couldn't help but wonder if Edward had seen in them something of himself. During that time when he'd truly believed he was a monster had he spared those children of the moon hoping one day he'd be spared for his actions because of his monster?

"It was why the Volturi hunted them so thoroughly. Especially after Caius almost meeting his end at the hands of one of these creatures. On the full moon they are stronger and faster than any one vampire. It's why they were hunted down in groups and often during those times when outside of a full moon. It's hard to track a child of the moon while they are human but not impossible" Eleazer said while filling in for some of the questions that seemed to have been predicted by the once guard of the Volturi. While Eleazer had always been intrigued by other creatures that were part of the supernatural world he'd been fortunately sparred from hunting down Children of the Moon. His gift had saved him from that duty, it might have also saved his life. He'd lost many friends due to the hunting and destroying of the true werewolves.

Rosalie still stood across from Edward glaring at him, her mind still throwing hurled insults in his direction he didn't care what her opinion was of him. Edward only cared about keeping Esme in any type of comfort he could offer, he'd heard thoughts like these before when Rosalie didn't agree with something. He could deal with that, he didn't want Esme to have to deal with the pain that she was suffering. Edward had returned and made it clear that no one was to interfere, he'd not had the heart to refuse Rose her place. Perhaps on some mental level he'd known she'd protest and there in he'd been welcoming of her presence simply for her to play devil's advocate against his choices. To challenge him when he doubted anyone else would at this time, Jasper was sat in the chair to Esme's left.

He looked physically in pain, his eyes were slightly glazed his hand extended and holding Esme's wrist. Using the connection of touch to better channel his gift, Edward had not wanted to do this to either of them but he'd had no choice. At least no choice he could think that would save his mother her pain.

"If you can't take it away Jasper I want her to feel nothing at all. Do you understand me brother, I want her to feel absent of anything" Edward had said in his firm tone, Jasper looking to Edward concerned. Both knew that while he'd been using his ability to try and sooth the pain Esme was in he'd by no means used the full force of his ability. Jasper very rarely went to those degrees of his gift. Feeling detached himself from the reality he was surrounded by in going that deep into manipulating ones emotions, what Edward was asking would take more focus then he'd exerted in decades before.

"This is wrong. You'd turn her into a shell to save yourself facing her anger towards you" Rose snarled then forcing herself into the conversation that her brothers shared.

"Silence" Edward spat back at her in a growl.

"No. You think because Jasper and Alice see you as a leader I'm just going to do as you say. This is wrong Edward. Taking it all away from her is wrong. What do you expect to do, make Jasper keep her empty for eternity? She has to deal with this. Face it so she can move past this pain" Rose argued and Edward refused to listen to her because he didn't believe there was any place in which one could move past the loss of their mate, eternity was a punishment when faced with it alone. He knew that.

"There is no moving past this Rosalie" Edward snarled which only made the whimpering inside of Esme's bedroom deepen, Edward looking to Jasper and nodding firmly.

Jasper moved towards the bedroom then looking grime at the idea of what he was to do, Rose moved to stop Jasper but found herself restrained forcefully against the adjacent wall. Edward gripping both of her arms to her sides, and forcing himself there in her very view so she could not see into the room. He could hear the moment Emmet realised what he was doing. Then saw the second Kate and Tanya made it clear that they'd put him down before letting him come to interfere, both woman angered enough and ready to follow Edward's earlier instructions. Emmet would be angry at him but Edward had no intentions of harming his sister, even as her mind flinched at his force and the memories of the newborn ripping those arms that now Edward held from her body.

It rattled Rose how still she was carrying that fear, even while knowing her brother Edward wouldn't try to destroy her. Edward while he knew was wrong in this could only think of this way to talk with Esme without her grief being her main response, Edward held Rose in place until he heard the detached sounds of Jaspers mind telling him it was done. Edward seeing the almost emptiness of Esme's mind as she began to only see in images. The ceiling above her the only thing her mind seemed to be able to focus on in that moment.

"Ask me Rose. Ask me why there is no moving past this?" Edward said calmly even as he kept Rose pressed back against the wall looking into her eyes. Fiery and determined still even when she'd moments before been rocked by the shock and fear of having her limbs detached again.

"You're a selfish asshole" Rose spat angrily shaking her head as Edward released her grip. Pushing her hands away from him as if disgusted by her very sight then as he turned his back on her.

"You've never been faced with losing Emmet. You've never felt that fear. The despair. Once upon a time my sister selfishly told me my mate had died without even thinking of the consequences of such a thing being said without care. It drove me to wanting to die. Drove me to seek out my destruction. I had no proof that her words were true but hearing it alone made my choice" Edward paused in the doorway of Esme and Carlisle's once master bedroom, then turning to look behind him as the words hit home with Rosalie.

"Esme has seen he's gone Rose. Our mother knows there is no hope that he will come back to her. I'm selfish to want to take away her pain. You call me selfish but at least call me selfish for the right reasons. I'm selfish because I cannot bear the thought of seeing her plans for her death over and over again. The second her feelings come back all she will want is her end Rosalie. Are you ready to give her what she most wants now?" Edward asked pointedly seeing that his words were sitting heavy on Rosalie now as she realised what it was Edward was seeing in Esme's thoughts.

"She wants to die?" Rose said weakly looking at Edward her eyes feeling the sting of venom in them as if wanting to cry but being incapable, the curse of being what they were.

"From the moment I walked back into this house it's all she's asked for. Every second since I have arrived she has pleaded with me in her mind for mercy. For me to give her the escape I myself begged for when faced with a life without Bella. She's asked for my permission to be destroyed. What do I tell her Rosalie? How do I tell her what to do when either way it breaks our family? I force her to live and she will be a shell of her former self. If I allow her destruction our family may never recover" Edward finished finally glad that in the depths of numbness that Jasper had Esme wrapped around she seemed completely unaware of anything that had been said outside of her room. So deeply encased was she in the full power of Jaspers gift she seemed almost like in a drug haze that human minds experience. Edward however hadn't expected how deeply it would affect Jasper himself while using his power to this degree.

The four of them had then since remained silent, sitting together in the room even with Rosalie's somewhat understanding of Edward's reasons she still wasn't okay with it. Even more so with each passing moment and the effect it had on Jasper, Edward was trying to ignore it and he felt terrible for pushing Jasper's feelings aside to help his mother. He'd never claimed not to be selfish, his desire to help Esme would hold over Jasper's own sake. He'd one day have to apologise for his abuse of Jasper's gift though he doubted his brother would ever expect such a thing to happen. Jasper had both understood and agreed to this, he'd wanted to help especially when Edward had gifted him the freedom to mourn away from the family for Carlisle's death. Edward continued to stay beside Esme his hand clutching one of her own while tenderly stroking her hair back and whispering to her, trying to reach her in her forced numbness. Trying to make her see that she did not want to die, his attempt at saving her life came from both a selfish place and from a place of love.

"This can't continue Edward. You are draining Jasper. No matter what you say it will do nothing to change anything. You can't reach her when she's like that" Rose sighed aggravated, even though she'd understood the depths of Edward's choices she still couldn't agree to what he was doing.

"I'm fine Rose. Edward keep trying" Jasper whispered weakly.

"Keep trying what?" Rose said and Edward would have been angry at Jasper's slip had he not understood his brother's growing weakness from pushing his own ability. Decades of holding himself back from the true depths of his own power were now punishing him for trying to tap back into it. Edward understood this that Jasper going to these levels was not only mentally taxing of his ability, but also brought back memories of a time he would forget if he was allowed the choice.

"No" Rose said as she looked at Edward wide eyed seeing what it was, putting together the pieces of what it was that Edward may be trying while Jasper numbed Esme of all feeling.

"You sick monster" Rose snarled standing up as Edward broke contact with Esme and standing to face off with Rose should she decide to lunge for him it wouldn't be the first time her anger towards him became something physical.

"I had no choice but to try. We'll lose her if we don't find a way to ease her pain. Carlisle wouldn't want her to suffer" Edward shook his head his misguided attempt to save Esme, while it came from a good place. From a place of love it was also a deeply disturbing use of his new growing gift, one he and Jasper had only briefly talked over through Jasper's thoughts when he'd first returned to find Esme so deeply grief stricken.

The two had believed with their joined gifts they might very well be able to ease her pain and in there, be able to take away her need for destruction. Neither had wanted to lose her, hadn't wanted the family to lose another member of the family. They'd accepted that what they were doing was extremely wrong but was an attempt to save Esme from a death she wanted.

"Carlisle wouldn't want you brainwashing her. You don't even have control of it, you'd use her like some kind of lab rat." Rose refused stepping between Edward and Esme then and reaching to slap away Jasper's grip the evidence of his own mental fatigue showing as his hand simply slipped away and he huffed out audibly in a sigh.

"What do you suggest then Rosalie. Do you think that we just let her get past it? Let her try and heal? That isn't how it works!" Edward snarled his growing irritation and then seeing as Esme's emotions flooded back to her fast and unforgiving as she sobbed loudly and Jasper looked to Edward apologetically.

Edward shook his head when Jasper asked mentally if he should continue. He'd pushed Jasper too much, he knew he'd been wrong but he'd wanted to find a way to protect Esme. He however didn't like how Rosalie didn't see what the reality of this situation was, his sister who had suffered as a human but had never experienced the level of emotional pain that Esme was now suffering.

"Please...Edward please. Let me go. He's gone I can't be away from him let me go. I don't want this life without him"

Edward cringed back away from Esme's pleading thoughts taking a large step away from her bed as Esme turned to look towards Edward her voice croaking out through her wails. Reaching for him as Rose sat beside her and shook her head angrily, his sister however couldn't see that still Esme pleaded for death. That as Rose tried to comfort her all Esme saw was Carlisle's lifeless head, that all Esme saw was the distant little purple smoke rising into the sky and how her only hope was to join him. That the belief that she'd be alone forever, unless she found him in the afterlife, once again struggling to move. So grief stricken was she that she seemed almost physically as weak as any human in Rose's arms then and it only twisted in Edward's stomach more. How vulnerable she was and how he'd looked to take advantage of her, that while his plan had been to help her it had also been so deeply manipulative.

"I think you should go" Rosalie said then firmly her mind made up that for all the times Edward had helped them she wasn't about to allow his solutions to place Esme at risk. She knew his desire came from trying to help her but she couldn't believe he'd go to such lengths, Rose believed he needed a moment to really get a hold of himself. Jasper too if he'd honestly believed this was a solution to helping Esme, the both of them were clearly not thinking straight.

"Both of you. I'll take care of her. We won't use any gifts on her unless she asks for that" Rose said making her stance completely known as Edward moved to Jasper but he shook his head standing upright and refusing any help. While mentally he felt like he'd gone through nine rounds his body wasn't tired, though the idea of hunting wasn't unappealing.

"She'll need Jasper. You think you understand Rose but you don't. You don't understand because you don't see as Jasper and I do. You've also never faced this." Edward said and while he was willing to back down now realising how wrong he and Jasper had been to attempt forcing his thoughts to Esme's manipulated emotional mind to help her survive this. He knew that Rose was by no means in possession of the gifts or ability to help Esme, all while they talked Esme continued to cry, only whimpering between stuttered breathing and wailed out whimpers. Her mind still screaming at Edward, still calling to him.

"No Edward. You have to help me. He's gone forever torn apart and burned. My Carlisle gone forever, all alone. He's alone Edward you have to help me. End this please"

Edward swallowed against his venom that filled his mouth at the rage that her begging created in him, rage at those who had done this too her. That the pack had taken his father from him and shattered his mother, that now his own sister believed him a monster for trying to find a solution to easing her suffering. Edward didn't cower under Rosalie's glare as he moved towards Esme pressing his lips against her forehead tenderly and stroking her face softly. He could speak no words that would give her any peace and he couldn't find the strength to say anything as she continued to plead with him for mercy. Pleaded with him in her mind for an escape, she had only learnt of her mates death hours ago and yet he knew this would only get worse. That her desperation and pain would only distort her further until she was a hollow shell, the only fortunate thing had been that her anger had died away. She'd at first directed her rage at Edward and he'd been willing to accept any blame she may have placed upon him, he had been surprised she'd not once thought of killing the pack.

When all his mind could focus on was the thought of the heads of wolves on the ends of pikes, she thought of only Carlisle alone without her by his side. She believed him crossed over, believed him in some kind of limbo or other side waiting for her. Now the only thing she feared was being forced to live without him. Yet he couldn't give her what she wanted, even as she reminded him of his own desire for death when he'd believed Bella gone he selfishly found himself wanting to cling onto his mother. If he could keep her alive somehow he'd keep a part of his father breathing, Edward didn't know who to turn to for guidance now.

"I won't be far. Whatever you may think of me... She is my mother and I would do anything to save her this" Edward said finally taking one hard look at Rose before it faltering at the sight of Esme curled into Rose tight in a ball trembling around her tearless cries. Edward exited the room then Jasper waiting for him in the hallway.

"It didn't work?" Jasper asked but both already knew the answer, it hadn't come to him. Whatever he'd expected it hadn't worked, he'd pushed but sensed nothing.

"I couldn't get a grasp for it. I've seen in Kate's own thoughts how she feels this presence of something when she forces it out from her body. I'd believed I could do that, if I focused on Esme's mind and then pushed my thoughts. All but willed them to her, but nothing. A poor attempt anyway, we were wrong to do that to her, Rose is right in that regard" Edward reached up pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation as he turned and buried his arm into the brick wall across from him snarling in anger as Jasper moved to him quickly pulling Edward away from lashing out again.

"You're angry. I understand. We all are but you can't lash out Edward. Perhaps we were wrong to attempt to do such a thing, but we both did it from a place of concern for her. Rose is right in that we were wrong not to speak with others and Esme first. She also doesn't feel or hear what Esme is right now. She sees grief but doesn't know it in the way we do, she doesn't know what Esme is carrying within her" Jasper said firmly his hand pressed into Edward's chest to make him stand away from the wall he'd buried his arm into his head rested back against the wall looking up to the ceiling.

"She is pleading for me to give her mercy Jasper. She has begged me to help her to her death. How do I say no? How do I say yes? I know there will be no end to her suffering. I can only hope to take from her that pain. Turn her into a shell of numbness be it with your gift or by somehow finding how to control this fucking curse of mine and ending it myself. Even then she will never be free she'll be no different than Marcus forced to live on by the hands of selfish leaders" Edward growled and Jasper found himself shocked at what Edward had said, while he knew of her heartbroken devastating grief, the completely brokenness of her with what had been taken from her. Jasper hadn't expected for her to plead with Edward to end her, even while knowing what became of others who lost their mates for some reason he'd not thought to think of Esme seeking her end.

"She isn't angry" Jasper said his tone changing and hand slipping from Edward's chest realising what this meant, she had shown signs of the anger but it had been wrapped in her pain. She wasn't enraged, not like Victoria had been after they had destroyed James. The red head was still living on that rage to find revenge in what they'd taken from her and yet Esme felt no need for revenge or death. She only wanted peace.

"She only wants death. She doesn't want the pack dead she doesn't want anything but to be with Carlisle. She wants me to give her permission to end her life" Edward shook his head moving away from Jasper feeling like the very walls of his home were closing in around him then, feeling the deep need to scream out at the world and its cruelty. That two truly good souls in this dark immortal world were lost and that he couldn't even hope to save the one that still breathed.

"I need to get away from here... I can't." Edward's eyes turned back to the bedroom of Esme still hearing her pleading mind, it had fallen to only three words. Three words that he knew would follow him to the ends of the earth if he was to run like he wished.

"Please...kill...me"

Edward didn't wait for Jasper to reply before he was descending the stairs to the living room, Tanya and Kate were more than aware of what had been said. All of them were and while many of their minds were reaching out to him trying to force their own opinions Edward had never in his existence wished for an off switch. It was only Emmet's angry approach that made Edward harden he knew Emmet had been prevented from coming to Rosalie's aid when she'd been pinned by Edward. She'd attempted to stop Jasper and Edward simply hadn't had the patients, Emmet grief stricken himself and still very angry with how Rose had come to harm wasn't happy with Edward. He'd expected it but he almost found himself daring his larger bother to come to him, the belief that he'd finally have some kind of exert for the anger that was building up inside of him. Emmet the strongest of them all would give Edward just the outlet that he was looking for his mind was already set on his course of action and it didn't take Alice to see any type of vision to see what would come if someone didn't intercept Emmet's approaching form.

"Emmet stop..." Alice cried out.

"You ever lay your hand on my mate again" Emmet snarled as Edward shook his head at Kate who looked to Edward her hand extended and ready to knock Emmet to his knees if he continued on. Edward saw it coming but didn't try to dodge it almost feeling the need to feel a physical blow like a physical pain would be a sign of his emotional pain.

Emmet moved then barging between both Tanya and Kate and gripping hold of Edward in one motion and then slamming him through the pillar in the open space living room. The sound of crumbled and broken brick was loud in Edward's ears as Emmet drove his back through the pillar and then continued and slammed Edward into the wooden flooring. Even in Emmet's anger his manhandling of Edward wasn't meant to harm but more so as a means of warning. Unfortunately for Emmet, it would be Edward who would not be the one holding back.

A life time of only ever needing these shows of strength to make his point Emmet had never really had to get truly physical with any of his family. Edward's growing anger and his need for something other than a weak wall to lash out against, Emmet had given Edward the exact means to removing the hate that was working through him. He couldn't kill the wolves, not yet but he could fight Emmet. He was aware enough then to know that while he wanted a fight he didn't want to hurt Emmet, hoped that he wouldn't hurt Emmet too badly. Edward could hear the shouts of his family the distinct scream of his own mate Bella that vibrated in his enhanced eardrum as the rubble settled around him as he was forced into the flooring. Emmet had been ready to threaten him and release him without any more but Edward had reacted. He'd kicked out Emmet's feet from under him as he dropped to his knees, Edward moving with a cobra like speed flipping from the crater in the Cullen home and driving his knee into Emmet's chin.

The resounding crack and crunch was deafening as Edward bared his teeth at his bear sized brother wrapping his hand around his throat and moving into bite him. Rage and adrenaline completely in place, the need to not only fight but destroy so much stronger then Edward would have ever believed. It wasn't Emmet at his feet now, chin split by a vicious crack looking up wide eyed at Edward who snarled savagely readying to bite.

"Enough" Bella screamed.

It gave pause to Edward's advance as Bella pushed her way from out of Kate's restraining grasp and she tried to storm towards Edward angrily, everyone shocked enough that Edward had given pause on her demand instead of continuing. Eleazer had been closet with Alice and Jasper to step in and try and stop Edward, Xavier and Rochelle stood close enough that had Edward needed them they would have been there but weren't about to step in. Bella moved past Eleazer, and moved right to Edward and looking at him, her expression both angry and heartbroken. Disappointed even in the way Edward was handling himself, even though she knew Emmet had attacked him first she had to believe that under normal circumstances he would have controlled himself better.

"We're a family. This isn't how we treat each other. Edward you let him go. Right now. This isn't what Carlisle would want. This isn't what Esme needs. The pack wants you reacting badly, your giving them what they want and this right here..." Bella stepped in then as Edward released his grip on Emmet's neck Bella standing between her own mate now and her brother, protective almost even though she was the weakest of them all.

"You will never lay your hands on our family like that again Edward. I understand tensions are high, I know this hurts and you're angry and you can't do anything about it yet. Fighting our family won't fix this" Bella's tone softened as she reached up cupping his face gently his onyx eyes soften slightly and leaning into her touch as she looked around her family.

Jasper was helping Emmet up from the ground and shaking his head at Emmet, he'd picked a poor time to try and make some kind of statement. Edward hadn't hurt Rose he'd simply stopped her from her attempt to stop them trying to help Esme.

"And you. You will never touch my mate again. I don't care if I'm human. This never happens again or I promise you Emmet the first thing I do once I'm changed is show you what happens" Bella said with a fiery heat in her gaze that made Xavier laugh loudly making many of the family turn around to face the man.

"Bravo Bella. Put these Neanderthals in their place. Edward I had believed you a man of words" Xavier had said with a teasing tone even if it didn't hit the mark in the way he'd hoped the distant look in Edward's eyes while softened still worried some of them.

"I'm sorry Bella" Emmet said as he wiped the venom leaking over his chin pressing it over the crack to help seal it shut, he too had felt the need to lash out his anger he'd just needed a reason. He'd never wanted to hurt Edward but he'd known he was risking antagonising Edward, he'd known Edward may well react violently. He'd not expected him to react so quickly though.

"Edward" Emmet reached around Bella offering his hand to his brother his mind apologising for at least tackling him. Edward reaching towards it and taking it even if somewhat a little reluctantly, no words were shared from Edward. He'd not spoken, still the words of Esme running through his mind. The image of the dead rat, in his father's lifeless head lingering ever present on his mind.

"Perhaps a brief moment away from the house would give us all a little time to ourselves" Carmen offered then stepping up beside Eleazer and taking his hand in her own looking to Bella in hope she would understand.

"You haven't eaten Bella" Alice said with a slight knowing look.

It wasn't that they wanted to force Edward out of the house but more give him time away from anything that may cause him to react badly, Bella wanted to protect Edward also. He refused to show his grief plainly like Emmet had with his crying but she hoped alone perhaps he would take down those walls for her that he'd open up to her enough to let her help him. Using her need for food would give at least Edward the idea that he wasn't taking the break for himself but for a way to take care of Bella, he'd care more about another's care over his own.

"We can go to the diner. Give us some time alone Edward" Bella said softly and he turned his gaze back to look down at her and she knew he was struggling with how accepting of this he was, slipping her hand into her own she pulled him slightly towards the front door. The second they'd exited the house he finally broke his silence.

"I'm sorry Bella" Edward whispered huskily in his usually smooth tone.

"I know. I know you were reacting to what Emmet did. I also know that something happened to make him angry enough to do that to you. Jasper said you had to wait to grieve and I'm telling you Edward you don't have too. I've let you down in the past not seeing when you've needed my support and understanding. I won't let that happen this time. Carlisle was your father, you loved him and he's been taken from you. You don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt, you don't have to be strong in front of me Edward. I'm here for you. I want to be here to help you. I love you" Bella turned around to say to him as she watched his eyes lower from meeting her gaze but she could see that her words were resonating with him.

"I love you too" Edward whispered pulling Bella towards him by their joined arms and wrapping her up in his arms, the soothing ease that filtered over his chest as he held her in his arms was more then he felt he deserved but he'd never deny himself it.

They stood there then on the porch of the Cullen home clinging to each other, Bella both grateful that he was at least being more open with her and letting her comfort him. She also enjoyed the comfort that she in turn received from the simple closeness of holding each other, she'd be a liar to say she wasn't heartbroken by what had happened. She could store her own pain away though at least not take the focus away from Edward, she knew he'd do it that he'd focus more on her comfort over what had happened instead of his own. For all the things he saw wrong in himself he truly did care for her above all else, would place himself behind her even when it had been his father that had been lost. His endless selfless love and care of her was something she'd truly began to see and hoped she'd be able to return to him in kind. She didn't want him to always carry the burden alone any longer, she wanted to be strong enough to help carry every hurt and pain he'd done so alone in the past to protect her.

"Let's go for a drive" Edward said finally as he leant back to meet Bella's eyes, they had promised to be more honest and while he hated the thought of burdening her. He knew that he needed to speak to her to hear what she thought, while the rest of the family knew she was still unaware to most of what was happening with Esme. She was unaware of what Edward and Jasper had attempted to do and what had caused the argument between himself and Rose.

"We'll need to take the Aston. I don't think the Volvo will be much use anymore. I doubt it'll be an easy fix either." Edward said trying to think about the cars, a poor attempt even he knew of trying to distract his own mind on what he was thinking. The silence becoming looming as they both walked hand in hand to the entrance to the garage from the outside of the house finding it empty, as the two of them climbed into Edward's vanquish. The car he'd once dubbed as his special occasion car.

Edward wasted little time distancing himself from his home then the gravel kicking up roughly under the sleek tires of his Aston Martin as he took the exit from the long drive way. Once again Bella reached over freeing one of his tense hands from the steering wheel and bringing it back to her lap. Away from Esme's thoughts, from everyone else thoughts of anger and sorrow he felt like he could breath. Edward could only hope Jasper allowed himself the distance too, if this was so deeply affecting him he couldn't begin to imagine how testing this was for his brother. They drove in silence no true destination in mind, Bella was more than content to be there with him, she couldn't offer him the same freedom of hunting that she assumed many of the others may try to take away some of the pent up emotions. One day that would be a choice for them but for now, a drive even a short time away from the house would be vital to keep Edward calm. They still needed each other and Esme needed her family not at each other's throats as things had become unravelled.

"I wanted to help her. Esme. I thought if Jasper and I could just combine our gifts, if I could get some kind of handle on it perhaps I'd be able to ease her. Sooth her through this pain" Edward spoke as Bella watched his tormented features shift but never turn to look at her as he continued driving. She wouldn't interrupt him seeing that he was finally opening up, at least telling her what had happened upstairs while the rest of the family had been expected to give them some distance.

"Eleazer and Jasper seemed certain I could force my mind outwards. Send a command and I tried, I tried to force some semblance of a command to her. Nothing, though. I couldn't make it happen, even with her mind numbed completely by Jasper's gift I couldn't seem to find a way to control this...whatever it is" Edward gritted out through clenched teeth his jaw tight, looking even more stone like in his appearance then it usually did.

"Rosalie was already against my telling Jasper to take it away. I knew she would and I guess, I know at least part of me wanted her to reject the idea. I knew it wasn't right but I couldn't see any other option. Once Rose caught on to what Jasper and I were really planning she wanted us gone. Jasper couldn't continue the way he was. Even with our endless physical stamina there is a limit to our mental abilities. I pushed him, made him abuse his gift and I'll feel guilty for that but I didn't have a choice" Edward said his hand moving up to grip the front of his hair and then move back to hold the steering wheel, Bella all while giving him the silent ears to listen to his struggles. To the choices he was expected to make and yet condemned for.

"I just wanted to take her pain away. I wanted to help her and I selfishly wanted to save her so I didn't have to loss her too" Edward turned the car to the side of a back road and bringing it to a stop his head looking down to his lap defeated.

"You won't loss her Edward. We'll find a way to help her" Bella whispered reaching out and stroking softly at the back of Edward's unruly hair trying to ease his own pain.

"You haven't seen it either. Jasper has, I have. Kate and Tanya too. Even Eleazer knows. Xavier and Rochelle don't even know Esme and they already know. My siblings are in denial and I too wished to find some way but I can't. There is no way to help her Bella" Edward turned to look at his mate, Bella feeling the lump form in her throat at the pure heartbroken gaze he settled on her. He had never looked more like a lost boy in that moment then as he tried to make her see what was happening, the loss of his father and the suffering of his mother.

"I told you what happens when we lose our mates Bella" Edward whispered roughly feeling the need to look away from Bella's watering eyes. Those words finally making her understand what Rose hadn't wanted to accept, what the rest of his family had wanted to believe wasn't the future for their mother.

Bella couldn't speak but found herself remembering his constant warnings behind his declarations of love, every time he'd ever told her about his depth of love for her. He'd called her his reason for existing, she had seen the aftermath of how far he would go to protect her and keep her alive. Then Bella also remembered her enemy Victoria, a vampire who had an endless determination to destroy her and the Cullen's for taking James from her.

Her mate.

Edward had said that those of his kind when they lost their mate they often lost themselves in grief. That either the anger came and they'd seek to avenge their loved one. Then they would seek destruction. Edward when he had believed Bella dead had gone to the Volturi to seek out his death, he had gone straight to Aro and begged for his destruction. Was prepared to force the hands of some of the most powerful vampires in existence to bring about his end because he'd believed she was dead. Bella was quickly beginning to understand what it was that Edward believed his family were trying to deny.

Esme wouldn't get better because she didn't want too.

Esme wasn't a mortal woman who would move past the loss of her husband as any other woman would with time. She would carry the loss of Carlisle forever. Slowly becoming more broken and detached as time went by, Bella had witnessed an immortal so deeply detached from this world but forced to live on in Marcus.

"She wants to die" Bella found herself strangling out the words through her tears, Edward bringing her into his arms and muffling her sob into his chest as he held her.

"What do I do? How can I refuse her request when I know that fear? That belief, that the only thing that made this life worth living is gone. I either allow my mother to die or I condemn her to a life of misery. Either I let her grow to hate me or my family will hate me for what I do. She begs, she has only begged for her end to me. Tell me what I am to do Bella please" Edward whispered finally his will shattering as he too found himself trembling around his silent tears his hands both needing to squeeze tighter and yet knowing to be gentle with his fragile mate.

Bella slowly changing their embrace bringing Edward's head to her chest as she cradled his head to her kissing his ear and stroking back his hair as he fell apart. As he pleaded with her to understand what was expected of him, seeing that while he'd been expected to lead he'd never expected this choice. Edward wasn't ready to make the choice of giving his mother mercy or forcing her to live a life he himself would not have wanted to live.

"We have to let her go" Bella whispered through her hiccups caressing Edward's hair as she pressed her lips to his ear. Even though the words tasted of the worst betrayal to her she had to tell him what she knew was only right. She didn't want to lose Esme but she couldn't help but think of Marcus, that tormented immortal tied down by gifts of others, forced to live on even though inside he was already gone.

"We can't force her to live on like Aro has done to Marcus. We have to love her enough to give her the choice Edward. No one will hate you. I don't hate you. We have to do what's right for Esme" Bella cried and Edward nodded his trembling halting slightly as he pressed his face tighter into Bella's warm chest, the beat of her heart like the only lullaby that could heal his broken heart.

"Her choice. God forgive me I'll give her the choice" Edward croaked out weakly welcoming the embrace of his mate and allowing Bella to hold him together for the first time in their relationship as he fell apart.

Finally realising what would have come all along, no vampire lived on without their mate. Not in any capacity that wasn't a cursed one, he'd almost forced his mother to become what Aro had made of Marcus. He'd almost without thought abused Jaspers gift as Aro did all his guard and forced Esme to an imprisoned life where her mind was not her own. He'd break all of their hearts to do this, but he couldn't refuse his mother the only thing she wanted. What any one of them would want if they were without their other half.

Edward knew that he would have to help kill his mother to save her.