Chapter 34
Knock, Knock
"You look like hell." Faith says as I slump my aching body down across from her at the table. Clearly she has figured out the coffee machine, a mug is thrust into my hands.
"Thanks. You too." I say, raising my coffee in a salute. Faith smirks and turns back to the frying pan. "Are… you cooking me breakfast?"
"What? You think I can't look after myself, is that it princess? Been looking after myself since I was a sprat."
"You don't strike me as the Suzy Homemaker type."
"I ain't. Don't mean I can't apply heat to meat." A wicked grin that quickly fades when I don't smile back. "But seriously, you look as shit as I feel."
"Last night I… my…" I sigh, trying to run through both events and feelings in a format Faith can hear. I don't want to break our rule, but somehow all this silence makes truth a pale ghost. I place my mug down and tip my head back in frustration. "It was an awful night. And… I didn't sleep much, I got in late this morning but what little sleep I got was all freakshow level nightmares."
Faith slides into the opposite chair and places a fluffy as hell looking omelette down in front of me. Cheese is drooling out the side and it looks amazing. I shoot her a look that she seems to find satisfaction in.
"This is… wow. You can cook."
"Had a good teacher." She then puts on a prim English accent "learn a simple thing well, then move on, dear girl. Soon one will have a whole host of dishes that one can prepare to an excellent level."
"Is this the woman that took you in?"
"Diana. Yeah." She says with a mouthful of egg. "She died."
"I'm sorry."
Faith shrugs like it is a common occurrence, and we silently sit eating.
"Last night my two best friends ended up in hospital."
"Holy shit. They okay?"
"No. No, actually, they were in a critical condition last time I saw them." I say. "I don't know what to do."
"I'm sorry."
Oh, if you only knew who. Would you be sorry then? That thinking sours my stomach and makes me reach for my coffee. I take a few mouthfuls of the sweet, bitter liquid as Faith watches, concern carved into her brow. I am trembling, with repressed rage or fear or something.
"You gonna go see them?"
"We all had, uh, a falling out. I am not sure that I would be welcome." I say. "Scratch that, I am just so terrified that if I… I don't want..."
"Sokay, we can go together if you're freaked out." Her hand falls over the back of mine and caresses it before locking her fingers into mine. I shake my head. Because that would not only expose me to the truth about their fates, but also rip me away from the one good thing in my life.
I had a good thing in my life. I had Willow and Buffy. Three against the darkness. Well four, if you count Giles. Well… five because Cordy and… Oz. Angel too, I guess. Seven of us. Just like the samurai or the magnificent. And now? Number eight holds my hand. Unlucky eight. One too many, perhaps. So now it is just me. Just me.
My hand is squeezed and I look up into warm brown eyes.
"Faith." I say, drawing in a long, deep breath. "I feel so lost."
"Then come with me." She says.
"What?"
"Cut everything and everyone loose and just, restart. Come with me."
"Where?"
Faith shrugs with one shoulder, her smile is tinged with nervousness.
"Lexi, this thing we got going? It's good. Isn't it? That's why you wanted me to stay, right?"
"Yeah. It is."
"Had a lot of time to think and, I guess what I'm sayin' is, the deal is the same for me. I like this. I want this."
"You want me to go on the run with you?"
Faith lifts her coffee to her lips and takes a sip. The nod is subtle, but there, hidden behind the mug. I swallow myself and look down at her hand in mine.
"Lexi." Faith says. "Sunnydale owes us nothing. We can be new again. I got money, a stash of it from The Boss. We can go somewhere and… do this. But safe from them."
I admit, I slip into the fantasy for a moment. Of a cool house somewhere far, far away, with Faith and, for some reason, a big shaggy grey dog. The snow frosted air plucking her soft cheeks red as we walk around some night market eating street food and laughing about unimportant stuff. No care in the world about monsters and apocalypses, no fear of the night. No more nightmares. No more Slayers.
"What is it?" Faith says. "You don't want to?"
"I do." I smile sadly. "It's a nice dream. But that isn't how it works for us, is it?"
"Who says? Screw them. Girlfriend, we can live large. Grab life by the b-"
"Because you are The Slayer." I snap. Faith freezes, her hand draws away from mine. I catch myself using the singular. I feel like a traitor to Buffy, who may still be alive. "Because you are one of the Slayers and we both know if you run those things out there win."
"How?"
I can't think of anything to say that doesn't feel like lying by omission. She nods.
"Our rule huh? Well, fine. However you know, you don't know that I ain't a Slayer no more. Besides, I was always second string. The-"
"Buffy is in hospital. For all I know she may be dead. She took multiple gunshots to the chest."
"You-?"
"The dagger she stabbed you with was cursed, which is why you aren't healing right or have any of your powers back. It was supposed to weaken her. Hell, for all we know it was why you were in a coma. The Mayor gave it to you to take her out."
Faith is on her feet in an instant, the collar of my oversized sleeping shirt balled in her fist. I am dragged forward, causing the plate to scrape under me. Her eyes are burning red with tears and rage. But I don't move to retaliate.
"You played me!" A hoarse growl.
"How?" I whisper.
Faith is trembling against me, her heat feels like it is scorching my own face. Her other fist is raised, wavering ready to smash down into me. Her eyes dart back and forth as she tries to understand.
"How have I played you?"
"You swore. You swore."
"No lies. But secrets are fine." I say. "I never lied to you."
"But…"
"Faith. I knew who you were when you came in the bar that night. I chose to help you. And I am still choosing that, regardless of my feelings for you. We can lift the curse. You can be strong again."
"Lexi… please." She says, shaking her head. "I… I… they know? They know I am here?"
"Giles does. He wants to help you."
"Bullshit. It's a trick. This is all some trick isn't it?"
"The council are gunning for you. Giles is no longer in the council. He got kicked out. He can help you if you let him."
"No." She says, swallowing. "No." I feel the grip at my collar tighten uncomfortably. Breath is becoming an issue. I place my hands softly on hers and feel the grip give a little.
"You saved me. I save you. That's the deal." I whisper. "Faith. You can make it all right again. You can be the hero you were supposed to be. And we can be together, if you want that."
Faith is shaking her head in tiny movements, her sad eyes have lost all anger.
The knock at the door shatters everything.
