Chapter 36

We End. We Begin

I don't give much thought on how I know where exactly Buffy is, I just know I do. And as I thread my way through the hospital, that feeling grows stronger, as does my sense of dread.

I find Joyce pacing in the hallway, distraught. Giles is sitting on one of the many chairs fixed to the wall, slumped back, his hand to his eyes.

I skid to a halt, my heart pounding loudly but painlessly in my chest. I am barely out of breath, my legs feel rubbery and yet I stand solid and effortlessly. I hate that I know what this means. I hate everything about it.

I approach Joyce, fearfully, but she opens her arms to me and I embrace her.

"Xander." She says. I don't correct her, of course, I just hold her frail body in my arms.

"Lexi." Giles says, he is standing by me now, and I angle my head to him, bracing myself for the words. "I am afraid They have had to put Buffy into an induced coma."

"But she is-" I start to say, but I cut myself short, for Joyce's sake.

"Her brain was swelling, they had to induce a coma to protect her." Joyce said. "My poor baby. My little girl."

I hold Joyce and bring us both over to the seats.

"And Willow?"

"I don't know, they won't tell us anything. We are not family, you see."

"Giles, what about Tara and Anya?"

"Anya threw a tantrum when they wouldn't let her in to see Willow, she was escorted out by security. Tara took her home when she…" Giles trails off. Joyce stiffens in my arms. They are looking back down the hall at the figure of a girl.

A dark figure, like a shadow puppet against the sterile white hall. Faith.

I stand, and walk over to her, unsure of what to say.

"You felt it too." I said. She nods, her face pale, her eyes red.

"She's…"

"No." I say. "Maybe for a second. But she is in a coma now."

Faith breathes out, a wave of complex emotions playing across her features.

"So" Faith says. "Guess you're this year's girl."

I shake my head at the idea, lost for words. I feel tears begin to flow.

"I don't want this." I say. "I just want Buffy back. I want you."

"Life ain't like that though, is it?"

"I can't be a Slayer." I say. "I can't. I am not strong like you. Like Buffy. I can't."

"Faith." Giles says quietly, politely. I turn to see him behind me. He looks like he hasn't slept at all.

"Heya G.Man. Long time."

"It is good to see you."

Faith shifts uncomfortably, her jaw set. She looks at me, then back to Giles.

"Buffy gonna live?" She says. Giles takes a deep breath.

"Faith… " he says, his eyes filling with tears, his words are uncharacteristically emotional. "I don't know. She looks so... Oh my she looks just so..."

Faith claws her fingers through her lank hair and sighs, and shakes her head and laughs.

"Yeah well, take it from me. Coma ain't so bad for girls like us." She shoots her eyes at me.

"Giles. Buffy must have died for a little while because…"

"You've been called." He says. There isn't a question or a hint of ridicule in his voice.

"I think so." I say.

"Faith." Giles says. "We need your help."

"What for? You got your replacement already. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow." She spits.

"Oz is missing, Willow may be too for all i know. Whatever we are up against…" I say but Faith cuts me off.

"Welp, don't you just know all the cool kids?" She says bitterly

"Faith, please." I say, reaching for her arm. She bats it away, staggering to keep her balance.

"Don't touch me. You are just like her!" She then snorts a laugh. "Well, now you really just are like her." She sneers and storms off down the corridor, smashing wide the swinging doors.

Giles holds my shoulder, holding me back.

"Let her go. She just needs some time."

"Oz doesn't have any time. Whoever has him… those soldiers, they could be doing… who knows what."

"Where are you going?"

"To check on Willow. I have lost enough people I care about today."


The staff try to hold me back, to stop me, but I drag them with me as I enter the room.

"Stop, let her in. She's family" Willow says and after a little heated discussion I am in at her bedside and the staff leave warily. Willow using guilt about her absent family to tip the scales.

"So." Willow says, her skin is aglow and she watches me with vibrant, clear eyes. "What's the what, ole buddy. You… you're still my ole buddy, right?"

"Of course I am Wils. You look better. Amazingly so, in fact."

"Yeah, apparently pesky mortal wounds are no longer much of a problem for me. Unless silver is involved or yunno, troublesome beheadings."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, I.. It's not so bad when you put it in perspective. I mean, of all the people at the party who could have been turned, at least I had previous experience with the whole wolfy sitch."

"Of all the people." I chuckle bitterly.

"Hows Buffy?"

"Buffy had to be put into a coma. She's alive, but… it's pretty serious. And she kinda died for a bit."

"She's gonna pull through Xander. Faith did."

"Yeah." I say with a frown. I wonder if Faith turned round or kept on going. I couldn't blame her if she did. I had to face facts, everything was different now. Everything was broken. "So much has happened Willow, I don't know where to begin. And whoever has Oz… whoever shot Buffy… we have to find them. They have to pay."

"Time to get the Scoobies back together."

"Wanna bust out of here?"

"Thought you would never ask." She says slipping quickly out of the bed and pulling the drip from her arm. I try not to notice the hole closing faster than I have ever seen Buffy's wounds heal. She hums at the sight and turns to me, pleasantly surprised.

I approach the window with some trepidation, unsure of what I can now do. I place my hand on the steel bars keeping it restricted. It feels as hard a steel usually does, but as I apply force and it reaches the upper limit, something kicks in, like an overdrive, suddenly it feels like there is so much more room to push harder, and the metal changes texture, changes solidity, groaning as it gives. The bar housing snaps and the window swings wide.

Now Willow is shocked.

"It's a long story." I say.

"So, Buffy kinda died for a bit" she says. I nod, sheepishly. Willow looks me up and down. "Huh."


Anya and Tara are at The Magic Box when we arrive, sometime around noon.

Tara lets us in. She is dressed in a deep blue fuzzy sweater and a long black skirt, her mousy hair now faded blue, cut to shoulder length. Her face is puffy from tears, but she smiles warmly as we arrive.

"Hi Tara." I say.

"Hi."

"I have to apologize. I didn't know you and Buffy were dating."

"I know. Sh-she explained. It's okay."

"I am so very sorry how I acted." I said.

"It's o-okay, really Lexi." She says. "She had a hard time coming out, her… previous same sex relationship didn't g-go exactly smoothly a-and it took a w-while for her to come to terms. S-she wasn't sure how any of you would react."

"Ironic. We are all into girls." I say, and step into the shop. "Strange how things work out."

It occurs to me that Buffy's ex in question is now my ex. I feel a stab of guilt thinking about the look of betrayal Faith gave me. I am just like Buffy. In so many ways. Wounds rubbing on wounds.

I hope Faith is okay right now.

Willow and Anya are not okay.

"Hey you." Willow says, awkwardly. Anya hovers, several feet back.

"Hey." She says.

"Oh." Willow says, her face falling. "I see."

"It's nothing personal." Anya says. "I just feel uncomfortable with the idea of becoming a werewolf."

"Anya, I dated a werewolf for two years, and I never…" Willow trails off and looks down at herself. Tara and I hover, both unsure of what to do in the situation. "Well, I guess the adult thing is to talk about this later, after we save Oz."

"Your werewolf ex boyfriend who tried to kill us all."

"Anya, enough!" I say, stepping forward. "Oz is our friend, he is a good guy, the best guy, and he is in trouble. Buffy is in a coma because of these people. And Giles is stretched to his limit. Please."

Anya is gaping like a fish, trying to process what is going on. She crosses her arms. Tara walks over and loops her arm around Willow's shoulders, guiding the stunned girl to a seat at the round table.

Anya tentatively takes a seat, the furthest from Willow, I notice. I sigh and rub my hand over my weary face. I feel sick to my stomach with grief, but there is a sort of barrier sitting between me and it right now. My eyes rake over the room like it is new to me. Even far across the room every label, every book title is crisp and perfectly legible. And the colors? They are all vibrant and rich with complexity. I see it all, and it somehow fits into my mind. I rub my eyes and lean against the counter to steady myself.

"I had The FBI at my home asking me questions about the party." I say.

"Clacy and Rosenberg?" Willow says. "They talked to me too."

"Have they found out anything?" I say.

"Will they interview me?" Anya says fearfully. "I don't have a story worked out yet. What do I say?"

"Rosenberg seems to be clued up on Sunnydale spooky goings on. She brought up Pete. And Marcy too." I say.

"If she has dug up anything will she have files on it? Maybe there is a clue there." Tara offers. She turns to Willow. "Could you hack into them?"

Willow nods, distractedly. She catches herself and then replies "yes, of course."

"We could also do with a history of the house, floorplans, who owns it." I say. "Tara, Anya, whoever did those wards will have more magic like that no doubt. What can we do to counter it?" Tara turns to Anya and shrugs.

"Moresley's cross?" She says.

"Invocation of HHhHgGralgfax." Anya replies. "Maybe Sinostrian Tar."

"Ooh, I have a summons for Sinostria. We could also do…w"

"Wings of Fraeci." Anya says excitedly. Tara jumps up and rushes to the book shelf at the back of the store. Anya rushes to the doorway leading to the cellar.

I look back at Willow, who is scowling at the computer, her fingers drumming as she waits for it to boot up.

"You okay?" I offer, weakly.

"Mmm hmmm"

"She will come around." I say, looking back through the shop window and out into the streets of Sunnydale. "Just give her some time."

Willow nods, and smiles falsely. She then starts tapping away at the keys. She checks something and then frowns.

"Xander, can you do something for me?"

"Yeah Wils, anything."

"Can you go down into the basement and prepare the manacles?" She says, not looking up. "And maybe find Gile's tranquilizer gun? Says here the moon is still full tonight."

I nod and push myself off the counter, heading for the basement. And my thoughts turn to a memory of Faith running straight at the werewolf. I look down at my slim cotton sleeve and sigh.

Poor Willow.

Giles returns later that night to find us all around the table, books out, maps strewn, half eaten pizza boxes stacked on the counter.

Only I notice the soft smile he makes before his business face returns.

"Good evening everyone. Buffy is stable, but she isn't out of the woods yet, I am afraid. I managed to get Joyce to go home and get some sleep."

A blood churning growling emanates from the basement, but by this stage, I am used to it, but Giles seems alarmed.

"That's Willow." I say, standing and placing the rifle I had across my lap onto the table. "I got her out of the hospital before the FBI could reach her."

"Very wise."

"We threw her a mummy arm to give her something to chew on." Anya says. "The one from the bargain bin, of course."

"And Faith?"

"No idea. She may be at home, I haven't been back."

"Faith?" Tara says, looking up from her book. "T-The o-o-other Slayer?"

"Yeah." I say, stretching the crick out of my neck. It then occurs to me I have another thing in common with Buffy. "Soooo I have been secretly looking after Faith at my place." I sigh.

"Faith, who tried to kill everyone and help the Mayor's Ascension?"

"And while I am confessing I'm… I was, I mean, sorta involved with her."

"Romantically?" Tara says, somewhat stunned.

"Surprisingly? Yes." I say. I pull myself up on the counter, effortlessly landing exactly where I planned to. This is so infinitely wigsome. I gesture to the audience. "You may now shower me with all the insults, stones and rotten fruit I deserve."

"Anything else you are hiding from us?" Tara says.

"No!" I say, emphatically. Pause. "Yes." I look over at Tara and wince. "So did Buffy tell you about the time she fought The Master and sort of died for a bit?" I say. Tara nods, placing her book down nervously. "And how it triggered the next Slayer to be called?"

"Kendra. Who then died and we ended up with psycho killer Faith. Who apparently you have been having secret psycho killer sex with." Anya says.

"Tara, don't be alarmed but… well, Buffy must have uh… just for a little bit… but she is stable now… but… I… "

"Everyone, " Giles says, placing his hands on both my shoulders. "Lexi here is the new Slayer."

I swallow at all the stunned looks.

No pressure at all.