Everything has to come to an end, sometime.
L. Frank Baum
Simon tugged at a tendril of her hair and she groaned, pulling away from his grasp. He laughed, his arm still wrapped around her. They were watching some disney movie Clary didn't recall seeing before. Something about a boy and a gigantic robot friend. She was barely paying attention, her thoughts clearly elsewhere. Trying to come up with excuses to see Jace was getting difficult. She had already tried the I've-got-a-project-due and school-work excuses to Simon. He was getting suspicious, she could tell. Before Jace, her entire day would be spent with her childhood friend. After all, she had no one else.
Clary gently moved on the sofa so that she was staring at the boy beside her, his unmoving brown eyes focused on the television screen in front of him. "I'm gonna head out, Si." Once the words were uttered, he glanced to her in surprise, a handful of chips in his hand held in mid air.
"What? You just got here!" She winced at his tone.
"Don't worry. I'll come back tonight. I'm still sleeping over." He sat up, his junk food forgotten.
"What's up with you? You've been going out so many times this past month. What's up?" She expected anger but all she could hear was a little hurt and a lot of concern. Her lips quirked upwards in an uneasy smile.
She sighed as if defeated. "I didn't want anyone to know..." She faltered, waiting for him to react.
He pushed his glasses up in annoyance. "Didn't want anyone to know what?"
Clary inched closer to him. "Remember those art classes I wanted to take?"
He nodded slowly, confusion still clear on his pale skin. "The ones you couldn't join, right?"
"Well", she started. "That's where I've been going. I'm using all the money I've saved up. You know, birthdays, allowances, and whatever."
Simon looked anxious. "How come you didn't tell me? I could help with some of the cash, Fray." He sounded betrayed and her heart tightened at the feeling. She never lied to him. Never in her entire life. Jace was such a touchy subject, it almost felt like she could speak to no one about him. He was her secret.
Clary swallowed. "Si, I've got it covered. Don't worry. You know I tell you everything. I just wanted to get a hang of the classes first before I told you."
It took him a few moments to reply. "Okay. Wow. You were starting to scare me." He grinned, shaking his head in what appeared to be exasperation.
"Sorry. Just don't tell mom. She's got enough to worry about." He nodded and she released a breath of relief. Rising to her feet, she grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulders. The credits of the movie started to roll downwards.
"See ya, Simon." He waved and with a jump in her step, Clary hurried down the apartment stairs, into the fresh air of coming autumn. The powder on the streets from winter had melted and the sun now regularly lit up the New York atmosphere. He wasn't in the alleyway so she supposed he was in his house, if you even called it that.
She didn't like the path to get there. It was creepy and she could hear tiny animals scurrying as she walked. The sky was a lilac color, soft and only spread in some areas. It was nearing evening as Clary knocked on the rusty door. He answered and she blinked at the light of his room that stung her eyes.
He walked back in and she almost scoffed at his lack of greeting but thought against it, shutting his door behind her. "Jace?" She called, uncertain of where he had gone. His bed was already made, no wrinkles or folds in sight. She sauntered to the painted walls where they had first kissed, the memory still permanently glued in the inner depths of her mind. Absent-mindedly, she traced her fingers on the words, large and neat. She read some of the terms, thinking that perhaps there was an artist in Jace she missed. Then she heard it. Soft sounds. Like tiny musical footsteps. Her gaze drew to another door, one she hadn't seen before. Bewildered, she thought of knocking but didn't think it mattered. He already knew she was there anyway.
Clary swung the door open and the source of the noises she had listened to earlier was revealed. A piano. And the notes were louder now. Jace was playing, bare chested for he wore no shirt, his fingers dancing across the white and black keys. It wasn't a happy tune but it wasn't exactly sad either. It was a mix of both and all she could really do was watch and listen in fascination. He was beautiful. His hair was unruly, damp and scattered in a long mess. His hands were trembling lightly and there was something in his posture that caused her orbs to widen by a fraction. He looked at peace. He wasn't angry or annoyed or even harsh. He was...himself.
Hesitantly, she trudged forward, afraid to disturb him. But he didn't notice her or at least, he didn't care. The piano bench still held some room so she sat, making sure she was a few inches away from him. She could feel the air of concentration around him. The way his foot tapped impatiently and still on cue. There wasn't a sheet of music in front of him. The stand was empty. He was playing by heart.
And Clary wondered what the piece was called. It was nostalgic. It made her remember swing sets and occupied days. Stories and kisses at night. Childhood then adulthood even though she wasn't quite there yet to begin with. A wave of his tawny hair fell forward, catching at the sweat of his brow. Unable to stop herself, she brought her fingers to him and swept the hair away from his forehead. He was burning. And suddenly, despite not knowing a thing about playing music, she heard the sound of a wrong note, one that didn't belong and then the wonderful melody halted.
She snatched her hand away. "I'm sorry. I just-" He shook his head wearily, like the piano had drained him. He covered his face with his arms for a minute or more, she couldn't really count while staring at him.
Clary hear his sharp breaths, small and nearly silent. She wondered if he was angry that she had interrupted him. The music was so magnificent and true. So full of things unsaid. She pushed away her backpack and her arm accidentally pressed upon some of the keys, random and ugly noises erupting. She flinched but saw that Jace was looking at her now. She glanced away, folding her hands together tightly.
"Clary. Look at me." He rarely ever spoke her name and unsure of his motive, she turned to face him. His eyes were dark, a hazy gold. They still made her dizzy when she stared for too long.
He was biting his bottom lip, the hair she had moved away was back against his forehead. It made him look better than before. He leaned in, his warm breath tickling her face, making her think thoughts she shouldn't. Without saying anything else, he closed the bench space between them and they were kissing. Tender, tiny kisses. Hungry but patient. He would press his lips to hers then pull away only to come back a moment later. She placed her hands on his shoulders, the skin there was tingling with heat. At her touch, he pressed her body closer to his.
Then he groaned and rested backwards, his arms still around her waist. Clary tried to breathe but her chest was rising and falling too quickly. She was so close to him; he hadn't let go of her. She was glad she was sitting. If she had been standing, her knees would have melted into a puddle. His fingers pressed her chin up and she was forced to look at him. "You're not gonna faint, are you?" The unfriendly tone was back again.
She snatched her face from his hands at the loaded question. Her eyebrows furrowed. "No." Silence followed until Jace stood, taking away all the warmth he had given her. She watched him saunter out of the room.
Growling under her breath, Clary stalked forward, following him. He sat on his bed, throwing an orange ball to the ceiling and back. "I didn't know you played the piano."
He shrugged and didn't answer. Her hands fisted till her fingernails dug into her flesh. Couldn't he at least pretend to care a bit? He had just kissed her. Did that not matter at all?
Angrily, Clary moved to the edge of the room farthest away from him. She faced the wall, an empty space not yet painted on. An idea rippled in her head. She reached into her bag and felt for her art kit, bringing it out in a heap on the ground. "Okay." She whispered to herself. Now she had to think of what to draw. It was never difficult for her to doodle in class because she was always bored, constantly creative. She twisted her feet so that she could criss-cross comfortably. She grabbed her sketching pencil, lightly tapping it along the wall, making tiny marks of black on the hard surface.
Soon, everything disappeared. And she was drawing. She didn't know what she was drawing or what would come of it but she kept going. A pale slant there. A line here. Shading of different hues. She stopped. Placed her arm down because it ached slightly. Clary glanced at what she had just created. Wings. Golden wings. Extended and sparkling with all the colors of a rainbow. It wasn't done, obviously. Just a rough edit. From far away, they kind of looked real. Like an angel's. "What did you do?" It was Jace. Though his voice was accusing, it didn't hold any anger.
She ignored him just as he had done to her. She dumped her box into her backpack, not bothering to organize any of the materials. Her phone rang and she answered, knowing who it was without checking. "Simon?"
She fumbled with the zipper of her coat. "Give me thirty minutes. That's when the class ends. Alright. Yeah. Okay, bye."
When she straightened, she found Jace sitting down, staring at what she had drawn. His face was unreadable. Clary let out a breath. "I learned to play piano when I was a kid." Her lips parted and she let go of the zipper in her hand, letting her coat fall. "Back with my family. I wasn't forced though. I usually played when no one was in the house. Or when they were sleeping."
She sat beside him. "Well, it doesn't really matter. It was the most amazing thing I ever heard." They were facing her drawing. She could feel his gaze on her but she didn't dare move. It could ruin the moment.
He laid down on the carpeted ground. Was he cold? He still wasn't wearing a shirt. She could see the muscular lines on his chest. They moved as he breathed. Doing the same, Clary tucked herself near him. Not so close but not far either. Their shoulders touched. She held her breath. Trying to make her lungs stop their noises. "Jace?"
He didn't answer. She continued nonetheless. "Am I just...a play thing? If you know what I mean."
She heard him release a breath. "Maybe. I don't know." His voice was rough. Stumbling, she stood and zipped her jacket successfully this time. She almost ran to the door in her hurry to get out except he was faster. She could see his golden eyes, light now, staring at her.
"I'm leaving so let me go." She tucked her shaking hands into her pockets.
He shook his head. "I-I'm sorry." It sounded strangled like he had never said those words before.
"You can't just apologize for every little thing and expect me to come back everyday. You just can't." She sniffled and cursed her stupid emotions for getting the best of her.
"Okay." He moved away from the door.
She watched him, a sad expression on her face. Well, that was that. She walked away. He didn't stop her.
