Chapter 42
A Stitch In Time
Conan The Barbarian was once asked "what is best in life?" As cool as his answer was, I have to make a few modifications of my own. What is, infact, best in life is punching Spike out cold in one hit, dumping him in Gile's car boot and seeing his limp body chained up in Gile's bathtub. No lamentations of women required. Which is fortunate because somehow in the chaos Harmony vanished, axe and all.
Cordelia sits at the kitchen table nursing a mug of coffee, watching sympathetically as I get my wounds tended by Giles. And to be honest, this whole sea change in her personality, it is wigging me out, I don't think I have ever seen her think twice about anyone but herself. No, that's unfair. I don't think I have seen her act like she is only thinking about herself. She has layers, it turns out, and as much false front as Faith. Under all that venom, Cordelia actually cared.
Giles hands me a glass of water and a pair of familiar pills. I gaze at them, hesitantly as he watches with concern etched on his face
"This is weird." I say. And he nods, reassuringly. "I still remember vividly you sitting us down, Willow and I, and warning us over and over that these things would probably kill us if we tried one. You paced. The emphasis was very emphatic."
"Yes, well, those rules no longer apply to you." Giles says softly. "But I understand it must be jarring. You have been through so much change in so little time, Lexi, it astounds me how you manage it at all. Take them, they will help."
I gaze down at the pills in my palm, still uncertain, but we both know that layer of fear runs deeper than a stiff warning. My warnings walked, and talked and argued and fought right above my head. But the pain was unrelenting, my ribs, throat, knees, ankles, elbows, knuckles, back, each pain throbbing at a different tempo, blurring into a cacophony of ouch. I toyed with the pills and let my hand fall loose at my side. I glance around Gile's harshly lit kitchen, remembering all the times I watched as Buffy sat here, undergoing the same treatment. I felt helpless then, so sorry for her suffering, and I wished I could take all her pain away. I guess I got my wish.
"This is the part where the needle comes out, isn't it?" I say, wincing as Giles presses the pad of foul smelling cotton to my lip. It burns, but in a strangely comforting way. "I stitched up Buffy enough times to know."
"I am sorry, Lexi. You will need stitches, yes. We can go to the hospital if you prefer.
"No." I sigh. "Guess I best get used to it. I mean, this is how it is going to be for me from now on in."
"With training, less so." He says, a flicker of dark humor on his features "one would be astounded at the effect dodging can have on the number required stitches". I give him a 'hardy har' grin back. Cordelia smirks but has the decency to hide it behind the rim of her mug.
"This sucks."
"Yes." He says. "Yes, it does."
"And I suck worse. Giles, I got my ass handed to me. I am just not cut out to be a Slayer."
"I would strongly disagree with that appraisal, Lexi. You saved dozens of people from what otherwise would have been a bloodbath. Your first real challenge as The Slayer and you slew upwards of six vampires and captured one of the most dangerous, most notorious vampires in history."
"He had me Giles. Dead to rights. If whatever stopped him hadn't…" I hiss as Giles cruelly tampers with the wound on my lip. "Hhhhhaaaaa…. Ow."
"And when Buffy was defeated by The Master, remember what saved her then?"
Me. Her friends. Having friends saved her. I look over to Cordelia and can't help but smile.
"Thanks Cordy."
"We help the helpless." She smiles back.
"Well, that was a bust." Tara enters, dumping down a bag of mystical herbage and a crystal onto the kitchen counter, before hoisting herself up onto it. She looks exhausted. "I couldn't detect any charms, enchantments… anything."
"So can I dust him now?" I growl.
"Whatever it was that caused Spike agony when he harmed you could be a vital weapon in our fight."
"You tested Spike, but what about him?" Cordy points to me.
"Her." Tara corrects. "Lexi uses female pronouns. But, good point." Cordelia looks at me for a moment before shrugging one shoulder.
"But the vampires could hurt me. Only Spike couldn't." I say, still feeling a little sparkle of happiness from Tara's correction.
"What if it isn't magic at all?" Tara says "what if it's something else?"
"We will have to interrogate him." Giles says. "So perhaps, hold off on the Slaying for now."
I grumble, then wince at the sight of the thin, hooked needle.
"This sucks." I reiterate.
I have never seen a vampire sleeping. And Spike seems so very human when he does so. The carved marble features softened, the lines of rage or mockery vanished, the pallid lips slack, soft quite kissab… okay, all aboard, express train to wigsome valley leaving now.
I shake my head in lieu of brain bleach and fold my arms across my chest. I swear, it is the residual effects of slaying. I spent the ride home squirming in the seat, uncomfortably wet. Faith was right about the hungry and horny thing.
I let my mind settle into a comfortable fantasy about Faith, of furious, passionate kisses against a tomb wall, the ashes of vampires still in the air around us. I feel a stirring in my chest that heats the horniness to boiling point, and a gasp leaves my lips. But the reality soaks back in like cold water along my spine. She could be anywhere now, if the council have found her. What the hell would they be doing to her. The boiling stays, but shifts into anger.
"Anyone tell you it's rude to stare." Spike says, his eyes still shut.
"Anyone tell you it's rude to stalk and murder women?"
"I murder men too. I am an equal opportunity demon, me." He says, and stretches as best his chains allow. Crystal blue eyes open, and settle on me.
"Comfortable?"
"No."
"Good."
"Hungry." He smiles, his eyes falling on my neck. I shift and fold my arms again, you know, the other way. Okay, I clasp my thighs together a bit too, but shush now, we aren't talking about that.
"Good." I say. He smiles slowly.
"I can smell you." He says. "I know how you taste."
"You are not helping your situation, Spike."
"And what situation is that, love? Humiliation before you stake me? Or, is it to be torture, before you peg me out for the sun? We both know that's more your style. You have it in you, that dark streak, I can see it, plain as day. Not like the golden girl. Yours is inviting."
"Can it, Blondie Bear." I smirk at his sneer. "You tell us what we need to know and you get blood. Otherwise… actually I am not sure, what exactly happens when a vampire starves?"
"It's not a pretty picture, pet. Looks horrible." He grins. "And you like looking at me, don't you?"
"I confess I do like you better beaten and chained up in a bathtub. It's probably a kink of mine, who knows? Still, we got a whole mess of blood bags downstairs in the mini fridge for your consideration."
"Bitch."
"Thank-you." I grin and turn to leave.
"Offer still stands, Lexi Hart." He says in that voice like a deep purr. "Immortality. Freedom. A Queendom. Imagine the power of a slayer combined with the power of a vampire. You would be glorious. A deadly beauty, a true…"
Without turning I kick the bathroom door shut with my heel. Seriously, I need to do something about my post slay hormones, this is not healthy for me.
"Wow, you look all purple-y. Does it hurt?" Willow says as I come down the stairs.
"Only when I exist." I smile, and ease myself carefully down on the chair opposite her. "Tip? Don't become a Slayer. Sure, the brochure looks cool, and the free steak knives are great, but the fine print is a killer. How have you been?"
"Less bruised. Well, physically. Emotionally? Still smarting."
"Anya tell you how she felt?"
"Yes. But, I don't know why Xander, it felt so… I don't know. Broken. It broke us."
"So where are you two at?"
"I-I called it off." Willow sighs, a forced little smile to hide the hurt- a habit of hers. "It was for the best. I-I think. Maybe it will heal in time but, I feel so different now, you know?"
"Strangely, I do."
"And that's my fault too. You wouldn't be a Slayer if I hadn't done my spell! Maybe if I break the spell someone else would be called."
"We don't know that." I say.
"We can try. I mean, I just have to..."
"Then some other girl would have to go through this, Willow. As much as I don't want to be a Slayer, someone has to. That's not right. I don't want that."
"Xander please, let me…"
"Oz needs us. And Buffy. And, regardless of your feelings, Faith needs us too. If I am not The Slayer, who knows where this power will go."
Willow nods, her lips tight and trembling.
"Xander I am so, so sorry I did this to you."
"I know. And that is enough." I groan as I stand. "And I know this hard for you too, but Xander is gone. I am Lexi now. And as much as it hurts like a bitch to be me right now, I like me. As I am."
"I like you too." Willow says, a single tear falls from her eye as she smiles. "It's still you, right?"
I nod, not entirely sure of the answer myself. But nodding feels right. I touch my friend on her cheek and wipe the tear away.
"Get a room" Cordelia says from the doorway.
It is only when I get home that I remember the place has been trashed. And that is the last blow that breaks the dam, I start to sob uncontrollably as I step across the threshold. And me knees go weak and I drop down into a blubbering mess, safe in the knowledge nobody can see me fall apart.
And that is when I notice that I am not alone.
