Don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long.
Mitch Albom
She woke up later than usual the next morning, groggy with thoughts of Jace and his kisses and his ever changing moods. It was near afternoon and she struggled to step out of her bed and head to the bathroom. She kept recalling Jace, no matter how many times she'd tried to erase his voice when he sang.
He chose to be a drug dealer rather than pursue music, which he was evidently gifted at. Instead of choosing the easier path, he decided on the one that was more painful. She shook her head, smacking some toothpaste on her brush and resuming her daily routine.
x
Simon had texted her around nine, asking if she wanted to hang out. Staring at her phone, she contemplated whether she wanted to spend a few hours watching anime or listening to Simon rant about the newest of video games.
She smiled, sending her response quickly.
Sorry! I've got some art stuff I've got to finish. Tomorrow?
x
Clary knew where she was going.
She also knew she would never be satisfied until she saw him.
Her heart told her so.
x
To her surprise, she found his door wide open. She entered the room and found Maia and Raphael inside. She tried to push down the feeling of disappointment that spread through her. She had wanted to be alone with Jace. Plus, it wasn't like she was close friends with Maia and Raphael. Maia was commanding and confident, everything Clary wasn't. And Raphael, well, he was just plain mysterious.
She peered around until she found Jace sitting on a chair having a heated argument on the phone. She held her breath and listened to what he was saying.
"That's not our fucking territory. You know that, Eric." Jace squeezed his eyes shut, pressing on the bridge of his nose. He looked irritated and angry. "I'll think about it. Tell Verlac I'll drop by tonight for a meeting. Alright." He threw his head back when the call ended, letting his long strands hang in the air momentarily.
That's when their gazes met. He had finally realized she was there. Clary froze, awaiting his reaction, but all he did was turn to Maia, his expression determined, "We're going to the Bronx. Get ready. Seven, and we can't be late."
Maia's eyebrows rose. She uncrossed her arms from her chest. "What the hell are you talking about? I thought we weren't making business with them."
Jace only rose up, shouldering his coat. "It isn't a deal yet. Just a meeting." He fixed her with an unrelenting glare. "And if you don't want to go, I can hire someone else." There was an underlying threat to his words and Maia flushed, muttering something obscene.
"Get up." Jace growled and it took Clary a few seconds to realize he was talking to her. She yelped when he grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her outside without any explanation.
When they were in an empty alleyway, she wrenched away from his grasp. "What are you doing?" She demanded, hurt and confused by his actions. He lit a cigarette and kicked his leg back so that it lounged on the brick wall behind him.
"I'm taking you home. Let's go." His voice was low and firm. Like he didn't expect her to question him.
Clary huffed. "Why? I just came to see you."
He stepped forward, getting closer to her. "I'm busy today."
She bit her bottom lip, not allowing her frustration to show. "I heard you on the phone. If Maia's going with you, why can't I?"
That was the wrong thing to say.
He jostled her to the wall, not enough to harm her, but enough to alarm. She gasped in his hold, her olive eyes wide. He was so close to her. His chest pressed onto her breasts and she was breathing heavily, in short gulps. His cigarette was forgotten, but when he spoke, his breath smelled of sweet nicotine. "I don't want you asking that question again, Clary." His tawny hair was a mess on his head, shaking lightly as he continued. "Never."
And then he let go of her and she slouched to the cement, heart beating a mile a minute. She didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry.
It was only when Maia came outside that she actually glanced upwards. The brown skinned girl had a concerned expression on her face. She directed her words to Jace who was still standing across Clary, smoking another cigarette. "I think it's a good idea that Clary wants to come." Clary's lips parted in astoundment. "You know Verlac well, Jace. And you know we can't fool the prick anymore. He knows us." She pointed to Clary. "He doesn't know her. His team doesn't know her."
Jace was pacing back and forth, one of his hands shoved in his pocket. Maia added hastily, "She can just be an image. She won't be involved. It's not like we don't have protection."
Silence followed.
Until Jace stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him.
Maia whistled. "He seriously doesn't want you going." She smirked, "Too bad he knows I'm right."
Clary's face perked up. "I can go?"
Maia sighed, "Come with me. We're gonna have to get you ready." Her nose wrinkled slightly. "You are seriously not going in that."
x
"Uh, no offense, but I don't think I can fit in those." Clary said apologetically, waving her hand at Maia's closet of dresses.
The girl beside her scoffed. "I knew that, shrimp." She sounded like she wanted to laugh. She sauntered into the closet and moved aside some outfits. "Here. These are ones I've outgrown."
Clary nodded and skimmed through the dresses, already dreading how she would look. She decided to make some conversation. "Maia?"
She hummed in response, wrapping her hair in a bun with a few clips.
"This...meeting...Is it like super formal?"
Maia chuckled loudly, her shoulders shaking. Once she was able to calm down, she patted Clary on the head like a small child. "Girl, you've got a lot to learn." She cleared her throat, a smile still on her face. "It's a party. A big party."
"Oh." Clary replied quietly, wondering why Jace didn't want her going to a simple party. She stopped her searching when she found a short, green dress. She tugged it off of the hanger, admiring its material and color. The dress was off-shouldered and hit just below her hips. Clary was sure she'd never worn anything in that length.
"Oh, that's cute." Maia commented, rubbing some lipstick on her mouth. "It'll match your eyes."
Clary released a breath. "Okay."
x
It turned out Maia had a lot of similarities with Clary. She hated girly things, opted to wear sneakers instead of heels, and admired baggy clothing.
Clary pulled at the dress. "Isn't this too short, Maia?" She made a face in front of the mirror.
"Nope." Maia placed her hands on her shoulders and turned her around. "You're lucky I'm not one of those girls or I'd be super strict on your choice of fashion." She snapped her fingers elegantly. "Now, let me get your lips." Clary remained still as the violet lipstick was spread.
"There." Maia whispered in concentration, moving away.
She grabbed her purse, a small, pink pouch and observed herself once more in the mirror. "Let's go, shrimp. Guys will be lusting after us tonight."
Clary didn't like the sound of that.
x
They hailed a taxi back to Jace's place around six. The sky was a gloomy grey and the air was startlingly humid. Clary was glad, for her dress didn't cover much. She stared out of her window, watching buildings zoom by, nervous and excited and afraid. Jace was obviously angry with her and she pondered why she was going in the first place. Couldn't she have stayed home and saved him the trouble? He would've been happy she'd stayed.
She squirmed in her seat, the taxi coming to a stop. The driver gave them a questioning look, as if asking them why they wanted to go to a random alleyway. Clary grinned at his confusion and found Jace and Raphael outside. Her eyes widened at their attire. Jace was wearing a black suit, matched with a black shirt and tie. His hair was still wild and chaotic, blowing in the soft breeze. Raphael wore a dress shirt and dark pants. He winked when he caught a glimpse of her.
All at once, she wanted to stay in the taxi. She didn't want Jace seeing her. She didn't want to go to the party. It was Maia who pushed her back, muttering, "Come on. This driver's giving me the stinky eye."
Clary opened the door and hurried outside, right where Jace stood, waiting for them. Raphael trudged to her, saving her from her nervousness. "You look ravishing." She allowed him to grab her hand and draw her out of the car.
"Thank you." Clary mumbled, embarrassed.
"Alright." Jace started, not looking at her. "Maia and Raphael in a taxi. I'll take Clary." Her chest rose at the possibility. "Once we get there, I don't want an eye taken off of her." He pointed to Raphael. "Stay by her side till the meeting's over. Understood?"
Raphael gave him a playful salute. "Yes, sir."
Then they separated, going off their own ways, and Clary was left with Jace.
x
Jace waited for Clary to get in the taxi before he did. She was sure her legs had melted hours before. Once Jace shut the door and the air was filled with an uncomfortable silence, he turned to face her. "Clary." She stared at the golden waves in his orbs, anticipating some sort of scolding. He appeared beautiful in black. Like a dark angel or perhaps a lovely devil. The hue created a strong contrast between his hair and eyes. "Listen to me. Every word I say. Can you do that?" He was speaking softly, devoid of any anger she expected.
She nodded, not trusting herself to reply.
He continued, "When we get there, I'm gonna have to talk to someone. I don't know how long the meeting will be, but I need you to stick to Raphael. At all times." He reached out and took her hand. It was tiny compared to his.
She swallowed. "I will. I promise."
He sighed, satisfied with her answer. "Who told you to dress like that?" He added.
Clary frowned. "You don't like it?"
Jace let go of her clasp and raised his hands to her face. They were warm and tender. She let out a shuddering breath. "I like it." He grunted, faintly brushing his lips against hers.
Clary allowed her eyes to hover shut. He tasted like tobacco and something pleasant. She scooted as close as she could without ruining her dress. His hands roamed her back and her bare shoulders, sending goose bumps down her skin. There wasn't enough room in the cab so he settled with what he had, nipping at her mouth and taking pleasure in the way her palms caressed his chest, dancing and teasing.
When they pulled away for air, Clary laughed. Jace gave her a questioning glance, trying to adjust his hair to normal. "Jace!" She exclaimed, her cheeks flushed. "My lipstick. It's on your face!"
He brought his hand up, but she swatted it away. "Not like that, you idiot. Lucky for you, I have a napkin." She leaned forward and dabbed it on his mouth, her eyes narrowed in focus. Her scent engulfed him, hints of cinnamon and roses.
"There." She balled the napkin and tossed it back and forth in her hands. He forced his gaze away from her, trying to think about what he needed to do when he met with Verlac.
x
"Where is this place?" Clary asked, not used to the surroundings that were passing by on her window.
Jace checked his phone for something before answering, "It's pretty far. We're close though."
She nodded, playing with the necklace around her neck. She was tense and worried. She had always ignored parties at school, opting for small sleepovers with the nerds. She was reluctant to meet strangers. Clary pinched herself hard. Stupid girl. It was your decision.
x
After about an hour, they're at their destination.
A hotel building called Dumort.
Clary wiped her clammy hands on the cloth of her dress. Jace whirled to her, raising an eyebrow, "Ready?"
"Yeah."
x
When they exited the cab, they were able to meet up with Raphael and Maia, who were bickering over something, their volumes loud and heated. Jace took the lead, entering through the lobby, and Raphael took Clary gently by the elbow. He murmured into her ear, "Wait till you see this party."
Clary sucked in a breath.
x
Jace is gone before she realizes it.
Instead, she's in a storm of people who appear carefree and drunk, skipping and swaying and twirling. The extended room is dark, only lit by flashing, neon lamps and a disco ball. Raphael is greeting others as he walks by, sending momentary smiles and jokes. He seems popular amongst the guests, she notices.
Over the ear piercing music, Raphael tells her they're heading to the bar. Pushing through sweaty bodies, they sit on some unoccupied stools. Clary observes the entire scene, biting at her fingernails. She wonders where Jace is. "Don't look like you don't belong." Raphael insisted, shoving a drink in her hands.
She scowls at him and sips at the sugary liquid. It tastes like blueberries. Swinging her feet in the air, Clary barely hears Raphael tell her that he has to find Maia.
The movements of the people dancing are slow and lazy. She catches glimpses of girls with wild piercings and boys with colored hair. Nobody bothers with the food that is offered, despite how expensive it looks. Some stand in the background, talking quietly. Others are thrown in bunches, kissing and breathing heavily.
"If you look close enough, you might catch a fairy or two." Clary spun to face the unfamiliar voice. He's a young man with snow colored hair and dark orbs. He reminds her of a character she's always wanted to sketch but never could. His expression is bored, as if he's been to too many of these parties to discover something new. He doesn't wait for her to respond. "I'm Sebastian."
Clary smiles politely, reaching out her hand. "Clary."
"It's nice to meet you, Clary." He hops off of his stool gracefully and she realizes just how tall he is. Probably the same height as Jace. "You appear just as entertained as I am."
She laughs, a little anxious. "I guess. I'm not used to parties is all."
He raises an eyebrow. "Really? You look stunning, nonetheless."
"Thanks." She breaks their stare, making sure she doesn't miss Raphael if he's near. Once she's certain he's not beside her, Clary turns her attention back to Sebastian.
He's texting someone on his phone, tendrils of his hair falling forward. The moment he shoves it away, he asks, "Care to dance?"
She can't do anything but say yes.
x
Instead of the swaying and grinding everyone else is performing, Sebastian dances elegantly, reminding her of a prince. He places his arms around her waist, so faintly she can barely register his touch. Her palms remain on his broad shoulders and they move briskly with the flow of the music.
"By the way, don't drink any of the stuff here." He said, twirling her around.
Clary smiled in confusion. "I kind of already did. Was I not supposed to?"
Sebastian scoffed. "Don't do it again. It's worse than whiskey."
She scrunched up her nose. "Thanks."
He grinned, "No problemo."
Abruptly, his phone started to ring and he pulled away from her apologetically. He turned to the side, giving her his index finger. After a few seconds, he sighed dramatically. "I'm sorry, Clary, but I won't be able to keep you company much longer. Duty calls."
She shrugged. "That's okay. Thank you."
He cracked his knuckles and pointed at her head. "Is your hair natural?"
She touched a curl of her hair protectively. "Yeah."
He nodded appreciatively and scanned his surroundings as if looking for someone. Time had barely passed when Jace appeared, his mouth curled furiously. Clary watched him curiously, knowing that he hadn't noticed her yet. "Where the hell have you been?" He snarled. "We set up a meeting for a reason."
Sebastian raised his hands up in defense. "Calm down, Jace." They knew each other? "I just got caught up with a friend."
"Clary?" Jace asked, incredulously.
She nodded, offering him a weak smile.
"You guys know each other? Even better, I see." Sebastian commented, clearly entertained.
Jace's eyes were hard. "Stay here. I'll be right back." She shrank back from his tone involuntarily.
And then the two men were gone and Raphael was finally beside her, snickering. "You shock me everyday, Clary. Dancing with the biggest drug lord in New York?" He nudged her playfully.
She gulped.
x
It took about fifteen minutes for Jace to come back from his meeting. She had hoped it was enough time for him to cool down, but she was definitely wrong. The moment he made eye contact with her, he hauled her to her feet and dragged her through grumbling people, not caring enough to apologize.
Once they were outside, he hailed a cab and off they went, without giving much regard for Maia and Raphael.
x
"What the fuck were you doing with him?" He nearly shouted, a vein on his neck bulging. There was something like disbelief on his face, like he didn't expect her to do what she did.
Clary scrambled to answer, pushing her hair aside. "I didn't know who he was. I swear. We just talked to each other."
Jace fisted his hands. "You weren't supposed to get involved. You didn't listen to me."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "It's not my fault if someone wants to talk to me. You're the one who left to God-knows-where!" She didn't mean to higher her voice, but her words came out stubborn and firm.
Jace twisted around in his seat to face her. "Forget it." His tone was careless and cruel. "Do whatever you want."
x
They were back at Jace's place.
Clary was tired. She was exhausted from the party and annoyed with how Jace had spoken to her. She watched dully as Maia and Raphael discussed their business with Jace, leaving her out of it. She was glad.
Stomping out of her sneakers, she yawned, covering her mouth. I could've had an easy day with Simon. At the thought, she cringed and placed her face in her hands.
When Maia and Raphael left, Jace ignored her completely. He loosened his tie and tossed it to the floor. Then he dropped to his mattress, like he was made of lead.
Pursing her lips, Clary carried her shoes and satchel. She could just take a ride home. She had enough money to anyway. If he wasn't going to make contact with her, why did she have to care?
She turned the knob of the door and ambled outside barefooted.
x
She didn't bother with a cab. It was a short walk back to her apartment. The night air was moist and warm, making her already sticky skin sultry. The cement was warm to her feet, tiny pebbles clinging to her heels. She wrapped her arms around her chest. Dumb dress. I don't even feel like myself.
She made it back home, worn and ready to collapse.
Her mother wasn't back from work so she laid on the sofa, welcoming sleep like an old friend.
x
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