Disclaimer: I don't own Leo or the Avengers.
Clint
At Twelve PM, Natasha and I walked through the doors of Avengers Tower. Which was not our idea, by the way. We were not happy.
Assassinations? Sure! Bombs? You got it! The world is in danger? Count me in!
But moving in with Tony Stark? Kill me now.
Natasha and I had argued with Director Fury for two hours straight, but, as usual, Fury was stubborn.
So there we were, heading up the elevator, listening to Jarvis babble on about our floor, personal rooms, so on, and so forth.
I could only imagine what Tony had done to our rooms.
Jarvis guided us towards the kitchen, where Steve, Tony, Thor, and Bruce were all sitting. And staring at each other.
There was evidence of… a lot. All the cupboards were thrown open. A burnt toaster sat in the corner. There were burn marks on the walls. The trash can was knocked over, and all types of nasty stuff littered the floor.
Tasha crossed her arms. "How long have you guys been here?"
Steve didn't take his eyes off Tony. "Fifteen minutes."
Typical.
Finally Steve sighed and gestured at us to sit. "Look, I'm pretty sure none of us want to be here. But until the Director is satisfied, we're stuck together. So let's make the best of it." He stood up and looked us all in the eyes. "Thor, get someone to help you with the toaster. And no lightning inside. Stark, would you please keep your suits in the workshop? Bruce, just ignore everything Tony says." He turned to me and Tasha. "And you two. No lone wolf. We're a team. We eat as a team. We talk as a team. We save the world as a team."
We were all quiet again. Then Tony looked up, determination on his face. Uh oh.
"Look Gramps. You might be the leader of the team. But this is my building. I'll make the rules."
Steve shook his head. "If this is going to be the team's home we can't have chaos. And you are chaos."
"My home, my rules."
"This is our home too!"
"Really? Well we're going to have to change that, huh?!"
Blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah, great idea Fury.
While they argued, I heard the elevator slide by. Strange. From what Fury said, the top floors were all personal areas for Tony. And the Avengers now, I guess.
I met Tasha's eyes, and knew she was thinking the same thing. We were about to get up to check it out when Bruce whispered, "You guys want to leave and make it worse?"
Natasha sighed and settled back down. Great. Now we had to listen to Steve and Tony argue for forever.
Three years later, Natasha sighed and slammed the table with her hands. "ENOUGH!" We all looked at her. "This is obviously not working. Tony why don't you take us to our rooms. We'll talk about this more after we all calm down a bit."
We all nodded, Thor muttering something about insufficient mortals.
All of us stood up, but the moment we did a screeching sound came, like a malfunctioning microphone.
The lights started flickering. Then went completely out. Tasha and I drew our weapons. We all stood with our backs to the table.
Then there was a sound of… whirring?
I turned and shot toward the sound. The ignited explosive arrow lit up the kitchen. I found I had shot… the fridge?
Yes, it was the fridge, but it had little legs and long ape like arms with claws on the end. Thankfully, it had no face.
"What. The. Heck. Tony?" Steve said studying the muntanized machinery.
"Not mine." Tony said, staring agape.
The fridge started shuddering and exploded. Food went everywhere, and the lights flickered back on. The screeching came again. This time, the sink exploded. The doors slammed shut and locked.
"You are mine now." An extremely obvious fake voice said, followed by a very bad maniacal laugh.
Tony relaxed completely. "Leo?"
"Who is this Leo?" Thor asked, soaking wet from the sink.
"Aww. You ruin all my fun." The voice came again, only this time, very kidish.
"Leo! It is you. I thought we were under attack." Tony said looking relieved.
"By the refrigerator?"
"It's been weirder."
Natasha looked like she was about to attack Tony. "Stark! What's going on?!"
He turned to us and laughed. "But your weapons away. It's just my nephew."
We all stared at him like he was from outer space.
Bruce was the one to break the silence this time. "Since when did you have a nephew? Or a sibling for that matter?"
"Leo?" Tony said, looking up. "Care to explain."
"No, I think you got this one, Uncle T."
"But I explained last night." He whined. Then his eyes lit up. "I know! I'll get Pepper to explain! Jarvis? Is she available right now?"
"Mrs. Stark is currently unavailable."
Steve sputtered. "You got married?!"
Tony's face was priceless. He towards the ceiling and said unbelievably, "Leo?"
"Do you hear that? Don't worry, I'll take care of it, so… see you at supper. J, lock my doors would ya. Under a password."
"Leo!"
No response. Steve fell back into his chair and rubbed his eyes. "Great. Two Starks."
Tony smiled and shook his head at the ceiling. "He's a Valdez, actually. Want to see your rooms now? You're downstairs."
I shrugged. Why not?
"Just one question. When did Leo upgrade the fridge?"
Tony shrugged and headed towards the doors. "Who knows? Apparently, he's been sneaking in for months."
Tony reached the knob and tried to turn it. I remembered that the doors were locked.
Tony jiggled the lock again. "Leo? Get us out of here. LEO?!"
