Chapter 50

Quite The Ride

Authors Note: Hello all, thanks for the wonderful support and encouragement you have given me to get through this story As I write, our world is being shaken by pandemics and uprisings, activism and controversies and I haven't had the mojo to finish a chapter in a while. We could all do with some positive things right now, so I pushed through and got the next few chapters ready. It is bittersweet being in the final leg of this one, as I have come to love poor Lexi Hart quite a bit. Maybe she has another story in her to tell? I am not sure. Love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for following me, and wherever you are in the world, stay safe, self care and when times get tough, remember your kindness and humanity makes it all worth it. What would Buffy do?

Now… on with the show.


Thunder shakes through me, bristling the hair on my body and snapping me awake. I taste ozone and blood, and my nostrils fill with the scrap yard smell of decaying metal.

I am on a beach in the dead of night. Rain clouds rumble over head like a slow motion stampede of colossal beasts. I feel so small and vulnerable beneath the sky, so insignificant.

As I scramble to my feet, I become aware that I am a small boy again, my swimming trunks sea soaked and slimey with sand, my skin cold and clammy with fever. Where are my parents? They… they are nowhere to be seen. I scan the dark empty beach, feeling more and more lost by the second.

"How could they forget me?"

"Easily." Willow says, huffing a lock of soaked ginger hair from her big, round, innocent eyes. This is the Willow I remember, the child, not the woman she became. Not the selfish, meddling witch or the angry werewolf, not the one I wanted to kiss until the world fell apart (which it did, because of us). No, this Willow is sitting on the floor beside me, clawing damp sand up the side of a sand castle. "Mine forget about me too. But, It's okay. I can fix it. See? I am building a castle for us to live in. I can be a princess. You can be my prince."

"Neither of us want that." I say, feeling the dream words fall from my boyish lips. "Once this is all washed away." Willow squints at me, not understanding, and then looks out to sea.

I follow her gaze and see it coming, a great cargo ship, rotten and ramshackle, looming over us. It will be here soon.

My skin stings and I flinch and cower from the lightning that jags across the ocean sky.

"Relax Xander." Willow says. "You have a one in eighty thousand chance of being struck by lightning."

"You don't understand, Willow. I was chosen for this."

The lightning rips down from the sky and everything turns white. Pain rushes through me, starting at my heart and streaking across my chest and out through my body like a searing star. Everything tenses, everything falls silent and for a moment I am in darkness.

I am falling. Falling.

The air rushes from my lungs as I am painfully slammed into the floor. Dirt falls on my face, the stench of decaying plant matter filling my senses. Disoriented, I scramble to stand, finding nothing but pitch darkness and walls of sodden soil. Rain is falling on my cold flesh, and as I look up, a blinding flash of purple light scorches a rectangle onto my vision.

A grave. I am in a grave.

In a panic I scramble, being rewarded by nothing but more soil falling down onto me. I spit and gasp and flail, until I come to my senses. Think Lexi. Think.

I look at my bloodied, filthy hands, and realise I am a woman again. A Slayer again; I am full grown, I have what I need. I brace my back against the wall and push both feet hard against the opposite side. I am short, but the grave is narrow, and with my new strength I find it easy to bridge between. Good. I work myself up steadily, climbing hand by hand, foot by foot upwards towards the air.

As I scramble free of the hole, another peel of lightning crackles around me, setting the hairs on my skin on end. But I can see now, get my bearings, I am in a graveyard, my short black dress soaked to my chilled skin and my dirty hair matted about my face.

Another peel of lightning flashes and flickers like a broken lamp, and in an instant it is a broken lamp, and the graveyard now has plaster walls and a messy bed scattered with comic books. Beneath my feet the carpet of wet grass remains, but I am no longer in the graveyard. This is Faith's apartment.

A grunt and a metallic crunch rings out through the room. Glass shatters onto the grass at my feet, and I turn to see the silhouettes of two girls fall through what remains of the great arched window.

"Stop!" I call out, as I recognise them. It is Buffy and Faith, locked in combat, veering closer to the edge. Buffy wears black, with red licorice pants, the look on her face primal with rage. Faith lashes out and strikes Buffy with a back hand, but Buffy moves quickly, and by the time I am at the window she had Faith pinned. A hand cuff clicks into place.

"Stop! Stop this!"

"I don't think we can." Buffy says emotionlessly, not looking up. "We're joined." She raises her hand to show me the cuff. Faith sweeps her leg and sends her crashing hard. The fight turns and Faith pounds the blonde Slayer with all the fury she has burning in her. The chain that binds them snaps, and they spring apart. Faith freezes in horror as Buffy draws her dagger.

"Stop. I need you to stop!" I cry, and leap between them.

"Xander, step aside. Don't you see? It's always going to be like this." Buffy says. "We have no choice."

"Buffy, listen to me, it's the knife. It's the knife that is doing this."

"You're wrong, Xander." Buffy says. "I came here to kill her."

"But you didn't." I groan, trying my best to hold Faith's dead weight. "She survived. And she is better now."

"I am a killer. We all are."

"You regretted it. She regrets it. We need to move on, heal... together."

"Not all wounds heal" Buffy says, touching her throat. "But it'll be okay. He sees me now. They are coming for me."

"Buffy… what is going on? Why are we doing this? This has to be a dream right? A Slayer dream?"

"You look tired." Buffy says.

"We all do." Faith says, as she pulls me into an embrace. Her arms fill me with warmth, and I lean back into her with a sigh. "Not long to go now."

"Did I… how am I here?" I say.

"How am I here?" Faith sighs. "Spell go that bad, huh?."

"No, you're just sleeping. Exhausted." I say as I caress her cheek, revelling in the warmth of her skin on my numb fingers. "I remember leaving you. Kissing your forehead and going on without you to… I don't get it, how am I here? Am I asleep?"

"Maybe. Or maybe we all… well, if Kendra shows up I guess it will answer that." Buffy says with a sad smile that quickly turns mischievous "look at you both. You look so cute together."

"Bite me, Summers." Faith says, her breath hot on my ear. "I don't do cute, remember."

"I was with Willow and… we were on this ridge, Spike took us to this grassy ridge by the chemistry department… I met Willow there once… and… I remember climbing down a ladder, then…" I throw my hands up in frustration.

"You should stay here, It's warm." Faith whispers, drawing my face to meet hers. "We should all stay." And I smile at that thought as she kisses my lips, warm and slow. I want to, god help me I want to, byt the feeling of dread is clawing at me something awful.

"We can't." I whisper, and look up at the giant shipping boat that looms over us, slowly ploughing through the buildings, a juggernaut tearing everything apart in its path. "We can't. Because of what we are."

"Acceptance." Buffy says, looking up at the ship. "That's the last step on the scale. Well, self sacrifice, but I only plan to jump off that bridge when I come to it."

"Tower." I say, without knowing why.

"Self sacrifice." Buffy says, glancing to the sky. The stars look like a thousand pairs of malevolent eyes, glistening, waiting. "That's what makes a hero. Not how we are born, or how strong we are. It's making the choice. This is the work we do."

I sigh as Faith's arms pull me tighter to her body, pouring warmth into me. I want to close my eyes and curl up, to lose myself in her. I nuzzle into the crook of her neck, my lips grazing the sea salt tasting flesh. I shift, and kiss Faith upon the lips, fully and completely.

"I need to wake up." I say. Faith nods, sadly. She holds my hand as I step up onto the ledge. "I am sorry, Faith, let go. I need you to let me go. I need to wake up. Please..." Jesus, It's a long way to fall."

"I ain't stoppin' ya babe." She says, and joins me on the ledge. The stone beneath our feet shudders and cracks in the wake of the monstrous ship. "I am coming too."

"I hate heights." I grumble.

"Oh yeah, you're definately gonna hate this then." She smiles, nervously. "Quite the ride."

And, hand in hand, we step off the ledge.