Phoning it in 5
"Kenny read me Animorphs before," Karen said. "It heals physical stuff, but not genetics, right?"
"Yeah, but Jimmy can just morph someone else to skip all the genetic problems, if he can't figure out how to blend his morph with someone else's to fix it," I explained.
"That's only good for two hours at a time," Kenny points out.
"Unless he stays past the two hour limit and allows the morph to lock," Eric says, having read the series as well.
"But then he'd be stuck as someone other than himself," Leo points out. "Plus, no more morphing."
Jimmy laughed. "Or-or I could t-touch the cube again an-and start wi-with a n-new base f-form."
Everyone fell silent for a moment.
"Is it really that simple?" Wendy asks.
"Man, that is a huge plot hole," I said while holding out the box to Jimmy.
Jimmy places a hand on the cube and it glows brightly for a second. "Th-that feels w-weird," he said before looking around for someone to copy. "M-may I?" he asks me as I'm the closest.
"May not work on me, but go ahead," I offer, holding out an arm. Jimmy places his hand on my forearm, I suppress the urge to yawn, and not five seconds later I'm staring at the face of my twin. It reminds me of shape shifting practice with my cousins when I was a kid... erm I mean when Merlin was.
"I feel... strong," Jimmy says, his stutter gone as he steps out of his braces in his now smaller body and stands up, his clothes hanging loose on him.
"Yeah, but you look like a shrimp," Eric assures him, as Jimmy starts testing out his range of motion and marveling at how easy it is to move now.
I hold the cube out for Karen and after Shelly helps her put on her necklace she places a hand on the cube and acquires the morphing ability.
"Can I copy you?" she asks Shelly.
"Sure, but we better get you changed into some bigger clothes before you try and take my form or you are going to have one hell of a wedgie," Shelly warns her.
It doesn't take long for everyone to use the cube and start turning into each other. The jokes, innuendo, and perverted suggestions got pretty crazy before I figure out how to calm everyone down.
I have a couple of flyers from KFC and Taco Bell, so I start pulling out buckets of chicken and trays of tacos.
Eric actually weeps tears of joy as I give him a bucket of extra crispy with a side order of mashed potatoes and gravy.
After the feast...
"I haven't been this full in forever," Red says.
"Yeah," Eric agrees. "If this is a dream, don't wake me up."
"Can you take us to a world like ours, but before the robots took over?" Bebe asks.
Stan speaks up, "Would we even fit in, in a place like that anymore?"
"How do you mean?" Leo questions him.
"We aren't the kids we were when all this started," Stan points out. "I mean... Hey Eric, someone beats up Kyle for being a Jew in the new High School they make us attend, as we are mostly high school age now, what do you do?"
"Double tap to the back of the skull with a homemade silencer for any survivors and remedial knife fighting lessons for Kyle," Eric said without thinking about it.
"Not seeing the problem here, except for him hogging all the action," Bebe said.
Stan groaned.
Leo laughed. "Remember how mad everyone used to get over little things like flesh wounds? Fellas, we ain't like them no more. We just need a good amount of supplies and some place safe from robots to be happy. The world we came from is filled with rules and laws that would chafe something awful, I reckon."
"We're still young enough they'd try to control us and make us conform," Shelly said. "Might be best if we stay off the grid and stick to the forests until we're eighteen."
"My aim kinda sucks," I admit. "I was aiming for some place quite different when I got here. I'm retracing my steps in the morning to a world with no war or robots, because a comet turned everyone into red sand, leaving everything else intact. Like I told Murphy, I need a couple years practice before I can take you to any specific place."
"Sounds like heaven to me already," Leo says cheerfully.
There was a horrible sound of metal tearing from the front of the store and in the space of a few heartbeats the kids were all in cover positions with weapons primed.
"Ok, new plan," I say grabbing my backpack and the handle of the little red wagon. "Everyone follow me to someplace else before any robots break in here."
"Move people," Leo orders, the soft spoken young man's voice commanding the group more effectively than I ever would have imagined.
"Follow," I say, stepping into the comic store while allowing my next step to be anywhere as long as it was away from robot apocalypse territory.
The world skips like the film switched reels.
The moon hangs full in the sky above us as we step into the courtyard of an abandoned castle. It looks like centuries since anyone has been here. My breath fogs the cool night air.
"Everyone here?" Leo demands scanning the group. "Any injuries?"
"All present and accounted for, no injuries, sir," Bebe and Eric chorus after a quick check.
Leo nods firmly and turns to me. "How safe is this place?"
"No idea," I admit. "I was thinking safe from a robot apocalypse but beyond that I don't know." I yawn loudly and shake my head. "I'm going to collapse now, traveling this way really takes it out of me." He nods and starts barking out orders while I pull out an unused copy of Outdoor Life and start pulling out of a large pile of camping gear for everyone.
I barely manage to crawl into a sleeping bag before passing out.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
I awake to the smell of coffee and bacon with drool on my shoulder and a knee in my kidneys. Murphy and Karen are curled up with me. I carefully untangle myself and wiggle out of the sleeping bag. All my energies are back to full as I've finally managed to get some decent sleep.
Bebe and Eric are cooking over a campfire in the middle of the courtyard, while Jenny and Leo are sipping coffee and talking in low voices. Everyone else is asleep, mostly in pairs in zipped together sleeping bags.
"Morning, Merlin," Leo says quietly but cheerfully. "Want some coffee?"
"I'm good," I tell him before taking out an Orange Julius menu and pulling out half a dozen drinks for everyone.
"You have the most bullshit abilities in all of existence," Eric says with a grin. "I so envy you!"
"You wouldn't happen to know why Jimmy is himself again, but with no problems, would you?" Leo asks. "He reverted in his sleep, but he's still healed." Jimmy looks to me for answers with a large smile on his face not especially concerned with how it happened.
"Residual self image," I reply. "I'm a natural shape shifter so he's still morphing me, but he used my ability to look like himself in his sleep."
"If you can already shapeshift why did you pull out the blue box?" Bebe asked curiously.
"Because morphing instantly heals any injury and shapeshifting doesn't," I replied. "Morphing has its limits, but it's quick and heals even missing limbs in seconds."
"Can I learn to reach into books like you can?" Jimmy asks.
"Let me check," I tell him before taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out while focusing on increasing my ability to sense powers… to powers not created by those vials. I can easily tell it works because everyone suddenly pings on my radar as morphers, well except for the fish and Murphy.
I turn my attention to Jimmy and find he has 'Morpher Locked' and all of my native gifts as a child of the Courts and of Amber. "No... but I have a similar skill you can learn since you copied me."
"Similar skill..." Leo says thoughtfully. "Did you learn that reach into book trick like you learned morphing because it was better in some ways?"
"Pretty much," I agree. "Libromancy is actually much worse than shadow shifting in most cases, but they combine really well."
"And if we all copy you we can learn that skill?" Leo asks.
"Among others," I agree.
"Are you an Angel?" Leo asks out of the blue.
"What?" I respond, confused.
"Our lives have been a large slice of hell for so long it seemed normal, but thanks to you that's no longer true. You have literally rescued us from Hell and seem determined to make our lives better than the ones we started with," Leo explained.
"If you were suddenly given a lot of power and ran across some kids in your situation, what would you do?" I countered. "I gotta exercise my powers to grow stronger, so helping you helps me as well. I'm not an Angel, I'm just not a dick."
"That makes sense," Leo agrees offering his hand and copying my DNA as we shake. "I'll do my best to learn what you have to teach."
Stan quickly picked his way through the camp after exiting the castle's interior. "Leo you might want to see this. Wendy's in the battlements keeping an eye on things, but... you better just see. I am not trying to explain this one."
Leo looks at me and I shrug. "We are far from robots, that's all I aimed for. We could be in Wonderland for all I know."
"Well let's go see where we are then," Leo says calmly, completely unfazed by anything that's occurred.
Frankly Leo impresses the hell out of me. He reminds me of my father, or Merlin's father rather, as regardless of the chaos around him he keeps a cool head and uses his commanding presence to keep order... yet when the crisis is past he can fade into the background.
Stan leads us onto the battlements, taking care to point out where to step lightly so we don't fall. Once we reach Wendy she gestures towards the clearing in front of the castle. The castle is surrounded by a forest straight out of a fairy tale, an endless sea of massive trees that breaks upon the rock that is this castle and the colors are unusually intense.
Turning to the meadow in front of the castle, I find myself a bit surprised to see half a dozen strangely colored horses, each radiating a specific power I could sense but not understand, like they were tarot cards come to life, something that I find to be a promising omen as my family… Merlin's family, uses specially prepared tarot cards as a magical tool. I can feel five major arcana and one minor, the Knight of Swords, which appeared to be a white coated azure maned stallion. The rest were all mares of varying sizes with horns and wings except for the smallest female who had neither.
"Are they dangerous?" Leo asked.
"Those horns look pretty sharp," Wendy said.
I eyed the wings all but the male and the smallest mare had. "They could fly right in if they had a mind to, but horses generally aren't aggressive."
"Not unless you're made of grass," Stan agreed.
I could feel the power of the group and it made me realized I lacked all of my... Merlin's usual magical gear. I had no magical weapons or armor, I had no spikard or trumps, I had no allies to call on nor spells hung on my mantel to cast. I was going to have to fix that and the first step to doing so would be getting some hairs from those horses. "I'm going to get some brushes and take a closer look. I should be OK, but I'd suggest everyone else stay back while I do so."
"Unicorns are only safe for virgins to be around, if I remember right," Leo says slowly. "Not many of us still have that qualification."
"You guys are only twelve or thirteen, right?" I ask.
Leo chuckles. "After the red plague no one could get pregnant and we got us a small group with no STDs and no one to pass them to us, so since we could die at any time, staying a virgin... just weren't all that important."
"You guys do know that any damage the red plague caused has been healed now, right?" I asked.
Leo froze and then exchanged glances with the others. Silence reigns for a moment before Wendy said softly," We could have children."
"I thought we'd be the last," Stan said in shock.
"We are going to need some solid birth control measures," Leo said firmly.
"What?!" Wendy exclaimed horrified.
"Havin' kids young is dangerous," Leo explained. "The main reason the age of consent is eighteen isn't because you don't know your own mind until that age, it's because giving birth young isn't healthy and is often deadly. Now I ain't saying you can't have children, I'm saying we need to wait until it is safe, for you and the baby."
"I... I guess that makes sense," Wendy said with a sigh.
"Ideally we'll have a safe place to raise the little guy too," Leo said. "There's an order to doing things and that order is; build a nest before laying your eggs."
"Shelia and Bebe are the two girls most likely to get pregnant right now," Wendy said. "They are the most physically mature."
"I ain't a doctor or nothin' but since everyone has just been cured, we got at least half a cycle before pregnancy becomes a risk, so start a count and no one has sex after that point without protection," Leo ordered. "If we can get some protection earlier that'd be even better."
"I'll pass the message," Wendy agreed.
"I think I can find you a place to build your nests," I offer. "I was just going to take you guys to an empty world so you could relax, but I think I know of a world with people you guys would fit in with.
"Really?" Stan asked surprised.
"Really," I say as I consider it. "They set their town up to make it hard for outsiders to reach. They know the meaning of privacy. Plus I think their docs are some of the best, they only deal with a small community and actually care about their patients."
Leo smiled. "I'm sure glad to hear that. I was already worrying about how I was going to become a doctor in just a couple of years."
I reach into my backpack and sort through magazines until I find one about horse grooming and drop it off the battlements. Stripping down to my boxers I stuff my clothes in my backpack and hand it to Leo.
"It's a bit cold to be runnin' around naked," Leo notes.
"Keep an eye on my backpack," I tell him before changing into my cloud form and floating down to where I'd dropped the magazine. Sure I could have warned them about what I was going to do, but this was a lot more fun and it was a harmless prank.
Opening The Local Equestrian I start going through it and look for useful items. I don't find any pants, but I do find some assless chaps, a white shirt, and a leather vest to wear. I probably look like the cowboy in The Village People, but at least I'm no longer standing around in my boxers.
I pull out a couple of watering troth and a couple of salt licks. The second troth I fill with oats before setting the salt licks alongside it and figuring out how to fill the first troth with water.
Relying solely on my… erm I mean, Merlin's magical training, I attempt to summon the water I need, carefully weaving a combination of air and dust to cause a localized rain cloud. It's a lot harder than I expect, because it called up much more power than I needed and it was hard to control it. I end up soaking myself and the ground for a couple of feet around me, but I manage to fill the troth.
I drop my wet gear to the side and pull out dry versions, briefly turning cloud again to dry myself off. Dressed and dry to find a camp stool and some brushes and wait for the horses to approach.
The Magician approaches first, she's the second smallest horse and is purple with a darker purple mane. She's a curious little horse, examining everything and trying both salt licks as well as the oats and water before approaching me.
I hold out a hand and let her smell me before I start grooming her. She makes pleased noises that sound almost like a human getting a massage. I get a number of hairs from her tail and mane as well as a few feathers just from brushing her. I pack those away in a small bag and pull out a fresh brush as I'm approached by The Empress, a larger pink horse with a tri-colored mane, purple, violet, and gold. It takes a little longer to groom her thanks to her larger size and I get a slightly greater amount of hairs and feathers.
"Can I help?" Karen asks, nearly giving me a heart attack.
"Sure, just be careful," I tell her, before I give her a brush and instructions on what to do.
Naturally Karen walks up to The Sun, an enormous white horse with a mane that constantly changes color, making it hard to tell what color it is. To my surprise The Sun kneels down to allow Karen to groom her.
The Moon is the same size as The Empress, but has a deep purple almost black coloration and her mane looks like the night sky, which seems rather appropriate. She doesn't make noises like the others do, but she keeps me working longer, nudging me to get certain areas.
I stretch a little and notice Karen is actually riding The Sun now and urging her faster as she strolls around the meadow.
I approach the smallest one cautiously so I don't spook her. The Fool flickers to Wheel of Fortune for a moment and I almost miss it. Maybe their arcana only stabilizes after they mature? Being the smallest and having no wings it takes little time to groom her and I actually have to replace my brush, as her pink poofy mane clogs the first one with hair. I go through two more brushes before I see the amusement in her eyes. I can tell when I'm being teased, so I purposely poof up her hair even more and she does that whickering noise that means a horse is laughing at you.
I noticed a pink gem in a gold setting hanging around her neck, but it's clearly magical so I leave it alone. Touching random magical items is generally a bad idea, as my seared palm can attest to. Karen's necklace left a little heart shaped scar on my right palm that it did not remove, nor did morphing.
Stallions are generally a lot more aggressive, so I left the horned but wingless white stallion with the azure mane for last. He's the only one who feels like a minor arcana, The Knight of Swords. I don't know if that has any significance or not.
As I head towards him he begins to back away until the two pink horses herd him my way. He sighs a lot like a hen pecked husband and allows himself to be pushed towards me. He's a bit larger than The Magician but lacks any wings, plus I've gotten quite good at grooming horses, so it takes me little time at all, despite the fact that his mane was a bit of a mess.
I have a good supply of feathers and hairs and figure I'm done, but the little pink one is staring at me and her arcana is flipping back and forth again. "Food, water, salt, and grooming," I tell her. "That's a fair trade for what I'm taking."
She snorts and I sigh. "Fine, give me a moment to figure out something." With magic there's a certain balance you have to maintain, so I have to pay for what I've received and apparently my current offering isn't enough, which I have to admit is true. It takes me a moment to figure out something more equitable. "OK, let's strengthen your magic," I tell The Knight of Swords placing a hand on him and calling up my power. As I enhance his magic I'm hit with a surge of healing energy as Karen calls out, "Heal," and nails us all with her amulet, trying to be helpful.
The Knight of Swords shudders under my hand and I copy his DNA to help calm him for a moment since I don't have a spell handy for that purpose as he undergoes some sort of transformation.
The Knight of Swords is now The Emperor, a major arcana. He's at least half a foot taller and has wings as well, which The Empress is examining closely.
"Satisfied?" I ask The Fool, who snickers at me again and nods.
"Good," I say and collect my bag. "Come on Karen, it's time to go."
"OK," she says cheerfully, running around to give all the horses a hug before we both head for the castle, entering through the open portcullis to find Eric and Bebe waiting for us.
"Dude, why are you dressed like the gay cowboy from The Village People?" Eric asks curiously.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
