A Scent of a Woman

by Shaolin Kitten

Part 15

"Must you go? We just got back from a wonderful two-month long honeymoon and I don't want it to end."

"I must find work. There are those that may require my help. Besides, it might not be wise in your condition."

"My condition?!" Laura looked at Kwai Chang with a puzzled expression. "I am fine. There's nothing wrong with me. My shoulder has been healed now for almost four months."

Kwai Chang would not say anything more. Even he was confused about what he had said. Why did he feel their lives were about to change? Ever since, two weeks ago, he had noticed a difference in his own behavior toward his new wife. What was the reason? He would have to meditate on what it could be.

Laura also could not help notice the change in her new husband. He had been acting rather strangely the last couple of weeks, ever since their last passion-filled night together. Since that night, he had backed off. Their lovemaking was more on the order of deep caressing, but still with gentle loving care. It was as if he was being careful not to harm her in any way. Still, Laura could not help but wonder if there might be something wrong.

"Kwai, what's wrong? We haven't made love in two weeks and . . ."

"Nothing is wrong. I . . ." Kwai Chang was hesitant. How could he tell her that their lives were about to change when he did not even know in what capacity.

"Kwai, please. Are you angry with me?" Tears formed in Laura's eyes and something else that Kwai Chang did not expect; fear.

Kwai Chang turned toward her concern now in his face. "What is it, my love?"

"I . . ." now it was Laura's turn. "It's just that . . . Are you getting tired of me?" Laura's voice had taken on the quality of a lost child on the verge of tears.

Kwai Chang saw deep fear in the depths of her eyes, pleading to know what was wrong. He was stunned. How could she think such a thing, just because . . . Kwai Chang gathered her into his arms and held her. He needed to dispel this fear. "No, my love. I swore an oath to you. You are my life, my heart. You are my greatest love. I shall have no other, but you."

"Then why have you stopped making love to me?"

Kwai Chang gave a simple laugh and smiled. "A man cannot make love all the time. It would leave him with little energy for other matters. Lovemaking should be an art for which when done brings beauty not only for the lovers, but for the soul. It should be done with care. I wish to share more than just my body with you, I wish to share my soul. To do that takes more than just casual lovemaking." Kwai Chang waved his arm as if he was giving a lecture to a group of students and Laura listened with rapt attention. "I wish to know you fully, every part of your being." Kwai Chang cupped his hand around Laura's cheek and she grabbed and pressed it tightly to her.

"Oh Kwai. I was so afraid that you had changed your mind about me." Tears of relief fell silently.

"No, my love. You are . . . stuck with me?"

Laura laughed at his newly adopted phrase. She marveled at how naive he was in regard to slang and expressions. At times, having grown up in temples most of his life, Kwai Chang seemed like a man who walked out of the past. He could have fit in with Grandfather Cooper, her mother's father, who was forever relating stories about the old west. He had already been in his mid 80's when she was a little girl. She remembered him telling her of the time, when he was a boy, when he and a good friend of his, Daniel Brown, had been kidnapped. They had been rescued by a Chinaman by the name of Caine. He would never use a gun but would use his feet and hands as weapons to defend others. He had described the man as being one that contained a peaceful calm about him. Laura had not thought of that story in years. She had always thought that the story was just an old man's fancy until her mother had told her that she had heard the account from other sources as well. Very little had changed in the telling of it. She also mentioned seeing a wanted poster that her father had kept from that little adventure. The poster had indicated that the man was wanted in China for something. She had told Laura that she had not seen it for a long time and that she believed the poster had been lost. Was it possible that the man that saved her grandfather had been related to her new husband? She would have to ask him later.

Another two weeks had gone by and Laura was beginning to feel tired and even a little queasy. Kwai Chang had found work helping out the man at the hardware store and even the mechanic in town. The last job surprised Laura because she knew Kwai Chang did not drive a car. She was quite pleased until she learned that he was not getting paid.

"A Shaolin does not accept money for his services to others."

"How are we going to pay for food and other essentials?"

Kwai Chang could not answer her. He shrugged his shoulders and started to say, "I . . . do not . ."

"Don't tell me you do not know. Kwai, we need to be able to pay for these things. The grocer isn't just going to hand you food. You're not living at the temple."

"I could plant a garden?"

"With what? We don't even have any seeds."

Kwai Chang held up several packets that he had received from the hardware store as payment for building some much-needed shelves.

"That's all well and good, but it will take several weeks before they are ready to pick. What are we going to do when winter comes? This is northern California. It does snow here."

Kwai Chang felt somewhat ashamed. He did not realize how different life outside the temple could be. Even when he had been wandering for nearly 10 years himself, he had always found others willing to give him a meal for the work that he would do for them or help them in some small way. Now that he was married, he had responsibilities that he had not thought of before. Others worked for a living and earned an income so they could feel as if they were contributing. Kwai Chang also worked for that same living but his reward was their gratitude. Being married and responsible for another was something new to him. 'Oh, father,' Kwai Chang thought. 'How did you manage when you married mother?'

Just then a soft knock came on the door. Two monks could be seen standing on the porch. Kwai Chang's eyes became wide. He had not seen this particular old friend for some time. He had heard him speak many times throughout his travels. He had even saved the man's life once.

"May we come in?" Ping Hai said with a deep grin.

"Of course. My apologies." Kwai Chang turned toward Laura and without saying a word, she went to the kitchen to put on a pot of tea, their argument forgotten for the moment.

"Kwai Chang, it is so good to see you. I have heard that you have recently married. I came to pay my respects."

"I am honored but it should be I paying my respects. If I had known you were going to be here . . ."

"No matter. It is you who has done so much for me. I have come to see this particular temple. Being the only one of its kind in America, it is about time that I take in its beauty and serenity while I am touring."

"Master Kwahn will be pleased."

Laura returned with the tray and nearly dropped it. She had not realized who had entered their home. She had only seen Ping Hai in the light while the other had been in the shadows. Laura bowed in reverence to this holiest of men, the Dalai Lama. Laura looked over at Kwai Chang and wondered how was it that he knew this very special man. They had been talking for nearly an hour when his holiness broached the subject that was foremost in his mind.

"Kwai Chang, why do you not return to the temple? Though you are married, I am sure your new bride could be made welcome. In the past there have been families living in temples."

"How is it that you know this?" Kwai Chang's eyes narrowed.

Ping Hai shrugged his shoulders and Kwai Chang realized the source of his information. He would have to speak to Master Ping Hai about betraying a confidence. Then he sighed and looked away, embarrassed at the strong emotions and not wanting the old one to see into his heart. He tried to at least redirect the question that his holiness had asked and waited patiently for an answer. "Has it not been a tradition that the Shaolin wander and help those in need?"

"Yes, it has but there are also those who teach."

"I could not do that. I do not know if I have the patience to teach. And temple life seems so filled with solace that I do not know if I could accept it. There are also those at the temple who do not approve of me."

"Since when do you listen to what others think of you? Remember the eight verses for training the mind?"

"Yes." Kwai Chang bowed his head humbly.

"Remember the 8th verse?" asked the Dalai Lama. He spoke gently but firmly, like a teacher would to a student.

"May they not be defiled by the concepts of the eight mundane concerns, and aware that all things are illusory, may they, ungrasping, be free from bondage."

"Do you remember it's meaning?"

"An enlightened mind does not worry how others think of him. It is all illusionary."

"But that is not what troubles you. Tell me the truth."

"It is a long story." Kwai Chang was still reluctant to say much.

"I wish to hear it. Please, my friend, tell me what is troubling you."

"As you know, my grandfather killed the emperor's nephew in response to the murder of his Master Po. He came to this country, not only to escape China but he needed to know about this part of his heritage. He came in search of his brother to be able to know the meaning of family. Later, he married and took a wife, but he was still hunted. He would see her whenever possible. He tried to stay when they had a child, my father, but he could not. To do so would put them at great risk. Those hunting him could use his wife and son as hostages against him. In the end, he went back to China, taking my father and grandmother with him in hopes of regaining his honor and the honor for his son. He requested an audience and demanded that his honor be restored by trying to become bojaya to the new heir. They refused and he was killed for his efforts. My grandmother and father sought refuge in a Shaolin temple. They were not allowed to leave China. My grandmother died shortly after that. It was said from a broken heart. My father was raised in the temple much like my grandfather. Like my grandfather in America, my father was becoming well known in China for his healing abilities. There were still those of the Emperor's line who would see even my father pay for the death of a long dead nephew. He too fled to America, but this time it was because soldiers came, soldiers from a new kind of government that was destroying the old ways. I was five years old. Like my father and grandfather, I too was raised in temple life, partly in China and here in America. And still there are those who would see me pay for my grandfather's crime against the Emperor's line. I have seen it in the eyes of my fellow Shaolin."

"Correction, Kwai Chang, you have seen it in the eyes of one particular Shaolin who is no longer at the temple." Ping Hai stated. He had not said a word until then.

"But I cannot go back. I wish to try to live my life as an ordinary man. My path as a Shaolin has become unclear. To be inside walls . . ."

"But you are no ordinary man, Kwai Chang Caine. You have gifts that have been passed down to you through your father and grandfather and it is said since the time of Kwai Chang, your ancestor. But I can see you are not ready. There is much anger in you," said his holiness. "Give it time. Perhaps you will see things more clearly after time has passed. And I can at least see part of that reason for not wanting to return."

The Dalai Lama gazed and smiled at the beautiful woman who sat on the floor next to Kwai Chang. A blush came to Laura's cheeks. Yes, she was partly the reason, but lately, Kwai Chang had been questioning why he was doing the things he was doing. There was so much more to learn but he did not know why or who he was learning it for, himself or for another? The knowledge he was gaining as an apothecary could certainly be used to help others, but would he even get that chance. He had thought about the curse on his family's honor many times and each time, anger would rise in him. If there was a way to know if the emperor's line was still alive, maybe there was a way that he could have that curse removed and his honor restored. But in order to do that, he would have to continue his wandering and it could take years before he heard any news as to the Emperor's whereabouts. For now, though he did not wish to leave what he had here. Maybe in some small way he may find some peace, at least for a little while.

End of Part 15