Certain revelations can lead to even more surprising ones when you least expect them to.
Pairings Beyond Grimmons:
~N/A
Other Notes for This Story:
~N/A
Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or any of the show's characters. They are the rightful properties of Rooster Teeth.
Mister Squirrel
"So, let me get this straight."
Dexter Grif leaned over the wheel of the Warthog to glance at the man sitting next to him, stiff as a board and nervous as all get-out over his recent admission.
"The reason you drive so damn slowly all the time and don't really want to get behind the wheel anymore…" He paused for dramatic effect here, "Is because of squirrels?"
"Yes!" Simmons squeaked indignantly, already feeling horribly out of sorts and embarrassed by the confession he had just made, but feeling the need to defend himself from further teasing all the same, "They dart out in front of your car like they're mocking you!"
The maroon-armored soldier shuddered at what felt like hundreds of flashes of memories assaulting his senses, "Then your dad gets mad at you for running into a road sign because you were swerving to avoid them!"
Grif let out a tired, defeated sigh, "I am fairly certain there are no alien squirrels here on Chorus, Simmons." He said, not wanting to ponder any more than necessary such an odd situation in which he had to be the one to use logic, "You're going to get mocking debris here. At most."
The redhead scoffed disbelievingly, "That's just what they want you to think!"
For a long while there was silence, and Simmons panicked as he started to think that maybe he had revealed something to his comrade that he probably shouldn't have.
At length, Grif spoke up again, "You know, in Hawaii we didn't have any squirrels. But, there were these Small Asian Mongoose animals that all the tourists thought were our version of them."
Simmons said nothing, wondering where the conversation was going. Grif always had a slightly more contemplative and nostalgic look on his features when he talked about Hawaii, and a part of Simmons always enjoyed seeing that side of the other man.
"Even though they were an invasive species, Kai had one that she'd always feed when she was little." The orange-armored soldier smiled warmly at the memory, "She said it was her pet since we couldn't afford a cat or dog."
"R—really?" Simmons blinked, caught off-guard by the admission and curious to see just how long this vein of conversation would last, "What did she name it?"
"Mister Squirrel."
At Simmons' blank look, Grif huffed and rolled his brown eyes as he started up the vehicle once more.
"Whatever, dude. Just be glad that your deep secret shame is slightly more adorable than it was annoying and leave it at that."
Simmons' face was too busy turning red. The maroon-armored soldier was spluttering too much as his brain tried processing what the man sitting next to him had just said to notice that Grif's face was also rather red now as he tried keeping his focus entirely on the (thankfully!) squirrel-free road ahead of them.
Author's Notes: This short little humorous story was completely inspired by all of those crazy squirrels out there who like making my commute to work just a bit more difficult than it has to be. XD Stay safe on one side of the road, guys. :)
