Carolina asks Grif for relationship advice. Misunderstandings ensue.
Pairings Beyond Grimmons:
~Washalina
~Sarge x Grey
Other Notes for This Story:
~Be forewarned of copious amounts of handholding and extreme fluff (seriously, this one will most likely require an immediate dental visit after reading! XD).
~Story idea and some lines of dialogue are credited to my awesome sis and beta, Breyzy! :D
~Set after Season 15.
Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or any of the show's characters. They are the rightful properties of Rooster Teeth.
Do Nothing Day
When Dexter Grif had fantasized about simply sitting around and doing nothing with a certain redhead, the person he envisioned sitting crisscross in front of him had most fervently not been Agent Carolina, badass Freelancer extraordinaire herself.
The heavyset man sighed, trying his hardest to do so in a way that would not result in his companion catching wind of the disappointed gesture and subsequently kicking his ass over it. To be fair, some of his disappointment was due to the fact that earlier today Kai had shown up at his apartment.
Well, it was half his, given that he had oh-so-wonderfully "convinced" Simmons it would be a "total pain in the ass, but he'd make do" with sharing the Chorus residential space with his teammate back when it had been discovered that the temporary living arrangements Kimball had generously provided the Reds and Blues with were short a room due to his little sister's surprise appearance.
…It had been a brilliant bit of theater on his part, acting like he was doing Simmons a favor by rooming with him. The truth was, Grif wasn't really keen on trying to sleep by his lonesome anymore after the moon and many sleepless nights spent alone talking to volleyballs. Grif certainly didn't mind sharing space again with Simmons in particular.
But, surprisingly, it hadn't been Kaikaina Grif's big bro that the yellow-armored girl had been intent to drag out of bed at the ass crack of dawn. Although, now that he thought about it, it made a lot of fucking sense that Kai hadn't tried to wake him up since Grif had raised her well enough to know the futility behind such an endeavor.
No, much to an amused eyebrow raise from Grif and the blushing babble of incoherent sputtering from his maroon-wearing teammate/friend/something-more-that-he'd-really-like-to-just-admit-to-already-but-was-still-stupidly-holding-back-on, it had been Simmons that Kai had come to grab by the cybernetic arm as she forcefully dragged him from the apartment. Kai shouted something about how it was high time she took the flustered nerdy "in-law" on a shopping spree now that Chorus had something of a working economy again.
Her comment had been met with a high-pitched, "C—come again?" from Simmons out in the hallway, with Kai promptly shouting, "That's what she said last night, bitch!" in response.
Tucker had been laughing his ass off from the doorway to his own apartment just as Donut and Caboose clamored loudly about, obviously wanting to go along with the duo. Grif was pretty certain that Lopez had muttered something about how he should have turned his ears off earlier that day before the robot essentially slammed his door shut by smacking his hand as hard and as loud as he could against the control panel.
Looking in the hallway as Kai manhandled Simmons out of the building, Grif assumed that right about then Sarge was no doubt already back to trying to, as he worded it, "woo" Doctor Grey at the hospital. Or, as Grif liked to think about it, Sarge was providing him yet another reason to bleach his brain in the future. It was more than likely that Doc and a recently medically cleared Carolina had already gone along with the older soldier.
After all, Washington still hadn't been released yet from the hospital due to his gunshot injury and Doc was trying his hardest to make amends for what had happened at Temple's underwater lair by serving as an assistant of sorts to Doctor Grey in regards to the steel and yellow-armored Freelancer's recovery. …Not that Doc's assistance probably did much, but Grif assumed it was a case of it was the thought that counted or some other shit.
As for Carolina? Well, according to Sarge, she'd just stomp over to the door to Washington's hospital room every morning like clockwork before proceeding to glare at the object as though the door had personally affronted her by having the audacity to exist. This ritual would last for a little over an hour before the redhead stalked off in a frustrated heap of tensed up limbs. Sometimes she would even join Sarge and Doctor Grey for extra pudding in the cafeteria.
The pudding portion of the equation was by far the most disconcerting note of the whole story for Grif. He hadn't even been completely sure that scary Freelancers had ever known the intricate joys and delicacies of pudding.
So, much as he lamented how his plans for hanging out with a certain someone and doing absolutely nothing were ruined by his sister's spontaneous and frequent insistence on jumping the gun way too quickly when it came to her conclusions, Grif took the turn of events in stride like a champ and shrugged once before falling back asleep under his comfy, luxurious covers to dream some more.
After all, despite what Kai and the others often said, he and Simmons were not in fact married. Not yet, at any rate, but he was slowly, real casual-like, working up the nerve to broach that subject to Simmons like a true maverick. You know, right after Grif oh-so-casually mentioned that they'd totally been dating for a while now without officially having ever said so first. The chubby man imagined saying it real smoothly, in a friend-buddy-teammate sort-of way. Of course, this would be right before he explained to the nerd that the two of them might as well just make the whole damn thing even more official just for the hell of it. After all, there was the potential for a free party afterwards, so why the hell not?
When he had woken up quite a few hours later, Grif had his typical several helpings of breakfast and lunch. He even rather begrudgingly ate some fruit along with the meal just because Simmons was always trying to get him to at least eat something healthy. The maroon-armored soldier had somehow developed a freaky sixth sense sort of deal in which he seemed to know what Grif had eaten, even when he wasn't around to see it. Grif only ever rolled his eyes about the whole thing, but inwardly he was secretly touched that Simmons cared at all.
After the meal, Grif went out to a field on the outskirts of the city, the very one that he had loudly proclaimed a "prime relaxing spot" weeks before. He had been well on his way to blissful napping against the trunk of a tree when heavy footfalls alerted him to Carolina's presence.
…So, that explained how he was now in his current predicament. Still sitting cross-legged and leaning against the tree that he had picked out as his favorite resting tree, Grif opened one of his eyes. It was the green one that he had gotten from Simmons so long ago, the one whose twin was framed in a pale, freckled, and metallic face that Grif still found himself staring a bit too long at if he wasn't careful. The opened pupil spotted a very tense woman in cyan clothing making a facial expression that was the absolute perfect mixture of both consternation and constipation. He would have laughed had he not feared Carolina so.
Fuck. She sucked at this more than Simmons had back when he had first tried to slack off. That was truly saying something considering the constant ball of nerves and anxieties that the cyborg always carried around with him. Grif's mouth twitched slightly in fond remembrance of the first nap he had ever convinced Simmons to take with him.
Really, that was the problem with both redheads: they were often trying way too hard.
"Like I told you before, Carolina," Grif stated in his pseudo-sage voice that he especially loved using with Simmons since the nerd usually couldn't stop from rolling his eyes in response, "The ultimate goal of relaxation is to sit back and do nothing."
"Right. I know." She said as she gritted her teeth and wiped a bead of sweat off her face with the back of her hand, "I'm trying."
"And that is why you fail."
Carolina did, in fact, relax at that comment, if only to send a wry look the chubby man's way: "You are seriously enjoying this way too much."
Grif shrugged indifferently in response, not wanting to say more for fear that he'd accidentally provoke her into breaking his arm or something. "You're doing better though. By simply dealing with things in the moment at least." He tried complimenting her instead with that hippie garbage self-help gurus tended to spout.
"Uh-huh." The look Carolina was shooting his way was one of pure incredulousness, but at least her shoulders had stopped tensing up so much.
The silence ticked by and Grif figured that it would continue as Carolina contemplatively took in their surroundings. He could almost feel her trying, which defeated the purpose but seemed to suit her style. He closed his eyes again, thinking that maybe she was a "losing herself in nature" type after all.
"So…" Carolina spoke up awkwardly but in what seemed to be an attempt at "casual conversation" not a moment later, "Where's Simmons?"
Grif opened both of his eyes at the sudden question, noticing Carolina looking away from him and strumming her fingers against the fabric covering her knee. Man, she couldn't even stay relaxed when attempting a normal conversation. Grif almost pitied her, but then remembered she'd probably seriously hurt him for even thinking such a thing.
"Kai took him shopping."
"Why?" Carolina asked as her green eyes snapped over to him, evidently genuinely curious about what had occurred.
Grif shrugged indifferently, "She has it in her head that he's her new brother-in-law. Figured they should go out and do some bonding shit."
Carolina's eyes widened minutely in shock, "He is?" She questioned, straightening slightly and letting out a slight, awkward sort-of cough, "I hadn't realized that the two of you had already—"
"We aren't." Grif cut Carolina off before she started trying to apologize for not yet having bought them a toaster or a set of fancy dinner plates from wherever the hell they might have been registered (not that he really would have minded free stuff) as he ignored the "yet" his brain oh-so-helpfully (hopefully?) supplied at the end of his statement, "Kai's just jumping the gun again."
Carolina appeared to relax at his statement, and Grif felt a sudden stab of something altogether unpleasant in his chest. He wanted to blame the damn fruit he ate for breakfast. Had Carolina been asking about his Simmons because…?
"Uh, no offense, but I'm not sure that's a good idea." He heard himself blurting out before he could really think to stop himself.
After all, Simmons definitely deserved someone better than he was, so who was Grif to try and stop it if Carolina was interested? There was no way that Simmons felt the same as he did, but the possibility just broke him and made him feel desperate. It was the fucking moon all over again.
"What?" Carolina looked up at the orange-armored soldier sharply, confusion written plainly all over her features.
Grif, suddenly panicked, continued talking quickly, "You'd totally break him. Like physically break him." He continued to babble on, "I'm actually pretty sure you'd break most of us, but you'd definitely break Simmons."
Understanding blossomed on her face as Carolina actually pouted, "Offense," she muttered, clearly annoyed, "And, no, I wouldn't."
Grif raised a dark eyebrow and Carolina seemed to take a moment to recall the nerdy, lanky maroon-armored man in particular.
"Okay, fair point." Her shoulders sagged, but despite the gesture she fixed him with a clear look, "Besides, I wasn't asking because of that."
Grif felt the sudden spike of anxiety he had been feeling at this turn in the conversation quickly deplete, sweet relief replacing it instead, "You weren't?"
"No." She smirked as she spoke, "Trust me, Grif. I wouldn't be stupid enough to try to get in-between the two of you."
His relief started to go to war with an odd sense of flustered embarrassment, "Like I said, it's not like we're—"
"Not yet." Carolina's smirk widened, a knowing glint surfacing in her green eyes, "But it's going to happen. Sooner rather than later. I'd place money on it."
The dark-haired man couldn't help but smirk just then, decidedly ignoring the odd warmth on his tanned cheeks, "You'd have to join Tucker's betting pool."
"Who's to say I haven't?" Carolina was quick to shoot back, clearly enjoying the playful conversation.
Grif couldn't help but give her a slight bow for that one, though that still left him with a nagging sort-of curiosity in his gut about how this whole discussion had come about in the first place. He frowned thoughtfully, "Why were you asking about Simmons then?"
For a brief moment, Carolina's face actually reddened as she suddenly found the blades of grass tickling the legs of her pants absolutely fascinating, "The two of you are always together, and you just recently got through some very heavy, very serious things."
Grif nodded. That was actually fairly true. He and Simmons were wonderfully, even blissfully closer now than before thanks to recent events, but Grif knew they still had a long ways to go. He was just content to be around Simmons for the time being so long as Simmons would let him continue to do so.
"I just…" Carolina sighed, her words quickly tumbling out of her mouth in a rather hesitant, unsure manner, "How do you do that? Be together, I mean?"
Ah, so that was it. The root of her query. Understanding began to creep up on Grif and he smirked once again. She was asking him for relationship advice.
Well, as much as he might want to tell her that she probably should have picked someone else for that sort of thing, he wasn't about to leave a friend hanging, especially a pupil in the art of relaxation.
"Well, for starters, I'd probably go into his fucking room and talk with him." Grif informed her matter-of-factly.
Carolina nodded, her face still a slight red. She didn't even question Grif on how he had known that she had been referring to her situation with a certain other Freelancer, so he must have guessed correctly. Yes, indeed. Grif might be far from an expert in this particular field himself, but he was still definitely kicking it as a teacher all the same.
So, he continued the lesson: "Maybe you should try throwing in an insult at first. Just to break the ice, you know?"
Sometime later, after Carolina had thanked him for the advice and left, Grif was by himself once more. He leaned back against his favorite relaxing tree and dozed off.
"There you are!"
Grif opened his eyes at the sound of Simmons' high-pitched exclamation, an oddly happy feeling slamming into his gut (damn fruit!) that he tried quashing down as quickly as it came when he saw the relieved, rather jubilant look the cyborg had plastered all over his face at the simple prospect of having found him.
"Here I am." Grif finally managed to get out, patting the ground next to him as a sign that Simmons should take up his customary spot, "How did bonding with Kai go?"
Simmons sighed as he plopped down heavily by Grif's shoulder, "I pretty much passed out on my feet once Donut got involved."
He could just imagine that. Kai and Donut's shopping sprees had been the things of legend even way back in Blood Gulch with woefully out-of-date catalogs and shitty wireless connections.
Simmons smiled tiredly all the same, an oddly distinct blush forming on the still flesh-and-blood portions of his freckled face, "Right now, all I really want to do is just sit back and do nothing."
Saying that, and probably in a totally subconscious way that Simmons wasn't aware of so Grif probably shouldn't dwell on it too much either because it probably meant nothing and he really shouldn't be getting his hopes up, the redhead rested his head on Grif's shoulder.
The cyborg closed his eyes contentedly with the motion as the redness on his face intensified quite a bit as his hand rested warmly on top of Grif's in a way that was probably completely accidental. Simmons probably just didn't have the energy to move it away.
Grif let out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding until then, adjusting his body's positioning so that he and Simmons were leaning comfortably against one another. The weight of Simmons' hand pressing down on his own felt peacefully secure in a way, and he braved moving to lace their fingers together. He felt slightly giddy when Simmons did not pull away.
"That can definitely be arranged." Grif murmured, smiling fondly into Simmons' red hair as he did so.
Meanwhile, Carolina had finally worked up the nerve to stop glaring holes through Washington's hospital room door and actually step through it.
She stood by the blond's bed awkwardly as a tumultuous mixture of feelings waged war inside of her. The redhead thought of that moment well before all of this.
Back on the beach, Washington's hand gripping her gauntleted one around York's lighter reassuringly…
Just as she found herself subconsciously reaching out for Washington's hand that rested on the too pale and sterile hospital sheets in front of her, his gray eyes opened and zeroed in on the only other person in the room with him.
"Carolina."
His voice was raspy, but oddly happy-sounding. She was reminded yet again of how extremely fortunate he was in the first place to be able to still talk at all. Washington smiled faintly, and reached for her hand.
Carolina froze, completely unsure of what to do in this situation now that it was presented to her. This was the exact reason she hadn't been able to step inside this hospital room before now, damn it!
But then, Grif's sound advice from before came rushing back to her ears.
She gripped Washington's hand tightly first in a shaky, tentative grip of her own, smiling right down back at him, "Hey, dumbass. Just how long do you plan on lying around here?"
Author's Notes: I want to apologize so, so much for having not updated anything for a while. Real life got really hectic (but in a good, fun way! :D), I've been dealing with job drama (not so much fun XD), and then I ended up getting sick on top of all of that (also not too much fun XD). This week is also really stressful and time sensitive for my beta, who I am gifting this fic too as hopefully a fun momentary reprieve from studying and work but who won't be able to beta much else for me until after this weekend is over with.
But, such is life sometimes, yes? :) Sorry about the wait, and I hope that upcoming updates will make up for that in some small way as all my WIPs get underway. Hopefully I'll be able to share a few more one shots with you too! :D
As always, thank you for reading this. I really hope it isn't too terribly rusty or anything like that. :D Everyone needs a good dose of romantic handholding and fluffy, fluffy cavity-inducing sweetness from time to time! XD See you again soon! :D
