What the Heart Wants

Chapter 17

Eddie quietly let himself back into his house at quarter to nine, later than he'd hoped to be home for, but not later than Alia's curfew. Part of him was amused at being given a curfew by a fifteen year old, but the other part of him knew that he needed to abide by her words, and so he'd turned Melissa down on the offer to go to another bar after their meal together, reiterating his need to get home to his son, and preventing her from inviting herself in with him, not wanting to expose Michael to their activities if he was still awake, or having to explain what one of the year 11 pupils was doing in his house at night. During the night, he'd heard Melissa mention 'Ali' a few times, but she'd clammed up when Eddie had asked who that was, clearly nervous about what she could reveal to him, though Eddie knew she was unaware of just how much he did know. A few other comments had told him she didn't know he knew about Rachel's past either, though that seemed silly, considering the entire school knew. The longer it went on, the more he wanted to get out of the relationship with her, but whenever he thought about it, the loneliness was overwhelming, along with the despair that Rachel didn't want him like he wanted her. It was why he found himself suckered in deeper every time he thought of taking it slower or getting out. He wasn't proud of it, but he really didn't know what to do otherwise.

The living room light was on, but the landing at the top of the stairs was dim, clearly only lit by the nightlight that was put on once Michael was in bed. He'd go check on his son before finding the teenager and assure her that he was back in time for the deadline. He crept up the stairs, peeking into his son's room with a smile. Michael was curled up in his bed, all tucked up, clutching his favourite teddy bear and deeply asleep. Alia had clearly made sure he'd been tired out and gone to bed on time, both points in her favour, though he still felt vaguely guilty about asking her to do it in the first place. He closed the door to before making use of the toilet and creeping back down the stairs, heading straight for the living room where the light was still on.

Pushing open the door, he stopped in his tracks as he found Alia curled up on her side on his sofa, face practically melded with the sofa throw cushion, fast asleep with her leather jacket acting as a blanket round her upper half, boots on the floor in a heap at the side of the sofa. On his coffee table lay her books, some containing completed homework for her lessons, including his as he saw the yellow maths book, one that looked like her school planner, one that looked like a more personal planner, and another open notebook that seemed to contain nothing but neat rows of musical notes, the pencil beside the book indicating it was the last thing she'd been working on before falling asleep. Her bag was discarded beside the coffee table.

Leaving her for the moment, Eddie moved away into the kitchen, trying to keep as quiet as possible as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans and dialled a familiar number, the second on his speed dial (the first was Alison, for Michael's sake). "Rach?"

"Eddie? What is it? Don't say you're going to be late and you need my help convincing Ali."

"No, nothing like that," Eddie assured her quietly. "I'm actually already home."

"Oh, okay. Why are you calling me then?"

"See, the thing is, Alia's… well, she's fallen asleep on the sofa. I'd love to leave her there, but somehow I don't think that would be best. I was calling to ask you what you think I should do."

He heard Rachel sigh on the other end. "Wake her up. She'll be more embarrassed if you leave her there than if you wake her up. I can't come pick her up but tell her I've said she needs to get either a taxi or a bus. She is not walking home."

"I could bring her back."

"I thought you would've been drinking."

"It's a school night," Eddie denied, even though ordinarily that wouldn't have been a viable excuse. It wasn't like the staff at Waterloo Road reserved drinking down the pub for the weekend. "Plus I didn't want Michael to see me after a few drinks if he was still awake. Alison would kill me for a start."

"…Alright. You get to convince her though."

"She'll be home before you know it."

"Eddie… thank you."

She hung up and he pocketed his phone, moving stealthily back to the living room and kneeling beside the sleeping girl. He placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking it gently to wake her up. Alia twitched a bit but snuggled further into the sofa. "Mum, stoppppp," she mumbled, waving a hand lazily as though to bat away the interruption to her sleep.

Eddie hid a smirk as he pushed at her shoulder a little harder. "Alia wake up. Come on, you need to wake up." He watched as she finally roused a bit, blinking rapidly and twisting, almost falling off the sofa and causing Eddie to have to reach out and catch her before she could hit the ground, pushing her back onto the sofa. Slowly, she woke properly, rubbing at her eyes and looking much younger than fifteen. Eddie felt a stab in his heart, wishing with all his might to protect this girl, someone so precious to the woman he loved, his best friend, looking so young and vulnerable. It didn't escape his notice that she was only a couple of years younger than Rachel had been when she'd had to sell herself to survive. Which in turn only reminded him of Stuart and how he hadn't known he'd threatened both of them.

"Eddie? What's… what time is it?"

He ignored the use of his first name, correctly assuming that Rachel had called all teachers by their first names when talking to Alia about the school. After all, she'd been working there for nearly a year now, and Alia had only been a pupil for a couple of weeks. It was only natural that Rachel would have talked of them on a first name basis, especially if they didn't know Alia would one day go to school there. "It's about five to nine. I've been in ten minutes; checked on Michael, you and rang your mum." He managed a small, genuine smile. "At least now I get why you said your mum would be busy come parent's evening."

He shifted away as she sat up fully, the leather jacket falling from her torso as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, unintentionally putting her scar on display again whilst she reached out to snag her school bag, pushing all of her things off the coffee table into the open bag haphazardly. He shifted to stand up as she moved around, managing to pull her boots on before reaching for her leather jacket and putting it on.

"I'll give you a lift home." He produced his car keys and jangled them a little, drawing her attention as she frowned.

"That's okay, I can walk."

"Uh, no, your mum expressly banned that outcome. She said a bus or taxi if you had to, but no walking the whole way. Alia, I don't mind."

"I do." Alia rolled her eyes. "You've got Michael upstairs. You can't leave him on his own. He's four. I'll be fine. I've done worse than walk home at nine at night."

"I don't doubt it for a moment." His gaze was drawn to the white mark on her neck. "How did you get that scar?" She put her hand to it self-consciously.

"Barbed wire, I told you. I better get going."

He stepped in her path, watching her with a stern expression. "Barbed wire? Really?"

"Yes," She bit out. "I didn't realise it was there until it had caught me. I got myself patched up pretty quick, and it's fine now. Now, I need to get home."

"I told you, I'll take you." He held up a hand to forestall her protest. "I'll bring Michael with us. He probably won't even stir. No arguments. Or I'll call your mum."

"You act as though that's some kind of threat." Alia crossed her arms over her chest. "Call her, see if I care."

"I know you care about your mum."

"I never said I didn't. You calling her because I didn't do as I'm told is just not a threat though." Alia rolled her eyes.

Eddie sighed. Why was she being so difficult now? "Look, Alia, Rachel can't come pick you up and I'm not comfortable with letting you go out there in the dark by yourself. I know you said you'll be fine, but it'll make me, and your mum, feel better if you let me drop you off home, okay?"

He could practically see the cogs turning in her brain as she watched him carefully for several moments before nodding curtly, clearly not happy about the situation but allowing him to do as he'd asked. Before she could change her mind and disappear on him, he bounded up the stairs two at a time, scooping Michael from his bed, knowing he was right as the boy barely even stirred at the movement. Taking the stairs down more carefully due to the extra load, he found her stood in the doorway to the living room, looking just as stubborn as Rachel did mid-argument. It made him wonder what the woman was like as a teenager. Was she like the girl stood before him? Or was her stubbornness and tenacity she was practically famous for something she acquired later? Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he made his way to the door and ushered her out before him, locking the door behind him as he made his way to the car and buckled the sleeping four year old into his car seat, realising that the teenager had silently seated herself in the passenger seat in that time. Climbing into the driver's seat, he chanced a glance at Alia before setting off, the silence seeming unnaturally thick.

"So," Alia cleared her throat uneasily, not sure she wanted to hear the answer. "How was your date?"

Eddie flinched a little, glad he was sat at traffic lights as he glanced at the teenager. "It was alright, I guess. Went for a meal at the new place that opened up in the town centre."

"Yeah, I know where you're on about." Alia sagged a little in the seat. She still didn't like him much, but he needed to start thinking clearly about everything, and god only knew that her mother would never open up enough to push him to see what was right in front of him. "I know, by the way."

"Know what?" Eddie asked in confusion as he turned the corner, only about five minutes from Rachel's house at that point.

"What happened at the beginning of term."

Eddie felt his heart sink but tried to keep his face neutral. "You mean about the gun and Rachel running in after him?"

"No, but I did have a long conversation with her about foolishness and kids with guns after that day. No, I'm talking about the pub afterwards." Alia was watching him carefully and noted as his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel, despite not being able to see his face.

Eddie felt his heart jump into his throat as his stomach lurched. Oh god. As much as that night had played on a loop in his head constantly, he'd never imagined what had happened on Rachel's side, much less that she'd told her daughter what had happened. No wonder the girl didn't like him. He'd gone and pushed her mother when she had had such an awful day. "Oh. That. Alia, listen-"

"You have awful timing, you know that?" Alia interrupted him as he pulled to the side of the road and put the handbrake on, something telling him that driving during this conversation was a bad idea. "She wasn't supposed to be within ten foot of that school for another two weeks, but she went in anyway, terrified of everyone knowing about her past, not to mention going back to the place she nearly died in," Her voice cracked slightly, but she carried on, "but she did it. Then she has the day from hell, having so many panic attacks over the events I'm surprised she was still standing, let alone able to go to the pub. And then when she just wants to go home and forget the whole day, guess what happens? The one person that was supposed to know her in that place, that was meant to have her back no matter what, goes and tries to push her into something she's not ready for." Alia fixed him with a hard look, eyes glinting even in the darkened interior of the car. "You said she was special. She must've been, for you to move on to her sister less than a week later." She snorted derisively. "Well done. You pushed her walls up higher than I've ever seen them before. I'm sure she would've pushed me out too if I wasn't her daughter."

"Al…I…She… she didn't want me," Eddie managed to choke out. He was nearly hyperventilating at her words, delivered so harshly to him.

"Did she actually say that? Or did she try and push you away after a terrible day at work and that's what you inferred from it?" Alia sighed at the panicked, horrified look on his face. Parenting one adult was hard enough, let alone two. "She showed you the scar on her chest. Ignoring that she pretty much flashed you her boobs, what did you think?" She nearly smirked at the blank look on his face, clearly caught up in the knowledge that her mother had indeed pretty much flashed her boobs at him when showing him the scar on her chest. It did come quite far down her chest after all. "Because she thinks you're disgusted by it." She shook her head. "Stuart's parting gift to well and truly mess with her head."

"Parting gift?"

"Stuart's dead. Didn't you know? Still torturing her from beyond the grave, clearly." Alia shivered a little. "If their positions in the school had been reversed then she would've been dead instead."

Eddie flinched at the new knowledge. From what he'd heard from the firefighters, they'd been quite close together when they'd been found. His head was spinning from everything Alia had just told him. Could it truly be that Rachel hadn't turned him down cold that night, but pushed him away for self-preservation? And how could she possibly think he was disgusted by her scar? It just showed how strong she was, how much she'd weathered, come through with her head held high. It just made him even more proud of her. And he could've lost her before the current term had even started, if she'd only fallen a few feet from where she had. The thought was unbearable, and yet he knew the child in the seat beside him had had to live through that knowledge as she'd no doubt waited for Rachel to wake in the hospital. No wonder she was bitter towards him, Eddie decided, before he recalled another conversation he'd had with the teen.

"Well, say someone called you special, that they really liked you, only, you got scared and pushed them away a little, wanting to see if they'd wait for you, only for the guy to move on within a week, what do you think is going on?"

"Then maybe the boy is an idiot, who didn't see what a precious jewel he really had. He's a fool, Alia."

"Yes, you are."

He felt like hitting his head off the steering wheel. She'd been leaving hints for him this whole time, despite her obvious dislike of him, which was also understandable. She didn't know him, only that he'd been getting on well with Rachel, and then turning right back around and hurting her, however unintentional that hurt was. He really was an idiot. "I'm an idiot," he muttered, not really surprised when Alia nodded in agreement.

"I don't like you," She told him bluntly, ignoring his wince. "I spent so long hearing 'Eddie this, Eddie that', 'Eddie and I did this', I swear it was like a song on repeat. Then I went down to London for a bit, but I still got phone calls along the same vein."

"Because of Stuart's threats," Eddie supplied. Alia gave him a measured look.

"Look, I never told Rachel this, but… the day after he first came to the house, he came back. I was on my own because Rachel was at work. He… he pushed his way into the house, had me pressed up against the wall." She took a deep breath to steady herself, surprised when Eddie placed a comforting hand on hers that was clenched in a fist on her leg. "He told me that I was an added complication but not to worry, that once he'd dealt with my mum he'd make sure things came full circle. That the daughter would follow in the footsteps of the mother."

Eddie practically growled. "I'll kill him."

Alia managed a small smirk. "Good luck with that." Her smirk dropped. "I told him to go to hell, that he'd promised to leave my mum alone once she got him the bid. He gave me this really creepy smile and told me that he had his ways, and I'd be spreading my legs before the year was out." Eddie let out another growl at the threat, his hand tightening over hers. "I managed to push him out the door, I'm still not sure how, and I spent three hours shaking in the hallway. I knew I couldn't stay, couldn't be used as a way to hurt Rachel further, so I called my aunt and asked if I could live with her for a bit, lying about why. The next day, he'd seen mum at work again and made threats, so when she came home we agreed that getting me away from him was for the best, and I could come back when the threat of Stuart was over." She took a shaky breath, not knowing how to react when she'd kept that knowledge to herself for over six months. Eddie's hand remained over hers.

Eddie took in a deep breath, having never wanted to kill a dead man so much in his life. What that then fourteen year old girl had been through sounded horrific, especially the threat of essentially being forced into prostitution just as a way of hurting her own mother further was particularly awful, and Eddie could see why Alia would have kept that from Rachel, not wanting the woman to feel even worse than she had at the time. It was clear the girl had been through a lot, even for a fifteen year old, but that she was telling him made him want to protect her all the more, and made him curse mentally that Stuart wasn't still alive so he could murder him for what he'd put the two Mason females through. "I'm sorry he put you through that. I'd kill him given half the chance."

Alia shrugged, though he could see the effort it took her to appear unaffected. "He's dead, he can't hurt us anymore. What was I saying before all that? Oh yeah. She'd call and it would be all about you. Even when you found out about her past. And she was so scared of what you thought of her, what you'd do, I nearly caught the first train home. But by the time I'd managed to sort things to come home, Stuart be damned, you'd somehow come on side and decided to support her. She's only ever had that off me and my dad before. Everyone else reacted badly, and I do mean really badly. And she text me, that last day." Alia fished out her phone and scrolled through her texts until she came to the one sent the morning of the fire, clicking to open it before handing the phone to Eddie. He glanced down at the text message.

From: Rach

I hope you don't mind but I'll be late home. Eddie asked me on a date and I actually said yes! Mum x

"Obviously, that thing never happened, and I spent the next month just hoping she'd wake up." Alia took her phone back and put it away in her bag, knowing her mother would probably think her either on the bus or still arguing with Eddie. Well, she was still with Eddie, but there wasn't really much arguing. "Then it was physio and appointments and everything was just manic. Then it was the start of term and well, you know what happened from there."

"And I jumped straight into a thing with Melissa."

"I told her it was stupid to hire Aunt Mel." Alia rolled her eyes. "I'm not asking you to do anything by the way, Eddie. But you seem to have made some assumptions about my mother and Aunt Mel and everything else, so I thought I'd put you straight on it. God only knows no one else would. Just, could you do me a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Don't rush any further with Mel, not yet. I'm not saying break up with her or anything, I'm not that selfish. But I think you should stop and think before you do something rash, like propose or something. If it turns out you really truly love my aunt, then by all means, go ahead. But if it turns out you don't, just… think about things before you decide to string anyone along."

"…When did you become one of the wise men?" Eddie choked out the joke, knowing she'd given him a lot to think about.

"When I started parenting adults." She rolled her eyes. "I swear you're almost as bad as Rachel."

"Alia… okay. I'll stop and think about things before any of it goes any further."

"Thank you." Alia glanced at her watch. "It's half past nine. We really need to get going before Rachel pulls her hair out in worry."

TBC…