Everyone familiar belongs to Janet. I apologize in advance if there are more typos than usual.

Chapter 5

Tank's POV

"This is going to be fun," Steph said. "I hated the detour we had to make to bring Julie back to Miami, she should be with us to see the guys' reactions, but I honestly can't wait to experience Jersey as Stephanie Manoso ... wife of the Best Ranger ever to grace that competition."

I cut my eyes to her. "Thanks a lot for that. You just cut me out of the win. I know you only have eyes for the Boss, but I was there too."

She sighed and exchanged an 'Oh, I get your attitude towards him now' look with the mutt. "I did not cut you out of anything. I'm fully aware that you were running 'shotgun' with Ranger. If you stop pouting long enough, you'll remember that I was cheering as loudly for you as I was for him. I was just pointing out how incredible my brand spankin' new hubby is."

I threw my hands up, fully exasperated at that point. "That's the same fuckin' thing."

"It is not. Don't forget, you're the best friend Ranger and I can have," she tried out.

That placated me a little, but it didn't go over well with Brown and Santos. "Hey!" They said in partially-feigned outrage.

"What the fuck are we? Chopped liver?" Santos asked her.

"No, you're more like a Taylor pork roll," was Steph's answer. She got up from her seat and tugged on Ranger's hand as she clucked a sound at the hellhound. "Come on, Guys. I just realized the best thing about a private plane is I can go sit faaaar away from any passengers that annoy me." Once Ranger was standing, she cut her eyes back to us. "You know I care about - and respect - every single one of my Merry Men, so you clearly just decided to irritate me to pass the flight-time."

"Park it," I told her, which earned me a warning stare from the Boss. I sighed. Dealing with this particular couple is like walking through an active minefield blindfolded. "I only meant that you don't have to change seats. We're just initiating the bride into our club. If you didn't put Ranger above everyone else, there'd be a problem. The 'canine unit' can move along to another part of the plane if he wants though."

I got the same exact look from both the Boss and the mutt with that comment. Monroe sat his ass back down inches from where my boot is and just stared at me. Ranger and Steph went with a more direct approach.

"Did you say that to get out of a beatdown with your name carved into it?" Ranger asked.

"Yes. But I also believe your wife should think you're the best out there."

"I wouldn't be Ranger's wife if I didn't," Steph replied. "And he wouldn't have married me and agreed to keep Monroe if he didn't see something equally special in us ... so stop picking on me and bitching about our Rangedog."

No shit ... Monroe had still been glaring at me but snapped his head up and back to smile a pathetic and really jowly grin at her for the compliment and support she just gave him.

She scratched him between the ears and then kissed the spot her hand vacated before she finally sat back down. Ranger returned to his seat with another warning issued to the three of us via a look that made all of our old injuries hurt in remembrance of when he originally caused them.

The flight was quiet after that for a total of thirteen minutes. Monroe had gone to sleep with his massive dome pillowed on Stephanie's sneaker. Ranger and the missus had their seat belts on, but he still kept his arm stretched across Steph's body with his hand tucked against the inside of her knee in case of turbulence. She went with affection for him over protection and had her torso curled into his arm, her fingers linked together over the watch occupying the majority of his wrist. It was sweet in an overkill kind of way. But with Steph, the peaceful scene didn't last long.

"What is it, Babe?" Ranger asked her. "I can hear gears turning and I smell smoke. What are you thinking? And should I be bracing myself for whatever it is?"

"Probably. I was just thinking … since we have our Rangeman entourage already with us, maybe we should stop by my parents' place and get the news-sharing over with. I know Joe went straight to my mother to tell her we were engaged and I'd like her to know that the deal is already done so she doesn't waste her breath or my data trying to convince me to change my mind. I also wanna tell Grandma Mazur in person just so I can see her face as the news sinks in. She's been wanting this for us since you first came to dinner at the house."

"Edna thought the Boss was nice to look at, I'm not sure much beyond his appearance interested her at the time," Santos said.

Steph tsked him. "You just saw what Ranger ... and Tank," she added with a pointed glance my way, "accomplished this past weekend, I don't think it's safe - or very smart - to tease him."

"You don't know half of the shit I've said and done ... and I ain't dead yet. I doubt ribbing Ranger when he's still riding the high of getting you married to him is going to be the thing that does me in. I'm so good, I even got Monroe to eat cake instead of gnawing on my tibia after your knot was securely tied."

He has Julie to thank for that. After she had her Dad stop for a dog bribe, knowing Stephanie pretty well at this point, my by-choice niece wanted to make sure her soon-to-be step mom had access to cake after a traumatic experience like getting married. Julie convinced Ranger that a wedding ... even a quick, thrown-together one like we managed, needed cake. Being short on time, the two bought two cakes at the nearby grocery store. One was a sheet cake that was generically-decorated with white frosting and rainbow sprinkles. And once the actual ceremony was over with, Julie and I disappeared into the kitchen with both bought desserts and put the six-inch round cake, with its top covered in blue roses, onto the large rectangle to act as a impromptu multiple-layered wedding cake.

Lester had cut off a slab of it, put it on a plate for the hound and backed slowly away as if he knew Monroe was planning to exact revenge on him for the wedding finery he'd been forced into. I had to admit, it was a solid plan since Steph, Julie, and Monroe had huddled together at - or near - the kitchen table to top off the event by scarfing down cake.

Steph had the same thing for breakfast this morning, which is likely why she appears calm despite the suggestion of seeing her mother. The sugar and hydrogenated oils have lulled her into a false sense of security.

"I wouldn't get too cocky, Santos," Ranger wisely advised. "You can be taken out at any time by either me or the dog."

"Keep that threat in mind," Steph told him. "That's the attitude I need to be projecting when we reach the Burg."

"You don't need attitude, Steph," I told her, "when you have us."

"Yeah, we got your six. Always," Bobby promised.

"If you or Ranger are put in the crosshairs," Lester added, "we're moving in. And we aren't going to apologize for it."

That wasn't just talk. When we landed, our small motorcade pulled out from the airstrip and headed without delay to the Plum home.

"You've got to be shitting me," Steph said, when we all parked and filed out of the small fleet of vehicles waiting for us. "I knew Morelli would have been in contact with my mom, but I didn't think the jerk would've moved in while we were gone."

I can almost guarantee the six of us were thinking the same thing, just with varying degrees of violence tacked onto the visual, when we saw that Morelli's little putt-putt truck was parked next to Helen's Buick.

"If he wasn't already loitering in the neighborhood waiting for you to appear, Babe, your mother would have called him over. They both knew they had limited time to make a plan to end our engagement."

She actually laughed and then adjusted Monroe's leash in her hand so she could go up on tiptoes to kiss the Boss.

"Hah," she said as she pulled back, an uncomfortably-confident smile on her face. "Too late for that one. We ended our engagement on our own terms with the perfect wedding for us. You know, I'm now really looking forward to telling them our news." She looked down at the mutt. "Remember, Monroe. Morellis will cause food poisoning, so no chomping on this one ... yet." She glanced at us. "Are you guys ready to crash a party?"

Lester risked pissing Ranger and the hound off by slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"We don't crash parties, Steph. We show up and make them better."

Monroe growled, or that could've been Ranger as he freed his wife by shoving Santos' arm off of her and his body completely away from hers.

She was still smiling hard at the Boss when she opened the door to her parents' house. We were right behind Ranger who wasn't about to let her walk into a dangerous situation alone.

"How'd ya know I needed help and the troops brought in? Those two have been schemin' for days now," Edna informed Stephanie. "Well … who's your little friend here?"

"This is Monroe," she told her grandmother. "You could call him mine and Ranger's fur-baby."

"Fur-monstrosity you mean," I said under my breath.

"I'm gonna order him to lick you to death if you don't knock it off," Steph threatened.

Monroe just bared his fangs at me. In promise of what, I have no fucking idea.

"Are the busybodies in the kitchen?" Steph asked Edna.

"Yup. And boy have you gone and got the two of 'em in one heck of a tizzy. I can't believe the stud muffin here is gonna be my grand-stud muffin soon!"

"Sooner than you think," Ranger told her.

He didn't do anything except say those four words to her, and Grandma Mazur was already blushing and then flushing.

"Don't get blinded by Ranger's charm yet, Grandma. You're gonna want to be fully alert when you see this," Steph told her before glancing at us as she unclipped the leash. "Make yourself comfortable, Guys. Hey, Dad … looks like your house is being invaded twice today. You remember Tank, Bobby, and Lester, right? No one can forget Ranger. And this is Monroe ... who apparently wants a treat, judging by the way he's eyeing the TV and that commercial. Tank?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. She knows almost as much as Ranger does, and she's already taken notice that I keep some form of dried meat handy just to keep the beast happy and not chewing on me.

I tossed a Slim Jim into the jaw of life just as the shrew exited the kitchen with the douchebag detective hot on her heels.

"Stephanie? You're home? What are all these men doing here? And what's ... that?"

Fuck. Now I'm going to have to actually like the mutt just so I can continue to have nothing in common with the harpy.

"First off, I'm not 'home'. We just stopped here on our way home. This our rescued Boerboel, Monroe. He's not a thing or a that. People really need to get better acquainted with manners and dog breeds. You remember him ... don't you, Joe? Or were you too busy telling my mother other stuff about me that you forgot to mention Monroe? Maybe you were just too embarrassed to share that he scared you almost as much as Ranger does?"

"I was afraid for you, Cupcake, and I wanted your family to know that you're in over your head so they could step in and help get you out of this mess."

Again, I wasn't sure if the growl I heard was coming from Ranger or Monroe, but I'd guess from the stocky canine body taking flight when Morelli made the mistake of moving a half-inch closer to Stephanie, Cujo's the snarler.

Knowing what he's capable of, his actions may have been just to put the fucker in his place, because the mutt only tore half of Morelli's sleeve off his body. To rub it in, Monroe kept the material in his mouth and continued his growl around it while giving the cop the look he usually reserves for me.

"He's dangerous!" Helen shrieked. "Stephanie, you get him out of this house this very minute!"

I couldn't have been prouder of her. Steph shrugged, walked to Monroe and kissed him on his oversized head before addressing the dick.

"You can go on home, Joe," my best friend-in-law deadpanned. "You heard her, my mother clearly wants you to leave."

"Honestly, this is no time for any of your jokes, Stephanie. That thing is vicious and I don't want him here."

"Monroe's a good boy who doesn't respond well to bad guys," Steph informed the room. "I'm definitely not holding that against him."

Ranger pointed his index finger down and Monroe immediately spit out the scrap of plaid and came over to lie down at the couple's feet, his chin chilling out on his paws. Morelli is now beneath his attention, but Ranger and Steph will never be. The cop's shit outta luck here, still not understanding that respect is a two-way street.

"Myself and our dog do not appreciate Stephanie being disrespected," the Boss said to the cop and Steph's momster. "I know you need to tell yourself that Stephanie isn't the intelligent woman we all know she is, Morelli, because then you'll have to admit that she chose me and continues to love me despite what you've told her, but I'm not about to listen to you or her own mother talk shit about her. You both need to smarten up before I shut you up."

"You tell 'em, Ranger!" Edna yelled out.

"Thank you," Steph said, not only to Ranger, but also the three of us who moved as one to protectively surround the newly-wed couple.

If the Plums' living room seemed small before, the way the four of us aggressively expanded, ready to defend our girl, made any non-occupied square footage instantly disappear. Steph wasn't taking any of their shit either. She took the leash from Ranger and clipped it back onto Monroe's collar.

"It's alright if you can't appreciate Monroe's or my charm, Mom. We don't care and we weren't staying anyway. I just wanted to tell you not to bother calling or texting me to try to end my engagement to Ranger. After he and Tank won the competition, for the tenth year in a row might I add, Ranger and I got married at his place in Georgia while we could have Julie there with us. We're together and legal now, not that anything would've changed if we had remained engaged for a little longer. By the way, I had such a good time down there ... I'd be willing to relocate if I need to."

"That can't be legal," Morelli said. "There's paperwork involved and documents that need to be filed in the court when you get married."

I gave him a partial grin, knowing this was coming. "I guarantee Ranger's lawyers are the best in the business and in the country. This marriage is airtight. I almost want you to try to dismantle it just so I can watch you die trying."

"Tank's right. Even my license and social security card say Stephanie Manoso now. The state has no issues with the new me, too bad I can't say the same for the people in this house."

"I suggest you treat my wife far better than you have been or you're going to be dealing with me, not her," Ranger warned his mother-in-law. "I trusted Stephanie to know what she needed in the past, but marrying me gives me the right to step in if I feel she's being mistreated."

"Ranger's not the only one who's extremely protective of Stephanie," I added, crossing my arms over my chest. "You may not like us or the situation, but I'd advise you to keep your bitchin' to yourself about both."

"Hey! Look, Tank. You finally earned yourself a Monroe-grin," Steph said, gesturing to the mutt.

His jowls did separate in something that could pass as more than just a tongue-loll, but it appeared more like a by-product of gas than a smile similar to what I've seen him give her.

"What a shocker," I said with no change in my tone. "He shelves the stink-eye when I defend you."

"I can't help being so likable," she replied, "I inspire the best of the best to band together."

"You must be somethin' if you got hotstuff here to put a ring on it," Edna said. "Let me see that ring."

Steph slipped the leash onto her wrist and then lifted Ranger's arms up and over her chest. She interlaced their fingers so all three pieces of hardware were visible, two diamond-themed ones on Steph and a shiny but otherwise nondescript titanium band on the larger, darker hand holding her.

"I can't believe I married into the family," Edna said in wonder, sliding a bony arm around both Lester and Bobby's waists.

"You did," Steph commented, "as long as you don't scare the guys off. We're going home to tell everybody at Rangeman what we did while we were gone. You can come along and celebrate with us if you want to. That'll leave Mom and Morelli alone to wallow in their mutual misery."

"Damn skippy! Give me a minute to change and put my good teeth in. I just got me a set with a teeny diamond stuck right there in an eyetooth. I've been waitin' for something this big to trot them puppies out for."

She literally hauled ass up the stairs, taking the steps almost two at a time as if we'd leave without her if she didn't double-time it. That activity finally got Frank moving away from the TV.

"You sure about this?" He asked Stephanie.

"It's the only thing I never questioned," she answered. "I'd marry Ranger all over again today … and tomorrow too."

"You're happy with him, not that one?" He said, pointing first to Ranger and then towards Morelli, who is currently dealing with 'shrinkage' in multiple forms.

Stephanie's the only person I've ever met that can castrate someone without needing any kind of blade.

"I'm always happy with - and when I'm near - Ranger. But I'm completely miserable whenever I just hear 'that one's' name, never mind seeing him here in my family's house. So to answer your question, I finally did what made me happy."

Frank nodded, his idea of 'fatherly duty' done. "What competition were you talking about? You said something about Ranger winning?"

Steph sighed. Frank wasn't interested in wedding talk, but dangle a physical contest in front of him, and he perks right up.

"It's called 'The Best Ranger Competition'. They don't like to brag, so I'll do it for them. Ranger and Tank have taken home the trophy every year they've entered. And they've entered every year for the last decade. Lester, Bobby, you're up. While we wait for Grandma, you can give my Dad the summary you gave me when we were on our way to Georgia."

By the time Edna descended the stairs wearing a bright red 'check me out' dress that now also matches her lips, Frank was leaning forward in his recliner and looking at his son-in-law with new appreciation. In this case, I don't give a fuck if my participation wasn't focused on if it gets one of Steph's parents off their backs. The two of them deserve a break and to be left alone to live the life they so choose.

"You know, Dad. We have actual footage of the event," Steph told him. "I admit, almost all of what isn't professionally recorded for informational or recruiting purposes, is of Ranger and Tank. It's what I could catch fast enough with my phone. I'll warn you ahead of time, my videos are jumpy because I got a little excited when I spotted them and couldn't for the life of me keep still, but they are worth watching just the same so you can see how close to superheroes Ranger and Tank are. You can come along with Grandma and watch the competition in almost real time. One of the guys can give you two a lift back, maybe even after dinner if you'd like to stay and enjoy a mini-reception that I'm betting Ella will want to throw for us."

"The game's a repeat," Mr. Plum said as Edna got her and likely his coat. "I wouldn't mind watching something new."

Edna looped an arm through Frank's once they were fitted for travel. "We're gonna have us a party!"

Lester got the door for the two of them, and Bobby followed Frank and Grandma Mazur through it. I stayed behind with Ranger and Steph and of course the mutt who wouldn't leave them by choice.

"We'll leave you to enjoy your talk," Steph told her mother. "I'm sorry you can't be happy for us, but I'm not going to dwell on it. We've all made our choices and I really love mine. It's sad that you'll never see what's missing in your own lives that makes you fixate on mine."

"Keep this in mind," Ranger added, "my legal team is now Stephanie's. You come after her, they'll go after you. You believe I'm ruthless ... and you couldn't be more right about that when it comes to protecting my own. Come on, Babe. Let's get back to where we belong."