Clarke knew immediately who it was when she heard the knock on the window. Flushing the toilet - she'd barely made it -, she quickly splashed some water from the sink on her face and then slowly walked out to the woman crouching outside her window. Releasing the latch, she stepped back and allowed Lexa to enter her room.
They stood a moment in silence before Clarke spoke.
"I didn't know anyone could come through the window so gracefully." Lexa blinked, evidently thrown off by the selected topic. Good, Clarke thought. "And I thought I was the one that was going to use the fire escape first." Lexa's face remained stoic in the low light. Clarke forced a nervous laugh before shifting her gaze away. A few moments, and then Lexa sighed. Clarke hardly knew anything about the other girl, but she intuitively knew that the sigh was Lexa's way of expressing exasperation.
"I'm fine." She turned her back (aware that this very action would do little to convince Lexa that she was, in fact, fine), ducking back into the bathroom and, for something to do, brushed her teeth. Vomit breath was never a good thing.
By the time she'd gargled some mouthwash in an attempt to hit the gritty feel in the back of her mouth, Clarke's heart had calmed somewhat. She took a deep breath and after a brief internal pep talk, went back out to her bedroom.
Lexa had closed the window and was standing awkwardly between the bed and the bathroom. Seeing Clarke emerge, she hastily stepped back to give her space.
"You can go back to bed." Clarke mumbled. "Sorry for waking you up, it was just dream." The reply was quick and direct.
"Was it?" Clarke was arrested at those two words, and she found herself shaking her head in the negative before she could come up with a response. Lexa's face softened out of the stony expression.
"How can I help you?"
I was a simple question, but Clarke had-for months preceding her arrival at Raven's-had military shrinks tell her how she could 'deal with her pain'. They asked her what happened, and how she felt, and then prescribed medication and given exercises: none had asked her what she needed. Military discipline and decisive action was present in all aspects of her recovery, including her talks with 'professionals'. Lexa's inquiry immediately had Clarke gulping back tears (she hated crying in front of people, and had already broken down with Raven a few weeks ago).
Clarke tried gathering her thoughts- what did she need? Lexa stood calmly as Clarke reflected.
"Can you...can you stay?" Lexa nodded quickly. Clarke rushed to get more words out. "I mean, stay in the room. I don't think it's safe to share...I mean...I've had some…"
"I understand. I can take the floor." Lexa exited the room, leaving Clarke briefly baffled, until she returned carrying a pillow and blanket that were normally on Raven's couch.
"Lex...a-" Clarke winced internally at the unintentional endearment- "you don't-" She was silenced by a hand. Clarke paused as Lexa set up a sleeping spot at the foot of the bed and lay down quickly.
"I do not mind. Please," she gestured to the bed and Clarke reluctantly climbed in.
For the first time in a long while, Clarke went to sleep hearing another person breathing just a few feet away. She put her memories aside as she listened to Lexa's steady inhale/exhale pattern and slowly drifted off.
C.G.C.G.C.G.
The sky was barely lightening up when Clarke woke the next morning. Stretching quickly, she stumbled out of bed and nearly stepped on Lexa as she rounded the bed. She paused, foot raised, as the night before came rushing back. Clarke felt her face grow hot in embarrassment, and she shuffled quietly around the other woman, softly shutting the door to the bathroom. She leaned back against the closed door and exhaled, her mind going in many directions at once. For something simple to focus on, she glanced at the cracked watch on her wrist: 4:57.
Clarke pushed off the door and reopened it slowly, peeking her head out cautiously. Despite her inner turmoil, she found her lips quirking up as she fully took in the sight of her unexpected roommate. Lexa was sprawled across the floor, one arm and one leg (opposite) sticking out from the blanket. Her long brown hair looked wild around her face, and the free arm was cradling her head - the pillow looked like it was clutched to Lexa under the blanket. Clarke's thoughts turned from somewhat amused to Holy hell, I do not remember her shorts being that short last night….and is that a tattoo? She snapped herself out of those thoughts with an internal admonishment, and a sudden panic that she herself was wearing shorts. And a tee-shirt. Oh, fuck...did she see?
Frantically, she jumped over to her dresser and yanked on a long-sleeved shirt before grabbing a pair of sweatpants. She was in such a rush to pull them on that she lost her balance, falling down with a thump and a loud exclamation. Clarke immediately looked to Lexa, who was coming awake and looking around in confusion.
"Wassamatta?" Lexa mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Clarke took the opportunity to yank up the sweatpants.
"Sorry!" She whispered, getting to her feet quickly. "Go back to sleep." She started to creep out of the room when Lexa spoke again.
"Clarke?" She paused in her retreat and turned toward the now sitting-up Lexa, who did in fact have hair going every which way. God, she's adorable, Clarke thought.
"Sorry to wake you, I fell over pulling on pants. I'm an early riser - years of habit - and I was just going to sneak out because you were still sleeping and I just…" She paused the beginnings of a ramble. "You can hop in the bed if you want, I'm going to grab some coffee and put on the morning show or something." Lexa blinked more sleep away, and looked around again. Clarke could tell when Lexa remembered the previous night, because Lexa instantly became more focused, snapping her eyes to Clarke.
"Ok, like I said, feel free to sleep more." Clarke practically fled the room, heading straight to the kitchen. Raven's fancy coffee machine was just starting to boil when her bedroom door opened and Lexa emerged.
"Got enough for one more cup?" Clarke smiled and nodded. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt as Lexa took a seat at the island.
"Again, I'm sorry I woke you." Lexa shrugged, then smirked.
"There are worse ways to wake up than a pretty woman nearly falling on you." Clarke laughed at the comment. Plus, it gave her familiar territory.
"Next time I won't miss," she said. Lexa laughed back, arching an eyebrow, and Clarke hurried on, "of course, I won't come down quite so hard next time."
"Well, you fall on me and you will be coming quite hard, I assure you."
"You have a dirty mind in the morning."
Lexa smiled in what looked like satisfaction, before commenting, "Not just in the morning, but my brain does not properly wake up until I've had caffeine." Clarke turned to see the coffee was nearly done, and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard.
"Inhibitions are down before coffee. Got it." They were quiet until they'd both taken their first sip. "But in all seriousness, thanks." She held eye contact as Lexa nodded. Clarke thought Lexa had really expressive eyes- her face was uniquely controlled, but her eyes said a lot.
"You are welcome."
They sat in silence a bit longer before Lexa spoke again. "Do you want to do something today?" She bit down on her lip, which Clarke instantly found very distracting.
"Do something?" She repeated stupidly, transfixed.
"Yes. I have a free day. Do you want to...go for a walk?"
"A walk?" Clarke parroted. Again. Lexa huffed, but seemed more amused than annoyed.
"Or something else. We could hang out at watch movies. I hear that a new Finding Nemo sequel out…" Clarke tiled her head as now Lexa began to ramble. "Or we don't have to go see a kids movie, I realize that most adult women our age tend to either prefer relatable gritty drama heroines or-" her nose wrinkled in slight distaste "-the hapless rom-com who is swept off her feet unexpectedly. It would be understandably difficult to relate to animated fish…" Lexa trailed off, her cheeks blooming with color. Clarke held in her laughter for a beat, but then it exploded out of her, making Lexa pout slightly. Clarke reigned it in, her heart feeling lighter than it had in days. Without thought, she walked around to where Lexa was sitting and plucked the coffee mug from her frozen hands, putting on the counter and enveloping Lexa in a tight hug.
Hugging Lexa was fantastic right from the start. For starters, Lexa released a little hum despite the surprise. Clarke felt her gradually relax into and return the embrace, and both held on longer than was typical. Clarke pulled back first, noting a tentative smile as she put both her hands on Lexa's shoulders.
"I would love to do something with you today. And watching some animated fish sounds great."
